S/O How do you justify having an affair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ABC cared because their employees and America cared. I mean if you don’t care what others think just keep doing you without trying to justify lying and sneaking around. I mean if you don’t care, why are you hiding in the shadows? Is it because whoever you are banging doesn’t want anyone to see you? Are you that hideous? I mean, why not just tell the guy’s wife? It doesn’t matter right? Or are you afraid to do that because he will dump you and call you a psycho? I guess I don’t understand people that can’t find D that is available.

Its often about the lifestyle and money, as PP noted. My exH AP was his direct subordinate at work, dependent on him with her salary, consulting contracts and so on. It happens more often than you think: married men don't get laid for free

I can assure you they get laid for free.

Then why do so many men pay for sex? Paying to be able to leave, as the comedy joke says?

Yes. They want someone who won’t cause problems or have emotional entanglements. Many men see this as more ethical than an affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s always about $. My ex had an AP that thought she was going to be taken care of. She didn’t work and her husband wasn’t a high earner. She saw out lifestyle and thought it was her ticket to the good life. Joke was on her when she blew up her marriage only after finding out all the $ came from me. And, then when it was out in the open he didn’t want to be with her anyway. Last I heard was she had to get some minimum wage service job.

I was a long term AP and did not care about or want his $. I loved him. Would have been fine with him giving his wife everything (which IMO she deserved under the circumstances) and starting over in whatever situation that meant. Probably moving to a LOCL area like a college town. I work and do okay enough for myself & whatever he could make before aging out would have been a bonus. They had a great life that she deserved to keep. Except that her DH was an incorrigible cheater.

Why would you want to live this way? I just don't get it.

I didn’t and eventually left him. It was an unusual situation. We became emotionally close in a legitimate professional relationship before the physical part started so I was already emotionally dependent on him. Separating was very painful. I loved him deeply (but no longer allow myself to) but wouldn’t do it again. My situation does not matter. It was only to say that it’s not always about the money, although I’m sure that was a consideration for him.

“Close in a legitimate professional relationship”… he was your boss, wasn’t he?

[Anonymous]

No he was not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s always about $. My ex had an AP that thought she was going to be taken care of. She didn’t work and her husband wasn’t a high earner. She saw out lifestyle and thought it was her ticket to the good life. Joke was on her when she blew up her marriage only after finding out all the $ came from me. And, then when it was out in the open he didn’t want to be with her anyway. Last I heard was she had to get some minimum wage service job.

I was a long term AP and did not care about or want his $. I loved him. Would have been fine with him giving his wife everything (which IMO she deserved under the circumstances) and starting over in whatever situation that meant. Probably moving to a LOCL area like a college town. I work and do okay enough for myself & whatever he could make before aging out would have been a bonus. They had a great life that she deserved to keep. Except that her DH was an incorrigible cheater.

Why would you want to live this way? I just don't get it.

I love how she thinks she is so kind and benevolent towards the wife😅 letting her keep HER OWN things/$ while she moves with the husband to a college town. Talk about strings. Man, what a fantasy world she created in her mind. And she admits the guy was an “incorrigible cheater”. It goes to show how all these ow harbor ill-will and want to end marriages. Though this one thinks she’s not so bad because instead of wishing death or a terminal illness on the wife she lets her keep everything while she rides off into the sunset with her husband. Such an active imagination. And, the wife has no idea she is a starring character or that ow even exists. It’s creepy AF.

Some real whack jobs.

I found that the most unsettling- that some woman was fixated on me like that and scouring the internet (and his phone when ex left it around) to find info about me for years that I didn’t know she existed. Someone praying for you to fail or harm to come to you, just an obstacle they need to remove. It’s like you had an arrow on your back or some psycho beatch was out there putting pins in a voodoo doll. Someone blowing negative energy your way and dissecting you with her girlfriends. Creepy AF, indeed. And I was so pissed, as a person that values privacy, that my kids and I were potentially exposed to a bunny burner and some crazy beatch knew anything about my kids and me.

[Anonymous]

^DP. I spoke to OP and what was disturbing is she acted like she knew me or anything about my life. I just literally found out about this person and she is addressing me by my name and speaking as if she was an intimate friend. Beatch- keep my name out of your g-damn mouth !!

It felt crazy. She was crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^DP. I spoke to OP and what was disturbing is she acted like she knew me or anything about my life. I just literally found out about this person and she is addressing me by my name and speaking as if she was an intimate friend. Beatch- keep my name out of your g-damn mouth !!

It felt crazy. She was crazy.

*Ow, not OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s always about $. My ex had an AP that thought she was going to be taken care of. She didn’t work and her husband wasn’t a high earner. She saw out lifestyle and thought it was her ticket to the good life. Joke was on her when she blew up her marriage only after finding out all the $ came from me. And, then when it was out in the open he didn’t want to be with her anyway. Last I heard was she had to get some minimum wage service job.

