How to not “let yourself go”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone IRL who has a serious career and kids, and who hasn’t let themselves go to some extent, even if it’s just ten extra pounds they can’t seem to lose. There isn’t enough time for everything, something has to give.

+1

When I stayed at home I looked pretty good if I do say so myself. When I went back to work, I swore that I would keep up with my workouts, healthy eating, etc. I'm just way too busy and stressed to deal with it now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I will comment that your 30s really can mean different things for different people. It’s crazy some of the folks I grew up with and how they look 48 now. A lot of it is having multiple children, but if you have money and discipline you can counteract that.

I don’t present as high maintenance, as I wear v little make up, don’t blow our out my hair, and normally wear jeans. But I invest in looking nice.

1) Botox. Say what you will but you want that down to earth, natural skin, naturally pretty, looking your best? Botox.
2) stay slim. This is v important. I don’t mean THIN THIN but slim for your body. What ever weight you naturally fall to, try to stay five pounds under that. I do IF
3) sleep. If you got off your phone you’d sleep. I also set my calendar to go to bed at 9pm twice a week. Like I’d keep a meeting or something. That trick has done wonders for me.
4) orgasm regularly, on your own or with a partner. Everyday before bed after your moisturizer routine.

I'm 46. I've noticed that many women in their 40s actually look better than women in their mid-late 30's. I'm convinced this is because they are now doing more intense procedures, such as botox and fillers. Many women in their 30's seem not to be willing to consider that option until they are at least 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 38 yo SAHM of 3. I've been really strict with myself about maintaining my weight (I still weigh the same as I did on my wedding day) through three pregnancies and I make an effort to get my roots touched up every two weeks.

But other things, I admit, I've let go. I almost never wear makeup. I wear mostly cheap casual clothes from stores like Loft. I got rid of all my old work clothes ages ago. I wear comfy lounge clothes at home.

You know, most of us get our cheap, casual clothes from Target.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drink Water
8 hours of sleep every single day
not a drop of alcohol
yoga
meditation
therapy
facials weekly


Lotion your face and your body daily

No gluten, carbs from a "box", preservatives in food
No fake sugar
no soda
No caffeine
No... none... not a drop of alcohol

only 1 fruit serving a day
many veggies
1 serving a meat a day
no dairy
10 nuts

Many reps of low weights
Run but no more than 5 miles... you end up walking like a duck if you run too much
sit ups, pushups, squats, lunges... every single day

The alcohol and caffeine I'm not willing to do. At some point, who cares if you look good if you can't enjoy life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with letting yourself go? One of the joys of aging is becoming comfortable in your own skin and not giving a flip what others think. Who are you trying to impress anyway?

The same people you're trying to impress when you're younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]I actually think make-up is more important as I age! I can't get away with no eye makeup now that I am in my 30s.[/b] A little eye makeup really helps. Giving up = no eye makeup for me. I look at photos of myself now and think WTF happened to me? My body and hair looks almost the same as pre pregnancy. It's not all about the body ladies. Makeup and skincare make a world of difference.

+1
46 here and this is true. Makeup does become more important as you age. The PP who recommended less makeup as you get older is flat out wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The women who have the nerve to say “I let myself go because I actually love my kids and spend time with them” are so annoying. This is called DC urban MOM. Probably 95% of us here have kids. You aren’t special. You do not prioritize working out or taking care of yourself and that’s why you’ve let yourself go. It’s not that you’re busy and we aren’t (everyone is busy) or that you love your kids and we don’t. You just don’t do it.

Op, I have two kids. I work full time as a teacher. When I turned 30 I started doing Bikini Body Guide workouts in my living room while my kids, who were 5 and 1 at the time, watched tv. That’s how I know women who claim they can’t work out because of kids are full of shit. Yes you can. I did.

I eventually went back to work. I get up by 4 am every single day. I either work our in the morning from 5-6 or I do it when I get home from 5-6. It’s a habit now four years later. I go in my basement and work out.

I eat well 80% of the time. Again, anyone can do this. Some choose not to. They’re not better than anyone else because they eat like hell.

I dress nicely because I work hard and like to. I don’t slum around in yoga pants and baggy tees. It’s not hard to put a little makeup on and take care of your hair.

I don’t do this for anyone but me and that’s probably the main predictor of who will let themselves go and who won’t. I care about myself enough to want to be strong and healthy and capable. I like to look good for me. I’m not willing to compromise on that and then look in the mirror and hate myself.

Make time or don’t. Give a shit about yourself or don’t. That is all it comes down to.

Well you kids watch TV and getting up at 4am is psycho.

