Forced into a "Healing Circle"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the buzz words they are using and translate into what you know: a Latina subordinate made a complaint about a white supervisor. They are investigating. Act accordingly, and maybe have your lawyer review your response before you put anything in writing. Have a witness on your side of the call.

Did you miss that they work at different organizations? OP may end up a social media wonder from this but doubt a lawyer is going to make a difference here.

But many organizations would pause before sending their employee into a complaint t based healing circle especially with another company. Op may have been nasty and unreasonable and in danger of becoming a social media “star” but nothing she’s said suggests that is what’s most most likely.

For sure the healing circle thing is insane but why are so many people saying this might end up in a lawsuit? That part doesn't make any sense, what possible grounds could there be when there is no employer/employee relationship and possibly not even a contractual arranagement between these two entities? That part doesn't make any sense to me at all.

The other employee may be trying to gin up a complaint against HER employer, for not handling this issue with the third party (OP's org). In employment law, employers have an obligation to prevent employees from being harassed by third parties. So, OP is being dragged into this, perhaps because the other employee is trying to either get a complaint going, or stir trouble, or stop herself from being fired, or whatever. The legal issue is on the side of the other org, and that's probably the reason why OP's employer is going along with this. They don't want to alienate the other org if the other org is trying to keep their employee from going bananas and filing an EEOC complaint.

This. OP this is no simple thing that will be resolved by an apology. Careful what you say.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP. You need to attend but please do be careful what you say. If you have a lawyer it's worth sharing the exchange and having them advise you what NOT to say during the meeting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the buzz words they are using and translate into what you know: a Latina subordinate made a complaint about a white supervisor. They are investigating. Act accordingly, and maybe have your lawyer review your response before you put anything in writing. Have a witness on your side of the call.

Did you miss that they work at different organizations? OP may end up a social media wonder from this but doubt a lawyer is going to make a difference here.

But many organizations would pause before sending their employee into a complaint t based healing circle especially with another company. Op may have been nasty and unreasonable and in danger of becoming a social media “star” but nothing she’s said suggests that is what’s most most likely.

For sure the healing circle thing is insane but why are so many people saying this might end up in a lawsuit? That part doesn't make any sense, what possible grounds could there be when there is no employer/employee relationship and possibly not even a contractual arranagement between these two entities? That part doesn't make any sense to me at all.

The other employee may be trying to gin up a complaint against HER employer, for not handling this issue with the third party (OP's org). In employment law, employers have an obligation to prevent employees from being harassed by third parties. So, OP is being dragged into this, perhaps because the other employee is trying to either get a complaint going, or stir trouble, or stop herself from being fired, or whatever. The legal issue is on the side of the other org, and that's probably the reason why OP's employer is going along with this. They don't want to alienate the other org if the other org is trying to keep their employee from going bananas and filing an EEOC complaint.

Right, and that all makes sense but like I said previously I don't see why this would necessitate OP obtaining legal counsel. Any lawsuit would be against the other org and wouldn't be her problem. Stupid and a waste of time but not a legal problem for OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This does sound totally crazy but there is the chance that the OP is actually somehow making the other person feel small or fearful, etc.

I only say this because I had a senior-to-me coworker once who was essentially abusive but completely unaware. I figured it out when we were eventually in the same leadership training and she was totally bewildered when it came to the emotional IQ exercises, asking "who has time for this?" The truth is that how other people feel about their work and their colleagues matters and impacts business, and leaders need empathy to be effective.

I'm not saying this is the case, OP. You might be awesome and this other person might be a little terrorist. I've seen that too. But on the off chance that you could be doing or saying harmful things without realizing it, you may want to go through with it. If you're certain that you've been a good/supportive colleague, then I agree, you should also say you feel attacked.

Or, lawyer up, as the PP suggested.

Good luck!

She could be making the other person feel bad. I don't think that's unlikely. But "feeling bad" and "overreacting in a way that endangers someone else's job" aren't mutually exclusive. Part of the problem with the current moment of changing expectations and random punishment is that the stakes are so much higher, so just being the bigger person and genuinely being open to this process could get you fired, because you're admitting fault and giving them more material to use against you.

True. There are two issues here: 1) is OP somehow shooting herself in the foot with behavior that is causing others to react against her (lack of empathy/leadership, etc.)? and 2) should OP participate in this theater without being very cautious? I'm going with YES and NO.

[Anonymous]

If OP already has a lawyer it's an option to pay for an hour (many will bill for less if the answer is a short "no worries" response) for peace of mind. I'd err on the side of caution but my lawyer is great about providing short answers.

[Anonymous]

This thread has solidified my determination to never, ever work for a DC non-profit again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If OP already has a lawyer it's an option to pay for an hour (many will bill for less if the answer is a short "no worries" response) for peace of mind. I'd err on the side of caution but my lawyer is great about providing short answers.

But what’s the question? There’s no legit question here for a lawyer.

Signed,

A Lawyer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP already has a lawyer it's an option to pay for an hour (many will bill for less if the answer is a short "no worries" response) for peace of mind. I'd err on the side of caution but my lawyer is great about providing short answers.

But what’s the question? There’s no legit question here for a lawyer.

Signed,

A Lawyer

Can this lady who requested the healing circle sue OP or OPs org because she got her fee-fees hurt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP already has a lawyer it's an option to pay for an hour (many will bill for less if the answer is a short "no worries" response) for peace of mind. I'd err on the side of caution but my lawyer is great about providing short answers.

But what’s the question? There’s no legit question here for a lawyer.

Signed,

A Lawyer

Can this lady who requested the healing circle sue OP or OPs org because she got her fee-fees hurt?

Theoretically, anyone can try to sue anyone for anything. But there’s no relationship or cause of action. This is just touchy feely millennial nonprofit theater. Go through the motions. Smile, be polite, and be professional. Don’t be defensive; there’s nothing to defend if your explanation is that this is a non-issue: no hostility, no malicious intent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP already has a lawyer it's an option to pay for an hour (many will bill for less if the answer is a short "no worries" response) for peace of mind. I'd err on the side of caution but my lawyer is great about providing short answers.

But what’s the question? There’s no legit question here for a lawyer.

Signed,

A Lawyer

+1. Been saying this for a few pages now. There's no cause of action here against the OP and paying for a lawyer is a waste of money.

[Anonymous]

I need an update on this crazy story!

[Anonymous]

Update OP please!

[Anonymous]

You have no real control over what she says you said not in emails. All kinds of accusations can come out and you will be there trying to defend yourself and diving deeper and deeper. Don’t underestimate the devious. The healing circle thing so crazy it has to be a set up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I am reading all of your responses. I am leaning towards the advice above a 14:00 and 14:11.

"I am not sure what a healing circle is and do not have time to complete the assignments you sent me, but I am looking forward to the facilitated call."

Save/print all of your emails, documents, work projects, etc, STAT.

If you need to, consult an employment lawyer just to be on the safe side. (Of course do not say a word to anyone if you do this. You can get a free consultation from most employment firms...)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a lawyer and I would consult one of I were you O.P. This sounds like a precursor to a discrimination claim. Don't say or write anything without counsel.

THANK YOU!!! OP, someone is trying to set you up, or gathering ammunition to give you the heave ho.

I feel for you: this back and forth would be too much for me. I do not have the patience. I miss the days of work being "here's what I need" or "let's get this done" without the woowoo sh*t. I am very much into spiritual practices, mindfulness, etc, but feel things have gone to the extreme and I do not like my time wasted with futile exercises! Management these days are all ppl with their heads up their arses also.

Whew. Sorry to rant...