Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude, I'm sorry but you've done messed up. I don't think you'll be able to land any woman more than one step above freak.

Tattoo's on Black people have no definition in quick order. Just a bunch of stupid looking blur. Just a few tattoos comes across as emotionally immature. On Black people it looks like gangster Wantabees. Why in the World would you get a body sleeve !!!

Listen dude. Maybe rock the only thing you have. I'm fair skinned, 6'1" blue eyes, lean and mean with no tattoos and still get some attention, but honestly, I'm not the majority of women's cup of tea. They either hate or love blonde men, by far mostly hate. If you have a bbc then rock it. It'd be a great combination for a bad boy personality. There's lots of really short women so get that problem out of your head.

I disagree on your point about tattoos on black people not having definition in quick order. Just like any tattoo the tattoo will fade but if it’s done correctly and placed well then the spreading of the ink, while losing some detail, will not be a blur or unreadable from a reasonable distance. The only tattoos on my that are somewhat hard to figure out would be the roses on my kneecaps, and that’s only because they were done with my knees bent. In any case, they can always be touched up or covered up or blasted over. If you’re talking just random clouds and pieces placed haphazardly that’s one thing but that’s not the case with my work or the work on many black tattoo collectors that I know.

Speaking about my genitalia is vulgar and gross. Please refrain from doing so any more.

NP. Major respect for how you have handled yourself in this thread, including in response to PP above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually a simple explanation for being single is the man is very cheap or "going Dutch" type. Or he's a homebody or has time consuming hobby, or a combination of these

Do you organize nice dates/took women out of town for weekends at hotels?

If we’ve been seeing each other for a while, meaning 3~ months+ then yes. Not something that I would usually try for earlier than that unless the connection is out of this world.

You can organize a nice first date. But, yes, planning an out-of-town weekend as a first date tells a woman she will get murdered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually a simple explanation for being single is the man is very cheap or "going Dutch" type. Or he's a homebody or has time consuming hobby, or a combination of these

Do you organize nice dates/took women out of town for weekends at hotels?

If we’ve been seeing each other for a while, meaning 3~ months+ then yes. Not something that I would usually try for earlier than that unless the connection is out of this world.

You can organize a nice first date. But, yes, planning an out-of-town weekend as a first date tells a woman she will get murdered.

But waiting for 3 months to suggest a joint weekend trip will only result in other men taking these women for trips.

[Anonymous]

This is true. Do you plan the weekend and pay or split?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually a simple explanation for being single is the man is very cheap or "going Dutch" type. Or he's a homebody or has time consuming hobby, or a combination of these

Do you organize nice dates/took women out of town for weekends at hotels?

If we’ve been seeing each other for a while, meaning 3~ months+ then yes. Not something that I would usually try for earlier than that unless the connection is out of this world.

You can organize a nice first date. But, yes, planning an out-of-town weekend as a first date tells a woman she will get murdered.

But waiting for 3 months to suggest a joint weekend trip will only result in other men taking these women for trips.

No. My now-DH offered to take me on a plane trip after three months of dating. All of my friends were convinced I was going to be murdered. Building trust takes time, not because you’re a bad guy, but because other men are, and some of them are very good at hiding it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually a simple explanation for being single is the man is very cheap or "going Dutch" type. Or he's a homebody or has time consuming hobby, or a combination of these

Do you organize nice dates/took women out of town for weekends at hotels?

If we’ve been seeing each other for a while, meaning 3~ months+ then yes. Not something that I would usually try for earlier than that unless the connection is out of this world.

You can organize a nice first date. But, yes, planning an out-of-town weekend as a first date tells a woman she will get murdered.

But waiting for 3 months to suggest a joint weekend trip will only result in other men taking these women for trips.

No. My now-DH offered to take me on a plane trip after three months of dating. All of my friends were convinced I was going to be murdered. Building trust takes time, not because you’re a bad guy, but because other men are, and some of them are very good at hiding it.

I’m not talking about a plain trip. A weekend together at a local getaway is reasonable after people start sleeping. It’s not like a reasonable woman would sleep with a guy if she thinks he’s going to murder her in 2 days

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually a simple explanation for being single is the man is very cheap or "going Dutch" type. Or he's a homebody or has time consuming hobby, or a combination of these

Do you organize nice dates/took women out of town for weekends at hotels?

If we’ve been seeing each other for a while, meaning 3~ months+ then yes. Not something that I would usually try for earlier than that unless the connection is out of this world.

You can organize a nice first date. But, yes, planning an out-of-town weekend as a first date tells a woman she will get murdered.

But waiting for 3 months to suggest a joint weekend trip will only result in other men taking these women for trips.

My single friends would say good riddance if a man does not offer to plan and pay for such a trip around this time but I can see that if you're not used to online dating or very cautious you might want to wait longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually a simple explanation for being single is the man is very cheap or "going Dutch" type. Or he's a homebody or has time consuming hobby, or a combination of these

Do you organize nice dates/took women out of town for weekends at hotels?

