Has anyone stayed with a spouse after they had an affair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also work full time while doing almost everything to raise the kids and run the household. And my husband doesn't even work. I would never cheat. But sometimes I sure wish he would so I would finally have reason to leave. About 8 years ago, he accused me of cheating for absolutely no reason. Never have, never would. Literally, there was a group email thread between several of my friends from high school, a couple of whom were men and he was convinced I was planning to have an affair. It was the most bizarre thing. Our marriage has never been the same. He brings it up every few years as if I actually had an affiar--like he has created this complete fantasy as if it happened. If my husband can't get over something he completely imagined, I can't envision you getting over something that actually did.

I give you permission to cheat and also to leave him. You don’t need a reason.

Nope. Not to cheat. Leave first. You can’t introduce cheating and the hurt it would cause your children when found out...as it always does. Plus, it’s undignified and trashy. Very trashy. Plus, then you have to morally live with yourself after. Even if I despised somebody, I have integrity and morals and would never cheat.

Hold your head high. Get your ducks in a row and leave.

Honestly, no one cares what YOU would have done, your integrity and morals and whatever else you want a medal for. You're not in this situation, she is. Leave the woman alone with your lectures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Are you looking for a medal? Millions of people women do that every day without spreading their legs for some strange. That’s some big level entitlement."

You're saying that millions of female executives who make well into six figures and do 95% of the kid raising and household management do all this uncomplainingly, with no affairs and no divorce and just take it? No way.

Stop trying to justify your dishonest behaviour. If someone makes such a large income, they’d obviously outsource most of the work. And unless there were financial implications, they’d have no problem divorcing. There are also millions of women who make a lot less who just make the best of the situation. They choose not to betray their SO. There’s no excuse for jumping strange d!ck because you don’t like your spouse. You did it because you could and made up the excuses afterwards. If you want strange d!ck, let your SO know. Just own your dishonesty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These people saying it takes strength to stay...pshaw, yeah right. No, it takes strength to uproot your life and give up financial security and companionship for the *chance* of finding another partner. Accepting your spouse's abuse is the easy way out. And that's fine. But let's cut the strength crap.

What motivates you to denigrate one choice or the other? It takes strength to stay and to go. Hell, it takes strength just to survive the trauma and heal enough to love or trust anyone again. Unless you’ve had experience truly committing to both choices, you have no credibility here. Take your nastiness elsewhere.

Threads like this always attract women anxious to demonstrate their superiority. Tiresome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Are you looking for a medal? Millions of people women do that every day without spreading their legs for some strange. That’s some big level entitlement."

You're saying that millions of female executives who make well into six figures and do 95% of the kid raising and household management do all this uncomplainingly, with no affairs and no divorce and just take it? No way.

Stop trying to justify your dishonest behaviour. If someone makes such a large income, they’d obviously outsource most of the work. And unless there were financial implications, they’d have no problem divorcing. There are also millions of women who make a lot less who just make the best of the situation. They choose not to betray their SO. There’s no excuse for jumping strange d!ck because you don’t like your spouse. You did it because you could and made up the excuses afterwards. If you want strange d!ck, let your SO know. Just own your dishonesty.

+1,000

One commonality cheaters all possess is the insane mental gymnastics they do to justify their deceitful behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pregnancy and postpartum is hard on husbands. Sometimes you have to go with the pornstars and whores. Men have needs. Women accept that. What's to think about it?

It’s very telling that you use Donald Trump as proof of your theory. It’s only insecure men who behave that way. They’re unable to deal with reality, so they try to find a way to escape it, like Trump hides from the realities of COVID-19 and his lost presidency. They lack integrity and they’re really just little babies in a big body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Are you looking for a medal? Millions of people women do that every day without spreading their legs for some strange. That’s some big level entitlement."

You're saying that millions of female executives who make well into six figures and do 95% of the kid raising and household management do all this uncomplainingly, with no affairs and no divorce and just take it? No way.

Stop trying to justify your dishonest behaviour. If someone makes such a large income, they’d obviously outsource most of the work. And unless there were financial implications, they’d have no problem divorcing. There are also millions of women who make a lot less who just make the best of the situation. They choose not to betray their SO. There’s no excuse for jumping strange d!ck because you don’t like your spouse. You did it because you could and made up the excuses afterwards. If you want strange d!ck, let your SO know. Just own your dishonesty.

