Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:its a simple equation that works for pretty much everyone - eat less, move more.

Pretty much this.
Enjoy eating lots of calories? Then make sure your activity level matches.
Don’t enjoy activity? Eat fewer calories.

Either way, stay away from heavily processed crap.

Actually for some people, exercise stimulates conservation of calories and slows the metabolism— your body thinks there is scarcity and conserves. It’s saves energy in other ways, like running cooler, breathing slower in not execution times.

Go watch “Alone” - every single participant loses significant amounts of weight, even those who are relatively successful at procuring food, because they’re still burning a ton and not eating enough to cover it. That’s how human bodies *actually* work.

Or even Survivor. Every single person on the show loses tons of weight including the larger contestants.

Guess what happens when they start eating again? Their bodies think they’ve been starving, hoard more calories, they gain and it’s even harder to lose the weight. Check out what happened to the contestants on “The Biggest Loser” or whatever that weight reality show was called.

People- it is not just a lack of willpower that makes some people heavier than others. No one chooses to be overweight, but it’s harder for them to stop eating than it is for you. It’s very easy to criticize others on an anonymous website. But check yourself before you hit enter. It could be you or your family someday…then you’ll get it.

Just. Stop.

Believe or not, in a country in which two thirds of adults are overweight or obese, the vast majority of us know and care about at least one overweight person. And for the vast, vast majority of people, it is absolutely a lack of willpower as well as a refusal to experience the slightest pang of hunger for even the tiniest length of time.

Teach your children that they don’t always need to feel full and then they won’t get to the point of being overweight and unable to control their urges to eat (ie food addiction) in the first place.

It's really not that simple. The willpower element doesn't have to be as strong for some people than others. Just try to relate it to another issue in your life. I personally never crave alcohol, I can have a glass of wine one day and then none for months and never even think about it. Some people truly struggle with addiction and cannot stop. With food it's harder in a way because you cannot just stop needing food. You have to face your addiction at every meal. Some people on weight threads lack compassion to a concerning degree. There is too much morality associated to obesity.

You’re confusing morality with responsibility. I don’t judge the character of overweight people (meaning I don’t think they’re bad or unworthy), but that doesn’t mean I don’t recognize that it is 100% their own d@mn fault they’re overweight. (Unless they’re kids, in which case it’s their parents’ fault.)

Is it also your own d@mn fault that you are stupid?

DP, she is not stupid, however you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BMI of 25 would be roughly 5’5” and 150 lbs, which isn’t abnormal for a 45 year old woman but I can see it sticking out a little bit for a ritzy private HS kid. Cut way back on snacks, sweets, cook and eat more meals at home/much less restaurant food. It’s easy for the teen age range to drop weight quickly. Also make sure she looks good in her clothes - bras that actually fit and don’t cause back fat and lumps, pants that are the right size and aren’t giving muffin top. Physical activity is important, but just “doing a sport” alone isn’t going to really move the needle on weight if the diet doesn’t improve.

That is some mental weight gymnastic! I am 54, almost 5'5", and weigh 125 lbs. I have a belly and fat in my belly. If I were 150, I would be fat, as plain as that.
Now, you are comparing a teen's weight to grown older women. Teens at that weight are overweight. OP and the child's father are responsible for this, not the child. And now you are telling her mom to help her hide her fat? Hence, teach the kid to be ashamed of her looks. Everything you wrote is messed up. OP needs to accept her responsibility and apologizes to her daughter.

Adults are responsible for their actions, kids are not, not when it comes to weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI of 25 would be roughly 5’5” and 150 lbs, which isn’t abnormal for a 45 year old woman but I can see it sticking out a little bit for a ritzy private HS kid. Cut way back on snacks, sweets, cook and eat more meals at home/much less restaurant food. It’s easy for the teen age range to drop weight quickly. Also make sure she looks good in her clothes - bras that actually fit and don’t cause back fat and lumps, pants that are the right size and aren’t giving muffin top. Physical activity is important, but just “doing a sport” alone isn’t going to really move the needle on weight if the diet doesn’t improve.

