SAHMs with no retirement or college savings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was like this. It was really annoying. They then refused to pay for college but I had to pick up their tab due to the expected family contribution and due to my dad's income, I could not get grants. My dad was not loaded but had enough that I was not grant eligible. I took out private loans at 9% and had 70k in debt from undergrad in 1999.

It really derailed my adult life. I did okay but I could have done better if I did not have that debt because I felt I could not consider professional school. It took all the joy out of my 20s...I worked 3 jobs until 33 to pay it off.

I felt my mom was lazy and had no excuse.

I will never every do that to my kids.

I work full time and have since they were born.

Wait.. YOU picked up THEIR tab? Entitled much?

Yes. I picked up their tab. It is called an expected family contribution. Everyone has this. If your parents make no money, their expectation is $0. My parents had a little so there was no grants for me. I could get some stafford loans but that did not cover the cost of education at even a public school. I went to a private school that was cheaper than public due to a scholarship. I still had the deficit is what the federal govt. says my parents should pay. I could not say they would not pay and redo my financial aid package. I tried. Every student has an EFC. Most kids do not have to go to the bank to take out private loans because their parents refuse to pay. I was not eligible for more aid. It was their tab, according to the government. If my parents were low-income, I could have gotten pell grants and other grants to cover the cost. You do not understand financial aid. The kicker was that I got into a different college that gave me more scholarship money and they refused to let me go there, and then they stopped paying. Transferring would not work because I did not take that scholarship because it had expired because I did not enroll as a freshman. Having to get a 9% loan to cover the cost of what the federal government said they would contribute and would not give me more aid was their tab. Ballooning to 70k in 1999 was unheard of. That is what happens with private loans. Get off my case. They insisted on college and screwed me.

I’m so sorry OP! You still sound angry. I wish you luck.

Of course I am angry. It changed the trajectory of my life and limited me from pursuing professional school (law or medicine). I had too much debt. I could not consider more. I had a $800 student loan payment at 21 with a BA. I barely speak to my parents now. I will never, ever do that to my kids (and the reason they cut me off...they are racist and found out about my boyfriend). This is not a forgivable thing. My kids are are on track to have college paid for.

Girl, it's not your parents fault you took out all that money. Tuition at University of Maryland was $3,500 per year in 1995. You could have gone to a community college for much less. Having $70k of student debt in the 90s from just undergrad is no one's fault but your own. Like, you'd specifically have to TRY to have that much debt. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was like this. It was really annoying. They then refused to pay for college but I had to pick up their tab due to the expected family contribution and due to my dad's income, I could not get grants. My dad was not loaded but had enough that I was not grant eligible. I took out private loans at 9% and had 70k in debt from undergrad in 1999.

It really derailed my adult life. I did okay but I could have done better if I did not have that debt because I felt I could not consider professional school. It took all the joy out of my 20s...I worked 3 jobs until 33 to pay it off.

I felt my mom was lazy and had no excuse.

I will never every do that to my kids.

I work full time and have since they were born.

Wait.. YOU picked up THEIR tab? Entitled much?

Yes. I picked up their tab. It is called an expected family contribution. Everyone has this. If your parents make no money, their expectation is $0. My parents had a little so there was no grants for me. I could get some stafford loans but that did not cover the cost of education at even a public school. I went to a private school that was cheaper than public due to a scholarship. I still had the deficit is what the federal govt. says my parents should pay. I could not say they would not pay and redo my financial aid package. I tried. Every student has an EFC. Most kids do not have to go to the bank to take out private loans because their parents refuse to pay. I was not eligible for more aid. It was their tab, according to the government. If my parents were low-income, I could have gotten pell grants and other grants to cover the cost. You do not understand financial aid. The kicker was that I got into a different college that gave me more scholarship money and they refused to let me go there, and then they stopped paying. Transferring would not work because I did not take that scholarship because it had expired because I did not enroll as a freshman. Having to get a 9% loan to cover the cost of what the federal government said they would contribute and would not give me more aid was their tab. Ballooning to 70k in 1999 was unheard of. That is what happens with private loans. Get off my case. They insisted on college and screwed me.

