Son marrying a woman with no career

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah. This brings back memories. Of the BF's dad and stepmom who warned him that I was "a nobody" who was "beautiful but going nowhere." The bf was selling houses (new home sales, didn't even have a realtor's license) for context.

I was trying to figure out what to do in my late 20s and was modeling a tiny bit (I never got much work, but got some) and cocktail waitressing in a club on weekends. After he broke up with me I ended up going to law school, have had an amazing career, and made a lot of money. He's now divorced from a woman he met at a Pizza Hut and has had a string of long-term GFs since, none of them particularly impressive career-wise. I follow it on FB and laugh.

My niece has been modeling since toddler-hood and at 27 owns a house in LA. No college. Straight A's from private school K-12. Her mom (my gorgeous sister) paid for that schooling with her cocktail waitressing job in Vegas. She has 160 college credits, 3.8GPA while working full-time but no degree.

Some people have no clue there are imaginative ways of life to be successful.

I don’t understand the comment.

Everyone knows you can become a multi millionaire as an actor, but less than 1% achieve that status.

Same for musicians, models and other similar professions. College doesn’t help you in any way in these professions, so nobody cares about it.

I will comment that rarely do successful artists want their kids to pursue the same path with no college. Hence why Paltrow’s kids are in college…Affleck’s kids…etc.

They realize how hard a business it is and how unique a person you need to be successful.

How in the EFF do you know why these actors’ kids are in college?
Maybe they are pursuing a degree in the performing arts or molecular . We know you the hell do not know.
Small , unimaginative minds cannot fathom not being a hamster 🐹 n a wheel working a job you hate making someone else rich just do your life looks good on paper.
If people are paying their own way in life and doing it legally mind the business that pays you,
Coward.

You sound a little off.

Affleck’s kid is at Yale and not studying the arts or music. Paltrow/Martin at Vanderbilt also not studying the arts.

You can have your fourth glass of wine now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.

It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!

Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.

Raising a family is a career.

+100
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career.

You need to look up what the word means.

I think raising a child is the most important role that one can take on.

It is not a career, however. And it is not a full time job for very long (unless you are really trying to milk it).

OT: I had 24 years between having first kid and sending final kid off to college. I'd call that a useful 24 years and yes it is full time, when you have a spouse who travels 1-2 weeks during the month and leaves for work at 7:30am and returns at 8pm.
So you do you and I'll do what works for our family.

How is it full time when your kids go to school from 9-3, and then once your kids are in middle and high school and don’t need you as much.

PP is correct…it’s important but not a career or a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah. This brings back memories. Of the BF's dad and stepmom who warned him that I was "a nobody" who was "beautiful but going nowhere." The bf was selling houses (new home sales, didn't even have a realtor's license) for context.

I was trying to figure out what to do in my late 20s and was modeling a tiny bit (I never got much work, but got some) and cocktail waitressing in a club on weekends. After he broke up with me I ended up going to law school, have had an amazing career, and made a lot of money. He's now divorced from a woman he met at a Pizza Hut and has had a string of long-term GFs since, none of them particularly impressive career-wise. I follow it on FB and laugh.

My niece has been modeling since toddler-hood and at 27 owns a house in LA. No college. Straight A's from private school K-12. Her mom (my gorgeous sister) paid for that schooling with her cocktail waitressing job in Vegas. She has 160 college credits, 3.8GPA while working full-time but no degree.

Some people have no clue there are imaginative ways of life to be successful.

I don’t understand the comment.

Everyone knows you can become a multi millionaire as an actor, but less than 1% achieve that status.

Same for musicians, models and other similar professions. College doesn’t help you in any way in these professions, so nobody cares about it.

I will comment that rarely do successful artists want their kids to pursue the same path with no college. Hence why Paltrow’s kids are in college…Affleck’s kids…etc.

They realize how hard a business it is and how unique a person you need to be successful.

How in the EFF do you know why these actors’ kids are in college?
Maybe they are pursuing a degree in the performing arts or molecular . We know you the hell do not know.
Small , unimaginative minds cannot fathom not being a hamster 🐹 n a wheel working a job you hate making someone else rich just do your life looks good on paper.
If people are paying their own way in life and doing it legally mind the business that pays you,
Coward.

You sound a little off.

Affleck’s kid is at Yale and not studying the arts or music. Paltrow/Martin at Vanderbilt also not studying the arts.

You can have your fourth glass of wine now.

So what ?

[Anonymous]

High earning doesn’t make you interesting or happy. Life experiences and having enough money not to worry can help. We’re fine if our kids try different things in their 20s. They know they need to be self-supporting. We know, ultimately, it will likely reduce their overall net worth.

