married to someone with a perfect education pedigree who has never lived up to the potential

[Anonymous]

I think many women do give "hints" while dating re the lifestyle they eventually want. They're not saying - I love that you love saving the world; they're saying - this is a good experience FOR NOW. Men either don't catch these hints or ignore them bc they want to marry that woman, and then a few yrs later are SHOCKED when the wife is comparing homes with her doctor sister in law or saying things like - you know best friends DH makes 2x what you make, why don't you consider consulting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think many women do give "hints" while dating re the lifestyle they eventually want. They're not saying - I love that you love saving the world; they're saying - this is a good experience FOR NOW. Men either don't catch these hints or ignore them bc they want to marry that woman, and then a few yrs later are SHOCKED when the wife is comparing homes with her doctor sister in law or saying things like - you know best friends DH makes 2x what you make, why don't you consider consulting?

I have. My DH is only 27 with a prestigious but a liberal arts graduate degree. I wish he would go into consulting or something and make more than 65K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many women do give "hints" while dating re the lifestyle they eventually want. They're not saying - I love that you love saving the world; they're saying - this is a good experience FOR NOW. Men either don't catch these hints or ignore them bc they want to marry that woman, and then a few yrs later are SHOCKED when the wife is comparing homes with her doctor sister in law or saying things like - you know best friends DH makes 2x what you make, why don't you consider consulting?

I have. My DH is only 27 with a prestigious but a liberal arts graduate degree. I wish he would go into consulting or something and make more than 65K.

Why are you hinting? Why not just flat out discuss it with him and get on the same page regarding income and financial expectation? Or do you not do that bc you think it will cause a rift that will never be repaired?

[Anonymous]

Interesting discussion. I totally get maximizing earning potential if you invested in an expensive Masters.

Has anyone thought of their $/hr? If you have to work that hard to get $300K but all the trades you make time with family, exercise or vacation.

I am approaching 40 only have B.S Engineering degree state school but work for the Guberment and make $150K. My work is very interesting and have alot of time to devote to my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many women do give "hints" while dating re the lifestyle they eventually want. They're not saying - I love that you love saving the world; they're saying - this is a good experience FOR NOW. Men either don't catch these hints or ignore them bc they want to marry that woman, and then a few yrs later are SHOCKED when the wife is comparing homes with her doctor sister in law or saying things like - you know best friends DH makes 2x what you make, why don't you consider consulting?

I have. My DH is only 27 with a prestigious but a liberal arts graduate degree. I wish he would go into consulting or something and make more than 65K.

Why are you hinting? Why not just flat out discuss it with him and get on the same page regarding income and financial expectation? Or do you not do that bc you think it will cause a rift that will never be repaired?

Yes, please do. I'm a middle aged male and have been married for almost 20 years but it wasn't until the last 5 that I realized how much my wife resented that I didn't make more money. I have an expensive technical degree and will never make $100k per year, which has become the #1 stress point in our marriage. (and I thought she married me because I made her laugh)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many women do give "hints" while dating re the lifestyle they eventually want. They're not saying - I love that you love saving the world; they're saying - this is a good experience FOR NOW. Men either don't catch these hints or ignore them bc they want to marry that woman, and then a few yrs later are SHOCKED when the wife is comparing homes with her doctor sister in law or saying things like - you know best friends DH makes 2x what you make, why don't you consider consulting?

I have. My DH is only 27 with a prestigious but a liberal arts graduate degree. I wish he would go into consulting or something and make more than 65K.

Why are you hinting? Why not just flat out discuss it with him and get on the same page regarding income and financial expectation? Or do you not do that bc you think it will cause a rift that will never be repaired?

I do talk with him about it. He just doesn't budge. He doesn't really have a clear vision of where he wants to go. He does not want to get into more debt to go get another degree so he has to leverage his liberal arts degree. He could have gotten into consulting but he was too intimidated to pursue that path. Now he earns 65k and our money is very tight and we don't have any left over in a month to save.

Its especially frustrating because he;s not stupid he KNOWS where the money is. He is always advising our friends to join a consultancy firm or a big 4 accounting firm or real estate or law but...has no motivation to do anything himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many women do give "hints" while dating re the lifestyle they eventually want. They're not saying - I love that you love saving the world; they're saying - this is a good experience FOR NOW. Men either don't catch these hints or ignore them bc they want to marry that woman, and then a few yrs later are SHOCKED when the wife is comparing homes with her doctor sister in law or saying things like - you know best friends DH makes 2x what you make, why don't you consider consulting?

