<vent> Why does DH always think we'll have sex when he comes back from business trips?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand this thinking that women are just blow up dolls who should put out whenever their husbands want. Do you really want to have sex with someone who is tired, cranky, and just plain not in the mood?

This is where compromise comes in. Obviously when your partner isn't receptive it's time to wait. Don't force it, totally pathetic and unwanted. It's like dating, you know who is interested and who is not. The signals are usually pretty clear. Step back and be respectful. Wait for a better time. Sex is about both, not just one getting off.

Exactly

OK. How often does wife compromise and have sex when she doesn't really feel like it but know DH does? I'll wait. (And if your answer is "every single time" then you have issues and I feel sad that you're in such a sorry marriage.)

Why does the wife never feel like having sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you couples who still want to have sex with each other, I am dying to know your secret.

- a DW who is over sex.

There is no secret! We've been married over 30 years, are best friends, still in love and we both have always enjoyed sex. I know my DH would like to have sex 2-3 times a week but he understands that for me it can be uncomfortable more than 1-2 times a week. We both take care of ourselves physically so the physical attraction is still there. We are both lucky that our parents had very happy marriages for over 60 years and it's something we'd like to achieve.

But how do you stay in love?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you couples who still want to have sex with each other, I am dying to know your secret.

- a DW who is over sex.

There is no secret! We've been married over 30 years, are best friends, still in love and we both have always enjoyed sex. I know my DH would like to have sex 2-3 times a week but he understands that for me it can be uncomfortable more than 1-2 times a week. We both take care of ourselves physically so the physical attraction is still there. We are both lucky that our parents had very happy marriages for over 60 years and it's something we'd like to achieve.

Gross. You know your parents were having sex for 60+ years?

Why is that gross?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you couples who still want to have sex with each other, I am dying to know your secret.

- a DW who is over sex.

Why are you over sex?

Get me out of the house, to a hotel and I am game. Doing it in the marital bed, with the kids in the next room, with the same person, with a ton of things on my mind. Not so much. Oh, and I have an O every time, my husband is good at that department.

I totally understand the appeal of lesbian bed death.

So you have no physical sex drive, it's all just situational for you? That's so weird. I am a cranky beyotch regardless of the circumstances if I haven't had an O in a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you couples who still want to have sex with each other, I am dying to know your secret.

- a DW who is over sex.

Why are you over sex?

Get me out of the house, to a hotel and I am game. Doing it in the marital bed, with the kids in the next room, with the same person, with a ton of things on my mind. Not so much. Oh, and I have an O every time, my husband is good at that department.

I totally understand the appeal of lesbian bed death.

+100000

It's awesome to go through life not constantly jonesing for sex. 10/10 would recommend

What do you crave instead? Shopping? What else gives you the same high?

[Anonymous]

This thread is cray-cray.

OP, when your DH starts coming back from his trips and ISN'T interested in you, that's when you have a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you couples who still want to have sex with each other, I am dying to know your secret.

- a DW who is over sex.

There is no secret! We've been married over 30 years, are best friends, still in love and we both have always enjoyed sex. I know my DH would like to have sex 2-3 times a week but he understands that for me it can be uncomfortable more than 1-2 times a week. We both take care of ourselves physically so the physical attraction is still there. We are both lucky that our parents had very happy marriages for over 60 years and it's something we'd like to achieve.

Gross. You know your parents were having sex for 60+ years?

Why is that gross?

NP, the PP didn't say they were having sex for 60+ years, the PP says they had very happy marriages.
However, I agree, this isn't gross. Although, is it about knowing - acknowledging that your parents have sex or is it about geriatric sex?

The "gross" pp is mistaken, because neither of those things is gross. That pp is just limited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you couples who still want to have sex with each other, I am dying to know your secret.

- a DW who is over sex.

There is no secret! We've been married over 30 years, are best friends, still in love and we both have always enjoyed sex. I know my DH would like to have sex 2-3 times a week but he understands that for me it can be uncomfortable more than 1-2 times a week. We both take care of ourselves physically so the physical attraction is still there. We are both lucky that our parents had very happy marriages for over 60 years and it's something we'd like to achieve.

Gross. You know your parents were having sex for 60+ years?

Why is that gross?

They should keep that information private. No one wants to think of Granny and Pappy rubbing uglies.

[Anonymous]

I suspect that a number of women who are "low drive" just don't enjoy sex with their DH. Likely, chemistry was one of the compromises that they had to make in finding a mate.

If a guy is fit/muscular, well endowed and good at making her O then I bet that sex will still be the one thing that works even when the rest of the relationship is in shambles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you couples who still want to have sex with each other, I am dying to know your secret.

- a DW who is over sex.

There is no secret! We've been married over 30 years, are best friends, still in love and we both have always enjoyed sex. I know my DH would like to have sex 2-3 times a week but he understands that for me it can be uncomfortable more than 1-2 times a week. We both take care of ourselves physically so the physical attraction is still there. We are both lucky that our parents had very happy marriages for over 60 years and it's something we'd like to achieve.

Gross. You know your parents were having sex for 60+ years?

Why is that gross?