I’m so sorry OP! You still sound angry. I wish you luck.

Of course I am angry. It changed the trajectory of my life and limited me from pursuing professional school (law or medicine). I had too much debt. I could not consider more. I had a $800 student loan payment at 21 with a BA. I barely speak to my parents now. I will never, ever do that to my kids (and the reason they cut me off...they are racist and found out about my boyfriend). This is not a forgivable thing. My kids are are on track to have college paid for.

Girl, it's not your parents fault you took out all that money. Tuition at University of Maryland was $3,500 per year in 1995. You could have gone to a community college for much less. Having $70k of student debt in the 90s from just undergrad is no one's fault but your own. Like, you'd specifically have to TRY to have that much debt. Grow up.

Yeah, I don't get this. If your private school was cheaper than state school, and this happened in the 90s, how in the hell did you manage to need to take out $70k in loans? COA of state schools in the 90s was $10k at most. What happened?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you're a troll, but I'l answer why I probably won't go back to work even though I might not even be able to pay for tuition at a state school.

I have applied to many, many jobs, and I can't get any that will work with a flexible-ish schedule that would actually make a decent amount of money. I am being picky, I know, but I would like medical and maybe 60K. The only thing I can think of that would get me some marketable skills are going back to school (which would require money upfront) or doing something very low-paying in the hopes that it would eventually lead to something more. I'm not sure I'd be better off doing that than I would be focusing on saving money at home.

Right now, I like being able to do all my home tasks while the kids are at school so we can all just chill on the weekends, and I like spending after-school time with my kids since they are going to be gone so soon. At this point I'm not going to get a job that wouldn't let me do those things so they can go to a more expensive school. That is just my choice.

Also, some people don't realize just how expensive college has become. They think that the way to afford college is pretty much the same as what it was when they went, and that every single person complaining about student loans is just an idiot who went to a college that can change lives for a degree in gender studies.

The ironic part about this is that trying to find this kind of flexibility with no updated skill set in essentially an entry level position, is nearly impossible. If college educated women choose not to leave the workforce for 10 years and kept going, they’d be skilled enough and with enough experience in white collar jobs to get one with this exact kind of flexibility! How do I know? Because I’m a mom who works fully remote at home from approx 9am to 3:30pm when my dd gets off the bus from school. I have unlimited PTO so I have no hesitation in taking sick days when my kids are home sick or need to go to appointments. Sure, I might not become a VP but I have exactly what this pp describes (and make over 160k to boot) because I didn't leave the workforce to be a sah. And if god forbid something we’re to happen to our marriage or Dh, I can support my family and have my own retirement savings. It is such a huge risk and loss that women take when they choose to stay at home.

If daycare was more available and affordable, and maternity leave were longer, you might see more women that don't quit to SAH. I personally left to SAH and I didn't want to quit entirely, but I didn't really have any good options at the time.

Are you a college graduate? Because honestly, while I agree daycare should be MUCH more affordable and and accessible, I had my first kid right after H and I graduated college. While paying for daycare was definitely hard (and we definitely could not afford the fanciest centers), we were able to put our kids in a great, loving center and the amount of time where daycare was more expensive than my (pretty mediocre) income was only a couple years. So I do struggle to understand how those that were presumably in a better position than us didn't have any really good options (because really, unless you didn't have a degree, you were probably in a better position than we were).

I think PP is right and ultimately a lot of women who state this didn't want to work in the first place, which is fine. But I have to believe most college educated women are capable of realizing that the long term benefits of staying in the workforce and losing some money to daycare and/or getting back into the workforce ASAP is the better long term option financially for those who are concerned about the impact of future income on retirement and college savings.

