School called me to clean my daughter up because of an accident.

[Anonymous]

So OP, did you yell at your kid and tell her what an inconvenience it was that you had to pick her up??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she being abused or sexually abused at home? Loss of control of bladder and bowel movement in a young ES student is sometimes a symptom of mental, physical or sexual abuse and neglect.

As a teacher, this would be my concern. It is not normal for a kindergarten to pee and poop in her pants.

As a teacher you have serious issues with reading comprehension. She had no accidents before. You are actually jumping to abuse because the kid pooped and peed one time? Sorry, but you suck.

As a teacher, you also don't know your job very well.

Many K students have accidents (that is why you bring in extra clothes) and some are just nervous to do it in a public restroom without their mom or dad. Some hold it in and that is what causes accidents. Some get anxiety, some have diarrhea, some are constipated, and others are so excited or nervous they forget to go. How about food poisoning. Some are told no when they ask one time and never ask again. I could think of at least 100 situations before I jump to getting abused.

I hope your are not in my kid's school.

DP, but OP said “She has 2-3 pee accidents but never poop.” Even urine accidents in a 5 year old can be a sign of sexual abuse.

Nope, not at the first place you look for. All the other signs above are better reasons a child is having issues with bathroom in the school.

Might not be the first place to look, but it is a possibility. I wouldn’t remove if from the list of things to consider. I’m a survivor. Although spoiling myself wasn’t my sign, my parents chose to dismiss another classic sign because they thought sexual abuse was the most unlikely cause. They were wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not normal for a NT 5 yo. Do you mean she has had other pee accidents? Really not not normal at all. Is she SN? You might need to add a plan to her IEP if this is a regular occurrence.

Just because the child has a couple of accidents in a new environment that just happens be more stressful and more rigid than she's used to doesn't mean that the kid is SN or needs an IEP. Plenty of K kids have pee accidents. Its not that uncommon as many of you are making it out to be. We don't know what the kid was doing when this happened or what transpired during the day that could have led to this situation. Op, that's definitely you need to do. Pooping one's pants at this age does seem a little out of the ordinary.

Some schools restrict when even K kids can go to the bathroom. That can be too restrictive for some kids, particularly ones on the younger end of the spectrum. Specials Teachers don't know kids as well as homeroom teachers do and may not know that certain kids need to go when they say they need to go and they shouldn't be made to wait. My youngest had a Specials Teacher that didn't like him because she thought that he was a class clown. When he told her he had to go pee, according to the teacher, she didn't let him go because they were about to transition to another class. She didn't that he's one of the kids that when they tell that they have to go, they have already waited too long and really have to go. He had an accident because she wouldn't let him go to the bathroom.

Guess whose responsibility it is to inform specials teachers that your kid is one who waits too long? Yours. You dropped the ball on that one. My son is the same way, and I made sure I emailed every one of the teachers whose rooms he'd be in during the first week of school in K and 1st grade to let them know that he waits too long before he tells an adult he has to go. We didn't have one issue either year. Teachers aren't mind readers. If you want them to know something, you have to actually, you know, tell them...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not normal for a NT 5 yo. Do you mean she has had other pee accidents? Really not not normal at all. Is she SN? You might need to add a plan to her IEP if this is a regular occurrence.

Just because the child has a couple of accidents in a new environment that just happens be more stressful and more rigid than she's used to doesn't mean that the kid is SN or needs an IEP. Plenty of K kids have pee accidents. Its not that uncommon as many of you are making it out to be. We don't know what the kid was doing when this happened or what transpired during the day that could have led to this situation. Op, that's definitely you need to do. Pooping one's pants at this age does seem a little out of the ordinary.

Some schools restrict when even K kids can go to the bathroom. That can be too restrictive for some kids, particularly ones on the younger end of the spectrum. Specials Teachers don't know kids as well as homeroom teachers do and may not know that certain kids need to go when they say they need to go and they shouldn't be made to wait. My youngest had a Specials Teacher that didn't like him because she thought that he was a class clown. When he told her he had to go pee, according to the teacher, she didn't let him go because they were about to transition to another class. She didn't that he's one of the kids that when they tell that they have to go, they have already waited too long and really have to go. He had an accident because she wouldn't let him go to the bathroom.