If we’ve been seeing each other for a while, meaning 3~ months+ then yes. Not something that I would usually try for earlier than that unless the connection is out of this world.

You can organize a nice first date. But, yes, planning an out-of-town weekend as a first date tells a woman she will get murdered.

But waiting for 3 months to suggest a joint weekend trip will only result in other men taking these women for trips.

No. My now-DH offered to take me on a plane trip after three months of dating. All of my friends were convinced I was going to be murdered. Building trust takes time, not because you’re a bad guy, but because other men are, and some of them are very good at hiding it.

I’m not talking about a plain trip. A weekend together at a local getaway is reasonable after people start sleeping. It’s not like a reasonable woman would sleep with a guy if she thinks he’s going to murder her in 2 days

+1.

You have to spend time together to know each other and maintain excitement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude, I'm sorry but you've done messed up. I don't think you'll be able to land any woman more than one step above freak.

Tattoo's on Black people have no definition in quick order. Just a bunch of stupid looking blur. Just a few tattoos comes across as emotionally immature. On Black people it looks like gangster Wantabees. Why in the World would you get a body sleeve !!!

Listen dude. Maybe rock the only thing you have. I'm fair skinned, 6'1" blue eyes, lean and mean with no tattoos and still get some attention, but honestly, I'm not the majority of women's cup of tea. They either hate or love blonde men, by far mostly hate. If you have a bbc then rock it. It'd be a great combination for a bad boy personality. There's lots of really short women so get that problem out of your head.

I disagree on your point about tattoos on black people not having definition in quick order. Just like any tattoo the tattoo will fade but if it’s done correctly and placed well then the spreading of the ink, while losing some detail, will not be a blur or unreadable from a reasonable distance. The only tattoos on my that are somewhat hard to figure out would be the roses on my kneecaps, and that’s only because they were done with my knees bent. In any case, they can always be touched up or covered up or blasted over. If you’re talking just random clouds and pieces placed haphazardly that’s one thing but that’s not the case with my work or the work on many black tattoo collectors that I know.

Speaking about my genitalia is vulgar and gross. Please refrain from doing so any more.

NP. Major respect for how you have handled yourself in this thread, including in response to PP above.

+1.
OP seems like a calm and collected person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just going to be blunt it’s your height and the underlying need to overcompensate for it. Your post is a lot, don’t be a lot.

The height isn't an issue if people are going on second and third dates. and frankly, there are plenty of women who are 4'11-5"6 who would be totally fine with a guy that height.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just going to be blunt it’s your height and the underlying need to overcompensate for it. Your post is a lot, don’t be a lot.

The height isn't an issue if people are going on second and third dates. and frankly, there are plenty of women who are 4'11-5"6 who would be totally fine with a guy that height.

If he’s bulky not slim, and gives a certain sexy vibe, many taller women would be into him.

Do you date taller women, OP?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Yes will plan the trip and pay for everything except for general shopping for clothes/bags/etc.

No issue with them being taller than me at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually a simple explanation for being single is the man is very cheap or "going Dutch" type. Or he's a homebody or has time consuming hobby, or a combination of these

Do you organize nice dates/took women out of town for weekends at hotels?

If we’ve been seeing each other for a while, meaning 3~ months+ then yes. Not something that I would usually try for earlier than that unless the connection is out of this world.

You can organize a nice first date. But, yes, planning an out-of-town weekend as a first date tells a woman she will get murdered.

But waiting for 3 months to suggest a joint weekend trip will only result in other men taking these women for trips.

My single friends would say good riddance if a man does not offer to plan and pay for such a trip around this time but I can see that if you're not used to online dating or very cautious you might want to wait longer.

Not the OP, but I’m not going to be some woman’s free Travelocity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually a simple explanation for being single is the man is very cheap or "going Dutch" type. Or he's a homebody or has time consuming hobby, or a combination of these

Do you organize nice dates/took women out of town for weekends at hotels?

If we’ve been seeing each other for a while, meaning 3~ months+ then yes. Not something that I would usually try for earlier than that unless the connection is out of this world.

You can organize a nice first date. But, yes, planning an out-of-town weekend as a first date tells a woman she will get murdered.

But waiting for 3 months to suggest a joint weekend trip will only result in other men taking these women for trips.

My single friends would say good riddance if a man does not offer to plan and pay for such a trip around this time but I can see that if you're not used to online dating or very cautious you might want to wait longer.

Not the OP, but I’m not going to be some woman’s free Travelocity.

Why not? It's the last you can do for the wage gap and all the unpaid emotional labor and other labor

[Anonymous]

Niche looks?

There are many guys who are not hunky hotties who have no issue getting and keeping women.

One does not have to even be physically attractive in a traditional manner to get a date.

I think your women friends just do not want to hurt your feelings.
You likely are having issues with women because you sound like you have too many tattoos.

One or two tattoos are okay, but to cover your entire body with them is just gross.
You should do like Pete Davidson did and get them all removed.