[Anonymous]

I have quite a few friends I've made in our neighborhood/community who are SAHMs that now have all their kids in school and are struggling with what to do. It's a hard thing to leave the workforce for 6-10 years and then go back. Most of them no longer want to do what they went to college for. So, in my small sample, some have gone back to school for new degrees, some went back to full time teaching (so many of the women I know personally were teachers), some substitute teach for a little extra cash, and some have just stayed home and do lots of volunteering. I only know one woman in my small sample who rejoined the workforce in a similar job and at a similar level to where she left it.

If your family has enough money to live comfortably, I can see how it's hard to summon the motivation to overcome all of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was like this. It was really annoying. They then refused to pay for college but I had to pick up their tab due to the expected family contribution and due to my dad's income, I could not get grants. My dad was not loaded but had enough that I was not grant eligible. I took out private loans at 9% and had 70k in debt from undergrad in 1999.

It really derailed my adult life. I did okay but I could have done better if I did not have that debt because I felt I could not consider professional school. It took all the joy out of my 20s...I worked 3 jobs until 33 to pay it off.

I felt my mom was lazy and had no excuse.

I will never every do that to my kids.

I work full time and have since they were born.

Wait.. YOU picked up THEIR tab? Entitled much?

Yes. I picked up their tab. It is called an expected family contribution. Everyone has this. If your parents make no money, their expectation is $0. My parents had a little so there was no grants for me. I could get some stafford loans but that did not cover the cost of education at even a public school. I went to a private school that was cheaper than public due to a scholarship. I still had the deficit is what the federal govt. says my parents should pay. I could not say they would not pay and redo my financial aid package. I tried. Every student has an EFC. Most kids do not have to go to the bank to take out private loans because their parents refuse to pay. I was not eligible for more aid. It was their tab, according to the government. If my parents were low-income, I could have gotten pell grants and other grants to cover the cost. You do not understand financial aid. The kicker was that I got into a different college that gave me more scholarship money and they refused to let me go there, and then they stopped paying. Transferring would not work because I did not take that scholarship because it had expired because I did not enroll as a freshman. Having to get a 9% loan to cover the cost of what the federal government said they would contribute and would not give me more aid was their tab. Ballooning to 70k in 1999 was unheard of. That is what happens with private loans. Get off my case. They insisted on college and screwed me.

I’m so sorry OP! You still sound angry. I wish you luck.

Of course I am angry. It changed the trajectory of my life and limited me from pursuing professional school (law or medicine). I had too much debt. I could not consider more. I had a $800 student loan payment at 21 with a BA. I barely speak to my parents now. I will never, ever do that to my kids (and the reason they cut me off...they are racist and found out about my boyfriend). This is not a forgivable thing. My kids are are on track to have college paid for.

Girl, it's not your parents fault you took out all that money. Tuition at University of Maryland was $3,500 per year in 1995. You could have gone to a community college for much less. Having $70k of student debt in the 90s from just undergrad is no one's fault but your own. Like, you'd specifically have to TRY to have that much debt. Grow up.

Yeah, I don't get this. If your private school was cheaper than state school, and this happened in the 90s, how in the hell did you manage to need to take out $70k in loans? COA of state schools in the 90s was $10k at most. What happened?!

9% interest loans …I did not take out 70k. I took out about 40. State was not cheaper….I had to pay room and board as well as tuition. You do not understand how financial aid works for people whose parents’ income does not allow eligibility for grants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was like this. It was really annoying. They then refused to pay for college but I had to pick up their tab due to the expected family contribution and due to my dad's income, I could not get grants. My dad was not loaded but had enough that I was not grant eligible. I took out private loans at 9% and had 70k in debt from undergrad in 1999.

It really derailed my adult life. I did okay but I could have done better if I did not have that debt because I felt I could not consider professional school. It took all the joy out of my 20s...I worked 3 jobs until 33 to pay it off.

I felt my mom was lazy and had no excuse.

I will never every do that to my kids.

I work full time and have since they were born.

