For those of you whose parents divorced when you were 20+, if one of your parents started a second

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I detest my dad & his second wife. They’re raising their kids in my childhood home. His daughter’s bedroom is mine.

Your sister you mean??
You are an a*@.
Maybe he got the daughter he wanted

HAHA not my sister. I have a real sister, thankfully. And she’s pissed, too.

[Anonymous]

All these 2nd wives have no idea that if they die 1st their money will go to the adult children from his 1st marriage and only a portion will go to their own child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All these 2nd wives have no idea that if they die 1st their money will go to the adult children from his 1st marriage and only a portion will go to their own child.

Why would you assume that?

[Anonymous]

My “stepmom” is younger than I am. She has zero authority over me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many spoiled grownup kids here. Make your own money, and be happy that your father has a new family! Happy for your father!

What’s it like being a trophy wife?

So far so good, wait, actually I am not the trophy wife, I have a trophy wife…. That is not the point, the point here is young people should work hard to make a living, and be grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these 2nd wives have no idea that if they die 1st their money will go to the adult children from his 1st marriage and only a portion will go to their own child.

Why would you assume that?

so you are cool with your retirement going to his kids if you die early due to cancer. All that money goes to your H, then passes to all his heirs.

That is what you want for your child? To share the money you earned your whole life to go to kids from his 1st marriage?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Always feel relieved that my husband and I both agreed to get fixed when we had our last kid. No matter what happens our kids will not be second fiddle.

My spouse and I agree our two kids are the only ones we want. And it’s laughable to us the men that start an entirely family once their first set of kids reach college. Ohmygod hell no! We are 3 years to empty nest and have all kinds of trips and fun plans lined up. He also got a vasectomy.

Blended family drama - no thanks. And having to go back to preschool, and teacher conferences and kids sports and busy weekends and worry …no way!

So, you think its ok women move on and get remarried and have more kids but men should just stay divorced and hand over their entire check to their ex?

Not to their ex, to their kids. The kids should not have their dads estate diluted by your kids.

No one is entitled to inheritance.

Exactly why the 2nd wife should not expect to get it.

Who says we want it?

Good we agree, you should not get it.

You should also start working stop collecting alimony and start saving for your kids inheritance. Instead of using men as a pay check

I actually have always made more money than my ex. Our money is in a trust and my ex can’t get it out without my say so.

I don’t think he’s stupid enough to take on a dependent 2nd wife.

I suspect if he’s stupid enough to remarry she wouldn’t be a slug who expected money from my family trust.

Good God! Second wives are slugs are they lol i have a career and don't take a dime from DH.
Seems to me from this thread these poor men WERE
Married to 'slugs' and now their baby slugs are crying about inheritance

Glad we agree his inheritance goes to his kids when he dies since you are not a slug and you don’t need it.

Exactly goes to all kids...not just your greedy baby slugs crying about daddy's money

You and he can create an inheritance if you want for your slug. My kids get all the money in our trust during our marriage.

Come on slug I had him during the low earning years… you can do this without your slug getting our money.

There was no money during the marriage. If she wanted his money, she shouldn't have cheated and stayed married to him. Simple.

This

We aren’t talking about ex cheating wives.

We are talking about his kids.

Do you punish the kids because she cheated? Nice

You aren't punishing kids by not leaving them an inheritance. Maybe all the money is the new wife's. Ever consider that?

You are not entitled to an inhertance.

And, yes, cheating wives has a huge impact.

We aren’t talking about the new wife’s money we are talking about the dad’s inheritance.

2nd wives can have a more negative impact, don’t be that person.

You understand that some marriages are long-term. We have been married for twice as long as he was married to his ex now so our money in mixed. There is no his/my money and its our money. We only kept our money separate when he paid child support as his ex filed in court expecting me to pay her child support (thankfully the judge threw that demand out).

So, what you are saying is I could be married for 40 years to my husband but the day he dies, 100% of our money should go to his kids, and not me and our kids. Sure, ok.

I hope you’ve thought this through and your accounts and assets are properly titled as joint tenants with rights of survivorship. Or you keep half of the money in an account in only your name.

They are. And, we have both of those things. But, thanks for the advice. I have money in my name only, especially money I had prior to marriage.

I honestly cannot imagine the kids demanding anything at this point. I think his ex will be the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many spoiled grownup kids here. Make your own money, and be happy that your father has a new family! Happy for your father!

What’s it like being a trophy wife?

So far so good, wait, actually I am not the trophy wife, I have a trophy wife…. That is not the point, the point here is young people should work hard to make a living, and be grateful.

So why didn't your wife do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these 2nd wives have no idea that if they die 1st their money will go to the adult children from his 1st marriage and only a portion will go to their own child.

Why would you assume that?

so you are cool with your retirement going to his kids if you die early due to cancer. All that money goes to your H, then passes to all his heirs.

That is what you want for your child? To share the money you earned your whole life to go to kids from his 1st marriage?

