If you are divorced and will never remarry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am married but fantasize about freedom and divorce. I have two kids and love them to pièces. They are why I am still here. I have my own money, retirement and kids are set with their college funds, all thanks to me. Husband is not of much use and expected me to be taken care of 24/7. I have stopped this nonsense. I sleep in my own bed. I do my thing with my girlfriends.
Frankly I don’t understand why a financially independent woman would ever want to get married. There’s nothing in it for her.
I caved to family pressure (I’m an immigrant from a conservative family). They wanted me married and I did. I’m now miserable but trying to keep a smile on my face. Not sure how long I’ll be able to keep up with the pretense.

Why don't you divorce once the kids are independent. Start planning it now, that always helps. My friend rented a big storage to start putting stuff inside for another place. Many women have to stay for finances or retirement because that's a big hit in divorce. That's the only thing I can think of that's keeping you. Sucks I know, but many women in that situation. And yes many have good jobs, but divorce is a big change. Especially if you're over 40.

This is pathological. Jeez.

It's good sound planning.

[Anonymous]

NP but the sum up the women in this thread have options and they aren't squandering them on some man who brings half as much to the table with double the aggravation. Keep it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so depressing.

I actually find it reassuring! I see myself in a lot of these responses.

I’m married and I find it reassuring too. It makes me feel so grateful for my husband and it makes me less worried about would happen if, heaven forbid, the relationship went south or he passed away. Sounds like being older and single is a great way to go.

+2. I find this thread reassuring as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It should be required reading for ANYONE contemplating marriage.
Men seem to feel entitled to maybe mow the lawn on Saturday morning then spend the rest of the weekend on the couch with a beer watching football while the wife takes care of the kids, the laundry, the meals, shopping, dishes.... The unfairness breeds resentment and that is poison to a relationship.

Man here. I'd rather do the laundry for a year, rather than mow the lawn once (I have 1/3 of an acre). This is an example of women being out of touch with reality. Mowing is hot, dirty, loud, and dangerous. And it's not just the mowing, it's the maintenance and repair of the mower.

I've been doing laundry as a 50-50 dad for nearly a decade. It's about the easiest household chore. Yes, I fold all the laundry, and iron a few things.

Single woman who is in touch enough with reality to promise you this:

I’d rather pay $25 to get the terribly “hot dirty dangerous” job of moving my measly 1/3 acre- for all of eternity- rather than listen to this mansplain nonsense. Plus, they’re younger and hotter and now shirtless all summer.

The beauty of divorce is not having to pay you on the back and say “great job warrior!!” For something that took 2 seconds and barely any cost to outsource.

Your reply shows how out of touch with reality you are. Three years ago my mower was broken so I hired a company to mow. It was $60 then, and it's probably $90 now. The Guatemalans who did the job were 5'4" and wore long sleeves.

Find a company that will mow my lawn for $25 in Great Falls and I will outsource.

I live in a different state, closer to Mexico. My labor is cheaper. That's what I pay for a mow weekly. Even if it was $60, or $90, it would be worth it to not listed to you complain and tell me your tiny violin story about short foreign mowers and OH! The terrible heat. So hot, so hard............. so don't care.

This is why women with money intimidate many men. Like whiney pants man here. I must be out of touch because I can replace all his efforts with one call on the phone, and no noticeable change to my bank account.

Go fold some laundry.

When I read what you wrote I'm picturing a fat woman who has unnaturally-colored hair, and lots of cats.

I love that! I'm fit, with dogs, but thank you for playing.

I swear this site makes me want to upload W2's and photos to Jeff, its so old being called a liar about money, and whatever shade of ugly men like to call women who aren't cowtowing to them.

Ha sometimes I think this too. Of course I know it plays into the idea that you can’t have valid opinions if you’re unattractive and have cats, but still. It’s like men think that women only disagree with them just because they’re bitter than men don’t want to sleep with them. Ha no. That’s you projecting, sir.

Exactly. I've been the antagonizing wealthy woman poster in this thread. I'm mostly just having a laugh at your expense, men who come on here with your "you so ugly" "You has cats", and "You golddigger" comments. I like men, in general. Its an uncomfortable truth, how much and how easily certain women trigger certain men. I am one of them, because I don't need them ~ I'm independently wealthy and I am pretty/ageing well. Its a real thing. If men cant call you broke, they call you ugly and/or pathetic. If they can't call you either one, without looking stupid, they can get really mean at times. Is what it is.

