Dilemma: Support Son National Sports Championship or Ex’s Wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry I didn’t read the thread but is the kid actually going to national championships or is this an elaborate hypothetical that everyone has worked themselves into a frothy froth over

He is actually going.

No, it’s still all speculation according to the first post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I think kid should skip the championship.

Do you all seriously think a bride should base her wedding around whether a championship may or may not occur?! Also, when I planned my wedding a decade ago there was only one day available for months. I've heard it's even harder now.

There is literally no venues you can’t find another date. Since they will have no issue filling the date there is no penalty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry I didn’t read the thread but is the kid actually going to national championships or is this an elaborate hypothetical that everyone has worked themselves into a frothy froth over

He is actually going.

No, it’s still all speculation according to the first post.

DS will “probably qualify.”

So there are a lot of contingencies here and the wedding date is certain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry I didn’t read the thread but is the kid actually going to national championships or is this an elaborate hypothetical that everyone has worked themselves into a frothy froth over

He is actually going.

No, it’s still all speculation according to the first post.

DS will “probably qualify.”

So there are a lot of contingencies here and the wedding date is certain.

Then the father should not worry if chances are low he will go.

If he goes it was meant to be and out of the dads hands.

[Anonymous]

Boy is OP going to look silly when she’s thrown this big fit and kid doesn’t qualify. Better to wait for it to happen (or not) and then express her sincere regrets that kid can’t come to the event after all. IF it comes to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the sport. Most "national championships" at the middle school level are money grabs from parents living out their athletic dreams thru their kids.

This 100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the sport. Most "national championships" at the middle school level are money grabs from parents living out their athletic dreams thru their kids.

Does it really matter, though? The kid made a commitment to his team. The team's schedule was laid out in advance of the dad's wedding. The dad didn't check the child's schedule before planning the wedding. The dad can't expect the child not to honor his first commitment. That would be terrible parenting.

Most teams excuse players for family events like weddings. Especially middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boy is OP going to look silly when she’s thrown this big fit and kid doesn’t qualify. Better to wait for it to happen (or not) and then express her sincere regrets that kid can’t come to the event after all. IF it comes to that.

Easier to change the wedding date now than the week before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing is more cringe-y than a second wedding pretending to be a first (real) wedding.

Wow, the bitterness on this board is amazing!! This has nothing to do with the child, this has everything to do with pettiness. Your marriage was "real", but when your ex-husband remarries that is not real??

[Anonymous]

Knowing the sport would be helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the sport. Most "national championships" at the middle school level are money grabs from parents living out their athletic dreams thru their kids.

Does it really matter, though? The kid made a commitment to his team. The team's schedule was laid out in advance of the dad's wedding. The dad didn't check the child's schedule before planning the wedding. The dad can't expect the child not to honor his first commitment. That would be terrible parenting.

Most teams excuse players for family events like weddings. Especially middle school.

Kind of beside the point, the child made a commitment to the team. Dad has to plan around the child's existing schedule.

And a second wedding "venue" is not something that is difficult to move. As pp mentioned, a nice restaurant and the courthouse are usually quite flexible.

[Anonymous]

This is so silly. You don’t even know that he will qualify yet, so the answer for now is that dad knows the date and decide whether to adjust wedding plans accordingly. Issue of what kid does *if* his team qualifies can be decided when/if they qualify and it’s an actual issue.

Also, for as critical and dismissive OP has been off this wedding, even she has grudgingly conceded that this particular date is significant for the bride, and in a way even OP can’t criticize or dismiss. That says a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing is more cringe-y than a second wedding pretending to be a first (real) wedding.

Wow, the bitterness on this board is amazing!! This has nothing to do with the child, this has everything to do with pettiness. Your marriage was "real", but when your ex-husband remarries that is not real??

Not if you take someone's vows seriously "til death do us part"? How humiliating to stand up in front of the same people who watched you promise that the first time, and they are all politely pretending that never happened.

[Anonymous]

When you marry someone who already has kids, you need to defer to their ability to attend the wedding if you actually want them to attend. It is the first of many, many times when you will be put second, third, or last. That's just how it is when you choose to marry someone who already has a family.

[Anonymous]

What is special about the first date for the fiancee?