married to someone with a perfect education pedigree who has never lived up to the potential

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this is the saddest thread I have ever read. Decide what income/prestige/whatever you want and then go after it. Support your DH is discovering his goals. Decide together which of these aspirations have to take a back seat because of family priorities. Think of your husband as your partner not your cash cow. This isn't rocket science.

Surely most women follow this model. If you think it's ok to think less of your husband (who is great with the kids, a decent provider and a good partner), because he isnt the guy who puts all his effort into just making more money, divorce him and give him up to someone who will appreciate him.

Let me guess. Your husband makes a lot of money.

+1.

I hate it when people do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this is the saddest thread I have ever read. Decide what income/prestige/whatever you want and then go after it. Support your DH is discovering his goals. Decide together which of these aspirations have to take a back seat because of family priorities. Think of your husband as your partner not your cash cow. This isn't rocket science.

Surely most women follow this model. If you think it's ok to think less of your husband (who is great with the kids, a decent provider and a good partner), because he isnt the guy who puts all his effort into just making more money, divorce him and give him up to someone who will appreciate him.

Let me guess. Your husband makes a lot of money.

+1.

I hate it when people do this.

+2

Say all you want about being a decent provider, etc but when you are the one who is bringing in 70% of the money and also the one doing the lion's share of house work, you would be singing a different tune.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These comments that imply that someone can just "go out and earn" a $500k salary are delusional. 90% of graduates from even the top schools will never have an opportunity to make that kind of money. Lawyers who work outside of biglaw will probably never see that kind of money, but that doesn't mean they didn't graduate top of their class from top schools. There is a lot of luck involved in bringing home that much bacon. To simply expect your spouse to get out there and "hustle" his/her way into a 500k paycheck need a reality check.

I'm 13:17. It's not luck. I come from a low middle income family from Podunk USA and attended middling undergraduate and graduate schools. My guess is that you would have never heard of my college. My intelligence is on the high side of average. The bottom line is that I have ALWAYS worked my ass off and I never said "no" to even the most menial tasks. I started at the very bottom, receptionist in a Congressional office, and worked my way up. It was a very long slow road from $18k a year, but it can be done if you are willing to work hard. Luck had nothing to do with it...

13:17, congrats that your hard work has paid off for you. I also come from a low income family. We were immigrants and started on food stamps. My mother always emphasized hard work and self reliance. She told me I could never rely on a man or anyone else. She also emphasized the importance of making money! I resented her for it when I was growing up because money is not my top priority but I felt the pressure to make money. I also went to an Ivy school and I see my friends who came from "privilege" and except for a few most of them have low to middle income status. It's not because they're not smart but they weren't as driven to make money. Some were not taught the value of money because they always had it. My friend (whose father is very wealthy) told me one of her great regrets is that she never learned the value of money. She herself has never made much but has always had access to money, first from her father and now from her boyfriend (also from a wealthy family). It does cause her stress though because if she does not inherit or marry wealth then she would be flat broke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this is the saddest thread I have ever read. Decide what income/prestige/whatever you want and then go after it. Support your DH is discovering his goals. Decide together which of these aspirations have to take a back seat because of family priorities. Think of your husband as your partner not your cash cow. This isn't rocket science.

Surely most women follow this model. If you think it's ok to think less of your husband (who is great with the kids, a decent provider and a good partner), because he isnt the guy who puts all his effort into just making more money, divorce him and give him up to someone who will appreciate him.

Let me guess. Your husband makes a lot of money.

Nope. We earn about the same and come from similar educational backgrounds. Neither of us is in the high end of what some with similar degrees earn. Sometimes I feel a pang for what *I* could be doing different but never my husband. It's his job to figure out what he wants to do and mine to support him. And vice versa

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this is the saddest thread I have ever read. Decide what income/prestige/whatever you want and then go after it. Support your DH is discovering his goals. Decide together which of these aspirations have to take a back seat because of family priorities. Think of your husband as your partner not your cash cow. This isn't rocket science.

Surely most women follow this model. If you think it's ok to think less of your husband (who is great with the kids, a decent provider and a good partner), because he isnt the guy who puts all his effort into just making more money, divorce him and give him up to someone who will appreciate him.

Let me guess. Your husband makes a lot of money.

+1.

I hate it when people do this.

+2

Say all you want about being a decent provider, etc but when you are the one who is bringing in 70% of the money and also the one doing the lion's share of house work, you would be singing a different tune.

Yup. I make around 250k/yr and does DH. I'd be pissed if he was making significantly less (meaning under 150k ). However, he has enough pride to keep up on his own. As long as he's able bodied, no way in hell would he lag behind.

[Anonymous]

You sound so sexy making $250K/yr.
Glad, your DH can keepup.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this is the saddest thread I have ever read. Decide what income/prestige/whatever you want and then go after it. Support your DH is discovering his goals. Decide together which of these aspirations have to take a back seat because of family priorities. Think of your husband as your partner not your cash cow. This isn't rocket science.

Surely most women follow this model. If you think it's ok to think less of your husband (who is great with the kids, a decent provider and a good partner), because he isnt the guy who puts all his effort into just making more money, divorce him and give him up to someone who will appreciate him.

Let me guess. Your husband makes a lot of money.

+1.

I hate it when people do this.

+2

Say all you want about being a decent provider, etc but when you are the one who is bringing in 70% of the money and also the one doing the lion's share of house work, you would be singing a different tune.

Yup. I make around 250k/yr and does DH. I'd be pissed if he was making significantly less (meaning under 150k ). However, he has enough pride to keep up on his own. As long as he's able bodied, no way in hell would he lag behind.