Spouse Lets DD Ghost My Mother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Mother is 81, lives alone and has 4 grandkids. Two from me and two from my brother. In addition to our DD, we have a DS. My mother likes weekly calls/face time with them. My son participates happily but my daughter is 'annoyed' by the calls and tries to skip them. I don't allow her to skip them, but my wife does. She'll go so far as to 'forget' to be home with my DD while running errands, schedule conflicting appointments, etc. She will happily 'defend' my DD's objections when I challenge her non participation. Basically, she is complicit and I am irrationally angry over this. Am I wrong?

Grandma and mom doesn't get along and DD stands with her own mother not yours? Your irrational anger towards her mother would ruin your relationship with your own daughter.

This. Pay attention, OP. Your relationship with your kid is gonna be around a lot longer than your relationship with your mom.

DD will need her dad a lot more than he needs her in the next 10 years. The wife is a fool for not seeing this. Stand offs like this are how estrangements begin. Hope the little brat is ready for a life without a dad.

Millions of kids grow up without a dad. Millions of kids grow up without grandparents. It’s not some sort of death sentence. And op should care about maintaining a relationship with his daughter as she ages, seems like she is fine hanging with her mom so he’s going to get pushed to the side pretty quick unless HE puts in some effort.

My dad died when I was 8. I've missed him, daily, for 36 years. You can kindly, STFU. I would strongly recommend keeping thoughts like this to yourself. There are lots and lots of people like me out there.

Why should I stfu when you’re literally proving my point? If your dad was alive you’d presumably want a relationship with him. If op wants to have a relationship with his daughter he should be putting in some effort. I’d rather no father than an abusive AH who blows up and gets “irrationally angry” about missing a few phone calls.

You should STFU because those of us missing our dads don't need to be lectured on how to feel about it. And we certainly don't need to hear some AH popping off about how it's NBD. But, if you want to prove to the world how big of a beyotch you are, I won't stop you.

When you're triggered, you should log off. You're not helping anyone/anything by being here, ranting about unrelated ish because of your own history/trauma. You just sound damaged (which makes sense, but... still). You survived to adulthood (proves pp's point), and you should act like the adult you are now instead of demanding an anon board be your personal safe space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Mother is 81, lives alone and has 4 grandkids. Two from me and two from my brother. In addition to our DD, we have a DS. My mother likes weekly calls/face time with them. My son participates happily but my daughter is 'annoyed' by the calls and tries to skip them. I don't allow her to skip them, but my wife does. She'll go so far as to 'forget' to be home with my DD while running errands, schedule conflicting appointments, etc. She will happily 'defend' my DD's objections when I challenge her non participation. Basically, she is complicit and I am irrationally angry over this. Am I wrong?

Grandma and mom doesn't get along and DD stands with her own mother not yours? Your irrational anger towards her mother would ruin your relationship with your own daughter.

This. Pay attention, OP. Your relationship with your kid is gonna be around a lot longer than your relationship with your mom.

DD will need her dad a lot more than he needs her in the next 10 years. The wife is a fool for not seeing this. Stand offs like this are how estrangements begin. Hope the little brat is ready for a life without a dad.

Millions of kids grow up without a dad. Millions of kids grow up without grandparents. It’s not some sort of death sentence. And op should care about maintaining a relationship with his daughter as she ages, seems like she is fine hanging with her mom so he’s going to get pushed to the side pretty quick unless HE puts in some effort.

My dad died when I was 8. I've missed him, daily, for 36 years. You can kindly, STFU. I would strongly recommend keeping thoughts like this to yourself. There are lots and lots of people like me out there.

Why should I stfu when you’re literally proving my point? If your dad was alive you’d presumably want a relationship with him. If op wants to have a relationship with his daughter he should be putting in some effort. I’d rather no father than an abusive AH who blows up and gets “irrationally angry” about missing a few phone calls.

You should STFU because those of us missing our dads don't need to be lectured on how to feel about it. And we certainly don't need to hear some AH popping off about how it's NBD. But, if you want to prove to the world how big of a beyotch you are, I won't stop you.