I'm reading it as a mental illness on your part. Healthy adults don't brag about how much money they have, they don't call other people names. You also seem to project a lot, as in "you're intimidated by my wealth and beauty!".

I'd like to clarify that I am not bragging about my wealth. I AM bragging about the CHOICE that my wealth allows me, specifically as it pertains to remarriage (on a thread about remarriage). It allows me to not tolerate the bad and boorish behavior of men, because I can support myself fully an forever without one. Say what you like, but that has not been the norm for all of history, and is an aberration even today, thanks to wage gaps and non working women/mommytracking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well there we go. Once they’ve used up “fat” and “cats” and “broke/ gold digger”, they revert to the classic- “crazy”

Yawn.

This is so true. I'm an academic and during the current COVID crisis I have had several op-eds published and the like. I was talking to a male colleague and mentioned that on the sites (and via e-mail for those who find me online), I receive at least a couple comments along the lines of "I looked at your picture online and you're fat" every day, and my male colleague was astounded because he's fat but people don't go out of their way to find reasons to dismiss his opinion. I kinda feel sorry for the guys and they are always guys, because I have more education and influence in the policy debates and all they've got is "yeah, so what. you're fat." I am pretty sure I make more money than most of them too. Like children, they are. What are you gonna do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well there we go. Once they’ve used up “fat” and “cats” and “broke/ gold digger”, they revert to the classic- “crazy”

Yawn.

This is so true. I'm an academic and during the current COVID crisis I have had several op-eds published and the like. I was talking to a male colleague and mentioned that on the sites (and via e-mail for those who find me online), I receive at least a couple comments along the lines of "I looked at your picture online and you're fat" every day, and my male colleague was astounded because he's fat but people don't go out of their way to find reasons to dismiss his opinion. I kinda feel sorry for the guys and they are always guys, because I have more education and influence in the policy debates and all they've got is "yeah, so what. you're fat." I am pretty sure I make more money than most of them too. Like children, they are. What are you gonna do?

This is what's galling about some of these men on here and out in the world. As soon as they don't have a good, rational argument against what you're saying, they attack by saying women are fat/crazy/cats etc. Sometimes I think we also fall in to that trap and believe that these women should not be x/y/z and believe what is said about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It should be required reading for ANYONE contemplating marriage.
Men seem to feel entitled to maybe mow the lawn on Saturday morning then spend the rest of the weekend on the couch with a beer watching football while the wife takes care of the kids, the laundry, the meals, shopping, dishes.... The unfairness breeds resentment and that is poison to a relationship.

Man here. I'd rather do the laundry for a year, rather than mow the lawn once (I have 1/3 of an acre). This is an example of women being out of touch with reality. Mowing is hot, dirty, loud, and dangerous. And it's not just the mowing, it's the maintenance and repair of the mower.

I've been doing laundry as a 50-50 dad for nearly a decade. It's about the easiest household chore. Yes, I fold all the laundry, and iron a few things.

Single woman who is in touch enough with reality to promise you this:

I’d rather pay $25 to get the terribly “hot dirty dangerous” job of moving my measly 1/3 acre- for all of eternity- rather than listen to this mansplain nonsense. Plus, they’re younger and hotter and now shirtless all summer.

The beauty of divorce is not having to pay you on the back and say “great job warrior!!” For something that took 2 seconds and barely any cost to outsource.

Your reply shows how out of touch with reality you are. Three years ago my mower was broken so I hired a company to mow. It was $60 then, and it's probably $90 now. The Guatemalans who did the job were 5'4" and wore long sleeves.

Find a company that will mow my lawn for $25 in Great Falls and I will outsource.

I live in a different state, closer to Mexico. My labor is cheaper. That's what I pay for a mow weekly. Even if it was $60, or $90, it would be worth it to not listed to you complain and tell me your tiny violin story about short foreign mowers and OH! The terrible heat. So hot, so hard............. so don't care.

This is why women with money intimidate many men. Like whiney pants man here. I must be out of touch because I can replace all his efforts with one call on the phone, and no noticeable change to my bank account.

Go fold some laundry.

When I read what you wrote I'm picturing a fat woman who has unnaturally-colored hair, and lots of cats.

I love that! I'm fit, with dogs, but thank you for playing.