+1,000

One commonality cheaters all possess is the insane mental gymnastics they do to justify their deceitful behavior.

There must be a handbook somewhere for these degenerates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pregnancy and postpartum is hard on husbands. Sometimes you have to go with the pornstars and whores. Men have needs. Women accept that. What's to think about it?

Wow. She looks great here. No plastic surgery and cat eyes yet...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These people saying it takes strength to stay...pshaw, yeah right. No, it takes strength to uproot your life and give up financial security and companionship for the *chance* of finding another partner. Accepting your spouse's abuse is the easy way out. And that's fine. But let's cut the strength crap.

This is one of the reasons why I’m reluctant to even try counseling with my husband. I have a great career and am financially independent. I don’t need him for things like finances, insurance, etc. I am motivated mostly by my children to reconcile but o agree that when I look in the mirror and think about what he did to me, I am calling myself names For even thinking of trying. He hurt me in so many ways and my self image and confidence are at zero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
"Are you looking for a medal? Millions of people women do that every day without spreading their legs for some strange. That’s some big level entitlement."

You're saying that millions of female executives who make well into six figures and do 95% of the kid raising and household management do all this uncomplainingly, with no affairs and no divorce and just take it? No way.


Stop trying to justify your dishonest behaviour. If someone makes such a large income, they’d obviously outsource most of the work. And unless there were financial implications, they’d have no problem divorcing. There are also millions of women who make a lot less who just make the best of the situation. They choose not to betray their SO. There’s no excuse for jumping strange d!ck because you don’t like your spouse. You did it because you could and made up the excuses afterwards. If you want strange d!ck, let your SO know. Just own your dishonesty.

+1000. The rationalization is unbelievable, and until she owns her crappy behavior and actually believes it was wrong she is bound to make lots of other bad choices, including cheating again in her next "relationship."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These people saying it takes strength to stay...pshaw, yeah right. No, it takes strength to uproot your life and give up financial security and companionship for the *chance* of finding another partner. Accepting your spouse's abuse is the easy way out. And that's fine. But let's cut the strength crap.

This is one of the reasons why I’m reluctant to even try counseling with my husband. I have a great career and am financially independent. I don’t need him for things like finances, insurance, etc. I am motivated mostly by my children to reconcile but o agree that when I look in the mirror and think about what he did to me, I am calling myself names For even thinking of trying. He hurt me in so many ways and my self image and confidence are at zero.

I think when you poll women in marriages that survived adultery, you'll find that many of them emerged with their self-image and confidence completely independent of their spouse' behavior. It has certainly happened to me. We have a very solid marriage after two turbulent years caused by his affair. One thing that changed is that I feel more independent emotionally. In a sense, I simply came to believe that nothing my husband does or doesn't do is a reflection on me in any way. He is a completely separate person with his own ideas, thoughts and wants. He is not there to fill my needs. I am not there to fill his. I really don't see now how anything he does has anything to do with my self-image or confidence. I am a separate person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Are you looking for a medal? Millions of people women do that every day without spreading their legs for some strange. That’s some big level entitlement."

You're saying that millions of female executives who make well into six figures and do 95% of the kid raising and household management do all this uncomplainingly, with no affairs and no divorce and just take it? No way.

Stop trying to justify your dishonest behaviour. If someone makes such a large income, they’d obviously outsource most of the work. And unless there were financial implications, they’d have no problem divorcing. There are also millions of women who make a lot less who just make the best of the situation. They choose not to betray their SO. There’s no excuse for jumping strange d!ck because you don’t like your spouse. You did it because you could and made up the excuses afterwards. If you want strange d!ck, let your SO know. Just own your dishonesty.

+1,000

One commonality cheaters all possess is the insane mental gymnastics they do to justify their deceitful behavior.

+10,000. It’s almost as if they know it’s undignified and wrong to violate their marriage vows and live a lie(s)...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Are you looking for a medal? Millions of people women do that every day without spreading their legs for some strange. That’s some big level entitlement."