I go to bed around 8:30. Get up at 4, drink coffee, read websites, plan or grade for the day, then workout. Your idea of psycho is just kids watching 2 tv shows and basic ass normal self care and being on top of stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drink Water
8 hours of sleep every single day
not a drop of alcohol
yoga
meditation
therapy
facials weekly


Lotion your face and your body daily

No gluten, carbs from a "box", preservatives in food
No fake sugar
no soda
No caffeine
No... none... not a drop of alcohol

only 1 fruit serving a day
many veggies
1 serving a meat a day
no dairy
10 nuts

Many reps of low weights
Run but no more than 5 miles... you end up walking like a duck if you run too much
sit ups, pushups, squats, lunges... every single day

The alcohol and caffeine I'm not willing to do. At some point, who cares if you look good if you can't enjoy life?

Actually... that is the whole point.

Sure if you want to be J.Lo... do the above and then some... but the OP is 32 and really just needs to relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The women who have the nerve to say “I let myself go because I actually love my kids and spend time with them” are so annoying. This is called DC urban MOM. Probably 95% of us here have kids. You aren’t special. You do not prioritize working out or taking care of yourself and that’s why you’ve let yourself go. It’s not that you’re busy and we aren’t (everyone is busy) or that you love your kids and we don’t. You just don’t do it.

Op, I have two kids. I work full time as a teacher. When I turned 30 I started doing Bikini Body Guide workouts in my living room while my kids, who were 5 and 1 at the time, watched tv. That’s how I know women who claim they can’t work out because of kids are full of shit. Yes you can. I did.

I eventually went back to work. I get up by 4 am every single day. I either work our in the morning from 5-6 or I do it when I get home from 5-6. It’s a habit now four years later. I go in my basement and work out.

I eat well 80% of the time. Again, anyone can do this. Some choose not to. They’re not better than anyone else because they eat like hell.

I dress nicely because I work hard and like to. I don’t slum around in yoga pants and baggy tees. It’s not hard to put a little makeup on and take care of your hair.

I don’t do this for anyone but me and that’s probably the main predictor of who will let themselves go and who won’t. I care about myself enough to want to be strong and healthy and capable. I like to look good for me. I’m not willing to compromise on that and then look in the mirror and hate myself.

Make time or don’t. Give a shit about yourself or don’t. That is all it comes down to.

Well you kids watch TV and getting up at 4am is psycho.

I go to bed around 8:30. Get up at 4, drink coffee, read websites, plan or grade for the day, then workout. Your idea of psycho is just kids watching 2 tv shows and basic ass normal self care and being on top of stuff.

Bed at 8:30... r u 5 years old... No sex typical DCUM... but I get my workout in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 38 yo SAHM of 3. I've been really strict with myself about maintaining my weight (I still weigh the same as I did on my wedding day) through three pregnancies and I make an effort to get my roots touched up every two weeks.

But other things, I admit, I've let go. I almost never wear makeup. I wear mostly cheap casual clothes from stores like Loft. I got rid of all my old work clothes ages ago. I wear comfy lounge clothes at home.

You know, most of us get our cheap, casual clothes from Target.

Eh same same. Nobody buys Loft at full price, just wait a week or two and everything is 40-50% off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The women who have the nerve to say “I let myself go because I actually love my kids and spend time with them” are so annoying. This is called DC urban MOM. Probably 95% of us here have kids. You aren’t special. You do not prioritize working out or taking care of yourself and that’s why you’ve let yourself go. It’s not that you’re busy and we aren’t (everyone is busy) or that you love your kids and we don’t. You just don’t do it.

Op, I have two kids. I work full time as a teacher. When I turned 30 I started doing Bikini Body Guide workouts in my living room while my kids, who were 5 and 1 at the time, watched tv. That’s how I know women who claim they can’t work out because of kids are full of shit. Yes you can. I did.

I eventually went back to work. I get up by 4 am every single day. I either work our in the morning from 5-6 or I do it when I get home from 5-6. It’s a habit now four years later. I go in my basement and work out.

I eat well 80% of the time. Again, anyone can do this. Some choose not to. They’re not better than anyone else because they eat like hell.

I dress nicely because I work hard and like to. I don’t slum around in yoga pants and baggy tees. It’s not hard to put a little makeup on and take care of your hair.

I don’t do this for anyone but me and that’s probably the main predictor of who will let themselves go and who won’t. I care about myself enough to want to be strong and healthy and capable. I like to look good for me. I’m not willing to compromise on that and then look in the mirror and hate myself.

Make time or don’t. Give a shit about yourself or don’t. That is all it comes down to.

Well you kids watch TV and getting up at 4am is psycho.

