Son marrying a woman with no career

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.

It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!

Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.

Raising a family is a career.

+100
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career.

You need to look up what the word means.

I think raising a child is the most important role that one can take on.

It is not a career, however. And it is not a full time job for very long (unless you are really trying to milk it).

OT: I had 24 years between having first kid and sending final kid off to college. I'd call that a useful 24 years and yes it is full time, when you have a spouse who travels 1-2 weeks during the month and leaves for work at 7:30am and returns at 8pm.
So you do you and I'll do what works for our family.

How is it full time when your kids go to school from 9-3, and then once your kids are in middle and high school and don’t need you as much.

PP is correct…it’s important but not a career or a job.

When one was in ES, they started school at 9:20am, but the MS/HS started at 8am in MS and 7:20 in HS (Got the bus at 6:25am for HS and 7:30 for MS). And the HS was off by 2:10pm. So in reality I had about 4.5 hours to myself to get shit down without the kids before I did pickup of the HSer/MSer to get them to activities.
I tried to get all cleaning/shopping/meal prep done during those hours so that time in afternoon/evenings were for the kids, shuttling them around. That means our weekends were also not filled with required cleaning/getting stuff done so we could have quality family time together.

I did work PT once the youngest was in ES--10 to 15 hours/week teaching private music classes. So that filled a good portion as well.

But there is a lot to get done for the family/around the house during your 4.5 hours with no kids around. Also, yes, I preferred to/deserved to take 1-2 hours each day for "me time" and a sanity break of just reading a book or grabbing coffee with a friend or working out---general self care.

Also, until your kids can drive themselves around at 17, your 2-3pm pickup at MS/HS then leads to driving them around all evening.

For example: I never went more than 10 miles from home. Drove 120 miles in 6-7 hours one day starting with HS pickup. Shuttling the kids from one place to the next, then going to shuttle the other kid to next activity and so on. So yeah, when your afternoon and evenings are like that, you take your "me time" at 10am and get on the treadmill or take a class at the gym.

Fine...so you admit it's not a FT job. I don't have any issue with a SAH parent and it can very well make financial sense.

I frankly don't understand having to drive the MS/HS kids around all afternoon/evening after school. My kids played travel sports and did outside school activities, but I guess you don't live close-in to the city (where kids could easily walk or take public transport to an activity) or carpool or something.

I WAH but I think a lot of people take sah moms in their community for granted. Because I am home, my house is where kids without parents at home go. That was the same growing up with my mom. I have a kid now eating at my house several nights a week because his dad (single) works evenings. My kids do drive now, but they also drive other kids around. When they couldn't drive I'd drive a whole bunch of kids, and because we're in a burb these kids could not have done sports if someone (not necessarily me obviously) didn't take them places. You may not need this help but many do. Would those kids be in danger without? No, but it's certainly better than being home alone eating microwave food and playing video games and doing no sports. And I would never knock down parents for needing to work FT/outside the home...Just stop bashing people who do zero harm to you and actually do help others.

I had one good friend transition back to work when my youngest was in 2nd grade. Guess where her two ended up most days when it was a snow day/day off/late start/early dismissal (this was way before work from home was a thing really)---my place. Just like you I was the place kids spent time, I shuttled other kids around as well. Happy to do it for friends, but sometimes you do feel taken advantage of---if my friend had to travel, the kids were dropped at my house at 7am when the dad had to leave for work (he had a long commute and had to be at work at a specific time typically). I had several other friends who left their kids in similar circumstances---because child care simply doesn't exist for those one of situations (days off/late start) and the before school care programs at our ES had miles long wait lists (it could take you 3-4 years to get a spot and it was similar for the 2 programs nearby who ran a shuttle) so if you wanted to return to work, it was difficult to have coverage for those days or days when you had to be at work before 9:45 am (ES started at 9:20, you were not supposed to drop your kid before 9am)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.

It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!

Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.

Raising a family is a career.

+100
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career.

You need to look up what the word means.

I think raising a child is the most important role that one can take on.

It is not a career, however. And it is not a full time job for very long (unless you are really trying to milk it).

OT: I had 24 years between having first kid and sending final kid off to college. I'd call that a useful 24 years and yes it is full time, when you have a spouse who travels 1-2 weeks during the month and leaves for work at 7:30am and returns at 8pm.
So you do you and I'll do what works for our family.

How is it full time when your kids go to school from 9-3, and then once your kids are in middle and high school and don’t need you as much.

