Spouse Lets DD Ghost My Mother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Mother is 81, lives alone and has 4 grandkids. Two from me and two from my brother. In addition to our DD, we have a DS. My mother likes weekly calls/face time with them. My son participates happily but my daughter is 'annoyed' by the calls and tries to skip them. I don't allow her to skip them, but my wife does. She'll go so far as to 'forget' to be home with my DD while running errands, schedule conflicting appointments, etc. She will happily 'defend' my DD's objections when I challenge her non participation. Basically, she is complicit and I am irrationally angry over this. Am I wrong?

Yes. Call grandma some other time, it doesn’t need to be on a schedule that blocks errands, etc. grandma isn’t so busy she can’t talk a different 5 minutes of the week.

OP here. Didn't see thin blowing up.

My mother's calls aren't blocking anything. It's the opposite. If she texts our family chat and says "Talk at 4 on Sunday?" my wife will 'accidentally' be at the store with my DD

I don't understand why your mom is scheduling a time to call her grandchild with your wife. You should be reaching out to do that and leave her uninvolved.
Or are you saying your wife somehow finds out when you'll be calling your mom and takes DD out of the house on purpose?

He said that it's a group text to everyone and that his wife will find a reason to take DD out during that time even though it's agreed upon to have a call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless there grandma has been mean to the wife and/or the daughter, the wife is being a sh*tty mother by interfering here. Purposely scheduling errands during the call is interfering. It’s a parents’ job to help kids keep relationships with extended family — even your spouse’s family.

No, it’s not a woman’s job to help kids keep relationships with the man’s mother. He has two hands and a phone, seems perfectly capable of doing it himself - this does not require a vagina!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your spouse is zero percent responsible for you and your DD calling your mother.

This forever.

OP, it's your fscking mom. If you want to force your kid to engage her, YOU do that labor. Damn.

100%

If OP wants these calls to happen, OP needs to do the work. It’s not his wife's responsibility to foster a relationship between his kid and his mother.

OP is making it happen. His c*nt of a wife is actively sabotaging it.

[Anonymous]

OP, just call together with DD when she gets or is home.

[Anonymous]

OP, you have a DW issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

Actually, parents and grandparents who take the time to foster strong, close, reciprocal relationships don't have this problem. It's the ones who were selfish and checked out who do. Then they wake up one day in old age and can't figure out why no one wants to visit them.

Door swings both ways. Sounds like grandma is trying very hard and DD is being a brat fully supported by her mom.

Why is it bratty to not want to talk to someone? Why would you even want a forced conversation?

Normalize letting kids say no. Agency is important.

It's called kindness and compassion. You should find some.

Please, do let me know where you found the obvious surplus you possess...

[Anonymous]

OP, what is the relationship between your wife and mother? You haven't mentioned anything about that, which may be telling....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless there grandma has been mean to the wife and/or the daughter, the wife is being a sh*tty mother by interfering here. Purposely scheduling errands during the call is interfering. It’s a parents’ job to help kids keep relationships with extended family — even your spouse’s family.

No, it’s not a woman’s job to help kids keep relationships with the man’s mother. He has two hands and a phone, seems perfectly capable of doing it himself - this does not require a vagina!

THIS!!!

It's your mom, and you're the one with the problem, YOU fix it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you have a DW issue.

Agreed!!!! I can't believe so many can't see that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you have a DW issue.

Incorrect. OP has control issues that have nothing to do with his wife, who isn't his personal henchman. If he has a problem with his kid, he should take it up with his kid instead of trying to use DW as human shield against the blowback he knows he's got coming for being a controlling ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your spouse is zero percent responsible for you and your DD calling your mother.

This forever.

OP, it's your fscking mom. If you want to force your kid to engage her, YOU do that labor. Damn.

100%

If OP wants these calls to happen, OP needs to do the work. It’s not his wife's responsibility to foster a relationship between his kid and his mother.

OP is making it happen. His c*nt of a wife is actively sabotaging it.

Your misogyny is showing. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you have a DW issue.

Incorrect. OP has control issues that have nothing to do with his wife, who isn't his personal henchman. If he has a problem with his kid, he should take it up with his kid instead of trying to use DW as human shield against the blowback he knows he's got coming for being a controlling ass.

BAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is dead and my dad is deaf, so my kids don’t have to do this. But my ILs and their relationship with my kids is 100% my DH’s job to consider and arrange.

This is the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your spouse is zero percent responsible for you and your DD calling your mother.

This forever.

OP, it's your fscking mom. If you want to force your kid to engage her, YOU do that labor. Damn.

100%

If OP wants these calls to happen, OP needs to do the work. It’s not his wife's responsibility to foster a relationship between his kid and his mother.

OP is making it happen. His c*nt of a wife is actively sabotaging it.

OP is "making it happen" by making sure the housework's done and the groceries are bought before the time he demands everyone show up for his mom on Sunday? No, he's not. OP is, at best, being a whiny bag of petulant betch, complaining that the person doing the household tasks is "actively sabotaging" him because she won't force his kid to make/take a phone call.

OP isn't really doing shit, probably because he ain't shit. This has "spoiled mama's boy" written all over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your spouse is zero percent responsible for you and your DD calling your mother.

This forever.

OP, it's your fscking mom. If you want to force your kid to engage her, YOU do that labor. Damn.

100%

If OP wants these calls to happen, OP needs to do the work. It’s not his wife's responsibility to foster a relationship between his kid and his mother.

OP is making it happen. His c*nt of a wife is actively sabotaging it.

Your misogyny is showing. Gross.

DP. No, it's 100% on point.