You're saying that millions of female executives who make well into six figures and do 95% of the kid raising and household management do all this uncomplainingly, with no affairs and no divorce and just take it? No way.

Stop trying to justify your dishonest behaviour. If someone makes such a large income, they’d obviously outsource most of the work. And unless there were financial implications, they’d have no problem divorcing. There are also millions of women who make a lot less who just make the best of the situation. They choose not to betray their SO. There’s no excuse for jumping strange d!ck because you don’t like your spouse. You did it because you could and made up the excuses afterwards. If you want strange d!ck, let your SO know. Just own your dishonesty.

+1,000

One commonality cheaters all possess is the insane mental gymnastics they do to justify their deceitful behavior.

+10,000. It’s almost as if they know it’s undignified and wrong to violate their marriage vows and live a lie(s)...

Yeah. I’m one of those female execs. I haven’t had any d@ck but my own husband’s since 1995.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These people saying it takes strength to stay...pshaw, yeah right. No, it takes strength to uproot your life and give up financial security and companionship for the *chance* of finding another partner. Accepting your spouse's abuse is the easy way out. And that's fine. But let's cut the strength crap.

This is one of the reasons why I’m reluctant to even try counseling with my husband. I have a great career and am financially independent. I don’t need him for things like finances, insurance, etc. I am motivated mostly by my children to reconcile but o agree that when I look in the mirror and think about what he did to me, I am calling myself names For even thinking of trying. He hurt me in so many ways and my self image and confidence are at zero.

I think when you poll women in marriages that survived adultery, you'll find that many of them emerged with their self-image and confidence completely independent of their spouse' behavior. It has certainly happened to me. We have a very solid marriage after two turbulent years caused by his affair. One thing that changed is that I feel more independent emotionally. In a sense, I simply came to believe that nothing my husband does or doesn't do is a reflection on me in any way. He is a completely separate person with his own ideas, thoughts and wants. He is not there to fill my needs. I am not there to fill his. I really don't see now how anything he does has anything to do with my self-image or confidence. I am a separate person.

That’s a really powerful feeling. I’m hoping to get there one day. My DH cheated with multiple prostitutes. After seeing the photos and reading the texts and emails between my DH and the prostitutes, my self esteem and self image hit rock bottom. I really feel that I must be the ugliest most disgusting woman on the planet if my spouse would rather pay someone to have sex with him than have sex with his wife. We’re in therapy and I “understand” it has nothing to do with me. I hope one day I can believe it and feel good about myself again. It’s inspiring to hear where you’re at mentally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Are you looking for a medal? Millions of people women do that every day without spreading their legs for some strange. That’s some big level entitlement."

You're saying that millions of female executives who make well into six figures and do 95% of the kid raising and household management do all this uncomplainingly, with no affairs and no divorce and just take it? No way.

Stop trying to justify your dishonest behaviour. If someone makes such a large income, they’d obviously outsource most of the work. And unless there were financial implications, they’d have no problem divorcing. There are also millions of women who make a lot less who just make the best of the situation. They choose not to betray their SO. There’s no excuse for jumping strange d!ck because you don’t like your spouse. You did it because you could and made up the excuses afterwards. If you want strange d!ck, let your SO know. Just own your dishonesty.

+1,000

One commonality cheaters all possess is the insane mental gymnastics they do to justify their deceitful behavior.

+10,000. It’s almost as if they know it’s undignified and wrong to violate their marriage vows and live a lie(s)...

Yeah. I’m one of those female execs. I haven’t had any d@ck but my own husband’s since 1995.

It’s like that PP can’t fathom that other women aren’t morally bankrupt like her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pregnancy and postpartum is hard on husbands. Sometimes you have to go with the pornstars and whores. Men have needs. Women accept that. What's to think about it?

Or just dumpy, married middle aged sluts... the usual case around here.

This can’t be true. There is some troll who keeps insisting it’s married moms sleeping with the kinds of husbands posters are agonizing over. Of course it’s probably single women.

It takes strength to stay and it takes strength to leave. Making either choice doesn’t make someone weak. Facing the reality of what your partner does is brave and extremely difficult, but can be done whether one stays or chooses to go.