I was a long term AP and did not care about or want his $. I loved him. Would have been fine with him giving his wife everything (which IMO she deserved under the circumstances) and starting over in whatever situation that meant. Probably moving to a LOCL area like a college town. I work and do okay enough for myself & whatever he could make before aging out would have been a bonus. They had a great life that she deserved to keep. Except that her DH was an incorrigible cheater.

Why would you want to live this way? I just don't get it.

I love how she thinks she is so kind and benevolent towards the wife😅 letting her keep HER OWN things/$ while she moves with the husband to a college town. Talk about strings. Man, what a fantasy world she created in her mind. And she admits the guy was an “incorrigible cheater”. It goes to show how all these ow harbor ill-will and want to end marriages. Though this one thinks she’s not so bad because instead of wishing death or a terminal illness on the wife she lets her keep everything while she rides off into the sunset with her husband. Such an active imagination. And, the wife has no idea she is a starring character or that ow even exists. It’s creepy AF.

Some real whack jobs.

I found that the most unsettling- that some woman was fixated on me like that and scouring the internet (and his phone when ex left it around) to find info about me for years that I didn’t know she existed. Someone praying for you to fail or harm to come to you, just an obstacle they need to remove. It’s like you had an arrow on your back or some psycho beatch was out there putting pins in a voodoo doll. Someone blowing negative energy your way and dissecting you with her girlfriends. Creepy AF, indeed. And I was so pissed, as a person that values privacy, that my kids and I were potentially exposed to a bunny burner and some crazy beatch knew anything about my kids and me.

You seem just as crazy. You are the one who married a guy who sought after a woman like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^DP. I spoke to OP and what was disturbing is she acted like she knew me or anything about my life. I just literally found out about this person and she is addressing me by my name and speaking as if she was an intimate friend. Beatch- keep my name out of your g-damn mouth !!

It felt crazy. She was crazy.

Presumably she does bc your DH must have told her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s always about $. My ex had an AP that thought she was going to be taken care of. She didn’t work and her husband wasn’t a high earner. She saw out lifestyle and thought it was her ticket to the good life. Joke was on her when she blew up her marriage only after finding out all the $ came from me. And, then when it was out in the open he didn’t want to be with her anyway. Last I heard was she had to get some minimum wage service job.

I was a long term AP and did not care about or want his $. I loved him. Would have been fine with him giving his wife everything (which IMO she deserved under the circumstances) and starting over in whatever situation that meant. Probably moving to a LOCL area like a college town. I work and do okay enough for myself & whatever he could make before aging out would have been a bonus. They had a great life that she deserved to keep. Except that her DH was an incorrigible cheater.

Why would you want to live this way? I just don't get it.

I love how she thinks she is so kind and benevolent towards the wife😅 letting her keep HER OWN things/$ while she moves with the husband to a college town. Talk about strings. Man, what a fantasy world she created in her mind. And she admits the guy was an “incorrigible cheater”. It goes to show how all these ow harbor ill-will and want to end marriages. Though this one thinks she’s not so bad because instead of wishing death or a terminal illness on the wife she lets her keep everything while she rides off into the sunset with her husband. Such an active imagination. And, the wife has no idea she is a starring character or that ow even exists. It’s creepy AF.

Some real whack jobs.

I found that the most unsettling- that some woman was fixated on me like that and scouring the internet (and his phone when ex left it around) to find info about me for years that I didn’t know she existed. Someone praying for you to fail or harm to come to you, just an obstacle they need to remove. It’s like you had an arrow on your back or some psycho beatch was out there putting pins in a voodoo doll. Someone blowing negative energy your way and dissecting you with her girlfriends. Creepy AF, indeed. And I was so pissed, as a person that values privacy, that my kids and I were potentially exposed to a bunny burner and some crazy beatch knew anything about my kids and me.

You seem just as crazy. You are the one who married a guy who sought after a woman like this.

NP. There is something really wrong with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s always about $. My ex had an AP that thought she was going to be taken care of. She didn’t work and her husband wasn’t a high earner. She saw out lifestyle and thought it was her ticket to the good life. Joke was on her when she blew up her marriage only after finding out all the $ came from me. And, then when it was out in the open he didn’t want to be with her anyway. Last I heard was she had to get some minimum wage service job.

I was a long term AP and did not care about or want his $. I loved him. Would have been fine with him giving his wife everything (which IMO she deserved under the circumstances) and starting over in whatever situation that meant. Probably moving to a LOCL area like a college town. I work and do okay enough for myself & whatever he could make before aging out would have been a bonus. They had a great life that she deserved to keep. Except that her DH was an incorrigible cheater.

Why would you want to live this way? I just don't get it.

I love how she thinks she is so kind and benevolent towards the wife😅 letting her keep HER OWN things/$ while she moves with the husband to a college town. Talk about strings. Man, what a fantasy world she created in her mind. And she admits the guy was an “incorrigible cheater”. It goes to show how all these ow harbor ill-will and want to end marriages. Though this one thinks she’s not so bad because instead of wishing death or a terminal illness on the wife she lets her keep everything while she rides off into the sunset with her husband. Such an active imagination. And, the wife has no idea she is a starring character or that ow even exists. It’s creepy AF.