PP is correct…it’s important but not a career or a job.

When one was in ES, they started school at 9:20am, but the MS/HS started at 8am in MS and 7:20 in HS (Got the bus at 6:25am for HS and 7:30 for MS). And the HS was off by 2:10pm. So in reality I had about 4.5 hours to myself to get shit down without the kids before I did pickup of the HSer/MSer to get them to activities.
I tried to get all cleaning/shopping/meal prep done during those hours so that time in afternoon/evenings were for the kids, shuttling them around. That means our weekends were also not filled with required cleaning/getting stuff done so we could have quality family time together.

I did work PT once the youngest was in ES--10 to 15 hours/week teaching private music classes. So that filled a good portion as well.

But there is a lot to get done for the family/around the house during your 4.5 hours with no kids around. Also, yes, I preferred to/deserved to take 1-2 hours each day for "me time" and a sanity break of just reading a book or grabbing coffee with a friend or working out---general self care.

Also, until your kids can drive themselves around at 17, your 2-3pm pickup at MS/HS then leads to driving them around all evening.

For example: I never went more than 10 miles from home. Drove 120 miles in 6-7 hours one day starting with HS pickup. Shuttling the kids from one place to the next, then going to shuttle the other kid to next activity and so on. So yeah, when your afternoon and evenings are like that, you take your "me time" at 10am and get on the treadmill or take a class at the gym.

Fine...so you admit it's not a FT job. I don't have any issue with a SAH parent and it can very well make financial sense.

I frankly don't understand having to drive the MS/HS kids around all afternoon/evening after school. My kids played travel sports and did outside school activities, but I guess you don't live close-in to the city (where kids could easily walk or take public transport to an activity) or carpool or something.

I WAH but I think a lot of people take sah moms in their community for granted. Because I am home, my house is where kids without parents at home go. That was the same growing up with my mom. I have a kid now eating at my house several nights a week because his dad (single) works evenings. My kids do drive now, but they also drive other kids around. When they couldn't drive I'd drive a whole bunch of kids, and because we're in a burb these kids could not have done sports if someone (not necessarily me obviously) didn't take them places. You may not need this help but many do. Would those kids be in danger without? No, but it's certainly better than being home alone eating microwave food and playing video games and doing no sports. And I would never knock down parents for needing to work FT/outside the home...Just stop bashing people who do zero harm to you and actually do help others.

Nobody's bashing anyone else. Maybe we can all agree being a SAH parent is a lifestyle choice but not a job or a career.

You have no clue about each family and what extra care is needed for each kid (or not).

Also it is a Job and many many parents give up a great career to pursue this. So how about you stop stomping/bashing moms or Dads who choose to SAHP? Most of us are not just sitting around doing nothing. And no taking a 1 hour break to have coffee with a friend or go to the gym is not "doing nothing" any more than it is for a working parent (mom or dad) to go out to lunch at work with co-workers or to grab a quick drink at 4pm on Friday at the office happy hour. You learn when your kids are young (and you are not getting more than 3-4 hours of sleep at a time), that spending 1 hour a day for just you is important for mental health. You don't get the alone time in the car for the drive to work---until they go to ES (or at least PS) someone is always in the car with you. So if you think moms/dads who take that 1 hour are "doing nothing" you are really messed up



Honestly, you sound a tad bit jealous that you were not able to make that choice in your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it amusing that people belittle being a mom.

No one is belittling moms, just lazy gold diggers.

[Anonymous]

Not your problem. My husband encouraged me to stay home after we had a child as I was unhappy working. You know what it allowed me to do? Take care of my mil for years till she passed. She loved me, I loved her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it amusing that people belittle being a mom.

No one is belittling moms, just lazy gold diggers.

So you think anyone who is a SAHP is a "lazy gold digger"?

that is not how most spouses of a SAHP would describe their spouse. Most are thrilled and love the benefits for their family---normal couples discuss these things and make joint decisions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it amusing that people belittle being a mom.

No one is belittling moms, just lazy gold diggers.

So you think anyone who is a SAHP is a "lazy gold digger"?

that is not how most spouses of a SAHP would describe their spouse. Most are thrilled and love the benefits for their family---normal couples discuss these things and make joint decisions

+1

People really need to step back from judging other families. You decided that two working parents works best for your family? Great! You decided a SAHP is important for your family? Also great! Stay out of other people’s business, including your AC’s unless they ask your opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.

It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!

Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.

Raising a family is a career.