We see them finding things they enjoy doing, learning transferable skills, and having experiences that will inform their understanding of the world.

Am I worried? Sure, because we worry about our kids in an unstable world. I see them building foundations for interesting, satisfying lives. Hoping the world around us settles down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would you feel about your son (who has a semi lucrative career but nothing crazy) marrying a woman who is college educated but makes close to minimum wage in her late 20’s? This is my son. She’s pretty and nice but has no career or money of her own. They’re both the same age.

Tell him to prepare to toil until he drops dead. She will stop working the remaining of his days the minute that pregnancy test pops positive. Probably demand 3-4 kids so "it would be too expensive to go back to work".

Her plan is man, which, in this case, is your son.

+1 I tell both my kids -- DS and DD-- that a man is not a plan.

I would seriously be worried for my DS in this situation. If the situation was reversed, everyone on here would call the underemployed man a bum.

-signed a mom

Wish someone would start a thread with DD with a lucrative career marrying a man making minimum wage to see the differences in response.

There was one of a high earning DD marrying a perpetual student.

[Anonymous]

My dad married a woman who made very little in her 20s (second marriage). He made okay money, nothing great. Fast forward 15 years and she’s the breadwinner. If she’s a good person, give her time and trust them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fine if she's a saver instead of a spender, and they get a prenup. I would not bring up the prenup more than once though.

I wouldn't bring it up at all.
For a late 20s/30 yo? Unless you come from family money or they already are worth 2M+, why do you want a prenup? It's up to the couple to figure out what arrangement works for them. If your son is happy with her career goals (or lack thereof) it's none of your business.

IMO if you go into a marriage telling one member "I don't think you are contributing enough and as such you are not entitled to any of my money, it's ALL MY MONEY unless you Earn it" I think you might as well separate and go your own ways now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.

It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!

Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.

Raising a family is a career.

+100
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career.

You need to look up what the word means.

I think raising a child is the most important role that one can take on.

It is not a career, however. And it is not a full time job for very long (unless you are really trying to milk it).

OT: I had 24 years between having first kid and sending final kid off to college. I'd call that a useful 24 years and yes it is full time, when you have a spouse who travels 1-2 weeks during the month and leaves for work at 7:30am and returns at 8pm.
So you do you and I'll do what works for our family.

How is it full time when your kids go to school from 9-3, and then once your kids are in middle and high school and don’t need you as much.

PP is correct…it’s important but not a career or a job.

When one was in ES, they started school at 9:20am, but the MS/HS started at 8am in MS and 7:20 in HS (Got the bus at 6:25am for HS and 7:30 for MS). And the HS was off by 2:10pm. So in reality I had about 4.5 hours to myself to get shit down without the kids before I did pickup of the HSer/MSer to get them to activities.
I tried to get all cleaning/shopping/meal prep done during those hours so that time in afternoon/evenings were for the kids, shuttling them around. That means our weekends were also not filled with required cleaning/getting stuff done so we could have quality family time together.

I did work PT once the youngest was in ES--10 to 15 hours/week teaching private music classes. So that filled a good portion as well.

But there is a lot to get done for the family/around the house during your 4.5 hours with no kids around. Also, yes, I preferred to/deserved to take 1-2 hours each day for "me time" and a sanity break of just reading a book or grabbing coffee with a friend or working out---general self care.

Also, until your kids can drive themselves around at 17, your 2-3pm pickup at MS/HS then leads to driving them around all evening.

For example: I never went more than 10 miles from home. Drove 120 miles in 6-7 hours one day starting with HS pickup. Shuttling the kids from one place to the next, then going to shuttle the other kid to next activity and so on. So yeah, when your afternoon and evenings are like that, you take your "me time" at 10am and get on the treadmill or take a class at the gym.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:High earning doesn’t make you interesting or happy. Life experiences and having enough money not to worry can help. We’re fine if our kids try different things in their 20s. They know they need to be self-supporting. We know, ultimately, it will likely reduce their overall net worth.

We see them finding things they enjoy doing, learning transferable skills, and having experiences that will inform their understanding of the world.

Am I worried? Sure, because we worry about our kids in an unstable world. I see them building foundations for interesting, satisfying lives. Hoping the world around us settles down.

The best we want for our kids is to be happy and self sufficient. I don't want them working a stressful career path that they don't enjoy just for the $$$. I want them to find something they enjoy that brings in enough money to live well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.

It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!

Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.

Raising a family is a career.

+100
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career.

You need to look up what the word means.