Lol. Telling anon people on the internet to stfu sounds a bit crazy town. Maybe that’s enough internet for you today? Don’t want you getting too worked up over something that happened… 36 years ago.

<to the class>

Should I tell her the irony or see if she can figure it out?

You should sit your ass back down and try to learn something. This isn't clown school. PP's point was solid, and your trolling is weak af.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is bonkers.

It's really not. It's 35 people saying:

"make the little brat learn to be a responsible, polite, adult by chatting with a lonely old woman for 5 minutes"

and 2 people saying:

"YOU ARE LITERALLY RAPING YOUR OWN DAUGHTER YOU EFFING NAZI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

We all know who the true AHs are.

Bro, it's 3-5 people saying "make the little brat", one of whom is OP, sockpuppeting the FSCK out of this thread

and then about 15-20 people dropping their own stories onto the thread, as examples, and being immediately and forcefully screamed down by the 3-5 who insist on blaming the CHILD in this situation.

And then, like, 1 or 2 trolls who tried to make it about rape, nazis, and diapers. Because it's DCUM.

But yeah, the AHs are easy to spot. They're the ones trying to strongarm a kid to please the whims and wants of a bratty adult or two (definitely OP, probably also the gran)

BROHEIM:

1) I don't think you know what sockpuppeting is.
2) Part of raising kids is making them do things they don't want to do for a vast number of reasons. You are absolutely not being a good parent is you consult your child on every decision and ask for their input.
3) The ones who are "being screamed down" are the ones calling grandma with absolutely no proof and "old hag" "controlling" and sorts of other names for simply trying to schedule some time with her grandkids.

I don't know what kind of dysfunctional, unloving, messed up house you grew up in and I'm truly sorry that you did. But preventing a relationship with a grandparent for no apparent reason (not that OP articulated anyway, though there could be one I guess) is about as low as you can go.

I will say that OP seems to be just as passive aggressive as his wife by not addressing this with his wife and by not facilitating communication himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If Grandma or Dad's disdain for the teenager is anything like the comments on this thread, I can totally understand why she would want nothing to do with either of them.

Literally nowhere was any disdain shown for the girl. Stop making shit up.

She's been called a brat dozens of times, and the wife was called a c*nt for not participating in the madness.

Follow the thread.

"in the madness"

Talking to grandma for 5 minutes is "madness"

Boy, you have lost the plot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Mother is 81, lives alone and has 4 grandkids. Two from me and two from my brother. In addition to our DD, we have a DS. My mother likes weekly calls/face time with them. My son participates happily but my daughter is 'annoyed' by the calls and tries to skip them. I don't allow her to skip them, but my wife does. She'll go so far as to 'forget' to be home with my DD while running errands, schedule conflicting appointments, etc. She will happily 'defend' my DD's objections when I challenge her non participation. Basically, she is complicit and I am irrationally angry over this. Am I wrong?

Grandma and mom doesn't get along and DD stands with her own mother not yours? Your irrational anger towards her mother would ruin your relationship with your own daughter.

This. Pay attention, OP. Your relationship with your kid is gonna be around a lot longer than your relationship with your mom.

DD will need her dad a lot more than he needs her in the next 10 years. The wife is a fool for not seeing this. Stand offs like this are how estrangements begin. Hope the little brat is ready for a life without a dad.

Millions of kids grow up without a dad. Millions of kids grow up without grandparents. It’s not some sort of death sentence. And op should care about maintaining a relationship with his daughter as she ages, seems like she is fine hanging with her mom so he’s going to get pushed to the side pretty quick unless HE puts in some effort.

My dad died when I was 8. I've missed him, daily, for 36 years. You can kindly, STFU. I would strongly recommend keeping thoughts like this to yourself. There are lots and lots of people like me out there.

DP here. That's nice. My dad is in his 70's, still healthy. Travels multiple times a year to see a good friend of his. Never visits me or his grandkids two hours away. Last time we visited we stayed with my Aunt and he stopped by for an hour max. He hadn't seen his grandchildren in a year. He texts me twice a year on my birthday and Christmas.

