Older Moms with Babies-Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting married under 30 really is too soon! Flame, flame, flame me.

Haven't we already been down this path?
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/30/16403.page

Yes appropriate for this post since OP doesn't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to live in DC and went to the park with DD, at first I often could not tell if the caretaker was the mom or the grandma. After talking for awhile I realized that it was always the mom, no grandmas around. The thread about age reminds me of a question I always have, but is WAY too personal for an audience other than an annoymous form like this.

Why do moms often wait until their late 30s or early 40s to have kids? Is it that you are married later in life and it just works out that way, or is it a concious decision to have kids at an older age? Is it the career?

Personally, I met my husband when I was 20 and married him at 26. I actually wish we had started a family right away. I want 3 kids, and even though I am only 34 with a older toddler, and one on the way I feel a rush now to have them back to back to squeeze it all in before I get too old. If I'd of had my first at 27, I might even have been able to have 4 kids at a liesurly pace. It's not only that, but even the toll on my body and the thought of having teens into my 50s is not someting I really want to do. I also think if you get kids out of the way early, it is much easier to enter back into the work force if you decide to take time off. At 26, I always thought I was not ready. After I had my 1st at 30, I realize that I could have easily have handled it a few years earlier.

I chose to learn how to spell before having children. Apparently you did not. Maybe you should have gotten your GED before having children? It would be useful for your children to have a mother that isn't an idiot.

[Anonymous]

A few seniors here seem to be a bit menopausal-no? I remember when my mom was going through it, she was so up and down all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few seniors here seem to be a bit menopausal-no? I remember when my mom was going through it, she was so up and down all the time.

And a 20 year old is so emotionally stable and mature- I'm not a senior .. but you are an idiot.

[Anonymous]

I really don't understand why everyone is getting so bent out of shape and defending their decisions or attacking others. Yes the way the OP phrased her question was judgmental and exaggerated regarding the grandma comment. Nevertheless, it is ok to ask why people decided to wait until later.

From my experience OP, people wait until they feel they are personally ready. Whether that be emotionally, physically, financially, find the right person to have kids with, professionally, or simply until they think they have enough life experiences. To answer your direct question about DC and age of first time moms (which is higher than national average), the most common reasons I have heard are educational (long time to finish post college degrees), establish careers after long time in post grad, and simply didn't meet the right person until their 30s or 40s. None of these reasons are silly or should be discounted. There are pluses and minuses to all of the different timing choices- it just depends on which ones matter more to a given person. The main lesson to draw away from this whole discussion is that it is a very personal decision and timing can only be judged by what each person feels is best for them. Arguing about having kids at 25, 35, 40, 45 or getting married at any of these particular ages is really silly since again it all comes down to what is best for those involved.

Be happy with your decisions OP!

[Anonymous]

People are getting bent out of shape because the OP purposely posted something mean to start a flame war. She is a troll - probably unhappy in her marriage and in her decision to marry so young - and is trying to start something online to make her feel better about herself.

Besides, she is illiterate. The good thing is if my kiddo is up against her when it comes to college application times, I have no worries - my child will be much smarter and I'll be able to pay her tuition!

[Anonymous]

Nevertheless, it is ok to ask why people decided to wait until later.

Um no, actually it is not okay to ask that...ever. Please go re-read Emily Post because if you are going around asking people things like that, you can't possibly have many friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few seniors here seem to be a bit menopausal-no? I remember when my mom was going through it, she was so up and down all the time.

I imagine that anyone would be 'up and down' with you as their daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nevertheless, it is ok to ask why people decided to wait until later.

Um no, actually it is not okay to ask that...ever. Please go re-read Emily Post because if you are going around asking people things like that, you can't possibly have many friends.

What would Emily Post say about DCUM? This is an anonymous forum. OP did not ask this question to anyone directly. The posters here read the link and decided to respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are getting bent out of shape because the OP purposely posted something mean to start a flame war. She is a troll - probably unhappy in her marriage and in her decision to marry so young - and is trying to start something online to make her feel better about herself.

Besides, she is illiterate. The good thing is if my kiddo is up against her when it comes to college application times, I have no worries - my child will be much smarter and I'll be able to pay her tuition!

Your post is just as mean-spirited, frankly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to live in DC and went to the park with DD, at first I often could not tell if the caretaker was the mom or the grandma. After talking for awhile I realized that it was always the mom, no grandmas around. The thread about age reminds me of a question I always have, but is WAY too personal for an audience other than an annoymous form like this.

Why do moms often wait until their late 30s or early 40s to have kids? Is it that you are married later in life and it just works out that way, or is it a concious decision to have kids at an older age? Is it the career?

Personally, I met my husband when I was 20 and married him at 26. I actually wish we had started a family right away. I want 3 kids, and even though I am only 34 with a older toddler, and one on the way I feel a rush now to have them back to back to squeeze it all in before I get too old. If I'd of had my first at 27, I might even have been able to have 4 kids at a liesurly pace. It's not only that, but even the toll on my body and the thought of having teens into my 50s is not someting I really want to do. I also think if you get kids out of the way early, it is much easier to enter back into the work force if you decide to take time off. At 26, I always thought I was not ready. After I had my 1st at 30, I realize that I could have easily have handled it a few years earlier.

I chose to learn how to spell before having children. Apparently you did not. Maybe you should have gotten your GED before having children? It would be useful for your children to have a mother that isn't an idiot.

Too funny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few seniors here seem to be a bit menopausal-no? I remember when my mom was going through it, she was so up and down all the time.

And a 20 year old is so emotionally stable and mature- I'm not a senior .. but you are an idiot.

I think this is the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are getting bent out of shape because the OP purposely posted something mean to start a flame war. She is a troll - probably unhappy in her marriage and in her decision to marry so young - and is trying to start something online to make her feel better about herself.

Besides, she is illiterate. The good thing is if my kiddo is up against her when it comes to college application times, I have no worries - my child will be much smarter and I'll be able to pay her tuition!

Your post is just as mean-spirited, frankly.

and so was hers. If you can dish it out...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nevertheless, it is ok to ask why people decided to wait until later.

Um no, actually it is not okay to ask that...ever. Please go re-read Emily Post because if you are going around asking people things like that, you can't possibly have many friends.

What would Emily Post say about DCUM? This is an anonymous forum. OP did not ask this question to anyone directly. The posters here read the link and decided to respond.

People are reading because OP is a train wreck. People like to watch that sort of thing.

[Anonymous]

Hmm, I am 44 with a 6 month old and didn't take the OP's post as personally as others have taken it. We really all need to chill . . . .