I think raising a child is the most important role that one can take on.

It is not a career, however. And it is not a full time job for very long (unless you are really trying to milk it).

OT: I had 24 years between having first kid and sending final kid off to college. I'd call that a useful 24 years and yes it is full time, when you have a spouse who travels 1-2 weeks during the month and leaves for work at 7:30am and returns at 8pm.
So you do you and I'll do what works for our family.

How is it full time when your kids go to school from 9-3, and then once your kids are in middle and high school and don’t need you as much.

PP is correct…it’s important but not a career or a job.

When one was in ES, they started school at 9:20am, but the MS/HS started at 8am in MS and 7:20 in HS (Got the bus at 6:25am for HS and 7:30 for MS). And the HS was off by 2:10pm. So in reality I had about 4.5 hours to myself to get shit down without the kids before I did pickup of the HSer/MSer to get them to activities.
I tried to get all cleaning/shopping/meal prep done during those hours so that time in afternoon/evenings were for the kids, shuttling them around. That means our weekends were also not filled with required cleaning/getting stuff done so we could have quality family time together.

I did work PT once the youngest was in ES--10 to 15 hours/week teaching private music classes. So that filled a good portion as well.

But there is a lot to get done for the family/around the house during your 4.5 hours with no kids around. Also, yes, I preferred to/deserved to take 1-2 hours each day for "me time" and a sanity break of just reading a book or grabbing coffee with a friend or working out---general self care.

Also, until your kids can drive themselves around at 17, your 2-3pm pickup at MS/HS then leads to driving them around all evening.

For example: I never went more than 10 miles from home. Drove 120 miles in 6-7 hours one day starting with HS pickup. Shuttling the kids from one place to the next, then going to shuttle the other kid to next activity and so on. So yeah, when your afternoon and evenings are like that, you take your "me time" at 10am and get on the treadmill or take a class at the gym.

Fine...so you admit it's not a FT job. I don't have any issue with a SAH parent and it can very well make financial sense.

I frankly don't understand having to drive the MS/HS kids around all afternoon/evening after school. My kids played travel sports and did outside school activities, but I guess you don't live close-in to the city (where kids could easily walk or take public transport to an activity) or carpool or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.

It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!

Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.

Raising a family is a career.

+100
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career.

You need to look up what the word means.

I think raising a child is the most important role that one can take on.

It is not a career, however. And it is not a full time job for very long (unless you are really trying to milk it).

OT: I had 24 years between having first kid and sending final kid off to college. I'd call that a useful 24 years and yes it is full time, when you have a spouse who travels 1-2 weeks during the month and leaves for work at 7:30am and returns at 8pm.
So you do you and I'll do what works for our family.

How is it full time when your kids go to school from 9-3, and then once your kids are in middle and high school and don’t need you as much.

PP is correct…it’s important but not a career or a job.

NP.

Why do you care? Is anyone holding a gun to your head to make you quit your job? No? Then mind your own business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.

It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!

Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.

Raising a family is a career.

+100
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career.

You need to look up what the word means.

I think raising a child is the most important role that one can take on.

It is not a career, however. And it is not a full time job for very long (unless you are really trying to milk it).

OT: I had 24 years between having first kid and sending final kid off to college. I'd call that a useful 24 years and yes it is full time, when you have a spouse who travels 1-2 weeks during the month and leaves for work at 7:30am and returns at 8pm.
So you do you and I'll do what works for our family.

How is it full time when your kids go to school from 9-3, and then once your kids are in middle and high school and don’t need you as much.

PP is correct…it’s important but not a career or a job.

When one was in ES, they started school at 9:20am, but the MS/HS started at 8am in MS and 7:20 in HS (Got the bus at 6:25am for HS and 7:30 for MS). And the HS was off by 2:10pm. So in reality I had about 4.5 hours to myself to get shit down without the kids before I did pickup of the HSer/MSer to get them to activities.
I tried to get all cleaning/shopping/meal prep done during those hours so that time in afternoon/evenings were for the kids, shuttling them around. That means our weekends were also not filled with required cleaning/getting stuff done so we could have quality family time together.

I did work PT once the youngest was in ES--10 to 15 hours/week teaching private music classes. So that filled a good portion as well.

But there is a lot to get done for the family/around the house during your 4.5 hours with no kids around. Also, yes, I preferred to/deserved to take 1-2 hours each day for "me time" and a sanity break of just reading a book or grabbing coffee with a friend or working out---general self care.

Also, until your kids can drive themselves around at 17, your 2-3pm pickup at MS/HS then leads to driving them around all evening.