I swear this site makes me want to upload W2's and photos to Jeff, its so old being called a liar about money, and whatever shade of ugly men like to call women who aren't cowtowing to them.

Ha sometimes I think this too. Of course I know it plays into the idea that you can’t have valid opinions if you’re unattractive and have cats, but still. It’s like men think that women only disagree with them just because they’re bitter than men don’t want to sleep with them. Ha no. That’s you projecting, sir.

Exactly. I've been the antagonizing wealthy woman poster in this thread. I'm mostly just having a laugh at your expense, men who come on here with your "you so ugly" "You has cats", and "You golddigger" comments. I like men, in general. Its an uncomfortable truth, how much and how easily certain women trigger certain men. I am one of them, because I don't need them ~ I'm independently wealthy and I am pretty/ageing well. Its a real thing. If men cant call you broke, they call you ugly and/or pathetic. If they can't call you either one, without looking stupid, they can get really mean at times. Is what it is.

I'm reading it as a mental illness on your part. Healthy adults don't brag about how much money they have, they don't call other people names. You also seem to project a lot, as in "you're intimidated by my wealth and beauty!".

I'd like to clarify that I am not bragging about my wealth. I AM bragging about the CHOICE that my wealth allows me, specifically as it pertains to remarriage (on a thread about remarriage). It allows me to not tolerate the bad and boorish behavior of men, because I can support myself fully an forever without one. Say what you like, but that has not been the norm for all of history, and is an aberration even today, thanks to wage gaps and non working women/mommytracking.

Listen, most people got what you're saying. You were clearly saying that wealth offers you independence and ability to set you own standards and so not sure why that's wrong. This is what I'm hearing from many women on here that financial independence allows them freedom and choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well there we go. Once they’ve used up “fat” and “cats” and “broke/ gold digger”, they revert to the classic- “crazy”

Yawn.

This is so true. I'm an academic and during the current COVID crisis I have had several op-eds published and the like. I was talking to a male colleague and mentioned that on the sites (and via e-mail for those who find me online), I receive at least a couple comments along the lines of "I looked at your picture online and you're fat" every day, and my male colleague was astounded because he's fat but people don't go out of their way to find reasons to dismiss his opinion. I kinda feel sorry for the guys and they are always guys, because I have more education and influence in the policy debates and all they've got is "yeah, so what. you're fat." I am pretty sure I make more money than most of them too. Like children, they are. What are you gonna do?

I don't listen to or respect the opinions of fat men, either. Especially fat men who express opinions about health care. Frankly I respect fat men far less than I respect fat women. I hold men to a higher standard than women when it comes to demonstrating discipline and self-control by not being fat.

[Anonymous]

I'd like to clarify that I am not bragging about my wealth. I AM bragging about the CHOICE that my wealth allows me, specifically as it pertains to remarriage (on a thread about remarriage). It allows me to not tolerate the bad and boorish behavior of men, because I can support myself fully an forever without one. Say what you like, but that has not been the norm for all of history, and is an aberration even today, thanks to wage gaps and non working women/mommytracking.

Well yay for you, I guess, but I am far more impressed with women who do not have your supposed wealth and still do not "tolerate the bad and boorish behavior of men". In fact, very few women today cannot support themselves forever without a man, though they may not enjoy a very luxurious lifestyle.

Your "clarification" really doesn't make you sound less awful tbh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'd like to clarify that I am not bragging about my wealth. I AM bragging about the CHOICE that my wealth allows me, specifically as it pertains to remarriage (on a thread about remarriage). It allows me to not tolerate the bad and boorish behavior of men, because I can support myself fully an forever without one. Say what you like, but that has not been the norm for all of history, and is an aberration even today, thanks to wage gaps and non working women/mommytracking.

Well yay for you, I guess, but I am far more impressed with women who do not have your supposed wealth and still do not "tolerate the bad and boorish behavior of men". In fact, very few women today cannot support themselves forever without a man, though they may not enjoy a very luxurious lifestyle.

Your "clarification" really doesn't make you sound less awful tbh.

That bolded statement is ridiculous. How old are you? 65+? Most women support themselves before marriage (and often for at least a decade) so they can certainly do it after. I have no idea where you would come up with such a ludicrous statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'd like to clarify that I am not bragging about my wealth. I AM bragging about the CHOICE that my wealth allows me, specifically as it pertains to remarriage (on a thread about remarriage). It allows me to not tolerate the bad and boorish behavior of men, because I can support myself fully an forever without one. Say what you like, but that has not been the norm for all of history, and is an aberration even today, thanks to wage gaps and non working women/mommytracking.