Wait.. YOU picked up THEIR tab? Entitled much?

Yes. I picked up their tab. It is called an expected family contribution. Everyone has this. If your parents make no money, their expectation is $0. My parents had a little so there was no grants for me. I could get some stafford loans but that did not cover the cost of education at even a public school. I went to a private school that was cheaper than public due to a scholarship. I still had the deficit is what the federal govt. says my parents should pay. I could not say they would not pay and redo my financial aid package. I tried. Every student has an EFC. Most kids do not have to go to the bank to take out private loans because their parents refuse to pay. I was not eligible for more aid. It was their tab, according to the government. If my parents were low-income, I could have gotten pell grants and other grants to cover the cost. You do not understand financial aid. The kicker was that I got into a different college that gave me more scholarship money and they refused to let me go there, and then they stopped paying. Transferring would not work because I did not take that scholarship because it had expired because I did not enroll as a freshman. Having to get a 9% loan to cover the cost of what the federal government said they would contribute and would not give me more aid was their tab. Ballooning to 70k in 1999 was unheard of. That is what happens with private loans. Get off my case. They insisted on college and screwed me.

I’m so sorry OP! You still sound angry. I wish you luck.

Of course I am angry. It changed the trajectory of my life and limited me from pursuing professional school (law or medicine). I had too much debt. I could not consider more. I had a $800 student loan payment at 21 with a BA. I barely speak to my parents now. I will never, ever do that to my kids (and the reason they cut me off...they are racist and found out about my boyfriend). This is not a forgivable thing. My kids are are on track to have college paid for.

Girl, it's not your parents fault you took out all that money. Tuition at University of Maryland was $3,500 per year in 1995. You could have gone to a community college for much less. Having $70k of student debt in the 90s from just undergrad is no one's fault but your own. Like, you'd specifically have to TRY to have that much debt. Grow up.

Yeah, I don't get this. If your private school was cheaper than state school, and this happened in the 90s, how in the hell did you manage to need to take out $70k in loans? COA of state schools in the 90s was $10k at most. What happened?!

9% interest loans …I did not take out 70k. I took out about 40. State was not cheaper….I had to pay room and board as well as tuition. You do not understand how financial aid works for people whose parents’ income does not allow eligibility for grants.

And adding to this….

Tuition at my institution in 96, 97, 98 was $16,630, $17,635, and $18,525.

Room and board was $10,000 ish.

My academic scholarship covered about 75% of tuition. That made it equal or less that a state school. I went to the nearby financial aid office and they told me point blank transferring was not cheaper and 1 year of credits would not transfer so I would pay more ultimately.

My parents EFC was 12k a year. That means I could only get a small part covered with Stafford loans no matter where I attended. I had to go to chase bank to take out private loans for 6 semesters at 9 percent. Interest accrued immediately while I was in college: it ballooned to about 70k in 1999.

I graduated a semester early finding a loophole to take 24 credits in one semester to save money. I was working 30 hours a week.

Eff off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was like this. It was really annoying. They then refused to pay for college but I had to pick up their tab due to the expected family contribution and due to my dad's income, I could not get grants. My dad was not loaded but had enough that I was not grant eligible. I took out private loans at 9% and had 70k in debt from undergrad in 1999.

It really derailed my adult life. I did okay but I could have done better if I did not have that debt because I felt I could not consider professional school. It took all the joy out of my 20s...I worked 3 jobs until 33 to pay it off.

I felt my mom was lazy and had no excuse.

I will never every do that to my kids.

I work full time and have since they were born.

Wait.. YOU picked up THEIR tab? Entitled much?