Some real whack jobs.

I found that the most unsettling- that some woman was fixated on me like that and scouring the internet (and his phone when ex left it around) to find info about me for years that I didn’t know she existed. Someone praying for you to fail or harm to come to you, just an obstacle they need to remove. It’s like you had an arrow on your back or some psycho beatch was out there putting pins in a voodoo doll. Someone blowing negative energy your way and dissecting you with her girlfriends. Creepy AF, indeed. And I was so pissed, as a person that values privacy, that my kids and I were potentially exposed to a bunny burner and some crazy beatch knew anything about my kids and me.

Sounds like you’re the one with the overactive imagination. Can’t speak for your situation but in mine, the wife knew. It never occurred to me to wish her harm. I never did anything crazy and I guess he judged correctly that I wouldn’t. Anyway did not come here to say this. Only that it’s not always about the money. People can’t see past their rage, understandably, so there’s probably no point in saying anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^DP. I spoke to OP and what was disturbing is she acted like she knew me or anything about my life. I just literally found out about this person and she is addressing me by my name and speaking as if she was an intimate friend. Beatch- keep my name out of your g-damn mouth !!

It felt crazy. She was crazy.

Presumably she does bc your DH must have told her.

No! That’s just it. The info she thought she knew wasn’t even correct. It was so weird. She thought she knew. Then it would be maybe a name she heard but none of went with the name. He obviously was feeding her crap or she could only find out spotty stuff since I have very little presence on the internet. She was trying to act like she knew all of this stuff about me/my family/our past/my friends, but NONE of it was correct.

[Anonymous]

That’s very strange that she would want to talk about what she thinks is your life at all. Or that you would. Why were you talking to her anyway? What on earth was there to say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ABC cared because their employees and America cared. I mean if you don’t care what others think just keep doing you without trying to justify lying and sneaking around. I mean if you don’t care, why are you hiding in the shadows? Is it because whoever you are banging doesn’t want anyone to see you? Are you that hideous? I mean, why not just tell the guy’s wife? It doesn’t matter right? Or are you afraid to do that because he will dump you and call you a psycho? I guess I don’t understand people that can’t find D that is available.

Its often about the lifestyle and money, as PP noted. My exH AP was his direct subordinate at work, dependent on him with her salary, consulting contracts and so on. It happens more often than you think: married men don't get laid for free

I can assure you they get laid for free.

Then why do so many men pay for sex? Paying to be able to leave, as the comedy joke says?

Yes. They want someone who won’t cause problems or have emotional entanglements. Many men see this as more ethical than an affair.

They're also less likely to get caught. A professional is much more likely to keep her mouth shut and not have any contact with your social or work circle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ABC cared because their employees and America cared. I mean if you don’t care what others think just keep doing you without trying to justify lying and sneaking around. I mean if you don’t care, why are you hiding in the shadows? Is it because whoever you are banging doesn’t want anyone to see you? Are you that hideous? I mean, why not just tell the guy’s wife? It doesn’t matter right? Or are you afraid to do that because he will dump you and call you a psycho? I guess I don’t understand people that can’t find D that is available.

Its often about the lifestyle and money, as PP noted. My exH AP was his direct subordinate at work, dependent on him with her salary, consulting contracts and so on. It happens more often than you think: married men don't get laid for free

I can assure you they get laid for free.

Then why do so many men pay for sex? Paying to be able to leave, as the comedy joke says?

Yes. They want someone who won’t cause problems or have emotional entanglements. Many men see this as more ethical than an affair.

They're also less likely to get caught. A professional is much more likely to keep her mouth shut and not have any contact with your social or work circle.

Honestly I agree with this perspective. Much better a pro than a love affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ABC cared because their employees and America cared. I mean if you don’t care what others think just keep doing you without trying to justify lying and sneaking around. I mean if you don’t care, why are you hiding in the shadows? Is it because whoever you are banging doesn’t want anyone to see you? Are you that hideous? I mean, why not just tell the guy’s wife? It doesn’t matter right? Or are you afraid to do that because he will dump you and call you a psycho? I guess I don’t understand people that can’t find D that is available.

Its often about the lifestyle and money, as PP noted. My exH AP was his direct subordinate at work, dependent on him with her salary, consulting contracts and so on. It happens more often than you think: married men don't get laid for free

I can assure you they get laid for free.

Then why do so many men pay for sex? Paying to be able to leave, as the comedy joke says?

Yes. They want someone who won’t cause problems or have emotional entanglements. Many men see this as more ethical than an affair.

They're also less likely to get caught. A professional is much more likely to keep her mouth shut and not have any contact with your social or work circle.

Honestly I agree with this perspective. Much better a pro than a love affair.

Agree. But the men that don't want to pay (because it ain't cheap) and don't want spouse to find out--settle for a married woman thinking she has too much to lose to tell. But--that is where it gets messy. They are looking for exit affairs and think it means more, then he has to lie to keep it going--kick the can down the road. Then-they wish they had just paid in the first place as it gets way too complicated to easily get out of. The fear of her getting mad and telling the wife.