NP, the PP didn't say they were having sex for 60+ years, the PP says they had very happy marriages.
However, I agree, this isn't gross. Although, is it about knowing - acknowledging that your parents have sex or is it about geriatric sex?

The "gross" pp is mistaken, because neither of those things is gross. That pp is just limited.

PP implied sex for 60 years. Happy = sex.

Otherwise it was completely non sequitur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you couples who still want to have sex with each other, I am dying to know your secret.

- a DW who is over sex.

Why are you over sex?

Get me out of the house, to a hotel and I am game. Doing it in the marital bed, with the kids in the next room, with the same person, with a ton of things on my mind. Not so much. Oh, and I have an O every time, my husband is good at that department.

I totally understand the appeal of lesbian bed death.

Are you serious? The sex is good you have an O every time and you are over sex??? I really don't get that. I miss having sex so much (div.) and think you are so lucky.

What is stopping you, did you lose both hands in an accident?

+1000

Jerk off and get over it. You aren't entitled to sex

And you aren't entitled to a faithful spouse

And you aren't entitled to all of your assets in a divorce.

But after we spit the assets and kids 50/50 while you are officially another divorced older woman, I am entitled to immediately start dating every hot thing 12 years younger and 20 pounds thinner than you. I win.

Wouldn't it be much easier to just "fake it" 2X per week like most successful wives have been doing since the invention of marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you couples who still want to have sex with each other, I am dying to know your secret.

- a DW who is over sex.

Why are you over sex?

Get me out of the house, to a hotel and I am game. Doing it in the marital bed, with the kids in the next room, with the same person, with a ton of things on my mind. Not so much. Oh, and I have an O every time, my husband is good at that department.

I totally understand the appeal of lesbian bed death.

Are you serious? The sex is good you have an O every time and you are over sex??? I really don't get that. I miss having sex so much (div.) and think you are so lucky.

What is stopping you, did you lose both hands in an accident?

+1000

Jerk off and get over it. You aren't entitled to sex

And you aren't entitled to a faithful spouse

And you aren't entitled to all of your assets in a divorce.

But after we spit the assets and kids 50/50 while you are officially another divorced older woman, I am entitled to immediately start dating every hot thing 12 years younger and 20 pounds thinner than you. I win.

Wouldn't it be much easier to just "fake it" 2X per week like most successful wives have been doing since the invention of marriage?

Meh. Still better off than being in a relationship with an a-hole who thinks cheating is ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you couples who still want to have sex with each other, I am dying to know your secret.

- a DW who is over sex.

Why are you over sex?

Get me out of the house, to a hotel and I am game. Doing it in the marital bed, with the kids in the next room, with the same person, with a ton of things on my mind. Not so much. Oh, and I have an O every time, my husband is good at that department.

I totally understand the appeal of lesbian bed death.

Are you serious? The sex is good you have an O every time and you are over sex??? I really don't get that. I miss having sex so much (div.) and think you are so lucky.

What is stopping you, did you lose both hands in an accident?

+1000

Jerk off and get over it. You aren't entitled to sex

And you aren't entitled to a faithful spouse

And you aren't entitled to all of your assets in a divorce.

But after we spit the assets and kids 50/50 while you are officially another divorced older woman, I am entitled to immediately start dating every hot thing 12 years younger and 20 pounds thinner than you. I win.

Wouldn't it be much easier to just "fake it" 2X per week like most successful wives have been doing since the invention of marriage?

Meh. Still better off than being in a relationship with an a-hole who thinks cheating is ok.

I don't think cheating is OK.
But it is equally dispicable to sexually reject your spouse.
You started these bad behaviors, expect consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you couples who still want to have sex with each other, I am dying to know your secret.

- a DW who is over sex.

Why are you over sex?

Get me out of the house, to a hotel and I am game. Doing it in the marital bed, with the kids in the next room, with the same person, with a ton of things on my mind. Not so much. Oh, and I have an O every time, my husband is good at that department.

I totally understand the appeal of lesbian bed death.

Are you serious? The sex is good you have an O every time and you are over sex??? I really don't get that. I miss having sex so much (div.) and think you are so lucky.

What is stopping you, did you lose both hands in an accident?

+1000

Jerk off and get over it. You aren't entitled to sex

Works for women too, btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suspect that a number of women who are "low drive" just don't enjoy sex with their DH. Likely, chemistry was one of the compromises that they had to make in finding a mate.

If a guy is fit/muscular, well endowed and good at making her O then I bet that sex will still be the one thing that works even when the rest of the relationship is in shambles.

Can we let this myth die. Like, the myth that every woman who was cheated on was asking for it because she was cold and frigid.

Not every woman craves sex daily. Not every woman has an on/off switch and can magically switch it on when their husband gets home. I have a hot, hung, muscular husband who wants sex all the time, and it's hard for me to meet him in the middle. We are working on it, our marriage is on the line. I wish I was flooded with testosterone or whatever else you high drive women have. We used to have awesome sex prior to marriage. I didn't compromise on mate selection. I have a husband who is the envy of my friends. I just don't turn on as easily as the vixens on this board and I am supremely jealous of all of you.