Spouse Lets DD Ghost My Mother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Mother is 81, lives alone and has 4 grandkids. Two from me and two from my brother. In addition to our DD, we have a DS. My mother likes weekly calls/face time with them. My son participates happily but my daughter is 'annoyed' by the calls and tries to skip them. I don't allow her to skip them, but my wife does. She'll go so far as to 'forget' to be home with my DD while running errands, schedule conflicting appointments, etc. She will happily 'defend' my DD's objections when I challenge her non participation. Basically, she is complicit and I am irrationally angry over this. Am I wrong?

Grandma and mom doesn't get along and DD stands with her own mother not yours? Your irrational anger towards her mother would ruin your relationship with your own daughter.

[Anonymous]

If wife is purposely taking DD, but not DS, on errands during these times to avoid the call, then it seems obvious wife is running interference for DD who, for whatever reason, DOES NOT WANT these weekly forced conversations. i.e. your wife is being a bad DIL but a good mom.

You sound controlling. I suspect your mother is also controlling, hence the rigid scheduled calls. I’ll bet your DD can see right through that and resents it. Good for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

Actually, parents and grandparents who take the time to foster strong, close, reciprocal relationships don't have this problem. It's the ones who were selfish and checked out who do. Then they wake up one day in old age and can't figure out why no one wants to visit them.

Door swings both ways. Sounds like grandma is trying very hard and DD is being a brat fully supported by her mom.

Why is it bratty to not want to talk to someone? Why would you even want a forced conversation?

Normalize letting kids say no. Agency is important.

Normilize raising kind, polite kids who understand that grandparents love them and are important. FFS

So saying "no" isn't kind or polite, and little girls shouldn't do it? Really? That's the message you want to send?

Welcome to rape culture. Where did you think that started?

Give me a break. The girl can talk to her grandmother for 5 minutes.

+1

And F**k PP for equating rape to a phone call with your grandma. Jesus Christ that is offensive af.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you have a DW issue.

Incorrect. OP has control issues that have nothing to do with his wife, who isn't his personal henchman. If he has a problem with his kid, he should take it up with his kid instead of trying to use DW as human shield against the blowback he knows he's got coming for being a controlling ass.

BAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

-OP, showcasing his maturity/fragile masculinity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your spouse is zero percent responsible for you and your DD calling your mother.

This forever.

OP, it's your fscking mom. If you want to force your kid to engage her, YOU do that labor. Damn.

100%

If OP wants these calls to happen, OP needs to do the work. It’s not his wife's responsibility to foster a relationship between his kid and his mother.

OP is making it happen. His c*nt of a wife is actively sabotaging it.

OP is "making it happen" by making sure the housework's done and the groceries are bought before the time he demands everyone show up for his mom on Sunday? No, he's not. OP is, at best, being a whiny bag of petulant betch, complaining that the person doing the household tasks is "actively sabotaging" him because she won't force his kid to make/take a phone call.

OP isn't really doing shit, probably because he ain't shit. This has "spoiled mama's boy" written all over it.

OMG I'm crying from laughing. That's some grade A nonsense projecting!!!! BRAVA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Mother is 81, lives alone and has 4 grandkids. Two from me and two from my brother. In addition to our DD, we have a DS. My mother likes weekly calls/face time with them. My son participates happily but my daughter is 'annoyed' by the calls and tries to skip them. I don't allow her to skip them, but my wife does. She'll go so far as to 'forget' to be home with my DD while running errands, schedule conflicting appointments, etc. She will happily 'defend' my DD's objections when I challenge her non participation. Basically, she is complicit and I am irrationally angry over this. Am I wrong?

Grandma and mom doesn't get along and DD stands with her own mother not yours? Your irrational anger towards her mother would ruin your relationship with your own daughter.

This. Pay attention, OP. Your relationship with your kid is gonna be around a lot longer than your relationship with your mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

People have to be good humans. Then, people want to visit you.

It's not your spouse's job to make your kid talk to your mom. If you are going to force someone to do something, don't pawn that off on your wife.

You can't scare me with the assisted living. I've been supporting and visiting family members in those places longer than you have. Currently, the parent in AL has the depends, the bed pads that keep poop off the sheets, and so on because of me. I buy all that.

So take your scare tactics somewhere else. They won't work with me. I've sat with many a dying relative until the bitter end. Never minded doing it for the nice ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your spouse is zero percent responsible for you and your DD calling your mother.

This forever.

OP, it's your fscking mom. If you want to force your kid to engage her, YOU do that labor. Damn.

100%

If OP wants these calls to happen, OP needs to do the work. It’s not his wife's responsibility to foster a relationship between his kid and his mother.

OP is making it happen. His c*nt of a wife is actively sabotaging it.

OP is "making it happen" by making sure the housework's done and the groceries are bought before the time he demands everyone show up for his mom on Sunday? No, he's not. OP is, at best, being a whiny bag of petulant betch, complaining that the person doing the household tasks is "actively sabotaging" him because she won't force his kid to make/take a phone call.

OP isn't really doing shit, probably because he ain't shit. This has "spoiled mama's boy" written all over it.

OMG I'm crying from laughing. That's some grade A nonsense projecting!!!! BRAVA

You see him lifting a finger in all of this? Point to the part in the OP where he did anything but whine and complain.

I'll wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your spouse is zero percent responsible for you and your DD calling your mother.

This forever.

OP, it's your fscking mom. If you want to force your kid to engage her, YOU do that labor. Damn.

100%

If OP wants these calls to happen, OP needs to do the work. It’s not his wife's responsibility to foster a relationship between his kid and his mother.