That is some mental weight gymnastic! I am 54, almost 5'5", and weigh 125 lbs. I have a belly and fat in my belly. If I were 150, I would be fat, as plain as that.
Now, you are comparing a teen's weight to grown older women. Teens at that weight are overweight. OP and the child's father are responsible for this, not the child. And now you are telling her mom to help her hide her fat? Hence, teach the kid to be ashamed of her looks. Everything you wrote is messed up. OP needs to accept her responsibility and apologizes to her daughter.

Adults are responsible for their actions, kids are not, not when it comes to weight.

Wow. Vicious atmosphere for girls at these schools. Created by parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI of 25 would be roughly 5’5” and 150 lbs, which isn’t abnormal for a 45 year old woman but I can see it sticking out a little bit for a ritzy private HS kid. Cut way back on snacks, sweets, cook and eat more meals at home/much less restaurant food. It’s easy for the teen age range to drop weight quickly. Also make sure she looks good in her clothes - bras that actually fit and don’t cause back fat and lumps, pants that are the right size and aren’t giving muffin top. Physical activity is important, but just “doing a sport” alone isn’t going to really move the needle on weight if the diet doesn’t improve.

That is some mental weight gymnastic! I am 54, almost 5'5", and weigh 125 lbs. I have a belly and fat in my belly. If I were 150, I would be fat, as plain as that.
Now, you are comparing a teen's weight to grown older women. Teens at that weight are overweight. OP and the child's father are responsible for this, not the child. And now you are telling her mom to help her hide her fat? Hence, teach the kid to be ashamed of her looks. Everything you wrote is messed up. OP needs to accept her responsibility and apologizes to her daughter.

Adults are responsible for their actions, kids are not, not when it comes to weight.

This might be the craziest response yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI of 25 would be roughly 5’5” and 150 lbs, which isn’t abnormal for a 45 year old woman but I can see it sticking out a little bit for a ritzy private HS kid. Cut way back on snacks, sweets, cook and eat more meals at home/much less restaurant food. It’s easy for the teen age range to drop weight quickly. Also make sure she looks good in her clothes - bras that actually fit and don’t cause back fat and lumps, pants that are the right size and aren’t giving muffin top. Physical activity is important, but just “doing a sport” alone isn’t going to really move the needle on weight if the diet doesn’t improve.

That is some mental weight gymnastic! I am 54, almost 5'5", and weigh 125 lbs. I have a belly and fat in my belly. If I were 150, I would be fat, as plain as that.
Now, you are comparing a teen's weight to grown older women. Teens at that weight are overweight. OP and the child's father are responsible for this, not the child. And now you are telling her mom to help her hide her fat? Hence, teach the kid to be ashamed of her looks. Everything you wrote is messed up. OP needs to accept her responsibility and apologizes to her daughter.

Adults are responsible for their actions, kids are not, not when it comes to weight.

Wow. Vicious atmosphere for girls at these schools. Created by parents.

It's vicious having to grow up being fed like a goose at home and then being bullied in school because your mom failed at basic parenting. You should be the one suffering, not your child. They did nothing wrong. Stop being irresponsible, partner. Your child is not big-boned; your child is not ok weight, and your child is not just genetically overweight. Your child just has bad parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI of 25 would be roughly 5’5” and 150 lbs, which isn’t abnormal for a 45 year old woman but I can see it sticking out a little bit for a ritzy private HS kid. Cut way back on snacks, sweets, cook and eat more meals at home/much less restaurant food. It’s easy for the teen age range to drop weight quickly. Also make sure she looks good in her clothes - bras that actually fit and don’t cause back fat and lumps, pants that are the right size and aren’t giving muffin top. Physical activity is important, but just “doing a sport” alone isn’t going to really move the needle on weight if the diet doesn’t improve.