Yes. I picked up their tab. It is called an expected family contribution. Everyone has this. If your parents make no money, their expectation is $0. My parents had a little so there was no grants for me. I could get some stafford loans but that did not cover the cost of education at even a public school. I went to a private school that was cheaper than public due to a scholarship. I still had the deficit is what the federal govt. says my parents should pay. I could not say they would not pay and redo my financial aid package. I tried. Every student has an EFC. Most kids do not have to go to the bank to take out private loans because their parents refuse to pay. I was not eligible for more aid. It was their tab, according to the government. If my parents were low-income, I could have gotten pell grants and other grants to cover the cost. You do not understand financial aid. The kicker was that I got into a different college that gave me more scholarship money and they refused to let me go there, and then they stopped paying. Transferring would not work because I did not take that scholarship because it had expired because I did not enroll as a freshman. Having to get a 9% loan to cover the cost of what the federal government said they would contribute and would not give me more aid was their tab. Ballooning to 70k in 1999 was unheard of. That is what happens with private loans. Get off my case. They insisted on college and screwed me.

I’m so sorry OP! You still sound angry. I wish you luck.

Of course I am angry. It changed the trajectory of my life and limited me from pursuing professional school (law or medicine). I had too much debt. I could not consider more. I had a $800 student loan payment at 21 with a BA. I barely speak to my parents now. I will never, ever do that to my kids (and the reason they cut me off...they are racist and found out about my boyfriend). This is not a forgivable thing. My kids are are on track to have college paid for.

Girl, it's not your parents fault you took out all that money. Tuition at University of Maryland was $3,500 per year in 1995. You could have gone to a community college for much less. Having $70k of student debt in the 90s from just undergrad is no one's fault but your own. Like, you'd specifically have to TRY to have that much debt. Grow up.

Yeah, I don't get this. If your private school was cheaper than state school, and this happened in the 90s, how in the hell did you manage to need to take out $70k in loans? COA of state schools in the 90s was $10k at most. What happened?!

9% interest loans …I did not take out 70k. I took out about 40. State was not cheaper….I had to pay room and board as well as tuition. You do not understand how financial aid works for people whose parents’ income does not allow eligibility for grants.

And adding to this….

Tuition at my institution in 96, 97, 98 was $16,630, $17,635, and $18,525.

Room and board was $10,000 ish.

My academic scholarship covered about 75% of tuition. That made it equal or less that a state school. I went to the nearby financial aid office and they told me point blank transferring was not cheaper and 1 year of credits would not transfer so I would pay more ultimately.

My parents EFC was 12k a year. That means I could only get a small part covered with Stafford loans no matter where I attended. I had to go to chase bank to take out private loans for 6 semesters at 9 percent. Interest accrued immediately while I was in college: it ballooned to about 70k in 1999.

I graduated a semester early finding a loophole to take 24 credits in one semester to save money. I was working 30 hours a week.

Eff off.

NP. You complain too much. You created your own financial issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was like this. It was really annoying. They then refused to pay for college but I had to pick up their tab due to the expected family contribution and due to my dad's income, I could not get grants. My dad was not loaded but had enough that I was not grant eligible. I took out private loans at 9% and had 70k in debt from undergrad in 1999.

It really derailed my adult life. I did okay but I could have done better if I did not have that debt because I felt I could not consider professional school. It took all the joy out of my 20s...I worked 3 jobs until 33 to pay it off.

I felt my mom was lazy and had no excuse.

I will never every do that to my kids.

I work full time and have since they were born.

Wait.. YOU picked up THEIR tab? Entitled much?

Yes. I picked up their tab. It is called an expected family contribution. Everyone has this. If your parents make no money, their expectation is $0. My parents had a little so there was no grants for me. I could get some stafford loans but that did not cover the cost of education at even a public school. I went to a private school that was cheaper than public due to a scholarship. I still had the deficit is what the federal govt. says my parents should pay. I could not say they would not pay and redo my financial aid package. I tried. Every student has an EFC. Most kids do not have to go to the bank to take out private loans because their parents refuse to pay. I was not eligible for more aid. It was their tab, according to the government. If my parents were low-income, I could have gotten pell grants and other grants to cover the cost. You do not understand financial aid. The kicker was that I got into a different college that gave me more scholarship money and they refused to let me go there, and then they stopped paying. Transferring would not work because I did not take that scholarship because it had expired because I did not enroll as a freshman. Having to get a 9% loan to cover the cost of what the federal government said they would contribute and would not give me more aid was their tab. Ballooning to 70k in 1999 was unheard of. That is what happens with private loans. Get off my case. They insisted on college and screwed me.

