Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I WOH FT. I pick my kid up at daycare, go home, bathe him, then make dinner. My husband shows up about the time dinner is getting on the table.

On the weekends, I cook dinner while my toddler is napping. What do you do while your baby naps, OP?

When does your DH cook?

He doesn't.

Wow - at all? Does he handle all of the cleaning or laundry then?

Nope.

Sounds like you should start your own thread. Yikes!

Why?

Sounds like he's not contributing to household work at all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I WOH FT. I pick my kid up at daycare, go home, bathe him, then make dinner. My husband shows up about the time dinner is getting on the table.

On the weekends, I cook dinner while my toddler is napping. What do you do while your baby naps, OP?

For AM nap, I shower, get dressed, make bed, wipe down high chair, vacuum DS breakfast mess, empty the dishwasher, load any bottles/dirty dishes, gather up dirty diapers and take out trash, put away laundry from night before and get a new load started, wipe down master bath (just a quick swish and swipe of toilet and sink) and powder room, reset the diaper bag for an outing (replenish snacks,clothes,diapers-throw out any trash/dirty clothes etc), put away DS's toys. For PM nap, I check email, mail, deal with any bills or paperwork, maybe call my mom, then I have about 30 mins to myself, where I could ostensibly prepare a meal.

So chatting with you mom and chasing emails aren't time for yourself?

You can easily chop veggies, etc. While on the phone. I do it all the time.

I really don't see anything on yr daily list that is preventing you from making a meal, really. You just don't want to. The list of cleaning stuff is pretty minor... I get most of that done before leaving for work, and that's even if I slept in. A lot of it could be done with your sone awake and playing in the room with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"What's your damage, Heather?" Yes, most stay at home moms cook dinner for the family. I don't say this to be rude, but if you ate healthier than a diet Coke and baked potato you might have more energy.

Why not eat your cheese and crackers for lunch but then make a balanced, nutritious meal for yourself and your husband so you can reconnect after being apart all day? It's really shitty that after being "on" at work all day he turned around and had to go to the grocery store.

Why is it shitty though? We are both working all day. We start our days at the same time, around 6 am. Except his job involves going to the office. My job involves the work of caring for the child (and prepping 4 meals a day for him btw). When we were both working at an office -a mere 11 months ago-there wasn't the expectation that I make meals 5x per week. We both just managed-went out, grabbed something on the way home, each of cooked when we felt like etc. but now that my "workplace" is in the house I am in charge of dinner every night...

I do keep the house spotless and do all the cleaning, just because I like a clean house, but in theory I think that should also be a shared responsibility.

I could see once our son starts spending a few hours a day in school or pre-k, but right now we are "working" the same hours (6pm is when baby goes down and when DS goes to sleep). So why isn't dinner a shared responsibility?

What do you do when the baby naps?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH makes more in an hour than I could make in a week. so, yes, he gets to not do some jobs in the home.

Wtf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I WOH FT. I pick my kid up at daycare, go home, bathe him, then make dinner. My husband shows up about the time dinner is getting on the table.

On the weekends, I cook dinner while my toddler is napping. What do you do while your baby naps, OP?

For AM nap, I shower, get dressed, make bed, wipe down high chair, vacuum DS breakfast mess, empty the dishwasher, load any bottles/dirty dishes, gather up dirty diapers and take out trash, put away laundry from night before and get a new load started, wipe down master bath (just a quick swish and swipe of toilet and sink) and powder room, reset the diaper bag for an outing (replenish snacks,clothes,diapers-throw out any trash/dirty clothes etc), put away DS's toys. For PM nap, I check email, mail, deal with any bills or paperwork, maybe call my mom, then I have about 30 mins to myself, where I could ostensibly prepare a meal.

So chatting with you mom and chasing emails aren't time for yourself?

You can easily chop veggies, etc. While on the phone. I do it all the time.

I really don't see anything on yr daily list that is preventing you from making a meal, really. You just don't want to. The list of cleaning stuff is pretty minor... I get most of that done before leaving for work, and that's even if I slept in. A lot of it could be done with your sone awake and playing in the room with you.

This. I'm trying to picture what life looks like when you are 100% focused on your child every moment he is awake. When does he learn to occupy himself? You really can go about your business while he explores a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I WOH FT. I pick my kid up at daycare, go home, bathe him, then make dinner. My husband shows up about the time dinner is getting on the table.

On the weekends, I cook dinner while my toddler is napping. What do you do while your baby naps, OP?

For AM nap, I shower, get dressed, make bed, wipe down high chair, vacuum DS breakfast mess, empty the dishwasher, load any bottles/dirty dishes, gather up dirty diapers and take out trash, put away laundry from night before and get a new load started, wipe down master bath (just a quick swish and swipe of toilet and sink) and powder room, reset the diaper bag for an outing (replenish snacks,clothes,diapers-throw out any trash/dirty clothes etc), put away DS's toys. For PM nap, I check email, mail, deal with any bills or paperwork, maybe call my mom, then I have about 30 mins to myself, where I could ostensibly prepare a meal.