Guess whose responsibility it is to inform specials teachers that your kid is one who waits too long? Yours. You dropped the ball on that one. My son is the same way, and I made sure I emailed every one of the teachers whose rooms he'd be in during the first week of school in K and 1st grade to let them know that he waits too long before he tells an adult he has to go. We didn't have one issue either year. Teachers aren't mind readers. If you want them to know something, you have to actually, you know, tell them...

EVERY kid waits to long to ask. That is not an email that needs to be sent to the PE teacher who sees hundreds of kids every week. LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not normal for a NT 5 yo. Do you mean she has had other pee accidents? Really not not normal at all. Is she SN? You might need to add a plan to her IEP if this is a regular occurrence.

Just because the child has a couple of accidents in a new environment that just happens be more stressful and more rigid than she's used to doesn't mean that the kid is SN or needs an IEP. Plenty of K kids have pee accidents. Its not that uncommon as many of you are making it out to be. We don't know what the kid was doing when this happened or what transpired during the day that could have led to this situation. Op, that's definitely you need to do. Pooping one's pants at this age does seem a little out of the ordinary.

Some schools restrict when even K kids can go to the bathroom. That can be too restrictive for some kids, particularly ones on the younger end of the spectrum. Specials Teachers don't know kids as well as homeroom teachers do and may not know that certain kids need to go when they say they need to go and they shouldn't be made to wait. My youngest had a Specials Teacher that didn't like him because she thought that he was a class clown. When he told her he had to go pee, according to the teacher, she didn't let him go because they were about to transition to another class. She didn't that he's one of the kids that when they tell that they have to go, they have already waited too long and really have to go. He had an accident because she wouldn't let him go to the bathroom.

Guess whose responsibility it is to inform specials teachers that your kid is one who waits too long? Yours. You dropped the ball on that one. My son is the same way, and I made sure I emailed every one of the teachers whose rooms he'd be in during the first week of school in K and 1st grade to let them know that he waits too long before he tells an adult he has to go. We didn't have one issue either year. Teachers aren't mind readers. If you want them to know something, you have to actually, you know, tell them...

EVERY kid waits to long to ask. That is not an email that needs to be sent to the PE teacher who sees hundreds of kids every week. LOL

Why not? So you can blame it on the teacher when your kid has an accident even though you decided it wasn't important enough to inform them?

[Anonymous]

I am not sure who is more crazy. The OP who doesn’t feel like getting her daughter or the teacher who thinks the kid is being sexually abused. WTF? I was a K teacher aid for 2 years and dealt with a bunch of accidents. There was also another kid who ended up with a partial bowel obstruction from holding it in too much. Some kids have anxieties about bathroom issues and others have bathroom issues because of generalized anxiety. But most are nervous and don’t want to ask to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not normal for a NT 5 yo. Do you mean she has had other pee accidents? Really not not normal at all. Is she SN? You might need to add a plan to her IEP if this is a regular occurrence.

Just because the child has a couple of accidents in a new environment that just happens be more stressful and more rigid than she's used to doesn't mean that the kid is SN or needs an IEP. Plenty of K kids have pee accidents. Its not that uncommon as many of you are making it out to be. We don't know what the kid was doing when this happened or what transpired during the day that could have led to this situation. Op, that's definitely you need to do. Pooping one's pants at this age does seem a little out of the ordinary.

Some schools restrict when even K kids can go to the bathroom. That can be too restrictive for some kids, particularly ones on the younger end of the spectrum. Specials Teachers don't know kids as well as homeroom teachers do and may not know that certain kids need to go when they say they need to go and they shouldn't be made to wait. My youngest had a Specials Teacher that didn't like him because she thought that he was a class clown. When he told her he had to go pee, according to the teacher, she didn't let him go because they were about to transition to another class. She didn't that he's one of the kids that when they tell that they have to go, they have already waited too long and really have to go. He had an accident because she wouldn't let him go to the bathroom.