I’m so sorry OP! You still sound angry. I wish you luck.

Of course I am angry. It changed the trajectory of my life and limited me from pursuing professional school (law or medicine). I had too much debt. I could not consider more. I had a $800 student loan payment at 21 with a BA. I barely speak to my parents now. I will never, ever do that to my kids (and the reason they cut me off...they are racist and found out about my boyfriend). This is not a forgivable thing. My kids are are on track to have college paid for.

Girl, it's not your parents fault you took out all that money. Tuition at University of Maryland was $3,500 per year in 1995. You could have gone to a community college for much less. Having $70k of student debt in the 90s from just undergrad is no one's fault but your own. Like, you'd specifically have to TRY to have that much debt. Grow up.

Yeah, I don't get this. If your private school was cheaper than state school, and this happened in the 90s, how in the hell did you manage to need to take out $70k in loans? COA of state schools in the 90s was $10k at most. What happened?!

9% interest loans …I did not take out 70k. I took out about 40. State was not cheaper….I had to pay room and board as well as tuition. You do not understand how financial aid works for people whose parents’ income does not allow eligibility for grants.

And adding to this….

Tuition at my institution in 96, 97, 98 was $16,630, $17,635, and $18,525.

Room and board was $10,000 ish.

My academic scholarship covered about 75% of tuition. That made it equal or less that a state school. I went to the nearby financial aid office and they told me point blank transferring was not cheaper and 1 year of credits would not transfer so I would pay more ultimately.

My parents EFC was 12k a year. That means I could only get a small part covered with Stafford loans no matter where I attended. I had to go to chase bank to take out private loans for 6 semesters at 9 percent. Interest accrued immediately while I was in college: it ballooned to about 70k in 1999.

I graduated a semester early finding a loophole to take 24 credits in one semester to save money. I was working 30 hours a week.

Eff off.

NP. You complain too much. You created your own financial issues.

No…I had an almost full scholarship elsewhere and they refused to let me go there. If they were going to do this, they should have let me go where it was cheaper or not go at all until I was older. I wanted to audition for dance companies first and do college later: I had to stop dancing in college to pay for it with working and could not perform or do a double major any more. The EFC is in every financial aid package in the US. The only way to avoid the expected family contribution is to be age 24, married or a veteran. Other kids have parents who don’t make much so the EFC is zero. And loans are low or none. I had to pay what my parents were expected to no matter the institution. Not my fault my parents made that income and the federal aid calculation assumes parents will pay the EFC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was like this. It was really annoying. They then refused to pay for college but I had to pick up their tab due to the expected family contribution and due to my dad's income, I could not get grants. My dad was not loaded but had enough that I was not grant eligible. I took out private loans at 9% and had 70k in debt from undergrad in 1999.

It really derailed my adult life. I did okay but I could have done better if I did not have that debt because I felt I could not consider professional school. It took all the joy out of my 20s...I worked 3 jobs until 33 to pay it off.

I felt my mom was lazy and had no excuse.

I will never every do that to my kids.

I work full time and have since they were born.

Wait.. YOU picked up THEIR tab? Entitled much?