+100
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career.

You need to look up what the word means.

I think raising a child is the most important role that one can take on.

It is not a career, however. And it is not a full time job for very long (unless you are really trying to milk it).

OT: I had 24 years between having first kid and sending final kid off to college. I'd call that a useful 24 years and yes it is full time, when you have a spouse who travels 1-2 weeks during the month and leaves for work at 7:30am and returns at 8pm.
So you do you and I'll do what works for our family.

How is it full time when your kids go to school from 9-3, and then once your kids are in middle and high school and don’t need you as much.

PP is correct…it’s important but not a career or a job.

When one was in ES, they started school at 9:20am, but the MS/HS started at 8am in MS and 7:20 in HS (Got the bus at 6:25am for HS and 7:30 for MS). And the HS was off by 2:10pm. So in reality I had about 4.5 hours to myself to get shit down without the kids before I did pickup of the HSer/MSer to get them to activities.
I tried to get all cleaning/shopping/meal prep done during those hours so that time in afternoon/evenings were for the kids, shuttling them around. That means our weekends were also not filled with required cleaning/getting stuff done so we could have quality family time together.

I did work PT once the youngest was in ES--10 to 15 hours/week teaching private music classes. So that filled a good portion as well.

But there is a lot to get done for the family/around the house during your 4.5 hours with no kids around. Also, yes, I preferred to/deserved to take 1-2 hours each day for "me time" and a sanity break of just reading a book or grabbing coffee with a friend or working out---general self care.

Also, until your kids can drive themselves around at 17, your 2-3pm pickup at MS/HS then leads to driving them around all evening.

For example: I never went more than 10 miles from home. Drove 120 miles in 6-7 hours one day starting with HS pickup. Shuttling the kids from one place to the next, then going to shuttle the other kid to next activity and so on. So yeah, when your afternoon and evenings are like that, you take your "me time" at 10am and get on the treadmill or take a class at the gym.

Fine...so you admit it's not a FT job. I don't have any issue with a SAH parent and it can very well make financial sense.

I frankly don't understand having to drive the MS/HS kids around all afternoon/evening after school. My kids played travel sports and did outside school activities, but I guess you don't live close-in to the city (where kids could easily walk or take public transport to an activity) or carpool or something.

I WAH but I think a lot of people take sah moms in their community for granted. Because I am home, my house is where kids without parents at home go. That was the same growing up with my mom. I have a kid now eating at my house several nights a week because his dad (single) works evenings. My kids do drive now, but they also drive other kids around. When they couldn't drive I'd drive a whole bunch of kids, and because we're in a burb these kids could not have done sports if someone (not necessarily me obviously) didn't take them places. You may not need this help but many do. Would those kids be in danger without? No, but it's certainly better than being home alone eating microwave food and playing video games and doing no sports. And I would never knock down parents for needing to work FT/outside the home...Just stop bashing people who do zero harm to you and actually do help others.

Nobody's bashing anyone else. Maybe we can all agree being a SAH parent is a lifestyle choice but not a job or a career.

You have no clue about each family and what extra care is needed for each kid (or not).

Also it is a Job and many many parents give up a great career to pursue this. So how about you stop stomping/bashing moms or Dads who choose to SAHP? Most of us are not just sitting around doing nothing. And no taking a 1 hour break to have coffee with a friend or go to the gym is not "doing nothing" any more than it is for a working parent (mom or dad) to go out to lunch at work with co-workers or to grab a quick drink at 4pm on Friday at the office happy hour. You learn when your kids are young (and you are not getting more than 3-4 hours of sleep at a time), that spending 1 hour a day for just you is important for mental health. You don't get the alone time in the car for the drive to work---until they go to ES (or at least PS) someone is always in the car with you. So if you think moms/dads who take that 1 hour are "doing nothing" you are really messed up



Honestly, you sound a tad bit jealous that you were not able to make that choice in your life.

That’s what all the dipshits say after their diatribe claiming a lifestyle choice is a career.

I couldn’t care less about working or not working, but stop justifying your decision by claiming it’s a job or a career.

I don’t even know why you would even want your family to view you in that way. It’s like you are the help, just around to handle the shit work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.

It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!

Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.

Raising a family is a career.

+100
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career.

You need to look up what the word means.

I think raising a child is the most important role that one can take on.

It is not a career, however. And it is not a full time job for very long (unless you are really trying to milk it).

