Son marrying a woman with no career

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How would you feel about your son (who has a semi lucrative career but nothing crazy) marrying a woman who is college educated but makes close to minimum wage in her late 20’s? This is my son. She’s pretty and nice but has no career or money of her own. They’re both the same age.

Tell him to prepare to toil until he drops dead. She will stop working the remaining of his days the minute that pregnancy test pops positive. Probably demand 3-4 kids so "it would be too expensive to go back to work".

Her plan is man, which, in this case, is your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't really matter what you feel. Take those feelings and shove them all the way down so you don't express them, or you risk losing your relationship with your son.

+1 I'd be concerned if she was unemployed but someone working, just not making much in their 20s, I assume is still figuring things out. They can do that together.

[Anonymous]

The world needs teachers and social workers. You sound like a snob.

[Anonymous]

Is she nice, intelligent, and a hardworking person? That's all I'd need to know. If she's lazy and gives off mooch vibes, I'd be pretty unhappy but would probably keep my mouth shut.

[Anonymous]

I was making about that when I married DH at 27. I will never be a super high earner but, 20 years later, I am at the top of my chosen (not terribly lucrative but respected) profession, making about the same as DH. I don’t think your earnings at 27 can necessarily predict where you’ll be at, say, 40.

I’d be more concerned if she seemed like a big spender—that is almost impossible to out-earn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my daughter wanted to marry a career less guy in his late 20s making minimum wage…I would tell her the same thing I would tell your son. Their choice but while love might seem like all you need now, having a partner who can’t adult will wear you down in the long run.

This, all of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How would you feel about your son (who has a semi lucrative career but nothing crazy) marrying a woman who is college educated but makes close to minimum wage in her late 20’s? This is my son. She’s pretty and nice but has no career or money of her own. They’re both the same age.

Is she working a random job or one that pertains to her college major?

[Anonymous]

Some of you people are the absolute worst.

If your son loves her, and she's a good person- let them figure it out and be supportive.

Not everyone is old money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be upset and would talk to son about it (preferably way before they became close to getting engaged).

But if they get married, unfortunately, not much you can do but be supportive if you don't want to push them away.

These are adults. MYOB. If my parents talked about my fiance in any negative way, I would keep them at arms length!

This exactly. If you start to interfere, prepare to eventually be one of those MILs that women bemoan over on the Family Relationships forum.

[Anonymous]

OP, your son is not your man. Worry about your spouse and he will worry about his.

[Anonymous]

Plot twist OP's "son" is the daughter marrying a man earning minimum wage. Carry on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you people are the absolute worst.

If your son loves her, and she's a good person- let them figure it out and be supportive.

Not everyone is old money.

Who said anything about old money? Plus, old money likes to keep their women at home and not work.

This is about seeing the person and not the "potential." If this woman is almost 30, has a degree, and is still not working towards a profession, it is clear that her plan is to depend on other people, specifically the OP's son.

He needs to go into that with his eyes wide open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she nice, intelligent, and a hardworking person? That's all I'd need to know. If she's lazy and gives off mooch vibes, I'd be pretty unhappy but would probably keep my mouth shut.

+1. Her character and mental health are most important in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you people are the absolute worst.

If your son loves her, and she's a good person- let them figure it out and be supportive.

Not everyone is old money.

Who said anything about old money? Plus, old money likes to keep their women at home and not work.

This is about seeing the person and not the "potential." If this woman is almost 30, has a degree, and is still not working towards a profession, it is clear that her plan is to depend on other people, specifically the OP's son.

He needs to go into that with his eyes wide open.

And you don't think the guy hasnt figured that out? And ultimately decided to spend his life with her??

Again people- stop being gross.

[Anonymous]

If she cooks and cleans and exercises and volunteers and is good with babies and kids, she'll make a great SAHM.

If she does a lot of makeup and dress up and partying and ordering takeout and keeps her home sloppy, then she's a rental.