School called me to clean my daughter up because of an accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If spouse earns 8-10x whatever then surely he has the clout to step out for a couple hours for a family emergency.

Sheesh, that's why I worked my butt off before having kids. also make 7 figures. Family first, full stop. Clients can wait, team can cover, calls reschedule. BFD. I feel sorry for people who feel they can't move an hour of work around.

DH is a surgeon and his surgeries can last all day so no, he can’t move an hour of work around.

Yep. Not everyone can just “step out” for an hour or two. Sheesh! There are many many jobs where this is simply not possible except in a dire emergency.

Then both parents in a family shouldn't have these types of jobs. It's simply irresponsible and neglectful to have kids in that case.

Get a job in your discipline where you either have more flexibility or can call the shots more.

[Anonymous]

I’m a kindergarten teacher and while accidents happen on my class occasionally I wouldn’t say they are a regular occurrence or standard.

I have maybe 1-2 accidents a year unless I have a child in my class who is special needs therefor delayed with potty training or has a physical or emotionally issues that causes regular accidents.

If this is abnormal for your daughter I’d assume she is sick. I’ve had children have loose BMs in my room when sick and we send them home.

I cannot assist a child in the bathroom and believe only our school nurse can and only if she has another adult present.

I assume the mess was too much for her to clean herself.

[Anonymous]

This is so sad. The poor kid.

OP you suck as a parent. First, you sent a child who wasn’t potty trained to kindergarten. Second, you’re trying to convince everyone that spoiling yourself is normal. You are such a crappy parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she being abused or sexually abused at home? Loss of control of bladder and bowel movement in a young ES student is sometimes a symptom of mental, physical or sexual abuse and neglect.

As a teacher, this would be my concern. It is not normal for a kindergarten to pee and poop in her pants.

As a teacher you have serious issues with reading comprehension. She had no accidents before. You are actually jumping to abuse because the kid pooped and peed one time? Sorry, but you suck.

As a teacher, you also don't know your job very well.

Many K students have accidents (that is why you bring in extra clothes) and some are just nervous to do it in a public restroom without their mom or dad. Some hold it in and that is what causes accidents. Some get anxiety, some have diarrhea, some are constipated, and others are so excited or nervous they forget to go. How about food poisoning. Some are told no when they ask one time and never ask again. I could think of at least 100 situations before I jump to getting abused.

I hope your are not in my kid's school.

DP, but OP said “She has 2-3 pee accidents but never poop.” Even urine accidents in a 5 year old can be a sign of sexual abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No she is not SN. She has 2-3 pee accidents but never poop. She does have some anxiety surrounding asking to go the the bathroom. Her K class does not have a bathroom in the classroom. They take 3 scheduled bathroom breaks as a class, but she doesn’t always utilize those teams. I wish the teacher would push her to always try during those breaks. I do not think that I should have to come take her home in the middle of the day tho. I’m sure this is something schools nurses are used to.

Why the hell would they be used to it? Go get your kid.

[Anonymous]

I’m curious why OP has such a complete lack of knowledge regarding what schools can and cannot do, what normal child development is at that age, and above all, such a casual attitude towards such a potentially traumatic situation for her child.

Has she no friends here to give her some perspective? Is she a recent transplant from a country that does not school its children at that age? Does she not care about leaving her child to deal with all this in front of potentially mean kids?

Strange.

[Anonymous]

I'm in my 40's and can still point out in my class photo from kindergarten the one and only kid who had an accident. I can still remember it, and a few other highlights from the year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This her first year in school, we did not do preschool. She does not have accidents at home, and hasn’t for years. According to to the teacher, she encourages my DD to try and DD refuses. I talked to her tonight about how she has to try when the teacher tells her to, and she said okay. She did mention there is a boy at her table who laughs at her, and then mentioned another girl who rushes/pushes her when walking down the steps(she does not like stairs) So there definitely could be some anxiety.

-OP

So she went straight from a nanny to kindergarten? She didn't even do half day preschool? You did a great disservice by not preparing her for school. Your poor child.

Simmer down, Margaret. None of my FOUR kids did any type of preschool. They waltzed right into kindergarten and had no problems figuring out the system. They were pumped to go to school and learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering if OP comes from a culture where 5 year olds are not considered to be school aged like we do here (in some cultures kids this age can be somewhat infantilized), so she thinks it's typical for a 5 year old in Kindergarten to have accidents like this.

I have kindergarten students whose parents have always pulled their pants up. They will come out of the bathroom with their pants around their ankles and their hands in the air. It definitely is a cultural thing. These are the same students whose moms come in to feed them at lunch (like baby birds, according to my colleague).

Why are parents allowed to come feed their children at lunch time? How ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This is so sad. The poor kid.

OP you suck as a parent. First, you sent a child who wasn’t potty trained to kindergarten. Second, you’re trying to convince everyone that spoiling yourself is normal. You are such a crappy parent.