For example: I never went more than 10 miles from home. Drove 120 miles in 6-7 hours one day starting with HS pickup. Shuttling the kids from one place to the next, then going to shuttle the other kid to next activity and so on. So yeah, when your afternoon and evenings are like that, you take your "me time" at 10am and get on the treadmill or take a class at the gym.

Fine...so you admit it's not a FT job. I don't have any issue with a SAH parent and it can very well make financial sense.

I frankly don't understand having to drive the MS/HS kids around all afternoon/evening after school. My kids played travel sports and did outside school activities, but I guess you don't live close-in to the city (where kids could easily walk or take public transport to an activity) or carpool or something.

I WAH but I think a lot of people take sah moms in their community for granted. Because I am home, my house is where kids without parents at home go. That was the same growing up with my mom. I have a kid now eating at my house several nights a week because his dad (single) works evenings. My kids do drive now, but they also drive other kids around. When they couldn't drive I'd drive a whole bunch of kids, and because we're in a burb these kids could not have done sports if someone (not necessarily me obviously) didn't take them places. You may not need this help but many do. Would those kids be in danger without? No, but it's certainly better than being home alone eating microwave food and playing video games and doing no sports. And I would never knock down parents for needing to work FT/outside the home...Just stop bashing people who do zero harm to you and actually do help others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.

It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!

Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.

Raising a family is a career.

+100
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career.

You need to look up what the word means.

I think raising a child is the most important role that one can take on.

It is not a career, however. And it is not a full time job for very long (unless you are really trying to milk it).

OT: I had 24 years between having first kid and sending final kid off to college. I'd call that a useful 24 years and yes it is full time, when you have a spouse who travels 1-2 weeks during the month and leaves for work at 7:30am and returns at 8pm.
So you do you and I'll do what works for our family.

How is it full time when your kids go to school from 9-3, and then once your kids are in middle and high school and don’t need you as much.

PP is correct…it’s important but not a career or a job.

When one was in ES, they started school at 9:20am, but the MS/HS started at 8am in MS and 7:20 in HS (Got the bus at 6:25am for HS and 7:30 for MS). And the HS was off by 2:10pm. So in reality I had about 4.5 hours to myself to get shit down without the kids before I did pickup of the HSer/MSer to get them to activities.
I tried to get all cleaning/shopping/meal prep done during those hours so that time in afternoon/evenings were for the kids, shuttling them around. That means our weekends were also not filled with required cleaning/getting stuff done so we could have quality family time together.

I did work PT once the youngest was in ES--10 to 15 hours/week teaching private music classes. So that filled a good portion as well.

But there is a lot to get done for the family/around the house during your 4.5 hours with no kids around. Also, yes, I preferred to/deserved to take 1-2 hours each day for "me time" and a sanity break of just reading a book or grabbing coffee with a friend or working out---general self care.

Also, until your kids can drive themselves around at 17, your 2-3pm pickup at MS/HS then leads to driving them around all evening.

For example: I never went more than 10 miles from home. Drove 120 miles in 6-7 hours one day starting with HS pickup. Shuttling the kids from one place to the next, then going to shuttle the other kid to next activity and so on. So yeah, when your afternoon and evenings are like that, you take your "me time" at 10am and get on the treadmill or take a class at the gym.

Fine...so you admit it's not a FT job. I don't have any issue with a SAH parent and it can very well make financial sense.

I frankly don't understand having to drive the MS/HS kids around all afternoon/evening after school. My kids played travel sports and did outside school activities, but I guess you don't live close-in to the city (where kids could easily walk or take public transport to an activity) or carpool or something.

I WAH but I think a lot of people take sah moms in their community for granted. Because I am home, my house is where kids without parents at home go. That was the same growing up with my mom. I have a kid now eating at my house several nights a week because his dad (single) works evenings. My kids do drive now, but they also drive other kids around. When they couldn't drive I'd drive a whole bunch of kids, and because we're in a burb these kids could not have done sports if someone (not necessarily me obviously) didn't take them places. You may not need this help but many do. Would those kids be in danger without? No, but it's certainly better than being home alone eating microwave food and playing video games and doing no sports. And I would never knock down parents for needing to work FT/outside the home...Just stop bashing people who do zero harm to you and actually do help others.

Nobody's bashing anyone else. Maybe we can all agree being a SAH parent is a lifestyle choice but not a job or a career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.

It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!

Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.

Raising a family is a career.

+100
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career.

You need to look up what the word means.

I think raising a child is the most important role that one can take on.

It is not a career, however. And it is not a full time job for very long (unless you are really trying to milk it).