That is some mental weight gymnastic! I am 54, almost 5'5", and weigh 125 lbs. I have a belly and fat in my belly. If I were 150, I would be fat, as plain as that.
Now, you are comparing a teen's weight to grown older women. Teens at that weight are overweight. OP and the child's father are responsible for this, not the child. And now you are telling her mom to help her hide her fat? Hence, teach the kid to be ashamed of her looks. Everything you wrote is messed up. OP needs to accept her responsibility and apologizes to her daughter.

Adults are responsible for their actions, kids are not, not when it comes to weight.

This might be the craziest response yet.

This response is only crazy to people like you who deny their failures. You are a narcissist who knows nothing better than to insult people. You have not argument, let alone a scientific one, to prove a single thing said is wrong. Your poor child has to grow up with a narcissist who abuses them because that is how you get any modicum of self-esteem. It is clear that you are happy your child is overweight or has some other issue. If not weight, you would find something else to abuse them about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI of 25 would be roughly 5’5” and 150 lbs, which isn’t abnormal for a 45 year old woman but I can see it sticking out a little bit for a ritzy private HS kid. Cut way back on snacks, sweets, cook and eat more meals at home/much less restaurant food. It’s easy for the teen age range to drop weight quickly. Also make sure she looks good in her clothes - bras that actually fit and don’t cause back fat and lumps, pants that are the right size and aren’t giving muffin top. Physical activity is important, but just “doing a sport” alone isn’t going to really move the needle on weight if the diet doesn’t improve.

That is some mental weight gymnastic! I am 54, almost 5'5", and weigh 125 lbs. I have a belly and fat in my belly. If I were 150, I would be fat, as plain as that.
Now, you are comparing a teen's weight to grown older women. Teens at that weight are overweight. OP and the child's father are responsible for this, not the child. And now you are telling her mom to help her hide her fat? Hence, teach the kid to be ashamed of her looks. Everything you wrote is messed up. OP needs to accept her responsibility and apologizes to her daughter.

Adults are responsible for their actions, kids are not, not when it comes to weight.

This might be the craziest response yet.

This response is only crazy to people like you who deny their failures. You are a narcissist who knows nothing better than to insult people. You have not argument, let alone a scientific one, to prove a single thing said is wrong. Your poor child has to grow up with a narcissist who abuses them because that is how you get any modicum of self-esteem. It is clear that you are happy your child is overweight or has some other issue. If not weight, you would find something else to abuse them about.

You are clearly disturbed mentally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI of 25 would be roughly 5’5” and 150 lbs, which isn’t abnormal for a 45 year old woman but I can see it sticking out a little bit for a ritzy private HS kid. Cut way back on snacks, sweets, cook and eat more meals at home/much less restaurant food. It’s easy for the teen age range to drop weight quickly. Also make sure she looks good in her clothes - bras that actually fit and don’t cause back fat and lumps, pants that are the right size and aren’t giving muffin top. Physical activity is important, but just “doing a sport” alone isn’t going to really move the needle on weight if the diet doesn’t improve.

That is some mental weight gymnastic! I am 54, almost 5'5", and weigh 125 lbs. I have a belly and fat in my belly. If I were 150, I would be fat, as plain as that.
Now, you are comparing a teen's weight to grown older women. Teens at that weight are overweight. OP and the child's father are responsible for this, not the child. And now you are telling her mom to help her hide her fat? Hence, teach the kid to be ashamed of her looks. Everything you wrote is messed up. OP needs to accept her responsibility and apologizes to her daughter.

Adults are responsible for their actions, kids are not, not when it comes to weight.

This might be the craziest response yet.

This response is only crazy to people like you who deny their failures. You are a narcissist who knows nothing better than to insult people. You have not argument, let alone a scientific one, to prove a single thing said is wrong. Your poor child has to grow up with a narcissist who abuses them because that is how you get any modicum of self-esteem. It is clear that you are happy your child is overweight or has some other issue. If not weight, you would find something else to abuse them about.

