If you are divorced and will never remarry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A big reason not to remarry in your 50's is your kids and grand-kids. My dad remarried in his early 50's. Yes he had his will/trust in place. However, those can be changed at anytime. She was younger and as his health changed he ended up putting her on all titles. I'm sure pressure from her, and again she was his only caretaker since we lived out of state. A major asset that was suppose to go to the kids all ended up with her after he died. In fact everything did except for a small life insurance policy she didn't know about. As in very small. I feel like a lot of people need to put their blood first before a outsider. She ended up with assets that were our mother's and father which is very sad, but quite common with second marriages.

But did she actually take care of him? Did you? She was his WIFE. You sound entitled and immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorced at 41, 51 now. I wanted to remarry back then but over the past decade I have become ambivalent about it and at this point not sure I want to tangle my finances up with someone else. Have a longtime SO and we live separately and it works just fine.

Not sure if this is a man or woman, but I agree completely with their statement. I'm not interested in tangling up my stuff with her stuff.

- Man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It should be required reading for ANYONE contemplating marriage.

IMHO marriage is almost always a mistake. Love does not last. Physical desire does not last. And people are inherently selfish. And society no longer creates the pressure to stay married, to not be an adulterer, to remain responsible for your children, etc. etc.

I do think that gender roles have not changed the way economics have. Marriage is usually a raw deal for the woman. She works, takes care of the home and children, and is expected to keep her husband happy too, whether that means sex, meals, chores, whatever.

Men seem to feel entitled to maybe mow the lawn on Saturday morning then spend the rest of the weekend on the couch with a beer watching football while the wife takes care of the kids, the laundry, the meals, shopping, dishes.... The unfairness breeds resentment and that is poison to a relationship.

100% agree. Woman here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A big reason not to remarry in your 50's is your kids and grand-kids. My dad remarried in his early 50's. Yes he had his will/trust in place. However, those can be changed at anytime. She was younger and as his health changed he ended up putting her on all titles. I'm sure pressure from her, and again she was his only caretaker since we lived out of state. A major asset that was suppose to go to the kids all ended up with her after he died. In fact everything did except for a small life insurance policy she didn't know about. As in very small. I feel like a lot of people need to put their blood first before a outsider. She ended up with assets that were our mother's and father which is very sad, but quite common with second marriages.

But did she actually take care of him? Did you? She was his WIFE. You sound entitled and immature.

She married another person. She didn't win the lottery. No reason why she should keep the beach house or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You folks who “have your own retirement” and will never remarry, just curious what is your income and net worth?

F, 45. Income 400k, NW 12.7m (trust fund involved).

How can there be so many DCUM posters in the top 1% of wealth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You folks who “have your own retirement” and will never remarry, just curious what is your income and net worth?

F, 45. Income 400k, NW 12.7m (trust fund involved).

How can there be so many DCUM posters in the top 1% of wealth?

Exactly! Real rich people have better things to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A big reason not to remarry in your 50's is your kids and grand-kids. My dad remarried in his early 50's. Yes he had his will/trust in place. However, those can be changed at anytime. She was younger and as his health changed he ended up putting her on all titles. I'm sure pressure from her, and again she was his only caretaker since we lived out of state. A major asset that was suppose to go to the kids all ended up with her after he died. In fact everything did except for a small life insurance policy she didn't know about. As in very small. I feel like a lot of people need to put their blood first before a outsider. She ended up with assets that were our mother's and father which is very sad, but quite common with second marriages.

But did she actually take care of him? Did you? She was his WIFE. You sound entitled and immature.

She married another person. She didn't win the lottery. No reason why she should keep the beach house or whatever.

Then take care of him yourself. Oh wait, that’s too inconvenient. You wanted a caretaker you didn’t have to be accountable or fair to. Sorry but your dad gets to have his own life and you are a spoiled entitled brat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A big reason not to remarry in your 50's is your kids and grand-kids. My dad remarried in his early 50's. Yes he had his will/trust in place. However, those can be changed at anytime. She was younger and as his health changed he ended up putting her on all titles. I'm sure pressure from her, and again she was his only caretaker since we lived out of state. A major asset that was suppose to go to the kids all ended up with her after he died. In fact everything did except for a small life insurance policy she didn't know about. As in very small. I feel like a lot of people need to put their blood first before a outsider. She ended up with assets that were our mother's and father which is very sad, but quite common with second marriages.

But did she actually take care of him? Did you? She was his WIFE. You sound entitled and immature.

She married another person. She didn't win the lottery. No reason why she should keep the beach house or whatever.