OP is making it happen. His c*nt of a wife is actively sabotaging it.

OP is "making it happen" by making sure the housework's done and the groceries are bought before the time he demands everyone show up for his mom on Sunday? No, he's not. OP is, at best, being a whiny bag of petulant betch, complaining that the person doing the household tasks is "actively sabotaging" him because she won't force his kid to make/take a phone call.

OP isn't really doing shit, probably because he ain't shit. This has "spoiled mama's boy" written all over it.

The errands obviously aren’t done in time because DW and DD are out running them at 4 pm. DH needs to step up or manage to tell his mom “DD is out, we’ll call you back when she get home.” That isn’t hard

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your spouse is zero percent responsible for you and your DD calling your mother.

This forever.

OP, it's your fscking mom. If you want to force your kid to engage her, YOU do that labor. Damn.

100%

If OP wants these calls to happen, OP needs to do the work. It’s not his wife's responsibility to foster a relationship between his kid and his mother.

OP is making it happen. His c*nt of a wife is actively sabotaging it.

OP is "making it happen" by making sure the housework's done and the groceries are bought before the time he demands everyone show up for his mom on Sunday? No, he's not. OP is, at best, being a whiny bag of petulant betch, complaining that the person doing the household tasks is "actively sabotaging" him because she won't force his kid to make/take a phone call.

OP isn't really doing shit, probably because he ain't shit. This has "spoiled mama's boy" written all over it.

I called this a few pages back too. No one finds mommas boys attractive 🤢

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Mother is 81, lives alone and has 4 grandkids. Two from me and two from my brother. In addition to our DD, we have a DS. My mother likes weekly calls/face time with them. My son participates happily but my daughter is 'annoyed' by the calls and tries to skip them. I don't allow her to skip them, but my wife does. She'll go so far as to 'forget' to be home with my DD while running errands, schedule conflicting appointments, etc. She will happily 'defend' my DD's objections when I challenge her non participation. Basically, she is complicit and I am irrationally angry over this. Am I wrong?

May be DD dislike these calls and your wife is only trying to protect her from her controlling father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

People have to be good humans. Then, people want to visit you.

It's not your spouse's job to make your kid talk to your mom. If you are going to force someone to do something, don't pawn that off on your wife.

You can't scare me with the assisted living. I've been supporting and visiting family members in those places longer than you have. Currently, the parent in AL has the depends, the bed pads that keep poop off the sheets, and so on because of me. I buy all that.

So take your scare tactics somewhere else. They won't work with me. I've sat with many a dying relative until the bitter end. Never minded doing it for the nice ones.

A+, pp. No notes.

We have the relationships we've earned. Forcing a connection out of guilt or obligation isn't the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

Actually, parents and grandparents who take the time to foster strong, close, reciprocal relationships don't have this problem. It's the ones who were selfish and checked out who do. Then they wake up one day in old age and can't figure out why no one wants to visit them.

Door swings both ways. Sounds like grandma is trying very hard and DD is being a brat fully supported by her mom.

We have NO IDEA what kind of MIL and grandma she has been for the last 20 years. Just because she's now 81 and old and lonely doesn't mean she was a good person before.

Exactly. My guess is grandma treated the son well and was a jerk to the daughter. Forcing your kid to visit an abuser is sick.

And have you even had a level-headed conversation with your daugther to ask for her perspective on why she doesn't want to talk to grandma? You haven't.

You don't even know what your DD cares about or what she is thinking because you are so busy forcing your wife to force to your DD to visit your mom. Wtf?

And then you post here like you are unable to have a convo with your DD or make happen what you want to make happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your spouse is zero percent responsible for you and your DD calling your mother.

This forever.

OP, it's your fscking mom. If you want to force your kid to engage her, YOU do that labor. Damn.

100%

If OP wants these calls to happen, OP needs to do the work. It’s not his wife's responsibility to foster a relationship between his kid and his mother.

OP is making it happen. His c*nt of a wife is actively sabotaging it.

OP is "making it happen" by making sure the housework's done and the groceries are bought before the time he demands everyone show up for his mom on Sunday? No, he's not. OP is, at best, being a whiny bag of petulant betch, complaining that the person doing the household tasks is "actively sabotaging" him because she won't force his kid to make/take a phone call.

OP isn't really doing shit, probably because he ain't shit. This has "spoiled mama's boy" written all over it.

OMG I'm crying from laughing. That's some grade A nonsense projecting!!!! BRAVA

You see him lifting a finger in all of this? Point to the part in the OP where he did anything but whine and complain.

I'll wait.

Oh, honey.....go deal with your own shit, please. It doesn't belong here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your spouse is zero percent responsible for you and your DD calling your mother.

This forever.

OP, it's your fscking mom. If you want to force your kid to engage her, YOU do that labor. Damn.

100%

If OP wants these calls to happen, OP needs to do the work. It’s not his wife's responsibility to foster a relationship between his kid and his mother.

OP is making it happen. His c*nt of a wife is actively sabotaging it.

OP is "making it happen" by making sure the housework's done and the groceries are bought before the time he demands everyone show up for his mom on Sunday? No, he's not. OP is, at best, being a whiny bag of petulant betch, complaining that the person doing the household tasks is "actively sabotaging" him because she won't force his kid to make/take a phone call.

OP isn't really doing shit, probably because he ain't shit. This has "spoiled mama's boy" written all over it.

OMG I'm crying from laughing. That's some grade A nonsense projecting!!!! BRAVA

That word doesn't mean what you seem to think it means, honey.