How do you not feel guilty when spouse is working and you're not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’ve posted on DCUM before, OP. I recognize your flexible job combined with significant personal net worth, etc. You could not imagine being a sahm, blah blah blah. Get over yourself.

Yes!! Thank you. Perhaps you need to ramp up the job or find some other worthwhile activities to fill your days, because this particular "hobby" is pretty lame and uninteresting

Not only has she posted on dcum before, she has consistently posted in a way intended to drum up mommy wars. She definitely has issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why send the kids away this week? Why not BE WITH them?

Why don't you share your inheritance? I shared my inheritance, so I'm not richer than my spouse.

Can you answer this, OP?

Not sure what you mean (this is OP, haven’t been on today, not sure who other posters are talking about but many women with personal net worth choose to work and especially in nonprofit environments - there are 2 in similar situations in my office alone. Also think some of you don’t understand the definition of troll.. ??)

I share with him in that I paid off his loans and bought the home we live in in cash in both our names (essentially giving him 500k). Our wills are detailed, but the inherited accounts would go largely to my children with him and my brother (who inherited an equal amount and manages it similarly) as co-trustees. It’s family money I didn’t earn and if something happened to me and he were to remarry etc, I’d want it to go to my children. He has no issue at all with that. Our salaries and dividends from inheritance are deposited into a joint account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why send the kids away this week? Why not BE WITH them?

Why don't you share your inheritance? I shared my inheritance, so I'm not richer than my spouse.

Can you answer this, OP?

Not sure what you mean (this is OP, haven’t been on today, not sure who other posters are talking about but many women with personal net worth choose to work and especially in nonprofit environments - there are 2 in similar situations in my office alone. Also think some of you don’t understand the definition of troll.. ??)

I share with him in that I paid off his loans and bought the home we live in in cash in both our names (essentially giving him 500k). Our wills are detailed, but the inherited accounts would go largely to my children with him and my brother (who inherited an equal amount and manages it similarly) as co-trustees. It’s family money I didn’t earn and if something happened to me and he were to remarry etc, I’d want it to go to my children. He has no issue at all with that. Our salaries and dividends from inheritance are deposited into a joint account.

So this guy lives in a house that is completely paid for, and for which he owns 500K in equity, has no student loans, has children who are basically taken care of financial. All he might(a big might) have to worry about is saving for his and only his retirement.

And you feel guilty when you are home for a week while he works.

Go sit down somewhere OP with your dramatic attention seeking self!

[Anonymous]

How big was the inheritance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why send the kids away this week? Why not BE WITH them?

Why don't you share your inheritance? I shared my inheritance, so I'm not richer than my spouse.

Can you answer this, OP?

Not sure what you mean (this is OP, haven’t been on today, not sure who other posters are talking about but many women with personal net worth choose to work and especially in nonprofit environments - there are 2 in similar situations in my office alone. Also think some of you don’t understand the definition of troll.. ??)

I share with him in that I paid off his loans and bought the home we live in in cash in both our names (essentially giving him 500k). Our wills are detailed, but the inherited accounts would go largely to my children with him and my brother (who inherited an equal amount and manages it similarly) as co-trustees. It’s family money I didn’t earn and if something happened to me and he were to remarry etc, I’d want it to go to my children. He has no issue at all with that. Our salaries and dividends from inheritance are deposited into a joint account.

Yes, op, there are many women with inherited money and flexible jobs who start mommy war threads on a regular basis. Do you realize how stupid that sounds? Find a real hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think one person has answered the question posed.

No, because SAHMs are really defensive. Blah, blah, blah...I do so much...whine whine whine.

Save it ladies, I do all the stuff you do and work 3/4 time. I take my kids to school and to their activities. I help them with their homework. I actually clean my own house. And I love my job. Lucky me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve learned to not feel guilty over things that men would not feel guilty over.

I love this answer more than any I have seen before on one of these dumba** mommy war threads.

Thread over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve learned to not feel guilty over things that men would not feel guilty over.

I love this answer more than any I have seen before on one of these dumba** mommy war threads.

Thread over.

PP here, thanks!!

I strongly believe women would run this world if we weren’t so busy guilt tripping and tearing each other down over things that men don’t give an eff about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve learned to not feel guilty over things that men would not feel guilty over.

I love this answer more than any I have seen before on one of these dumba** mommy war threads.

Thread over.

Plus 1000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think one person has answered the question posed.

No, because SAHMs are really defensive. Blah, blah, blah...I do so much...whine whine whine.

Save it ladies, I do all the stuff you do and work 3/4 time. I take my kids to school and to their activities. I help them with their homework. I actually clean my own house. And I love my job. Lucky me.

Meh! You are a workhorse. You win. I don't wanna be in your shoes, Henry the Horse!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do I feel guilty? No. DH obviously feels lucky to be married to me and will bankroll this gravy train I am on. Maybe its my beauty, maybe its my personality but I am not slaving away no more in the American workplace.

If I get equal pay as male workers, paid maternity leave, non-hostile and non-sexist work environment, work flexibility and ability to telecommute, supportive coworkers and boss, no sexual harrassment, no mommy track, interesting work and a chance to climb the corporate ladder based on the quality of work, I will think about going back to work for pay. In the meanwhile, I got a high earner and a great marriage - I am staying right on my sofa eating kale and bonbons.

I completely agree with you. It's your choice to make.

OP and all the other judgmental closeminded WOHMs on this borad do not speak for any working mom that I know.

The people who can not hack it in the work place or in life always has a ready excuse. Oh life is hard, I did not get the promotion because of sexism....let me give up...I will marry a male oppressor, stay on my sofa and post about how hard and unfair the real world is because of all the male oppression..though you know it’s not them it’s you...you just could not hack....bet you are one of those emotional labor posters. Let’s face it, if a male was in your place you would be the first to call him a loser. Take a hard look at your life and know your husband married a quitter who thinks she is entitled to everything.

Ha ha! According to your logic, my husband is an oppressor and is oppressing me by letting me quit and catering to my sense of entitlement.

I love the way he oppresses me and I hope he continues to oppress me forever.

In the meanwhile, your rabid froth that is foaming out of your mouth and the incoherent rant is making me feel that you are a very underappreciated, underpaid, overworked, unhappily married woman who is failing big time as a mother. Get a grip! You do not have enough time in your day to take care of your kids so please do not waste it on DCUM. If you are home, spend that time with your husband and kids and go clean the mess of a house you live in.

[Anonymous]

Go to the "JOB" forum, Most WOHMs posting there are unhappy with their work situation. LOLZ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are one judgemental, self righteous busybody...

+1

Why though? Seriously. This is OP, and no need to be defensive. I have no idea why I feel this way and others don't, and am curious. Not exactly something I can ask in real life.

Do you not have a value beyond money? Your money and position means so much to you that you feel guilty about a week off.

That's what I get from your post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are one judgemental, self righteous busybody...

+1

Why though? Seriously. This is OP, and no need to be defensive. I have no idea why I feel this way and others don't, and am curious. Not exactly something I can ask in real life.

Do you not have a value beyond money? Your money and position means so much to you that you feel guilty about a week off.

That's what I get from your post.

To answer your question. I see no need for guilt. This is what we agreed to. Why would I feel guilty over that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to the "JOB" forum, Most WOHMs posting there are unhappy with their work situation. LOLZ.

And most people posting in the relationships forum are unhappy with their relationships, most people posting in the parenting forums have kids/parenting issues that are causing them worry/stress, most people who post in the family relationships forum have issues with at least one family member, etc.

Happy people with few problems rarely flock to these types of forums.