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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.

It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal! [/quote]
Having less money is one thing.  Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.[/quote]

Raising a family is a career. [/quote]
+100 
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career. [/quote]

You need to look up what the word means.

I think raising a child is the most important role that one can take on.

It is not a career, however. And it is not a full time job for very long (unless you are really trying to milk it). [/quote]

OT: I had 24 years between having first kid and sending final kid off to college.  I'd call that a useful 24 years and yes it is full time, when you have a spouse who travels 1-2 weeks during the month and leaves for work at 7:30am and returns at 8pm.  
So you do you and I'll do what works for our family.

[/quote]

How is it full time when your kids go to school from 9-3, and then once your kids are in middle and high school and don’t need you as much.

PP is correct…it’s important but not a career or a job.[/quote]

When one was in ES, they started school at 9:20am, but the MS/HS started at 8am in MS and 7:20 in HS (Got the bus at 6:25am for HS and 7:30 for MS). And the HS was off by 2:10pm.   So in reality I had about 4.5 hours to myself to get shit down without the kids before I did pickup of the HSer/MSer to get them to activities.  
I tried to get all cleaning/shopping/meal prep done during those hours so that time in afternoon/evenings were for the kids, shuttling them around.  That means our weekends were also not filled with required cleaning/getting stuff done so we could have quality family time together.

I did work PT once the youngest was in ES--10 to 15 hours/week teaching private music classes.  So that filled a good portion as well.

But there is a lot to get done for the family/around the house during your 4.5 hours with no kids around.  Also, yes, I preferred to/deserved to take 1-2 hours each day for "me time" and a sanity break of just reading a book or grabbing coffee with a friend or working out---general self care.

Also, until your kids can drive themselves around at 17, your 2-3pm pickup at MS/HS then leads to driving them around all evening.

For example: I never went more than 10 miles from home.  Drove 120 miles in 6-7 hours one day starting with HS pickup.  Shuttling the kids from one place to the next, then going to shuttle the other kid to next activity and so on.  So yeah, when your afternoon and evenings are like that, you take your "me time" at 10am and get on the treadmill or take a class at the gym.

[/quote]

Fine...so you admit it's not a FT job.  I don't have any issue with a SAH parent and it can very well make financial sense.

I frankly don't understand having to drive the MS/HS kids around all afternoon/evening after school.  My kids played travel sports and did outside school activities, but I guess you don't live close-in to the city (where kids could easily walk or take public transport to an activity) or carpool or something.

[/quote]

it's a full time job when your spouse leaves at 7:30 and and returns at 8pm or later, if they are not traveling.  You don't get assistance with the kids after 6pm most nights until they are almost in bed (ES age at least).  You are constantly on.  So to reduce stress in our house, I stayed SAHP.  I wasn't going to raise the stress levels in our home when I enjoyed being a SAHP and we didn't need the money.  
Ironically, I was voted "most likely to succeed in HS" because I was one of the most driven students around.  Went to a Top university, majored in 2 degrees (totally different degrees because I loved both and was top notch in both), got hired immediate after college, got paid to go to grad school, and had a top job after that.  Got married continued that job, and switched paths once I had my first kid.  Just decided I enjoyed being home with the kids when they were born and it worked for our family to stay that way.  
MyPT job didn't really add any money. A our HHI, I was paying 50%+ of my income to taxes (federal, FICA, State)---as my income is all at the higher bracket when it's "extra". But when I became a SAHP I was making 6 figures (25 years ago), so I was on a good career path.

And no, we lived in the suburbs (was not going to live in Baltimore or DC proper).  So yes, taking kids to tutoring (One kid had learning issues and required specialized tutoring) and their activities involved driving.  is it required?  Of course not, but my kids loved their upbringing and loved that they had a SAHP.  And no, you can't carpool unless others at your school are doing the exact same activities at the same time (or at least if they live nearby---if you live 30 mins away, carpools dont really work well).

[/quote]

So WTF does this have to do with OP’s post about their kid marrying a late 20s minimum wage worker?

Your situation was nothing similar.

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