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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.

It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal! [/quote]
Having less money is one thing.  Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.[/quote]

Raising a family is a career. [/quote]
+100 
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career. [/quote]

You need to look up what the word means.

I think raising a child is the most important role that one can take on.

It is not a career, however. And it is not a full time job for very long (unless you are really trying to milk it). [/quote]

OT: I had 24 years between having first kid and sending final kid off to college.  I'd call that a useful 24 years and yes it is full time, when you have a spouse who travels 1-2 weeks during the month and leaves for work at 7:30am and returns at 8pm.  
So you do you and I'll do what works for our family.

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How is it full time when your kids go to school from 9-3, and then once your kids are in middle and high school and don’t need you as much.

PP is correct…it’s important but not a career or a job.[/quote]

When one was in ES, they started school at 9:20am, but the MS/HS started at 8am in MS and 7:20 in HS (Got the bus at 6:25am for HS and 7:30 for MS). And the HS was off by 2:10pm.   So in reality I had about 4.5 hours to myself to get shit down without the kids before I did pickup of the HSer/MSer to get them to activities.  
I tried to get all cleaning/shopping/meal prep done during those hours so that time in afternoon/evenings were for the kids, shuttling them around.  That means our weekends were also not filled with required cleaning/getting stuff done so we could have quality family time together.

I did work PT once the youngest was in ES--10 to 15 hours/week teaching private music classes.  So that filled a good portion as well.

But there is a lot to get done for the family/around the house during your 4.5 hours with no kids around.  Also, yes, I preferred to/deserved to take 1-2 hours each day for "me time" and a sanity break of just reading a book or grabbing coffee with a friend or working out---general self care.

Also, until your kids can drive themselves around at 17, your 2-3pm pickup at MS/HS then leads to driving them around all evening.

For example: I never went more than 10 miles from home.  Drove 120 miles in 6-7 hours one day starting with HS pickup.  Shuttling the kids from one place to the next, then going to shuttle the other kid to next activity and so on.  So yeah, when your afternoon and evenings are like that, you take your "me time" at 10am and get on the treadmill or take a class at the gym.

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Fine...so you admit it's not a FT job.  I don't have any issue with a SAH parent and it can very well make financial sense.

I frankly don't understand having to drive the MS/HS kids around all afternoon/evening after school.  My kids played travel sports and did outside school activities, but I guess you don't live close-in to the city (where kids could easily walk or take public transport to an activity) or carpool or something.

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I WAH but I think a lot of people take sah moms in their community for granted. Because I am home, my house is where kids without parents at home go. That was the same growing up with my mom. I have a kid now eating at my house several nights a week because his dad (single) works evenings. My kids do drive now, but they also drive other kids around. When they couldn't drive I'd drive a whole bunch of kids, and because we're in a burb these kids could not have done sports if someone (not necessarily me obviously) didn't take them places. You may not need this help but many do. Would those kids be in danger without? No, but it's certainly better than being home alone eating microwave food and playing video games and doing no sports. And I would never knock down parents for needing to work FT/outside the home...Just stop bashing people who do zero harm to you and actually do help others.[/quote]

I had one good friend transition back to work when my youngest was in 2nd grade.  Guess where her two ended up most days when it was a snow day/day off/late start/early dismissal (this was way before work from home was a thing really)---my place.  Just like you I was the place kids spent time, I shuttled other kids around as well.  Happy to do it for friends, but sometimes you do feel taken advantage of---if my friend had to travel, the kids were dropped at my house at 7am when the dad had to leave for work (he had a long commute and had to be at work at a specific time typically). I had several other friends who left their kids in similar circumstances---because child care simply doesn't exist for those one of situations (days off/late start) and the before school care programs at our ES had miles long wait lists (it could take you 3-4 years to get a spot and it was similar for the 2 programs nearby who ran a shuttle) so if you wanted to return to work, it was difficult to have coverage for those days or days when you had to be at work before 9:45 am (ES started at 9:20, you were not supposed to drop your kid before 9am)

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