OT: I had 24 years between having first kid and sending final kid off to college. I'd call that a useful 24 years and yes it is full time, when you have a spouse who travels 1-2 weeks during the month and leaves for work at 7:30am and returns at 8pm.
So you do you and I'll do what works for our family.

How is it full time when your kids go to school from 9-3, and then once your kids are in middle and high school and don’t need you as much.

PP is correct…it’s important but not a career or a job.

When one was in ES, they started school at 9:20am, but the MS/HS started at 8am in MS and 7:20 in HS (Got the bus at 6:25am for HS and 7:30 for MS). And the HS was off by 2:10pm. So in reality I had about 4.5 hours to myself to get shit down without the kids before I did pickup of the HSer/MSer to get them to activities.
I tried to get all cleaning/shopping/meal prep done during those hours so that time in afternoon/evenings were for the kids, shuttling them around. That means our weekends were also not filled with required cleaning/getting stuff done so we could have quality family time together.

I did work PT once the youngest was in ES--10 to 15 hours/week teaching private music classes. So that filled a good portion as well.

But there is a lot to get done for the family/around the house during your 4.5 hours with no kids around. Also, yes, I preferred to/deserved to take 1-2 hours each day for "me time" and a sanity break of just reading a book or grabbing coffee with a friend or working out---general self care.

Also, until your kids can drive themselves around at 17, your 2-3pm pickup at MS/HS then leads to driving them around all evening.

For example: I never went more than 10 miles from home. Drove 120 miles in 6-7 hours one day starting with HS pickup. Shuttling the kids from one place to the next, then going to shuttle the other kid to next activity and so on. So yeah, when your afternoon and evenings are like that, you take your "me time" at 10am and get on the treadmill or take a class at the gym.

Fine...so you admit it's not a FT job. I don't have any issue with a SAH parent and it can very well make financial sense.

I frankly don't understand having to drive the MS/HS kids around all afternoon/evening after school. My kids played travel sports and did outside school activities, but I guess you don't live close-in to the city (where kids could easily walk or take public transport to an activity) or carpool or something.

it's a full time job when your spouse leaves at 7:30 and and returns at 8pm or later, if they are not traveling. You don't get assistance with the kids after 6pm most nights until they are almost in bed (ES age at least). You are constantly on. So to reduce stress in our house, I stayed SAHP. I wasn't going to raise the stress levels in our home when I enjoyed being a SAHP and we didn't need the money.
Ironically, I was voted "most likely to succeed in HS" because I was one of the most driven students around. Went to a Top university, majored in 2 degrees (totally different degrees because I loved both and was top notch in both), got hired immediate after college, got paid to go to grad school, and had a top job after that. Got married continued that job, and switched paths once I had my first kid. Just decided I enjoyed being home with the kids when they were born and it worked for our family to stay that way.
MyPT job didn't really add any money. A our HHI, I was paying 50%+ of my income to taxes (federal, FICA, State)---as my income is all at the higher bracket when it's "extra". But when I became a SAHP I was making 6 figures (25 years ago), so I was on a good career path.

And no, we lived in the suburbs (was not going to live in Baltimore or DC proper). So yes, taking kids to tutoring (One kid had learning issues and required specialized tutoring) and their activities involved driving. is it required? Of course not, but my kids loved their upbringing and loved that they had a SAHP. And no, you can't carpool unless others at your school are doing the exact same activities at the same time (or at least if they live nearby---if you live 30 mins away, carpools dont really work well).

So WTF does this have to do with OP’s post about their kid marrying a late 20s minimum wage worker?

Your situation was nothing similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not your problem. My husband encouraged me to stay home after we had a child as I was unhappy working. You know what it allowed me to do? Take care of my mil for years till she passed. She loved me, I loved her.

So you hated your job and quit. We get it.

[Anonymous]

She may be a better person than a woman with a solid career and bank accounts.

[Anonymous]

Well, career obsessed or lazy men who want SAHMs to handle everything from kids and home to every physical, emotional, social and logistical need of the family are also gold diggers.

[Anonymous]

*just after a different capital or asset

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She may be a better person than a woman with a solid career and bank accounts.

or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.

It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!

Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.

Raising a family is a career.

+100
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career.

You need to look up what the word means.

I think raising a child is the most important role that one can take on.

It is not a career, however. And it is not a full time job for very long (unless you are really trying to milk it).