Try this:

6 AM Wake up, make bed, shower, get dressed (before DH leaves for work)
630 AM Breakfast, clean up (including loading dishwasher--leave baby in high chair and talk to him while cleaning)
7 AM-10AM Whatever activities you have planned
10AM Baby naps. Pick up. Fold laundry. Repack diaper bag.
11 AM Activity time
Noon Lunch, clean up and lunch dishes (leaving baby in high chair)
1 PM Baby naps again. Throw a load of laundry in. Check email. Fart around on DCUM. Call your mom. Prep dinner. Put prep dishes in the dishwasher. Move laundry to dryer.
3 PM Another activity
5 PM Put baby in high chair, throw prepped dinner into oven. Remove baby from high chair, give baby bath while dinner cooks.
530 or 6 PM. Eat.
630 or 7 PM Bedtime routine. (whichever parent isn't doing it can load the dishes into the dishwasher and run it)
730 PM. Fold laundry. Clean bathrooms. Pay bills. Do any other tasks that need to be done.
830 PM. "Me time"

Do a grocery run on Sunday (while DH watches the kid), or take the kid with you as an "activity".

[Anonymous]

Op here-someone said raising the kids didn't take all of your time. They are right. It does not. What it takes is all of my energy, and I think there's an important distinction. I don't want to be a resentful person and hate DH, but I know I would become that if ALL of the childcare was on me, plus all of the housework, and to top it off, all of the cooking. DH also travels a lot. Like, a ton. I spent months 2-4 and 8-10 by myself. And it's my first time with a baby, and it can be hard and isating and menial, so adding cooking to the list-something I really am not good at and do not enjoy-is not something I've prioritized at all, and we've been floundering. I also did contribute a lot financially to our marriage before kids-I worked FT and started a good side business, and as a result saved enough that we will be able to put fifty percent down on our forever home. I'm really proud of that. I think stay at home parents make a really valuable contribution to the family, but because it is not monetized, SAHMs have a lot of potential to take on more than their fair share of responsibility. I see it over and over on these boards, and I think that is a hard road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I WOH FT. I pick my kid up at daycare, go home, bathe him, then make dinner. My husband shows up about the time dinner is getting on the table.

On the weekends, I cook dinner while my toddler is napping. What do you do while your baby naps, OP?

When does your DH cook?

He doesn't.

Wow - at all? Does he handle all of the cleaning or laundry then?

Nope.

Sounds like you should start your own thread. Yikes!

Why?

Sounds like he's not contributing to household work at all!

He's not. It doesn't bother me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH makes more in an hour than I could make in a week. so, yes, he gets to not do some jobs in the home.

Wtf

Because he outsources it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I WOH FT. I pick my kid up at daycare, go home, bathe him, then make dinner. My husband shows up about the time dinner is getting on the table.

On the weekends, I cook dinner while my toddler is napping. What do you do while your baby naps, OP?

For AM nap, I shower, get dressed, make bed, wipe down high chair, vacuum DS breakfast mess, empty the dishwasher, load any bottles/dirty dishes, gather up dirty diapers and take out trash, put away laundry from night before and get a new load started, wipe down master bath (just a quick swish and swipe of toilet and sink) and powder room, reset the diaper bag for an outing (replenish snacks,clothes,diapers-throw out any trash/dirty clothes etc), put away DS's toys. For PM nap, I check email, mail, deal with any bills or paperwork, maybe call my mom, then I have about 30 mins to myself, where I could ostensibly prepare a meal.

OMG the excuses. Making the bed takes 10 seconds. You empty the dishwasher and take out the trash and do laundry every day? You're clearly just thinking of everything you could possibly do and listing it here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I WOH FT. I pick my kid up at daycare, go home, bathe him, then make dinner. My husband shows up about the time dinner is getting on the table.

On the weekends, I cook dinner while my toddler is napping. What do you do while your baby naps, OP?

When does your DH cook?

He doesn't.

Wow - at all? Does he handle all of the cleaning or laundry then?

Nope.

Sounds like you should start your own thread. Yikes!

Why?

Sounds like he's not contributing to household work at all!

He's not. It doesn't bother me.

Very interesting. So then I guess given your own preferences for how your own household works - you probably think SAHMs (or even all moms?) should handle most if not all household responsibilities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH makes more in an hour than I could make in a week. so, yes, he gets to not do some jobs in the home.

Wtf

Because he outsources it?

Sounds like she does more "jobs" at home just because he makes more money. Thats a bad dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is hilarious. I'm a WAHM mom (in the telecommuting sense, not "I sell Jamberry" sense) and I still make dinner 6/7 nights for DH and DC. Because, you know, I'm home.

So...you cook dinner on company or taxpayer time.

Oh please be serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH makes more in an hour than I could make in a week. so, yes, he gets to not do some jobs in the home.

Wtf

Because he outsources it?

Sounds like she does more "jobs" at home just because he makes more money. Thats a bad dynamic.

No it isn't. She doesn't work, so she does more around the house.

[Anonymous]

Lazy ass. Your husband is out there providing for you and your family to have a roof over your head, food on the table, money in the bank and your future retirement. You cannot take care of the kids and make him dinner? WTF? How fuckin lazy have people become in this world? So he has two jobs and you have one? Am I getting that right?