Well, my dad loved me.

But he didn’t have a chance to teach you manners apparently.

Rich, coming from a person who writes "That's nice" in response to PP saying she lost her dad at 8.

Ah, yes, because the 18+ pages you either skimmed or skipped had set such a remarkably civil and compassionate tone for this thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is even more unhinged than usual

It's because OP is sockpuppeting the shit out of it, having not immediately gotten the bro support he was apparently expecting. Midway through, it go full misogyny and mess. My money says about half of everything after is Troll OP fueling the fire with cheap replies.

There was even a PP who was like "Nah, I just wish you well" and he clapped back with some "Is that all you've got?!!" like a true 'roid rager.

Dude needs help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

People have to be good humans. Then, people want to visit you.

It's not your spouse's job to make your kid talk to your mom. If you are going to force someone to do something, don't pawn that off on your wife.

You can't scare me with the assisted living. I've been supporting and visiting family members in those places longer than you have. Currently, the parent in AL has the depends, the bed pads that keep poop off the sheets, and so on because of me. I buy all that.

So take your scare tactics somewhere else. They won't work with me. I've sat with many a dying relative until the bitter end. Never minded doing it for the nice ones.

BS!!!!!! No way you do any of that and so adamantly oppose a 5 min phone call.

Learn that "it's just..." is a manipulation tactic. "it's just a 5 min phone call" No, it's a call the kid said she didn't want to make.

Instead of steamrolling her, try to understand why. Whining that "it's just..." is a weak person's trick.

I know, honey. Life is so hard for your generation. Everyone is either a narcissist or a manipulator or controlling. You were all abused and mistreated. No one ever lifted a finger for you. It's like you're completely incapable of having an independent thought.

You can't even hold space for the PP's point without barfing out these generational tropes and stereotypes.

That's a you problem. Get help with it, if needed.

Because you are the poster child of your generation. Perhaps try to be a little more thoughtful and less of a cliché and then you won't feel so called out by the "older generation."

For funsies, since you're making these assumptions about me: what generation am I?

A lot of y'all make up whole characters to hate on this forum. I find it hard to believe that your projections and strawmanning stops here.

Why, so you could come back and say "you're so wrong!" and we will just have to take your word for it? It's plainly obvious what generation you are. Take that however you will.

DP, but I knew you wouldn't answer. Because you can't. You're a sad little prick.

Awww are you from the same generation and your feelings got hurt too when I called you out?

DP - This is the problem with the "older generation" (your scare quotes, not mine) borrowing the language of the youth. This isn't a call out, hon. This is you telling on yourself. They are not the same.

Of course, it is, hon. You are having to defend PP because you're the same.

This is the weakest, most frail comeback. Particularly from someone who started some, got called out, and tucked tail and ran w/o backing up their bs.

Cheap sauce. No wonder you're on a thread about pressuring the youth to stay in touch with old and decrepit, like you.

Oh the irony.

Was that to me, or "to the class" again, trollzor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is even more unhinged than usual

It's because OP is sockpuppeting the shit out of it, having not immediately gotten the bro support he was apparently expecting. Midway through, it go full misogyny and mess. My money says about half of everything after is Troll OP fueling the fire with cheap replies.

There was even a PP who was like "Nah, I just wish you well" and he clapped back with some "Is that all you've got?!!" like a true 'roid rager.

Dude needs help.

Do you have any proof of that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is bonkers.

It's really not. It's 35 people saying:

"make the little brat learn to be a responsible, polite, adult by chatting with a lonely old woman for 5 minutes"

and 2 people saying:

"YOU ARE LITERALLY RAPING YOUR OWN DAUGHTER YOU EFFING NAZI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

We all know who the true AHs are.

Bro, it's 3-5 people saying "make the little brat", one of whom is OP, sockpuppeting the FSCK out of this thread

and then about 15-20 people dropping their own stories onto the thread, as examples, and being immediately and forcefully screamed down by the 3-5 who insist on blaming the CHILD in this situation.