You are clearly disturbed mentally.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI of 25 would be roughly 5’5” and 150 lbs, which isn’t abnormal for a 45 year old woman but I can see it sticking out a little bit for a ritzy private HS kid. Cut way back on snacks, sweets, cook and eat more meals at home/much less restaurant food. It’s easy for the teen age range to drop weight quickly. Also make sure she looks good in her clothes - bras that actually fit and don’t cause back fat and lumps, pants that are the right size and aren’t giving muffin top. Physical activity is important, but just “doing a sport” alone isn’t going to really move the needle on weight if the diet doesn’t improve.

That is some mental weight gymnastic! I am 54, almost 5'5", and weigh 125 lbs. I have a belly and fat in my belly. If I were 150, I would be fat, as plain as that.
Now, you are comparing a teen's weight to grown older women. Teens at that weight are overweight. OP and the child's father are responsible for this, not the child. And now you are telling her mom to help her hide her fat? Hence, teach the kid to be ashamed of her looks. Everything you wrote is messed up. OP needs to accept her responsibility and apologizes to her daughter.

Adults are responsible for their actions, kids are not, not when it comes to weight.

Wow. Vicious atmosphere for girls at these schools. Created by parents.

It's vicious having to grow up being fed like a goose at home and then being bullied in school because your mom failed at basic parenting. You should be the one suffering, not your child. They did nothing wrong. Stop being irresponsible, partner. Your child is not big-boned; your child is not ok weight, and your child is not just genetically overweight. Your child just has bad parents.

My child is fine. You, OTOH, need to chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI of 25 would be roughly 5’5” and 150 lbs, which isn’t abnormal for a 45 year old woman but I can see it sticking out a little bit for a ritzy private HS kid. Cut way back on snacks, sweets, cook and eat more meals at home/much less restaurant food. It’s easy for the teen age range to drop weight quickly. Also make sure she looks good in her clothes - bras that actually fit and don’t cause back fat and lumps, pants that are the right size and aren’t giving muffin top. Physical activity is important, but just “doing a sport” alone isn’t going to really move the needle on weight if the diet doesn’t improve.

That is some mental weight gymnastic! I am 54, almost 5'5", and weigh 125 lbs. I have a belly and fat in my belly. If I were 150, I would be fat, as plain as that.
Now, you are comparing a teen's weight to grown older women. Teens at that weight are overweight. OP and the child's father are responsible for this, not the child. And now you are telling her mom to help her hide her fat? Hence, teach the kid to be ashamed of her looks. Everything you wrote is messed up. OP needs to accept her responsibility and apologizes to her daughter.

Adults are responsible for their actions, kids are not, not when it comes to weight.

This might be the craziest response yet.

This response is only crazy to people like you who deny their failures. You are a narcissist who knows nothing better than to insult people. You have not argument, let alone a scientific one, to prove a single thing said is wrong. Your poor child has to grow up with a narcissist who abuses them because that is how you get any modicum of self-esteem. It is clear that you are happy your child is overweight or has some other issue. If not weight, you would find something else to abuse them about.

Why are you calling names?

[Anonymous]

Wow - what is up with these DCUM posters, imagine how angry and sad one must be to go on an anonymous group like this and get your jollies off berating parents looking for advice. Like I’m always shocked at the pathetic responses. Like….people enjoy this?

Anyway yes this is big for a high school girl. Blame game helps no one. It’s likely a lot of different factors. And the situation isn’t changing overnight. Keep her busy, buy healthy food for the house and if you can throw a little money on hair, makeup, dermatologist, the right clothing etc so at least everything else is on point. A pretty girl with perfect blonde highlights, great skin, and great style can get away with being a little bigger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI of 25 would be roughly 5’5” and 150 lbs, which isn’t abnormal for a 45 year old woman but I can see it sticking out a little bit for a ritzy private HS kid. Cut way back on snacks, sweets, cook and eat more meals at home/much less restaurant food. It’s easy for the teen age range to drop weight quickly. Also make sure she looks good in her clothes - bras that actually fit and don’t cause back fat and lumps, pants that are the right size and aren’t giving muffin top. Physical activity is important, but just “doing a sport” alone isn’t going to really move the needle on weight if the diet doesn’t improve.