With retirement accounts, you set who they will go to. So, if your husband decides they go to the first kids, that's his choice. Ours are set up where they go to the spouse, then our kids if both of us die. Simple. If there are minor kids, the money should be used to care for all minor kids first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many spoiled grownup kids here. Make your own money, and be happy that your father has a new family! Happy for your father!

What’s it like being a trophy wife?

So far so good, wait, actually I am not the trophy wife, I have a trophy wife…. That is not the point, the point here is young people should work hard to make a living, and be grateful.

So why didn't your wife do that.

How do you know his current wife doesn't work? How do you know his ex-wife works and isn't getting child support and alimony while living with her AP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these 2nd wives have no idea that if they die 1st their money will go to the adult children from his 1st marriage and only a portion will go to their own child.

Why would you assume that?

so you are cool with your retirement going to his kids if you die early due to cancer. All that money goes to your H, then passes to all his heirs.

That is what you want for your child? To share the money you earned your whole life to go to kids from his 1st marriage?

I have an estate plan. 66% goes into a self executing trust for my kids and 33% goes to my spouse. I sought legal help before we ever got married. My brother not my spouse is the executor of my trust for my kids. DH pays for our lifestyle though I also work. If he was saddled with lifetime alimony I never would have married him. If he stops being an attentive husband and father I’m out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these 2nd wives have no idea that if they die 1st their money will go to the adult children from his 1st marriage and only a portion will go to their own child.

Why would you assume that?

so you are cool with your retirement going to his kids if you die early due to cancer. All that money goes to your H, then passes to all his heirs.

That is what you want for your child? To share the money you earned your whole life to go to kids from his 1st marriage?

With retirement accounts, you set who they will go to. So, if your husband decides they go to the first kids, that's his choice. Ours are set up where they go to the spouse, then our kids if both of us die. Simple. If there are minor kids, the money should be used to care for all minor kids first.

If you die your retirement goes to your husband.

So you cut his kids out of the inheritance of his money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these 2nd wives have no idea that if they die 1st their money will go to the adult children from his 1st marriage and only a portion will go to their own child.

Why would you assume that?

so you are cool with your retirement going to his kids if you die early due to cancer. All that money goes to your H, then passes to all his heirs.

That is what you want for your child? To share the money you earned your whole life to go to kids from his 1st marriage?

I have an estate plan. 66% goes into a self executing trust for my kids and 33% goes to my spouse. I sought legal help before we ever got married. My brother not my spouse is the executor of my trust for my kids. DH pays for our lifestyle though I also work. If he was saddled with lifetime alimony I never would have married him. If he stops being an attentive husband and father I’m out.

So your money goes to your kids and his money goes to all his kids.

That is exactly what people are saying.

The adult children should still get a portion of the h’s inheritance.

So if he dies, he did the same 66% goes to the kids and 30% to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these 2nd wives have no idea that if they die 1st their money will go to the adult children from his 1st marriage and only a portion will go to their own child.

Why would you assume that?

so you are cool with your retirement going to his kids if you die early due to cancer. All that money goes to your H, then passes to all his heirs.

That is what you want for your child? To share the money you earned your whole life to go to kids from his 1st marriage?

I have an estate plan. 66% goes into a self executing trust for my kids and 33% goes to my spouse. I sought legal help before we ever got married. My brother not my spouse is the executor of my trust for my kids. DH pays for our lifestyle though I also work. If he was saddled with lifetime alimony I never would have married him. If he stops being an attentive husband and father I’m out.

So your money goes to your kids and his money goes to all his kids.

That is exactly what people are saying.

The adult children should still get a portion of the h’s inheritance.

So if he dies, he did the same 66% goes to the kids and 30% to you?

I assume if he dies in that scenario the 66% would be divided among all his kids from both marriages, plus I would hope it would be less than 66% as we have young kids I need to raise and put through college. No matter what he does, I’ll be okay as I save all my earned income between my 401k, kids college accounts, and my brokerage account. It has to be this way. I have young kids and marrying him was a big risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these 2nd wives have no idea that if they die 1st their money will go to the adult children from his 1st marriage and only a portion will go to their own child.

Why would you assume that?

so you are cool with your retirement going to his kids if you die early due to cancer. All that money goes to your H, then passes to all his heirs.

That is what you want for your child? To share the money you earned your whole life to go to kids from his 1st marriage?

I have an estate plan. 66% goes into a self executing trust for my kids and 33% goes to my spouse. I sought legal help before we ever got married. My brother not my spouse is the executor of my trust for my kids. DH pays for our lifestyle though I also work. If he was saddled with lifetime alimony I never would have married him. If he stops being an attentive husband and father I’m out.

So your money goes to your kids and his money goes to all his kids.

That is exactly what people are saying.

The adult children should still get a portion of the h’s inheritance.

So if he dies, he did the same 66% goes to the kids and 30% to you?

I assume if he dies in that scenario the 66% would be divided among all his kids from both marriages, plus I would hope it would be less than 66% as we have young kids I need to raise and put through college. No matter what he does, I’ll be okay as I save all my earned income between my 401k, kids college accounts, and my brokerage account. It has to be this way. I have young kids and marrying him was a big risk.

You should have a life insurance policy to help raise your children. Have you not done that?