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Older Moms with Babies-Why?
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Anonymous
I think there are so many advantages to having kids a bit older. I felt pressure to start trying in my early 30s because of the biological facts - there are more challenges as you get older in terms of getting pregnant, having a healthy baby, etc. But when I see moms in their late 30s/early 40s pregnant or with little babies I think it's awesome. I would have to loved to have gotten a bit more secure in my career before juggling work and babies. |
Anonymous
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Because I met my husband at 38, we married at 38, and it took us two years to conceive.
Why is it any of your business? |
Anonymous
| Why resurrect a months-old thread? Wasn't fifteen pages on this topic enough? |
Anonymous
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I met my husband at 26, he was 25 like you. We consciously waited 7 years after marriage to even attempt TTC. At 34 and 37 I got pregnant with my kids. In that time period--- we advanced rapidly in our careers, acccumulated wealth, nice homes, partied very hardily, traveled, sabbiticaled and lived abroad. I had my first at 35 and 2nd child a month after turning 38. I now have the wonderful advantage of working at home full-time which I would not have had with my same business if I had them earlier and zero regrets or feelings that I missed out on anything or am currently missing out. I don't ? what anyone does--only my own preferences. I see major advantages to both sides. I know in this area, like most urban areas, people marry much later then the rest of the country--hence us older moms. Age alone makes neither a good mom or a bad mom. I've seen bad ones in both age groups.
For the record, I've seen some grandmas that are looking pretty damn good, my own mother included, and I've made the mistake of assuming that they are the mother  .
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Anonymous
| The OP proves (sadly) that the premise of the movie Idiocracy is true... |
Anonymous
Infirtility can be b/c of old age. |
Anonymous
Yes, but it delay your childbearing years even when you start young. I have a friend who started at 30 trying to have a baby - not old, especially by DC standards. She ran into several problems they could not figure out, treatments didn't work, etc. She gave up and ended up getting pregnant naturally, at 34. She is gearing up to try again and she's 36. She may not have trouble or she might, but fertility problems (at a young age) delayed her childbearing years. I also had a friend who had fertility problems at 27, in that they found out after trying for two years her husband would never be able to have kids naturally (very low sperm count). She they too waited a bit, tried 4 rounds of in vitro, and finally she had a baby in her early 30s. Another example of delayed childbearing because of infertility. |
Anonymous
| I haven't followed all of this silly thread but ..in the 1600s women would have kids, or I should say kids had kids in their teens. The world has evolved and now women are regularly having kids in their forties and that is great and a personal choice. I would have been an awful mom in my twenties but I am a great mom at 40 because I have the time and money and maturity to put my child first. If I had issues getting pregnant (didn't) that would be up to me and my partner and not the business of the world. Yes I knew there were risks but short of inseminating myself, I had to wait. |
Anonymous
| Maybe we should ask: why so many young mothers with no careers? |
Anonymous
Oh yeah that's a great move. One idiot comes on and posts and your defense is to attack hundreds of thousands of moms that take no issue with when you decide to have children. Be confident on your decision without feeling the need to defend it to anyone or bash others, who aren't looking for a fight, in the process. |
Anonymous
So agreed! Ironically out of my 5 close college friends the only one effected by infertility and has since adopted was the one that started trying in her late 20s---the rest of us old moms managed to conceive easily/naturally in our mid and late 30s. Age is by no means the only cause of infertility and there is some genetic basis to those 'fertile families' that can keep having healthy babies naturally into their early 40s...problem is you don't know if it will be you or not. |
Anonymous
| I'm tired out at 40 with a 6.5 yr old and a 8.5 yr old, I can't imagine having a newborn and getting up all night. I feel like I should have had them before 30 sometimes. However, my good friend is 41 and expecting her first after trying for 6 years with no success and so it is wonderful news and many older women have no problem with energy levels. When is the best time to have kids, is a tricky question. |
Anonymous
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Do you burden your friends with "I'm an older parent"? Like you have some sort of precedence or entitlement? If not, I wouldn't worry about it. I've heard people use that excuse for not doing what they are supposed to do with their kids (the basics). I feel bad for the kids in that situation. The parents are just lazy. It probably has nothing to do with age. |
Anonymous
Judge! Judge! Judge! |
Anonymous
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Call it what you want. Label when it is convenient for you. I'm sure you would not allow anyone to label you. So - it seems you are the one judging. What about people who won't step up to their responsibilities? They think no one will call them on it? These are people that do it all the time, not just a bit. Are you one of them? If not, there should be no problem. If so, I don't see burdening others with what you signed up for. We all have kids to raise. |