Well yay for you, I guess, but I am far more impressed with women who do not have your supposed wealth and still do not "tolerate the bad and boorish behavior of men". In fact, very few women today cannot support themselves forever without a man, though they may not enjoy a very luxurious lifestyle.

Your "clarification" really doesn't make you sound less awful tbh.

That bolded statement is ridiculous. How old are you? 65+? Most women support themselves before marriage (and often for at least a decade) so they can certainly do it after. I have no idea where you would come up with such a ludicrous statement.

Most people can, yes. It is easier to maintain one joint household than two, however. I know a subset of divorced women who were in a rush to cohabitate because of finances (with a new partner) when kids were involved. I dont think that that is ideal, and in every time I have seen it, finances have been the motivation. Not in a "golddigger" way, just in a way of two people hurt financially by divorce seeing the advantages of financially partnering, with kids sometimes being collateral damage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'd like to clarify that I am not bragging about my wealth. I AM bragging about the CHOICE that my wealth allows me, specifically as it pertains to remarriage (on a thread about remarriage). It allows me to not tolerate the bad and boorish behavior of men, because I can support myself fully an forever without one. Say what you like, but that has not been the norm for all of history, and is an aberration even today, thanks to wage gaps and non working women/mommytracking.

Well yay for you, I guess, but I am far more impressed with women who do not have your supposed wealth and still do not "tolerate the bad and boorish behavior of men". In fact, very few women today cannot support themselves forever without a man, though they may not enjoy a very luxurious lifestyle.

Your "clarification" really doesn't make you sound less awful tbh.

I missed the part where I was trying to impress you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'd like to clarify that I am not bragging about my wealth. I AM bragging about the CHOICE that my wealth allows me, specifically as it pertains to remarriage (on a thread about remarriage). It allows me to not tolerate the bad and boorish behavior of men, because I can support myself fully an forever without one. Say what you like, but that has not been the norm for all of history, and is an aberration even today, thanks to wage gaps and non working women/mommytracking.

Well yay for you, I guess, but I am far more impressed with women who do not have your supposed wealth and still do not "tolerate the bad and boorish behavior of men". In fact, very few women today cannot support themselves forever without a man, though they may not enjoy a very luxurious lifestyle.

Your "clarification" really doesn't make you sound less awful tbh.

That bolded statement is ridiculous. How old are you? 65+? Most women support themselves before marriage (and often for at least a decade) so they can certainly do it after. I have no idea where you would come up with such a ludicrous statement.

Most people can, yes. It is easier to maintain one joint household than two, however. I know a subset of divorced women who were in a rush to cohabitate because of finances (with a new partner) when kids were involved. I dont think that that is ideal, and in every time I have seen it, finances have been the motivation. Not in a "golddigger" way, just in a way of two people hurt financially by divorce seeing the advantages of financially partnering, with kids sometimes being collateral damage.

I do not know any divorced women like that. I’m divorced. This has to be an older generation thing. I have literally never seen what you described.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP but the sum up the women in this thread have options and they aren't squandering them on some man who brings half as much to the table with double the aggravation. Keep it.

+1

The last thing I need after decades of mothering is another person to take care of. No, thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well there we go. Once they’ve used up “fat” and “cats” and “broke/ gold digger”, they revert to the classic- “crazy”

Yawn.

This is so true. I'm an academic and during the current COVID crisis I have had several op-eds published and the like. I was talking to a male colleague and mentioned that on the sites (and via e-mail for those who find me online), I receive at least a couple comments along the lines of "I looked at your picture online and you're fat" every day, and my male colleague was astounded because he's fat but people don't go out of their way to find reasons to dismiss his opinion. I kinda feel sorry for the guys and they are always guys, because I have more education and influence in the policy debates and all they've got is "yeah, so what. you're fat." I am pretty sure I make more money than most of them too. Like children, they are. What are you gonna do?

I don't listen to or respect the opinions of fat men, either. Especially fat men who express opinions about health care. Frankly I respect fat men far less than I respect fat women. I hold men to a higher standard than women when it comes to demonstrating discipline and self-control by not being fat.

My dear, please seek therapy. I don't mean that in a rude way, as most of us need therapy, but your statement shows all kinds of issues.