If you are divorced and will never remarry

[Anonymous]

I’m equally unimpressed by women and this forum isn’t doing anything to change my mind. Every time I peruse this site it reinforces my decision to never marry again. Thank you ladies. Please keep it up.

[Anonymous]

I think you mean that as an insult- but you are preaching to a choir of women who thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced at 42, now 51. Would never say that I would never remarry, but . . . I don't NEED to, financially or emotionally. So I've passed over at least 3 men who would have gone down the path to marriage because I will only make that commitment for a really healthy relationship, and we didn't have that. I would have had to be what these men needed me to be to have a successful marriage, rather than who I am, because it was all about their needs. I feel like most middle aged divorced guys can only think about themselves, and that doesn't interest me. Because I have my own money and don't feel social pressure to be married. So . . . why do it?

[Perhaps the same is true for middle aged divorced women - I only know who I meet dating]

I feel like most middle aged divorced woman can only think about themselves.

Bc no one else is thinking about them. Would love to be taken care of but no one around here is doing that.

Are you reading the same thread that I am? It’s all women who are doing a fine job - and finding taking care of themselves easy and pleasurable without the dead weight most men bring to the table.

[Anonymous]

Totally agree. This thread is definitely not depressing.

Depressing is when someone feels trapped in a bad relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did any of you stop having frequent sex with your partners? I am curious what causes the schism in your relationships. I know there was resentment that must have set in, but did you cause any of the issues that led to divorce? Do you feel at all responsible?

Woman here. Our marriage was a mistake from the beginning. A horrible 10 years. I regret not getting out immediately—I was strongly considering it. I do not feel I was ever really married. I would never ever do it again. I saw no advantage. Only one-sided sacrifice on my side with nothing in return. It was a complete waste and see no reason why another marriage at my age (mid 40s) would be worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:46. Divorced at 42. Woman.

I wont marry again because divorcing an asshole now dictates where I live, it means that the rights I thought I had, as an American, are not the same as others, because I am divorced from a high conflict man. He will try to ruin any relationship I am in, I keep my love life very very private. I will never again have to pay my way out of a relationship, and to be held hostage by the whims of an insane person just because we share biological children.

I hope to have a live in partner, someday, after my kids leave home (7 years from now). But I've learned that marriage doesn't mean anything when one person has addiction issues, or mental illness, or ....whatever. It just ends, same as a relationship would, but with a hell of a lot more expense and hassle.

So far, I dont find men very impressive. The fact that my life is SO much easier as a primary parent to several kids is a testimony to how much of a help he was. He was like my 4th and 5th child. And maybe a dog too.

I'm a man and you just described my situation, and my ex-wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so depressing.

I actually find it reassuring! I see myself in a lot of these responses.

The fact that you are reassured over all this depressing content is depressing.

Are you the same male PP who “dodged a bullet”? Are you depressed because the pool of women who will put your needs first is apparently shrinking right before your eyes?

Most (all?) of these PPs sound much better off to me. Good for them!

Depressed? Oh God no. Thankfully those with no interest in relationships are taking themselves off the market.

[Anonymous]

44 and 42. Man. Zero benefits to marriage other than to raise kids and share finances. I am done with kids and am financially successful.

Marriage is where romance and sex go to die. I am having an amazing time being so single. Why break back into prison?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did any of you stop having frequent sex with your partners? I am curious what causes the schism in your relationships. I know there was resentment that must have set in, but did you cause any of the issues that led to divorce? Do you feel at all responsible?

My ex wife and I stopped having sex. Perhaps I was partly at fault but who knows and who cares now. I am done having kids and will never remarry. If the sex and intimacy dry up in the next relationship, I can end it with a phone call, not a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced at 42, now 51. Would never say that I would never remarry, but . . . I don't NEED to, financially or emotionally. So I've passed over at least 3 men who would have gone down the path to marriage because I will only make that commitment for a really healthy relationship, and we didn't have that. I would have had to be what these men needed me to be to have a successful marriage, rather than who I am, because it was all about their needs. I feel like most middle aged divorced guys can only think about themselves, and that doesn't interest me. Because I have my own money and don't feel social pressure to be married. So . . . why do it?

[Perhaps the same is true for middle aged divorced women - I only know who I meet dating]

I feel like most middle aged divorced woman can only think about themselves.

Yup. That would be me. I am married but if I were to ever divorce I would never remarry. I’d focus my time and attention on myself and my kids.

[Anonymous]

44. Divorced at 40. Won't remarry because I don't believe in forever anymore, I am financially stable, have a great job, great life, and can get all the sex and companionship I want, when I want it, without having to combine households and finances. I was married for 17 years, and made many compromises. I like being single and prioritizing myself and what I want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so depressing.

I actually find it reassuring! I see myself in a lot of these responses.

The fact that you are reassured over all this depressing content is depressing.

Are you the same male PP who “dodged a bullet”? Are you depressed because the pool of women who will put your needs first is apparently shrinking right before your eyes?

Most (all?) of these PPs sound much better off to me. Good for them!

+1

I think there is a weirdo angry man in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m equally unimpressed by women and this forum isn’t doing anything to change my mind. Every time I peruse this site it reinforces my decision to never marry again. Thank you ladies. Please keep it up.

Thank you for your service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced at 42, now 51. Would never say that I would never remarry, but . . . I don't NEED to, financially or emotionally. So I've passed over at least 3 men who would have gone down the path to marriage because I will only make that commitment for a really healthy relationship, and we didn't have that. I would have had to be what these men needed me to be to have a successful marriage, rather than who I am, because it was all about their needs. I feel like most middle aged divorced guys can only think about themselves, and that doesn't interest me. Because I have my own money and don't feel social pressure to be married. So . . . why do it?

[Perhaps the same is true for middle aged divorced women - I only know who I meet dating]

I feel like most middle aged divorced woman can only think about themselves.

I find the opposite. They are the ones that help everybody.. the friend with cancer, the local food bank, the widow in the neighborhood, their parents, their nieces/nephews.

Now that their life blood isn’t being sucked out of the day in and day out they are there for everybody. They are free to be the loving supportive friend, the good daughter, the sister and aunt they want to be.

No baby at home “take care of” day in a d day out or pouting because they don’t get enough attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so depressing.

I’d be depressed to if I read how free and happy divorced women are and your stuck in a marriage.