That is some mental weight gymnastic! I am 54, almost 5'5", and weigh 125 lbs. I have a belly and fat in my belly. If I were 150, I would be fat, as plain as that.
Now, you are comparing a teen's weight to grown older women. Teens at that weight are overweight. OP and the child's father are responsible for this, not the child. And now you are telling her mom to help her hide her fat? Hence, teach the kid to be ashamed of her looks. Everything you wrote is messed up. OP needs to accept her responsibility and apologizes to her daughter.

Adults are responsible for their actions, kids are not, not when it comes to weight.

This might be the craziest response yet.

I’m not that pp but I posted a few pages back that I’m a BMI of 22 and not really thin. I’m 5’4” and weigh 128 pounds. I’m totally not thin at all. I have a little belly and my face feels chubby today. I feel very average size.

If I was 150 pounds and BMI of 25, I would be fat. This is as a middle aged woman. For a teen, that would absolutely be fat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI of 25 would be roughly 5’5” and 150 lbs, which isn’t abnormal for a 45 year old woman but I can see it sticking out a little bit for a ritzy private HS kid. Cut way back on snacks, sweets, cook and eat more meals at home/much less restaurant food. It’s easy for the teen age range to drop weight quickly. Also make sure she looks good in her clothes - bras that actually fit and don’t cause back fat and lumps, pants that are the right size and aren’t giving muffin top. Physical activity is important, but just “doing a sport” alone isn’t going to really move the needle on weight if the diet doesn’t improve.

That is some mental weight gymnastic! I am 54, almost 5'5", and weigh 125 lbs. I have a belly and fat in my belly. If I were 150, I would be fat, as plain as that.
Now, you are comparing a teen's weight to grown older women. Teens at that weight are overweight. OP and the child's father are responsible for this, not the child. And now you are telling her mom to help her hide her fat? Hence, teach the kid to be ashamed of her looks. Everything you wrote is messed up. OP needs to accept her responsibility and apologizes to her daughter.

Adults are responsible for their actions, kids are not, not when it comes to weight.

This might be the craziest response yet.

I’m not that pp but I posted a few pages back that I’m a BMI of 22 and not really thin. I’m 5’4” and weigh 128 pounds. I’m totally not thin at all. I have a little belly and my face feels chubby today. I feel very average size.

If I was 150 pounds and BMI of 25, I would be fat. This is as a middle aged woman. For a teen, that would absolutely be fat.

And? 12 pages in, that is helpful how?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI of 25 would be roughly 5’5” and 150 lbs, which isn’t abnormal for a 45 year old woman but I can see it sticking out a little bit for a ritzy private HS kid. Cut way back on snacks, sweets, cook and eat more meals at home/much less restaurant food. It’s easy for the teen age range to drop weight quickly. Also make sure she looks good in her clothes - bras that actually fit and don’t cause back fat and lumps, pants that are the right size and aren’t giving muffin top. Physical activity is important, but just “doing a sport” alone isn’t going to really move the needle on weight if the diet doesn’t improve.

That is some mental weight gymnastic! I am 54, almost 5'5", and weigh 125 lbs. I have a belly and fat in my belly. If I were 150, I would be fat, as plain as that.
Now, you are comparing a teen's weight to grown older women. Teens at that weight are overweight. OP and the child's father are responsible for this, not the child. And now you are telling her mom to help her hide her fat? Hence, teach the kid to be ashamed of her looks. Everything you wrote is messed up. OP needs to accept her responsibility and apologizes to her daughter.

Adults are responsible for their actions, kids are not, not when it comes to weight.

This might be the craziest response yet.

I’m not that pp but I posted a few pages back that I’m a BMI of 22 and not really thin. I’m 5’4” and weigh 128 pounds. I’m totally not thin at all. I have a little belly and my face feels chubby today. I feel very average size.

If I was 150 pounds and BMI of 25, I would be fat. This is as a middle aged woman. For a teen, that would absolutely be fat.

And? 12 pages in, that is helpful how?

BMI of 25 is fat. It just is.

[Anonymous]

Teen girls are usually thin and weigh 100 pounds.