Guess whose responsibility it is to inform specials teachers that your kid is one who waits too long? Yours. You dropped the ball on that one. My son is the same way, and I made sure I emailed every one of the teachers whose rooms he'd be in during the first week of school in K and 1st grade to let them know that he waits too long before he tells an adult he has to go. We didn't have one issue either year. Teachers aren't mind readers. If you want them to know something, you have to actually, you know, tell them...

EVERY kid waits to long to ask. That is not an email that needs to be sent to the PE teacher who sees hundreds of kids every week. LOL

Why not? So you can blame it on the teacher when your kid has an accident even though you decided it wasn't important enough to inform them?

It is called an accident for a reason. I would NEVER blame a teacher for it. How about you teach YOUR kid not to wait until the last possible minute to ask, instead of telling all their special teachers to deal with it and remember your email. Give me a break. There are times in transitions and important discussions the kids can’t go. They are given multiple options a day to go. Teach your child to go then and ask as soon as he feels it. That is your job as a parent before K even starts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not normal for a NT 5 yo. Do you mean she has had other pee accidents? Really not not normal at all. Is she SN? You might need to add a plan to her IEP if this is a regular occurrence.

Just because the child has a couple of accidents in a new environment that just happens be more stressful and more rigid than she's used to doesn't mean that the kid is SN or needs an IEP. Plenty of K kids have pee accidents. Its not that uncommon as many of you are making it out to be. We don't know what the kid was doing when this happened or what transpired during the day that could have led to this situation. Op, that's definitely you need to do. Pooping one's pants at this age does seem a little out of the ordinary.

Some schools restrict when even K kids can go to the bathroom. That can be too restrictive for some kids, particularly ones on the younger end of the spectrum. Specials Teachers don't know kids as well as homeroom teachers do and may not know that certain kids need to go when they say they need to go and they shouldn't be made to wait. My youngest had a Specials Teacher that didn't like him because she thought that he was a class clown. When he told her he had to go pee, according to the teacher, she didn't let him go because they were about to transition to another class. She didn't that he's one of the kids that when they tell that they have to go, they have already waited too long and really have to go. He had an accident because she wouldn't let him go to the bathroom.

Guess whose responsibility it is to inform specials teachers that your kid is one who waits too long? Yours. You dropped the ball on that one. My son is the same way, and I made sure I emailed every one of the teachers whose rooms he'd be in during the first week of school in K and 1st grade to let them know that he waits too long before he tells an adult he has to go. We didn't have one issue either year. Teachers aren't mind readers. If you want them to know something, you have to actually, you know, tell them...

EVERY kid waits to long to ask. That is not an email that needs to be sent to the PE teacher who sees hundreds of kids every week. LOL

Why not? So you can blame it on the teacher when your kid has an accident even though you decided it wasn't important enough to inform them?

It is called an accident for a reason. I would NEVER blame a teacher for it. How about you teach YOUR kid not to wait until the last possible minute to ask, instead of telling all their special teachers to deal with it and remember your email. Give me a break. There are times in transitions and important discussions the kids can’t go. They are given multiple options a day to go. Teach your child to go then and ask as soon as he feels it. That is your job as a parent before K even starts.

Well, we were working on it as much as we could at home. We didn't know that DS had chronic constipation until he was pretty backed up and it could cause urgency and he wouldn't feel it until it was about to come out. We found that out the summer before he started Kindergarten and it took some time to get him cleaned out and reacclimated to his own body's signals. We worked his pediatrician and GI doc to make sure we were helping him appropriately.

Since I am an elementary school teacher myself and know that there are often limits and rules surrounding going to the bathroom, I wanted to make sure that all of the teachers DS worked with were aware that when he said he needed to go, he needed to *go*.

