Older Moms with Babies-Why?

[Anonymous]

"Anyway, I realize it's her problem but I have good self esteem and really feel bad for moms who maybe are a bit more shy because something like that can really send you back. "

You realize you are basically saying "I really feel sorry for people who are not like me". I know lots of shy people who have gone very far, have very happy lives, have good close friends, and happy kids. They may not set up a playdate with someone who drives by and rolls down their window gotta admit this sounds funny...but chances are they are doing just fine.

[Anonymous]

14:43 - That's a great post. Thanks.

You totally diffused my need to respond to all the women who decided I must be
* antisocial,
* mean,
* caffeine addicted
* and against community simply because my kid and I enjoy each other more than we enjoy strangers.

[Anonymous]

It's ridiculous how all of you older women get offended for having children at an older age when you know you would say the same shit about women having kids at a young age. I think that the age that you have children is not important as long as you are a loving mother.

[Anonymous]

And you found it necessary to resurrect this unlamented thread because...?

[Anonymous]

because i was doing some reasearch and found this ridiculous crap on the way

[Anonymous]

Older women?? I'm 39 and I feel very young. I'm happy I didn't get pregnant when I was still too young and inexperienced. Every women has it's own reasons of not having children until the late 30's, please be respectful. It would be great not to post when you are so angry, frustrated, negative, etc...

[Anonymous]

23:58 again. I apologize for the typo: unexperienced.

[Anonymous]

Just has you can not imagine having babies older, I could never imagine being married when I was 20 or even in my 20's. I feel you missed out on a lot of life. I had a great time in college, a career, more fun. very independent life, then I met my wonderful husband. We had children at age 37 and 40. We love that we waited so long. I bet you have never lived by yourself! I look at those in their 20's with children and think it must be the babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And you found it necessary to resurrect this unlamented thread because...?

I
Totally agree, I did not even see the date on this thing. Who does this. get a life. are you just trying to stir the pot. this post is old as I was when I had my first baby.

[Anonymous]

At a town that I lived, a mother got her name in the paper.
She had 3 kids. One at 18, one at 28, and the last at 38. Or so she said.

So she was on of those terrible young mothers, sensible ones, and one to those terrible old mothers.

And the kids all had the same father. Maybe that is why it was a news story.

She was happy with her life

[Anonymous]

Most of the guys I dated during my twenties were knuckleheads! Thank god I waited until my thirties or I'd be divorced!

[Anonymous]

I have been horrifed my many a post, but this one takes the cake. I am an older mom and was in no way offended by the OP. Clearly a lot of older moms have big chips on their shoulders. I also think it is only fair to point out that waiting to have children until after 35 when you are married or otherwise 'ready' to have children does increase the chances tremendsouly of having a baby with birth defects. So while you all act like people who marry at 20 and have kids are idiots, which I might add is certainly not always true, I think the actions of those waiting indefinitely, thinking one can get pregnant at 38, 40 or 42, is downright irresponsible. Flame away.

[Anonymous]

"I think the actions of those waiting indefinitely, thinking one can get pregnant at 38, 40 or 42, is downright irresponsible. Flame away. "

I have no problems with people having kids in their 20s though 18-22 seems much different than say 23-29. It isn't necessarily difficult to get pregnant at 38 and chances are if you run into fertility problems at 38 you would have had them at say 34. 40-42 is little more difficult but still quite possible. I has my second at 38 and I was one of the younger moms at the practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to live in DC and went to the park with DD, at first I often could not tell if the caretaker was the mom or the grandma. After talking for awhile I realized that it was always the mom, no grandmas around. The thread about age reminds me of a question I always have, but is WAY too personal for an audience other than an annoymous form like this.

Why do moms often wait until their late 30s or early 40s to have kids? Is it that you are married later in life and it just works out that way, or is it a concious decision to have kids at an older age? Is it the career?

At 26, I always thought I was not ready. After I had my 1st at 30, I realize that I could have easily have handled it a few years earlier.

This is how I respond to people like you who ask such insensitive questions: "Maybe YOUR kind has kids at 14. MY KIND doesn't." Yes, I've actually used that line.

- married at 37
- first kid at 38
- second kid at 42

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been horrifed my many a post, but this one takes the cake. I am an older mom and was in no way offended by the OP. Clearly a lot of older moms have big chips on their shoulders. I also think it is only fair to point out that waiting to have children until after 35 when you are married or otherwise 'ready' to have children does increase the chances tremendsouly of having a baby with birth defects. So while you all act like people who marry at 20 and have kids are idiots, which I might add is certainly not always true, I think the actions of those waiting indefinitely, thinking one can get pregnant at 38, 40 or 42, is downright irresponsible. Flame away.

Good post. There is this idea that everyone can just wait and wait, but there CAN BE serious consequences for it. I respect every woman's right to make those choices for whatever reasons, but it is not an apples to apples discussion. I have a friend who is 45 and cannot get pregnant and cannot believe it. Really? She and her DH waited seven years to have first. REALLY? I don't know...I find myself certainly feeling sympathetic, but part of me is thinking, ummmm, this is nature saying, NOT GOOD.

I do not think every 20 something is ready, but unfortunately their eggs are. Life is unfair this way, nature has not caught up with women's lib and we suffer for it, but when does it become about "choices" and "rights" and "personal decisions" and more about "reality"? I am conflicted...