OT: I had 24 years between having first kid and sending final kid off to college. I'd call that a useful 24 years and yes it is full time, when you have a spouse who travels 1-2 weeks during the month and leaves for work at 7:30am and returns at 8pm.
So you do you and I'll do what works for our family.

How is it full time when your kids go to school from 9-3, and then once your kids are in middle and high school and don’t need you as much.

PP is correct…it’s important but not a career or a job.

When one was in ES, they started school at 9:20am, but the MS/HS started at 8am in MS and 7:20 in HS (Got the bus at 6:25am for HS and 7:30 for MS). And the HS was off by 2:10pm. So in reality I had about 4.5 hours to myself to get shit down without the kids before I did pickup of the HSer/MSer to get them to activities.
I tried to get all cleaning/shopping/meal prep done during those hours so that time in afternoon/evenings were for the kids, shuttling them around. That means our weekends were also not filled with required cleaning/getting stuff done so we could have quality family time together.

I did work PT once the youngest was in ES--10 to 15 hours/week teaching private music classes. So that filled a good portion as well.

But there is a lot to get done for the family/around the house during your 4.5 hours with no kids around. Also, yes, I preferred to/deserved to take 1-2 hours each day for "me time" and a sanity break of just reading a book or grabbing coffee with a friend or working out---general self care.

Also, until your kids can drive themselves around at 17, your 2-3pm pickup at MS/HS then leads to driving them around all evening.

For example: I never went more than 10 miles from home. Drove 120 miles in 6-7 hours one day starting with HS pickup. Shuttling the kids from one place to the next, then going to shuttle the other kid to next activity and so on. So yeah, when your afternoon and evenings are like that, you take your "me time" at 10am and get on the treadmill or take a class at the gym.

Fine...so you admit it's not a FT job. I don't have any issue with a SAH parent and it can very well make financial sense.

I frankly don't understand having to drive the MS/HS kids around all afternoon/evening after school. My kids played travel sports and did outside school activities, but I guess you don't live close-in to the city (where kids could easily walk or take public transport to an activity) or carpool or something.

it's a full time job when your spouse leaves at 7:30 and and returns at 8pm or later, if they are not traveling. You don't get assistance with the kids after 6pm most nights until they are almost in bed (ES age at least). You are constantly on. So to reduce stress in our house, I stayed SAHP. I wasn't going to raise the stress levels in our home when I enjoyed being a SAHP and we didn't need the money.
Ironically, I was voted "most likely to succeed in HS" because I was one of the most driven students around. Went to a Top university, majored in 2 degrees (totally different degrees because I loved both and was top notch in both), got hired immediate after college, got paid to go to grad school, and had a top job after that. Got married continued that job, and switched paths once I had my first kid. Just decided I enjoyed being home with the kids when they were born and it worked for our family to stay that way.
MyPT job didn't really add any money. A our HHI, I was paying 50%+ of my income to taxes (federal, FICA, State)---as my income is all at the higher bracket when it's "extra". But when I became a SAHP I was making 6 figures (25 years ago), so I was on a good career path.

And no, we lived in the suburbs (was not going to live in Baltimore or DC proper). So yes, taking kids to tutoring (One kid had learning issues and required specialized tutoring) and their activities involved driving. is it required? Of course not, but my kids loved their upbringing and loved that they had a SAHP. And no, you can't carpool unless others at your school are doing the exact same activities at the same time (or at least if they live nearby---if you live 30 mins away, carpools dont really work well).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.

It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!

Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.

Raising a family is a career.

+100
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career.

You need to look up what the word means.

I think raising a child is the most important role that one can take on.

It is not a career, however. And it is not a full time job for very long (unless you are really trying to milk it).

OT: I had 24 years between having first kid and sending final kid off to college. I'd call that a useful 24 years and yes it is full time, when you have a spouse who travels 1-2 weeks during the month and leaves for work at 7:30am and returns at 8pm.
So you do you and I'll do what works for our family.

How is it full time when your kids go to school from 9-3, and then once your kids are in middle and high school and don’t need you as much.

PP is correct…it’s important but not a career or a job.

NP.

Why do you care? Is anyone holding a gun to your head to make you quit your job? No? Then mind your own business.

Thank you! Most likely they wish they could have worked PT or been a SAHP but chose not to (for financial or other reasons). Everyone should do what works best for them. At age 20, I never thought I'd have been a SAHP. But when kids arrive you change your mind and do what is best for you and your family---and if finances allow it, it makes the decision easier (because I knew my doing that wasn't depriving my kids of paid for college or anything else--I knew we were going to provide a great life for the kids)