Dp. Who cares if kids watch tv while a parent works out? A 20 HIIT workout even 2 days a week, combined with some strength training and healthful eating does wonders. Waking up at 4 am is not psycho, if that is the only option. At some point, you have to make yourself a priority or you will physically decline beyond repair. Waking early to work out (or spend time for yourself) is absolutely worth it.

No... waking up at 4am is seriously unhealthy and will take it's toll in other ways. Just because your outer body looks good does not mean your mind is good.

I'm not plopping my kids in front of the TV so I can "work out" I will take them for a hike. Which may not give me a beach body but is better for overall health... and I spend time with the kdis.

In life priorities shift... parents get sick.. you gonna do pilates in the hospital room? Jeez, relax... you don't have to maintain such a crazy schedule to not "let yourself go" and really, letting yourself go a little is amuch healthier... body and soul.

NP but come on. You can hike with the kids AND work out - small bursts of TV time is not going to negatively impact your kids. I'd say my entire generation of 80s kids grew up with cartoons and we are all just fine, and my kids don't watch nearly enough tv as I used to after school and on Saturday mornings.

I used to be on the elliptical at 8 pm after I put my three little ones to bed. I'm not a morning person so no 4 am wakes for me, but I did it on the opposite end of my day. And yes, I still played outside with my kids and spent time with them. A hike with my kids simply wouldn't qualify as a workout for me.

You mean the generation that crashed the economy with bad mortgages, brought us Crack and gave us Trump?

Please do not hold the 80's up as anything to model. Diet coke and Marlboro lights was a diet.

It's fine if it is "not a workout for you" but nobody wants to be you.

Your post is defending a woman that posted "The women who have the nerve to say “I let myself go because I actually love my kids and spend time with them” are so annoying"

Go for it... wake at 4.. or cycle at 8pm (when I am cuddling with my kids)... but don't act like you are doing it the right way. It's your way... not the right/wrong way.. it's just a way... not better not worse but dang! NOT BETTER!!

Let your kids eat Lucky Charms while they watch TV while you do your elliptical so your H still likes you ... IDK/IDC, but don't act like it is the "right way".

Your insecurity is as massive as your ass probably is. Now you’re jumping to women who workout hate their kids, feed them only Lucky Charms, and put working out above all else. Did it occur to you we work out before the kids are up or after they’re in bed so we CAN spend the time they’re awake with them? But sure, you and your “hike” in your Crocs are the better model of health... why are you even in this thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see any posts from men about letting themselves go. And I never hear anyone use the phrase "let oneself go" in reference to a man, unless he's a last stage alcoholic.

Yes, because every society that's ever existed has always prized feminine beauty over masculine beauty. And personally, I enjoy being able to "look pretty" as a woman. Maybe the beauty and fashion board isn't the right place for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The women who have the nerve to say “I let myself go because I actually love my kids and spend time with them” are so annoying. This is called DC urban MOM. Probably 95% of us here have kids. You aren’t special. You do not prioritize working out or taking care of yourself and that’s why you’ve let yourself go. It’s not that you’re busy and we aren’t (everyone is busy) or that you love your kids and we don’t. You just don’t do it.

Op, I have two kids. I work full time as a teacher. When I turned 30 I started doing Bikini Body Guide workouts in my living room while my kids, who were 5 and 1 at the time, watched tv. That’s how I know women who claim they can’t work out because of kids are full of shit. Yes you can. I did.

I eventually went back to work. I get up by 4 am every single day. I either work our in the morning from 5-6 or I do it when I get home from 5-6. It’s a habit now four years later. I go in my basement and work out.

I eat well 80% of the time. Again, anyone can do this. Some choose not to. They’re not better than anyone else because they eat like hell.

I dress nicely because I work hard and like to. I don’t slum around in yoga pants and baggy tees. It’s not hard to put a little makeup on and take care of your hair.

I don’t do this for anyone but me and that’s probably the main predictor of who will let themselves go and who won’t. I care about myself enough to want to be strong and healthy and capable. I like to look good for me. I’m not willing to compromise on that and then look in the mirror and hate myself.

Make time or don’t. Give a shit about yourself or don’t. That is all it comes down to.

Well you kids watch TV and getting up at 4am is psycho.

I go to bed around 8:30. Get up at 4, drink coffee, read websites, plan or grade for the day, then workout. Your idea of psycho is just kids watching 2 tv shows and basic ass normal self care and being on top of stuff.

Bed at 8:30... r u 5 years old... No sex typical DCUM... but I get my workout in.

I go to bed early... so I can wake up early..... and get shit done.

