Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s
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Anonymous
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It's not your height that made you niche. It's whatever made you have all those tattoos and those hobbies.Now you have to find a woman who likes the same or similar things.
Your post says nothing about what kind of woman you like. I like Latinos and would have written that probably 10x. There is no hint of sexuality or you even being attracted to women. Your hobbies keep you away from women. How many are BMXing or where in public do you perfect your beef Wellington? Consider ballroom or salsa dancing. |
Anonymous
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First time I read this (not carefully) I thought you were a woman so the great news is that since you are indeed a man, you're already way ahead of my initial assessment re: the Curtis Mayfield thing.
No clue how attractive you are really. But, it shouldn't matter if you are well groomed and fit. Men who are high earners and good mature people in their 40s are very attractive to women in their 40s who have been wronged or unlucky and know how to appreciate a good man (maybe they didn't the first time around). If you date in your age range and meet women through friends or organically or MAYBE the apps, you're going to find a partner who appreciates you for you. Consider therapy just to get things right and be your best you before you try to be with another person, if you are serious about being a good partner and open to that. If you think you're already there, consider if you are really dating the right age and type of women. |
Anonymous
| I was talking to my husband about how he'd date if something happened to me last night and he said absolutely no apps. He's not tall and is probably right they would not serve him righ tor fairly. My advice: no apps. Meet people in real life who are interested in you with no games. You sound like a nice genuine guy. |
Anonymous
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You talk a lot about yourself. See if you are talking a lot about yourself when you are on dates. Being a good listener is a very important skill, one that I find much more important than looks.
Just look around, tons of ugly people are married and partnered up. |
Anonymous
Idk. Your height is a lot of it or other aspects of looks. My cousin recently dated a guy who is about your height and she liked his personality so she went out on 3-4 dates hoping she could be attracted to him physically but it didn't happen. She wanted it to work but she wasn't feeling it. |
Anonymous
| Are you fun to be around or are you a know it all? Also 5'6 can be a dealbreaker. Lawyers are hard to date because they tend to want to argue and debate all the time. Learn to be more chill. |
Anonymous
| If you describe your hobbies as weightlifting/exercising, BMX bike riding that would be a turnoff. Tattoos are fine and could get over the height. |
Anonymous
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You haven’t found the right person yet. Keep looking.
And like others have said, consider how you treat, talk to, and listen to others. Not just women, but all your relationships. I’ve been with my dh for 26 years and the biggest contributor to our successful marriage is mutual respect and good communication. |
Anonymous
+1. I'm not sure it's niche looks, but niche hobbies. I work with lawyers - there are no visible tattoos and I've never heard any talk about BMX. Scratch that - one does, but he's connecting with his son. Very few beefy guys - again, one that I can think of and his bodybuilding was a hobby he shared with his wife. You'll find someone, but she'll be niche, too. |
Anonymous
This. Tattoos are likely a turnoff for most women who are your professional equals. Your professional life is white collar, but your hobbies lean more towards blue collar, likely making you unrelatable to both types of women. |
Anonymous
| What kind of women are you seeking? |
Anonymous
Big turn off for most people, especially educated people, your equals. Join a biker gang. Maybe there are some washed-out professionals there, iving their best life. |
Anonymous
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Guessing that the weightlifting/muscles/tattoos are overdone.
I am a short woman and I dated short and normal height guys. I'm attracted to a guy in a fine suit with a great shave. Basically the "every woman crazy about a sharp-dressed man" look. I'm looking for great eyes and a good laugh. And attentiveness and concern for a date. What I'm not interested in: bulgy muscles, muscle shirts, discussion of gym time, being around sweat/stink, non-gym exercise hobbies like jogging and at home lifting. I don't like tattoos either. I think they are favored by people with emotional issues. And they rarely meet aesthetic standards for design, placement, coherence of theme. A great smile would distract me. You can do whatever with your gym hobbies. Just don't discuss it on dates. Curtis Mayfield was very nice-looking when sporting carefully-trimmed facial hair, nice glasses, turtleneck and a blazer. Looks less good in 1970s clingy shirts, crazy caps, etc. https://www.google.com/search?q=curtis+mayfield&oq=curtis+mayfield&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIHCAEQABiPAtIBCDUxODZqMGo3qAIAsAIB&client=ms-android-verizon-us-rvc3&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#ebo=0&sv=CAMSXhoyKhBlLWRZZDVQX2NNZ0I5NnFNMg5kWWQ1UF9jTWdCOTZxTToOdkhpcldFRWZKWnh5b00gBCokCg5ONFRON1JKczAwUTZRTRIQZS1kWWQ1UF9jTWdCOTZxTRgAMAEYByCC64XKDTABSggQAhgCIAIoAg https://share.google/yZbbXY7fdme4E78nk https://share.google/7pYWUQ28WWT57x8xD https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCvFxNInzl8RDrv9OtBHCi9w |
Anonymous
Are the tattoos clear from your profile? Same reaction re unexpected tattoos here. Many who would otherwise probably be attracted to your profile would screen out for that so this may surprise people based on the rest of your profile if theyre not visivle/clear from that. |
Anonymous
| How old are you? How old are the women you are dating? |