OT: I had 24 years between having first kid and sending final kid off to college. I'd call that a useful 24 years and yes it is full time, when you have a spouse who travels 1-2 weeks during the month and leaves for work at 7:30am and returns at 8pm.
So you do you and I'll do what works for our family.

How is it full time when your kids go to school from 9-3, and then once your kids are in middle and high school and don’t need you as much.

PP is correct…it’s important but not a career or a job.

When one was in ES, they started school at 9:20am, but the MS/HS started at 8am in MS and 7:20 in HS (Got the bus at 6:25am for HS and 7:30 for MS). And the HS was off by 2:10pm. So in reality I had about 4.5 hours to myself to get shit down without the kids before I did pickup of the HSer/MSer to get them to activities.
I tried to get all cleaning/shopping/meal prep done during those hours so that time in afternoon/evenings were for the kids, shuttling them around. That means our weekends were also not filled with required cleaning/getting stuff done so we could have quality family time together.

I did work PT once the youngest was in ES--10 to 15 hours/week teaching private music classes. So that filled a good portion as well.

But there is a lot to get done for the family/around the house during your 4.5 hours with no kids around. Also, yes, I preferred to/deserved to take 1-2 hours each day for "me time" and a sanity break of just reading a book or grabbing coffee with a friend or working out---general self care.

Also, until your kids can drive themselves around at 17, your 2-3pm pickup at MS/HS then leads to driving them around all evening.

For example: I never went more than 10 miles from home. Drove 120 miles in 6-7 hours one day starting with HS pickup. Shuttling the kids from one place to the next, then going to shuttle the other kid to next activity and so on. So yeah, when your afternoon and evenings are like that, you take your "me time" at 10am and get on the treadmill or take a class at the gym.

Fine...so you admit it's not a FT job. I don't have any issue with a SAH parent and it can very well make financial sense.

I frankly don't understand having to drive the MS/HS kids around all afternoon/evening after school. My kids played travel sports and did outside school activities, but I guess you don't live close-in to the city (where kids could easily walk or take public transport to an activity) or carpool or something.

I WAH but I think a lot of people take sah moms in their community for granted. Because I am home, my house is where kids without parents at home go. That was the same growing up with my mom. I have a kid now eating at my house several nights a week because his dad (single) works evenings. My kids do drive now, but they also drive other kids around. When they couldn't drive I'd drive a whole bunch of kids, and because we're in a burb these kids could not have done sports if someone (not necessarily me obviously) didn't take them places. You may not need this help but many do. Would those kids be in danger without? No, but it's certainly better than being home alone eating microwave food and playing video games and doing no sports. And I would never knock down parents for needing to work FT/outside the home...Just stop bashing people who do zero harm to you and actually do help others.

Nobody's bashing anyone else. Maybe we can all agree being a SAH parent is a lifestyle choice but not a job or a career.

You have no clue about each family and what extra care is needed for each kid (or not).

Also it is a Job and many many parents give up a great career to pursue this. So how about you stop stomping/bashing moms or Dads who choose to SAHP? Most of us are not just sitting around doing nothing. And no taking a 1 hour break to have coffee with a friend or go to the gym is not "doing nothing" any more than it is for a working parent (mom or dad) to go out to lunch at work with co-workers or to grab a quick drink at 4pm on Friday at the office happy hour. You learn when your kids are young (and you are not getting more than 3-4 hours of sleep at a time), that spending 1 hour a day for just you is important for mental health. You don't get the alone time in the car for the drive to work---until they go to ES (or at least PS) someone is always in the car with you. So if you think moms/dads who take that 1 hour are "doing nothing" you are really messed up



Honestly, you sound a tad bit jealous that you were not able to make that choice in your life.

That’s what all the dipshits say after their diatribe claiming a lifestyle choice is a career.

I couldn’t care less about working or not working, but stop justifying your decision by claiming it’s a job or a career.

I don’t even know why you would even want your family to view you in that way. It’s like you are the help, just around to handle the shit work.

you seem unhinged. I hope you can get the therapy and help you desperately need.

[Anonymous]

I wouldnt be thrilled. It's giving "user" vibes as my girls would say.

Realistically, I'd be extremely positive with my son about what a great woman he is pursuing and congratulate him on stepping it up to be a sole earner and breadwinner. Truly! If that's what he wants, well all is perfect. This "low to middling income" thing is a little concerning because I feel like this thread has been derailed by the 1.9million a year DH SAHM crowd and that is not reality for most of the world. SAHM with NO potential (shit career at almost 30 doesn't indicate potential) is not great.