I have. My DH is only 27 with a prestigious but a liberal arts graduate degree. I wish he would go into consulting or something and make more than 65K.

Why are you hinting? Why not just flat out discuss it with him and get on the same page regarding income and financial expectation? Or do you not do that bc you think it will cause a rift that will never be repaired?

Yes, please do. I'm a middle aged male and have been married for almost 20 years but it wasn't until the last 5 that I realized how much my wife resented that I didn't make more money. I have an expensive technical degree and will never make $100k per year, which has become the #1 stress point in our marriage. (and I thought she married me because I made her laugh)

Your wife DOES love you and the fact that you can make her laugh. She is probably sick and tired of being needlessly stressed about money because you aren't self motivated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many women do give "hints" while dating re the lifestyle they eventually want. They're not saying - I love that you love saving the world; they're saying - this is a good experience FOR NOW. Men either don't catch these hints or ignore them bc they want to marry that woman, and then a few yrs later are SHOCKED when the wife is comparing homes with her doctor sister in law or saying things like - you know best friends DH makes 2x what you make, why don't you consider consulting?

I have. My DH is only 27 with a prestigious but a liberal arts graduate degree. I wish he would go into consulting or something and make more than 65K.

Why are you hinting? Why not just flat out discuss it with him and get on the same page regarding income and financial expectation? Or do you not do that bc you think it will cause a rift that will never be repaired?

I do talk with him about it. He just doesn't budge. He doesn't really have a clear vision of where he wants to go. He does not want to get into more debt to go get another degree so he has to leverage his liberal arts degree. He could have gotten into consulting but he was too intimidated to pursue that path. Now he earns 65k and our money is very tight and we don't have any left over in a month to save.

Its especially frustrating because he;s not stupid he KNOWS where the money is. He is always advising our friends to join a consultancy firm or a big 4 accounting firm or real estate or law but...has no motivation to do anything himself.

Sounds like the cake is baked. Your are free to decide whether you can accept him as he is, make more income of your own or leave. Frustrating, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I do talk with him about it. He just doesn't budge. He doesn't really have a clear vision of where he wants to go. He does not want to get into more debt to go get another degree so he has to leverage his liberal arts degree. He could have gotten into consulting but he was too intimidated to pursue that path. Now he earns 65k and our money is very tight and we don't have any left over in a month to save.

Its especially frustrating because he;s not stupid he KNOWS where the money is. He is always advising our friends to join a consultancy firm or a big 4 accounting firm or real estate or law but...has no motivation to do anything himself.

How about YOU get a better job so YOU can contribute more to your "family?" Making $65K at 27 is pretty good.

This thread is just further reasons to never get married, fellas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I am approaching 40 only have B.S Engineering degree state school but work for the Guberment and make $150K.

BUT BUT BUT ENGINEERS MAKE SHIT!

Sincerely,

All the idiots in this thread.

[Anonymous]

$65K at 27 is not good for this area if you have a good degree.

I agree dont get married if you cant deal with DW nagging or no desire to raise income $.
DWs always want and growing families need the income $.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I do talk with him about it. He just doesn't budge. He doesn't really have a clear vision of where he wants to go. He does not want to get into more debt to go get another degree so he has to leverage his liberal arts degree. He could have gotten into consulting but he was too intimidated to pursue that path. Now he earns 65k and our money is very tight and we don't have any left over in a month to save.

Its especially frustrating because he;s not stupid he KNOWS where the money is. He is always advising our friends to join a consultancy firm or a big 4 accounting firm or real estate or law but...has no motivation to do anything himself.

How about YOU get a better job so YOU can contribute more to your "family?" Making $65K at 27 is pretty good.

This thread is just further reasons to never get married, fellas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Now he earns 65k and our money is very tight and we don't have any left over in a month to save.

How much do you make? Sounds like the problem isn't his salary but the fact you TWO have a spending problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$65K at 27 is not good for this area if you have a good degree.

What's a "good degree" to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$65K at 27 is not good for this area if you have a good degree.

$65k is pretty good "for this area" for someone with a bachelor's and five years out of college.

Say, by chance, what salary range do you consider "good for this area" at 27?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I agree dont get married if you cant deal with DW nagging or no desire to raise income $.
DWs always want and growing families need the income $.

Exactly. Who would want to put up with this shit?