A SAHM who won’t leave her kids alone for 5 seconds so she can justify being overweight and skinny might not understand how that works. Also, I never said I was married so pretty weird of you to assume I’m in a sexless marriage because I bother to workout.

[Anonymous]

I didn't read all of the prior responses, but as someone who let herself go, I would say that you are wise to start thinking about this now. The single most important thing I would say that you can do is to prioritize your sleep. When you are well-rested, you have more energy and you think, eat, and work better. The biggest mistake I made was cutting too many corners on making sure that I was well rested, and things declined from there. Looking back, I should have demanded more of my husband done less volunteering, worked fewer hours, and made self-care more of a priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The women who have the nerve to say “I let myself go because I actually love my kids and spend time with them” are so annoying. This is called DC urban MOM. Probably 95% of us here have kids. You aren’t special. You do not prioritize working out or taking care of yourself and that’s why you’ve let yourself go. It’s not that you’re busy and we aren’t (everyone is busy) or that you love your kids and we don’t. You just don’t do it.

Op, I have two kids. I work full time as a teacher. When I turned 30 I started doing Bikini Body Guide workouts in my living room while my kids, who were 5 and 1 at the time, watched tv. That’s how I know women who claim they can’t work out because of kids are full of shit. Yes you can. I did.

I eventually went back to work. I get up by 4 am every single day. I either work our in the morning from 5-6 or I do it when I get home from 5-6. It’s a habit now four years later. I go in my basement and work out.

I eat well 80% of the time. Again, anyone can do this. Some choose not to. They’re not better than anyone else because they eat like hell.

I dress nicely because I work hard and like to. I don’t slum around in yoga pants and baggy tees. It’s not hard to put a little makeup on and take care of your hair.

I don’t do this for anyone but me and that’s probably the main predictor of who will let themselves go and who won’t. I care about myself enough to want to be strong and healthy and capable. I like to look good for me. I’m not willing to compromise on that and then look in the mirror and hate myself.

Make time or don’t. Give a shit about yourself or don’t. That is all it comes down to.

Well you kids watch TV and getting up at 4am is psycho.

Dp. Who cares if kids watch tv while a parent works out? A 20 HIIT workout even 2 days a week, combined with some strength training and healthful eating does wonders. Waking up at 4 am is not psycho, if that is the only option. At some point, you have to make yourself a priority or you will physically decline beyond repair. Waking early to work out (or spend time for yourself) is absolutely worth it.

No... waking up at 4am is seriously unhealthy and will take it's toll in other ways. Just because your outer body looks good does not mean your mind is good.

I'm not plopping my kids in front of the TV so I can "work out" I will take them for a hike. Which may not give me a beach body but is better for overall health... and I spend time with the kdis.

In life priorities shift... parents get sick.. you gonna do pilates in the hospital room? Jeez, relax... you don't have to maintain such a crazy schedule to not "let yourself go" and really, letting yourself go a little is amuch healthier... body and soul.

NP but come on. You can hike with the kids AND work out - small bursts of TV time is not going to negatively impact your kids. I'd say my entire generation of 80s kids grew up with cartoons and we are all just fine, and my kids don't watch nearly enough tv as I used to after school and on Saturday mornings.

I used to be on the elliptical at 8 pm after I put my three little ones to bed. I'm not a morning person so no 4 am wakes for me, but I did it on the opposite end of my day. And yes, I still played outside with my kids and spent time with them. A hike with my kids simply wouldn't qualify as a workout for me.

You mean the generation that crashed the economy with bad mortgages, brought us Crack and gave us Trump?

Please do not hold the 80's up as anything to model. Diet coke and Marlboro lights was a diet.

It's fine if it is "not a workout for you" but nobody wants to be you.

Your post is defending a woman that posted "The women who have the nerve to say “I let myself go because I actually love my kids and spend time with them” are so annoying"

Go for it... wake at 4.. or cycle at 8pm (when I am cuddling with my kids)... but don't act like you are doing it the right way. It's your way... not the right/wrong way.. it's just a way... not better not worse but dang! NOT BETTER!!

Let your kids eat Lucky Charms while they watch TV while you do your elliptical so your H still likes you ... IDK/IDC, but don't act like it is the "right way".

Your insecurity is as massive as your ass probably is. Now you’re jumping to women who workout hate their kids, feed them only Lucky Charms, and put working out above all else. Did it occur to you we work out before the kids are up or after they’re in bed so we CAN spend the time they’re awake with them? But sure, you and your “hike” in your Crocs are the better model of health... why are you even in this thread?

I don't care what you do with your kids but stop acting like it is a play book on how to parent or be a wife/person.

You are attacking women who said... I'd rather spend time with my kids than go work out.