Lol but you did (win the lottery) bc two people had sex and someone shot you out of their vagina? Look in the mirror, gold digger. That ain’t your money it’s his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It should be required reading for ANYONE contemplating marriage.
Men seem to feel entitled to maybe mow the lawn on Saturday morning then spend the rest of the weekend on the couch with a beer watching football while the wife takes care of the kids, the laundry, the meals, shopping, dishes.... The unfairness breeds resentment and that is poison to a relationship.

Man here. I'd rather do the laundry for a year, rather than mow the lawn once (I have 1/3 of an acre). This is an example of women being out of touch with reality. Mowing is hot, dirty, loud, and dangerous. And it's not just the mowing, it's the maintenance and repair of the mower.

I've been doing laundry as a 50-50 dad for nearly a decade. It's about the easiest household chore. Yes, I fold all the laundry, and iron a few things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You folks who “have your own retirement” and will never remarry, just curious what is your income and net worth?

F, 45. Income 400k, NW 12.7m (trust fund involved).

How can there be so many DCUM posters in the top 1% of wealth?

Exactly! Real rich people have better things to do.

Like what? I love DCUM at times like now, sitting at my desk with downtime from work. I make 400k the easy way, in sales, so its not like I'm some harried big law striver. I have a nice little set up, free time 35% of the time when the kids see their Dad, and no incapable man tying up a lot of my time with his needs. My life is easy, and enjoyable. I love meeting men who can share in that, for a time, and perhaps introduce me to what is great in their world. Its fun, and exciting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A big reason not to remarry in your 50's is your kids and grand-kids. My dad remarried in his early 50's. Yes he had his will/trust in place. However, those can be changed at anytime. She was younger and as his health changed he ended up putting her on all titles. I'm sure pressure from her, and again she was his only caretaker since we lived out of state. A major asset that was suppose to go to the kids all ended up with her after he died. In fact everything did except for a small life insurance policy she didn't know about. As in very small. I feel like a lot of people need to put their blood first before a outsider. She ended up with assets that were our mother's and father which is very sad, but quite common with second marriages.

I'd rather give all my money to a second wife who stood by me, than to a first wife and children who didn't. Loyalty has its rewards.

[Anonymous]

I guess I am in the minority in valuing time invested, layers of meaning and memory accrued. I’d rather have more rings around my tree than a bunch of cut flowers that will die in a week and always need replacing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It should be required reading for ANYONE contemplating marriage.
Men seem to feel entitled to maybe mow the lawn on Saturday morning then spend the rest of the weekend on the couch with a beer watching football while the wife takes care of the kids, the laundry, the meals, shopping, dishes.... The unfairness breeds resentment and that is poison to a relationship.

Man here. I'd rather do the laundry for a year, rather than mow the lawn once (I have 1/3 of an acre). This is an example of women being out of touch with reality. Mowing is hot, dirty, loud, and dangerous. And it's not just the mowing, it's the maintenance and repair of the mower.

I've been doing laundry as a 50-50 dad for nearly a decade. It's about the easiest household chore. Yes, I fold all the laundry, and iron a few things.

Single woman who is in touch enough with reality to promise you this:

I’d rather pay $25 to get the terribly “hot dirty dangerous” job of moving my measly 1/3 acre- for all of eternity- rather than listen to this mansplain nonsense. Plus, they’re younger and hotter and now shirtless all summer.

The beauty of divorce is not having to pay you on the back and say “great job warrior!!” For something that took 2 seconds and barely any cost to outsource.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A big reason not to remarry in your 50's is your kids and grand-kids. My dad remarried in his early 50's. Yes he had his will/trust in place. However, those can be changed at anytime. She was younger and as his health changed he ended up putting her on all titles. I'm sure pressure from her, and again she was his only caretaker since we lived out of state. A major asset that was suppose to go to the kids all ended up with her after he died. In fact everything did except for a small life insurance policy she didn't know about. As in very small. I feel like a lot of people need to put their blood first before a outsider. She ended up with assets that were our mother's and father which is very sad, but quite common with second marriages.

I'd rather give all my money to a second wife who stood by me, than to a first wife and children who didn't. Loyalty has its rewards.

They stood by his money though! Sadly he probably raised them to be this way or their emotional growth was somehow stunted by whatever their parents did that lad to the divorce in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I am in the minority in valuing time invested, layers of meaning and memory accrued. I’d rather have more rings around my tree than a bunch of cut flowers that will die in a week and always need replacing.

Well no- you are just low empathy.

My tree was a diseased alcoholic abuser tree. I had enough rings thanks. You have a nice healthy tree- but low EQ, so I don’t envy you at all.