All of the teachers (classroom and specials) were extremely professional and kind about it, thanked me for letting them know and there was never an issue. We got his constipation under control and it ceased to be an issue at all. But thanks for letting me know what my job as a parent is. I'd certainly be lost without you.

[Anonymous]

OP I hope you take your DD to the pediatrician to discuss possible problems. I wouldn't just dismiss it as anxiety or a normal type of problem. My daughter had the same problem in K, although just with pee accidents. For a while I lectured her about needing to speak up when she had to go, or remembering to stop what she was doing to go to the bathroom. But it turns out she was chronically constipated and had some build up. This made it hard for her to sense the signals when she needed to pee or poop. This is a very common problem and one often overlooked by parents and even some pediatricians. It's pretty traumatic for a kid to have accidents at school, so it was for the best you left work to take her home early. I would treat the situation no differently than if she had gotten sick at school. Inconvenient, but best for the kid. I hope you figure out whatever is causing your daughter to have accidents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not normal for a NT 5 yo. Do you mean she has had other pee accidents? Really not not normal at all. Is she SN? You might need to add a plan to her IEP if this is a regular occurrence.

Just because the child has a couple of accidents in a new environment that just happens be more stressful and more rigid than she's used to doesn't mean that the kid is SN or needs an IEP. Plenty of K kids have pee accidents. Its not that uncommon as many of you are making it out to be. We don't know what the kid was doing when this happened or what transpired during the day that could have led to this situation. Op, that's definitely you need to do. Pooping one's pants at this age does seem a little out of the ordinary.

Some schools restrict when even K kids can go to the bathroom. That can be too restrictive for some kids, particularly ones on the younger end of the spectrum. Specials Teachers don't know kids as well as homeroom teachers do and may not know that certain kids need to go when they say they need to go and they shouldn't be made to wait. My youngest had a Specials Teacher that didn't like him because she thought that he was a class clown. When he told her he had to go pee, according to the teacher, she didn't let him go because they were about to transition to another class. She didn't that he's one of the kids that when they tell that they have to go, they have already waited too long and really have to go. He had an accident because she wouldn't let him go to the bathroom.

Guess whose responsibility it is to inform specials teachers that your kid is one who waits too long? Yours. You dropped the ball on that one. My son is the same way, and I made sure I emailed every one of the teachers whose rooms he'd be in during the first week of school in K and 1st grade to let them know that he waits too long before he tells an adult he has to go. We didn't have one issue either year. Teachers aren't mind readers. If you want them to know something, you have to actually, you know, tell them...

EVERY kid waits to long to ask. That is not an email that needs to be sent to the PE teacher who sees hundreds of kids every week. LOL

Not true. Some ask to go even if they don’t need to. I always asked as soon as I got a sense of needing to. Kids aren’t monoliths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I am not sure who is more crazy. The OP who doesn’t feel like getting her daughter or the teacher who thinks the kid is being sexually abused. WTF? I was a K teacher aid for 2 years and dealt with a bunch of accidents. There was also another kid who ended up with a partial bowel obstruction from holding it in too much. Some kids have anxieties about bathroom issues and others have bathroom issues because of generalized anxiety. But most are nervous and don’t want to ask to go.

Guess what? When teachers are trained to recognize possible signs of abuse, one sign listed is having a bunch of bathroom accidents. If you are a teacher, you know that. You may not put any credence in it. Which is worrisome because if you’ve taught more than a couple years, chances are you have taught a child that was molested and if you keep teaching, you will have several. But they will slip under your radar because you won’t even consider abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not normal for a NT 5 yo. Do you mean she has had other pee accidents? Really not not normal at all. Is she SN? You might need to add a plan to her IEP if this is a regular occurrence.

Just because the child has a couple of accidents in a new environment that just happens be more stressful and more rigid than she's used to doesn't mean that the kid is SN or needs an IEP. Plenty of K kids have pee accidents. Its not that uncommon as many of you are making it out to be. We don't know what the kid was doing when this happened or what transpired during the day that could have led to this situation. Op, that's definitely you need to do. Pooping one's pants at this age does seem a little out of the ordinary.