Yes. I picked up their tab. It is called an expected family contribution. Everyone has this. If your parents make no money, their expectation is $0. My parents had a little so there was no grants for me. I could get some stafford loans but that did not cover the cost of education at even a public school. I went to a private school that was cheaper than public due to a scholarship. I still had the deficit is what the federal govt. says my parents should pay. I could not say they would not pay and redo my financial aid package. I tried. Every student has an EFC. Most kids do not have to go to the bank to take out private loans because their parents refuse to pay. I was not eligible for more aid. It was their tab, according to the government. If my parents were low-income, I could have gotten pell grants and other grants to cover the cost. You do not understand financial aid. The kicker was that I got into a different college that gave me more scholarship money and they refused to let me go there, and then they stopped paying. Transferring would not work because I did not take that scholarship because it had expired because I did not enroll as a freshman. Having to get a 9% loan to cover the cost of what the federal government said they would contribute and would not give me more aid was their tab. Ballooning to 70k in 1999 was unheard of. That is what happens with private loans. Get off my case. They insisted on college and screwed me.

I’m so sorry OP! You still sound angry. I wish you luck.

Of course I am angry. It changed the trajectory of my life and limited me from pursuing professional school (law or medicine). I had too much debt. I could not consider more. I had a $800 student loan payment at 21 with a BA. I barely speak to my parents now. I will never, ever do that to my kids (and the reason they cut me off...they are racist and found out about my boyfriend). This is not a forgivable thing. My kids are are on track to have college paid for.

Girl, it's not your parents fault you took out all that money. Tuition at University of Maryland was $3,500 per year in 1995. You could have gone to a community college for much less. Having $70k of student debt in the 90s from just undergrad is no one's fault but your own. Like, you'd specifically have to TRY to have that much debt. Grow up.

Yeah, I don't get this. If your private school was cheaper than state school, and this happened in the 90s, how in the hell did you manage to need to take out $70k in loans? COA of state schools in the 90s was $10k at most. What happened?!

9% interest loans …I did not take out 70k. I took out about 40. State was not cheaper….I had to pay room and board as well as tuition. You do not understand how financial aid works for people whose parents’ income does not allow eligibility for grants.

And adding to this….

Tuition at my institution in 96, 97, 98 was $16,630, $17,635, and $18,525.

Room and board was $10,000 ish.

My academic scholarship covered about 75% of tuition. That made it equal or less that a state school. I went to the nearby financial aid office and they told me point blank transferring was not cheaper and 1 year of credits would not transfer so I would pay more ultimately.

My parents EFC was 12k a year. That means I could only get a small part covered with Stafford loans no matter where I attended. I had to go to chase bank to take out private loans for 6 semesters at 9 percent. Interest accrued immediately while I was in college: it ballooned to about 70k in 1999.

I graduated a semester early finding a loophole to take 24 credits in one semester to save money. I was working 30 hours a week.

Eff off.

Name the school. I don't believe you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was like this. It was really annoying. They then refused to pay for college but I had to pick up their tab due to the expected family contribution and due to my dad's income, I could not get grants. My dad was not loaded but had enough that I was not grant eligible. I took out private loans at 9% and had 70k in debt from undergrad in 1999.

It really derailed my adult life. I did okay but I could have done better if I did not have that debt because I felt I could not consider professional school. It took all the joy out of my 20s...I worked 3 jobs until 33 to pay it off.

I felt my mom was lazy and had no excuse.

I will never every do that to my kids.

I work full time and have since they were born.

Wait.. YOU picked up THEIR tab? Entitled much?

Yes. I picked up their tab. It is called an expected family contribution. Everyone has this. If your parents make no money, their expectation is $0. My parents had a little so there was no grants for me. I could get some stafford loans but that did not cover the cost of education at even a public school. I went to a private school that was cheaper than public due to a scholarship. I still had the deficit is what the federal govt. says my parents should pay. I could not say they would not pay and redo my financial aid package. I tried. Every student has an EFC. Most kids do not have to go to the bank to take out private loans because their parents refuse to pay. I was not eligible for more aid. It was their tab, according to the government. If my parents were low-income, I could have gotten pell grants and other grants to cover the cost. You do not understand financial aid. The kicker was that I got into a different college that gave me more scholarship money and they refused to let me go there, and then they stopped paying. Transferring would not work because I did not take that scholarship because it had expired because I did not enroll as a freshman. Having to get a 9% loan to cover the cost of what the federal government said they would contribute and would not give me more aid was their tab. Ballooning to 70k in 1999 was unheard of. That is what happens with private loans. Get off my case. They insisted on college and screwed me.