And then, like, 1 or 2 trolls who tried to make it about rape, nazis, and diapers. Because it's DCUM.

But yeah, the AHs are easy to spot. They're the ones trying to strongarm a kid to please the whims and wants of a bratty adult or two (definitely OP, probably also the gran)

Wanna bet? When this gets briefed in Jeff's round up tomorrow, I guarantee he'll mention how the posts sh*tting on OP and big upping the daughter came from the same 2 or 3 people. Watch. It's obvious af.

So you're sockpuppeting in hopes Jeff will promote your cause?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Mother is 81, lives alone and has 4 grandkids. Two from me and two from my brother. In addition to our DD, we have a DS. My mother likes weekly calls/face time with them. My son participates happily but my daughter is 'annoyed' by the calls and tries to skip them. I don't allow her to skip them, but my wife does. She'll go so far as to 'forget' to be home with my DD while running errands, schedule conflicting appointments, etc. She will happily 'defend' my DD's objections when I challenge her non participation. Basically, she is complicit and I am irrationally angry over this. Am I wrong?

Grandma and mom doesn't get along and DD stands with her own mother not yours? Your irrational anger towards her mother would ruin your relationship with your own daughter.

This. Pay attention, OP. Your relationship with your kid is gonna be around a lot longer than your relationship with your mom.

DD will need her dad a lot more than he needs her in the next 10 years. The wife is a fool for not seeing this. Stand offs like this are how estrangements begin. Hope the little brat is ready for a life without a dad.

Millions of kids grow up without a dad. Millions of kids grow up without grandparents. It’s not some sort of death sentence. And op should care about maintaining a relationship with his daughter as she ages, seems like she is fine hanging with her mom so he’s going to get pushed to the side pretty quick unless HE puts in some effort.

My dad died when I was 8. I've missed him, daily, for 36 years. You can kindly, STFU. I would strongly recommend keeping thoughts like this to yourself. There are lots and lots of people like me out there.

Why should I stfu when you’re literally proving my point? If your dad was alive you’d presumably want a relationship with him. If op wants to have a relationship with his daughter he should be putting in some effort. I’d rather no father than an abusive AH who blows up and gets “irrationally angry” about missing a few phone calls.

You should STFU because those of us missing our dads don't need to be lectured on how to feel about it. And we certainly don't need to hear some AH popping off about how it's NBD. But, if you want to prove to the world how big of a beyotch you are, I won't stop you.

Lol. Telling anon people on the internet to stfu sounds a bit crazy town. Maybe that’s enough internet for you today? Don’t want you getting too worked up over something that happened… 36 years ago.

<to the class>

Should I tell her the irony or see if she can figure it out?

You should sit your ass back down and try to learn something. This isn't clown school. PP's point was solid, and your trolling is weak af.

I knew you wouldn't figure it out. You are dumber than I thought. Bravo, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If Grandma or Dad's disdain for the teenager is anything like the comments on this thread, I can totally understand why she would want nothing to do with either of them.

Literally nowhere was any disdain shown for the girl. Stop making shit up.

She's been called a brat dozens of times, and the wife was called a c*nt for not participating in the madness.

Follow the thread.

"in the madness"

Talking to grandma for 5 minutes is "madness"

Boy, you have lost the plot.

Forcing kids to make phone calls is pretty mental behavior.

Forcing them so hard/so often that it blows up your family is madness, yes.

Therapy for everyone involved, stat.

[Anonymous]

Have you talked with your wife and/or daughter about this about why your daughter doesn't want to talk with her grandmother?

True story: I would not have wanted to, either. I hate the phone, I don't have enough to say to my grandmother EVERY WEEK to be strong armed to spend 5 minutes talking with her.

Yes, I loved my grandparents. And I often - once old enough - dropped by to say hi. Sometimes I'd go alone, sometimes with a sibling, sometimes with a friend. But this was not forced. My parents might have suggested it was time to call or visit ... but they left it up to me to initiate.