Some schools restrict when even K kids can go to the bathroom. That can be too restrictive for some kids, particularly ones on the younger end of the spectrum. Specials Teachers don't know kids as well as homeroom teachers do and may not know that certain kids need to go when they say they need to go and they shouldn't be made to wait. My youngest had a Specials Teacher that didn't like him because she thought that he was a class clown. When he told her he had to go pee, according to the teacher, she didn't let him go because they were about to transition to another class. She didn't that he's one of the kids that when they tell that they have to go, they have already waited too long and really have to go. He had an accident because she wouldn't let him go to the bathroom.

Guess whose responsibility it is to inform specials teachers that your kid is one who waits too long? Yours. You dropped the ball on that one. My son is the same way, and I made sure I emailed every one of the teachers whose rooms he'd be in during the first week of school in K and 1st grade to let them know that he waits too long before he tells an adult he has to go. We didn't have one issue either year. Teachers aren't mind readers. If you want them to know something, you have to actually, you know, tell them...

EVERY kid waits to long to ask. That is not an email that needs to be sent to the PE teacher who sees hundreds of kids every week. LOL

Not true. Some ask to go even if they don’t need to. I always asked as soon as I got a sense of needing to. Kids aren’t monoliths.

This was my kid. He realized that he could tell his teacher he had to poop and then miss what ever activity they were doing. He strategically "pooped" during writing. His teacher asked me if he was having a medical issue because of the uptick in pooping. I said not, asked when he was pooping, and we figured out that it was during writing (an activity he hates). She chuckled, I rolled my eyes. The next day DS asked to poop during writing. His teacher said of course but you have to make up any missed work during center time. DS was done in record time and stopped asking to poop.

I appreciated his teacher approaching me when she noticed that there might be an issue. She wanted to make sure I knew what was happening and to see if there was something she should know.

OP: Please take your daughter to the doctor and have her looked at. Maybe she is just fine but you want to check off a possible medical condition. If she doesn't have a medical issue, try and talk to her and find out what is happening. If she is worried about something bathroom related you can probably talk to the teacher and ask for some solutions that might be able to help your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I hope you take your DD to the pediatrician to discuss possible problems. I wouldn't just dismiss it as anxiety or a normal type of problem. My daughter had the same problem in K, although just with pee accidents. For a while I lectured her about needing to speak up when she had to go, or remembering to stop what she was doing to go to the bathroom. But it turns out she was chronically constipated and had some build up. This made it hard for her to sense the signals when she needed to pee or poop. This is a very common problem and one often overlooked by parents and even some pediatricians. It's pretty traumatic for a kid to have accidents at school, so it was for the best you left work to take her home early. I would treat the situation no differently than if she had gotten sick at school. Inconvenient, but best for the kid. I hope you figure out whatever is causing your daughter to have accidents.

My DD was diagnosed with same thing. I’m a SW; yes soiling oneself can be a sign of abuse. However, you always want to rule out medical issues before assuming it’s a mental health or social problem.

[Anonymous]

I think the request was reasonable. Elementary Schools are not equipped to handle poop. Also unless she has special needs, a poop accident at kindergarten would make me suspicious my kid was sick so I wouldn’t want to take him home anyway.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Some posters (and teachers at that) are crazy here. First thing you think of if a child pees or poops is sexual abuse? You rule out other issues like constipation or bladder control or anxiety issues before going there.

My DD who was 5 when in PEP Collab (NT and SN kids) had a pee accident. The teacher didn't jump to conclusions that we abused her like some of you PPs here. Later after asking her they, and we, found out that she did not like using the bathroom stall in ES because it was wet and dirty and she was scared to go by herself. She was used to the preschool bathroom where it was much cleaner and they had just 2 stalls close to the class room. They assigned someone to take her and she never had an accident after that. The teacher came up with a sign system if she really needed to go.

All it takes is a kind teacher to help a child overcome fears and anxiety.

That being said, the OP's reaction is just awful. Who wouldn't want to go get their scared child after a poop accident?