Some people should not have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:During music class my daughter had a pee and poop accident. The school called and said that she was too messy and they I would need to come clean her up and honestly it might be best if I we just took her home for her a bath. She in K. I’m really upset that I had to leave work to come get her for what is a very normal accident for a 5yr old. And just to be clear, she had extra clothes in her bag. If this happened often, I would understand, but this is the first time she had a poop accident at school.

The accident is not the big issue. The bolded is. This reminds me of my mother. I vividly remember when she was called to come and get me because I was not feeling well in first grade. She bitched me out and complained the whole way home. First grade. She never attended a school event (ever) complained non-stop about having to buy us clothing, school supplies, and food. Fun times. We were upper middle class.

I NEVER went to her if I had problems. I solved them myself, even huge problems. But not always in a great way. Actually, I never went to anyone for help. I figured if my own mother saw me as a pain in the ass, why would anybody else want to help.

+1 My mother would not even pick me up when I was sick at school. From the age of 8 or 9 I had to walk home on my own and fend for myself until she came home at 6. Trust me OP, kids remember these things.

[Anonymous]

OP, Make sure that your kid has a bowel movement in the morning at home before she goes out for the day. Usually, giving a glass of warm milk or giving prunes at night will help in bowel movements. Also, ask the teacher to insist that your kids go for a bathroom break after breakfast and after lunch. Make her wear loose fitting sweats that she can easily pull up and down. Make her go to the bathroom at home to pee one more time before you step out of your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering if OP comes from a culture where 5 year olds are not considered to be school aged like we do here (in some cultures kids this age can be somewhat infantilized), so she thinks it's typical for a 5 year old in Kindergarten to have accidents like this.

I have kindergarten students whose parents have always pulled their pants up. They will come out of the bathroom with their pants around their ankles and their hands in the air. It definitely is a cultural thing. These are the same students whose moms come in to feed them at lunch (like baby birds, according to my colleague).

Why are parents allowed to come feed their children at lunch time? How ridiculous.

DP. I have seen parents of students as old as TEN spoon-feed their kids in the cafeteria. These students do not have physical disabilities or need assistance with daily living activities. There's not much the school can do to stop the parents as long as their kids are going along with it. I'm surprised the kids aren't mortified; my child is the same age and would never speak to me again if I tried such a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This her first year in school, we did not do preschool. She does not have accidents at home, and hasn’t for years. According to to the teacher, she encourages my DD to try and DD refuses. I talked to her tonight about how she has to try when the teacher tells her to, and she said okay. She did mention there is a boy at her table who laughs at her, and then mentioned another girl who rushes/pushes her when walking down the steps(she does not like stairs) So there definitely could be some anxiety.

-OP

So she went straight from a nanny to kindergarten? She didn't even do half day preschool? You did a great disservice by not preparing her for school. Your poor child.

Simmer down, Margaret. None of my FOUR kids did any type of preschool. They waltzed right into kindergarten and had no problems figuring out the system. They were pumped to go to school and learn.

DP here. My kids went to KG directly from home as I was a SAHM. They never had any kind of preschool or nanny, though we did a number of mommy and me classes. I made sure that they were toilet trained at a young age. So this is not a function of if they went to preschool or not. OP's kid is probably toilet trained otherwise she would keep having accidents. Perhaps the nanny trained her. The issue is twofold - 1) the 5 yr old had a poop accident which is very abnormal if you are not SN or have an infection. A normal parent would be concerned about the shame the kid is feeling and the reason why she had an accident Finally, 2) the attitude of OP is neglectful at best if not downright abusive. Any normal person would be so concerned for the physical and emotional well-being of their child and rush to take them back home, this woman could care less. Some people should not have children.

Now, the fact that a child loses control of her bowels at this age is not without cause. It is a sign of sexual abuse many times. OP, be concerned and rule out this please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she being abused or sexually abused at home? Loss of control of bladder and bowel movement in a young ES student is sometimes a symptom of mental, physical or sexual abuse and neglect.

As a teacher, this would be my concern. It is not normal for a kindergarten to pee and poop in her pants.

As a teacher you have serious issues with reading comprehension. She had no accidents before. You are actually jumping to abuse because the kid pooped and peed one time? Sorry, but you suck.

As a teacher, you also don't know your job very well.

Many K students have accidents (that is why you bring in extra clothes) and some are just nervous to do it in a public restroom without their mom or dad. Some hold it in and that is what causes accidents. Some get anxiety, some have diarrhea, some are constipated, and others are so excited or nervous they forget to go. How about food poisoning. Some are told no when they ask one time and never ask again. I could think of at least 100 situations before I jump to getting abused.

I hope your are not in my kid's school.

DP, but OP said “She has 2-3 pee accidents but never poop.” Even urine accidents in a 5 year old can be a sign of sexual abuse.

Nope, not at the first place you look for. All the other signs above are better reasons a child is having issues with bathroom in the school.