Forcing the issue is probably making it worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Mother is 81, lives alone and has 4 grandkids. Two from me and two from my brother. In addition to our DD, we have a DS. My mother likes weekly calls/face time with them. My son participates happily but my daughter is 'annoyed' by the calls and tries to skip them. I don't allow her to skip them, but my wife does. She'll go so far as to 'forget' to be home with my DD while running errands, schedule conflicting appointments, etc. She will happily 'defend' my DD's objections when I challenge her non participation. Basically, she is complicit and I am irrationally angry over this. Am I wrong?

Grandma and mom doesn't get along and DD stands with her own mother not yours? Your irrational anger towards her mother would ruin your relationship with your own daughter.

This. Pay attention, OP. Your relationship with your kid is gonna be around a lot longer than your relationship with your mom.

DD will need her dad a lot more than he needs her in the next 10 years. The wife is a fool for not seeing this. Stand offs like this are how estrangements begin. Hope the little brat is ready for a life without a dad.

Millions of kids grow up without a dad. Millions of kids grow up without grandparents. It’s not some sort of death sentence. And op should care about maintaining a relationship with his daughter as she ages, seems like she is fine hanging with her mom so he’s going to get pushed to the side pretty quick unless HE puts in some effort.

My dad died when I was 8. I've missed him, daily, for 36 years. You can kindly, STFU. I would strongly recommend keeping thoughts like this to yourself. There are lots and lots of people like me out there.

Why should I stfu when you’re literally proving my point? If your dad was alive you’d presumably want a relationship with him. If op wants to have a relationship with his daughter he should be putting in some effort. I’d rather no father than an abusive AH who blows up and gets “irrationally angry” about missing a few phone calls.

You should STFU because those of us missing our dads don't need to be lectured on how to feel about it. And we certainly don't need to hear some AH popping off about how it's NBD. But, if you want to prove to the world how big of a beyotch you are, I won't stop you.

Lol. Telling anon people on the internet to stfu sounds a bit crazy town. Maybe that’s enough internet for you today? Don’t want you getting too worked up over something that happened… 36 years ago.

<to the class>

Should I tell her the irony or see if she can figure it out?

You should sit your ass back down and try to learn something. This isn't clown school. PP's point was solid, and your trolling is weak af.

I knew you wouldn't figure it out. You are dumber than I thought. Bravo, I guess.

Hey there, clever one, I'm not even the PP you were flaming.

You need to log off. Seriously. You just seem deranged at this point. Nobody healthy behaves the way you're behaving, let alone thinks it's smart or cool or strong somehow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is even more unhinged than usual

It's because OP is sockpuppeting the shit out of it, having not immediately gotten the bro support he was apparently expecting. Midway through, it go full misogyny and mess. My money says about half of everything after is Troll OP fueling the fire with cheap replies.

There was even a PP who was like "Nah, I just wish you well" and he clapped back with some "Is that all you've got?!!" like a true 'roid rager.

Dude needs help.

Do you have any proof of that?

Jeff will confirm that the vast majority here are calling for the girl to speak with her GMA and that a few, disturbed, sick losers are the detractors. And he will likely ban you. Have fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you talked with your wife and/or daughter about this about why your daughter doesn't want to talk with her grandmother?

True story: I would not have wanted to, either. I hate the phone, I don't have enough to say to my grandmother EVERY WEEK to be strong armed to spend 5 minutes talking with her.

Yes, I loved my grandparents. And I often - once old enough - dropped by to say hi. Sometimes I'd go alone, sometimes with a sibling, sometimes with a friend. But this was not forced. My parents might have suggested it was time to call or visit ... but they left it up to me to initiate.

Forcing the issue is probably making it worse.

Talking to his family members like a rational person has been suggested by several sane people already. If OP did, he didn't come back to the thread to mention it. That was right around when the thread went totally apeshit, too...

This things are probably connected.

But yeah. That bolded bit. For sure.