I’m so sorry OP! You still sound angry. I wish you luck.

Of course I am angry. It changed the trajectory of my life and limited me from pursuing professional school (law or medicine). I had too much debt. I could not consider more. I had a $800 student loan payment at 21 with a BA. I barely speak to my parents now. I will never, ever do that to my kids (and the reason they cut me off...they are racist and found out about my boyfriend). This is not a forgivable thing. My kids are are on track to have college paid for.

Girl, it's not your parents fault you took out all that money. Tuition at University of Maryland was $3,500 per year in 1995. You could have gone to a community college for much less. Having $70k of student debt in the 90s from just undergrad is no one's fault but your own. Like, you'd specifically have to TRY to have that much debt. Grow up.

Yeah, I don't get this. If your private school was cheaper than state school, and this happened in the 90s, how in the hell did you manage to need to take out $70k in loans? COA of state schools in the 90s was $10k at most. What happened?!

9% interest loans …I did not take out 70k. I took out about 40. State was not cheaper….I had to pay room and board as well as tuition. You do not understand how financial aid works for people whose parents’ income does not allow eligibility for grants.

And adding to this….

Tuition at my institution in 96, 97, 98 was $16,630, $17,635, and $18,525.

Room and board was $10,000 ish.

My academic scholarship covered about 75% of tuition. That made it equal or less that a state school. I went to the nearby financial aid office and they told me point blank transferring was not cheaper and 1 year of credits would not transfer so I would pay more ultimately.

My parents EFC was 12k a year. That means I could only get a small part covered with Stafford loans no matter where I attended. I had to go to chase bank to take out private loans for 6 semesters at 9 percent. Interest accrued immediately while I was in college: it ballooned to about 70k in 1999.

I graduated a semester early finding a loophole to take 24 credits in one semester to save money. I was working 30 hours a week.

Eff off.

what state? There aren't many state universities *2022* where tuition is $16k, let alone in 1996..so....yea, no, you're lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was like this. It was really annoying. They then refused to pay for college but I had to pick up their tab due to the expected family contribution and due to my dad's income, I could not get grants. My dad was not loaded but had enough that I was not grant eligible. I took out private loans at 9% and had 70k in debt from undergrad in 1999.

It really derailed my adult life. I did okay but I could have done better if I did not have that debt because I felt I could not consider professional school. It took all the joy out of my 20s...I worked 3 jobs until 33 to pay it off.

I felt my mom was lazy and had no excuse.

I will never every do that to my kids.

I work full time and have since they were born.

Wait.. YOU picked up THEIR tab? Entitled much?

Yes. I picked up their tab. It is called an expected family contribution. Everyone has this. If your parents make no money, their expectation is $0. My parents had a little so there was no grants for me. I could get some stafford loans but that did not cover the cost of education at even a public school. I went to a private school that was cheaper than public due to a scholarship. I still had the deficit is what the federal govt. says my parents should pay. I could not say they would not pay and redo my financial aid package. I tried. Every student has an EFC. Most kids do not have to go to the bank to take out private loans because their parents refuse to pay. I was not eligible for more aid. It was their tab, according to the government. If my parents were low-income, I could have gotten pell grants and other grants to cover the cost. You do not understand financial aid. The kicker was that I got into a different college that gave me more scholarship money and they refused to let me go there, and then they stopped paying. Transferring would not work because I did not take that scholarship because it had expired because I did not enroll as a freshman. Having to get a 9% loan to cover the cost of what the federal government said they would contribute and would not give me more aid was their tab. Ballooning to 70k in 1999 was unheard of. That is what happens with private loans. Get off my case. They insisted on college and screwed me.

I’m so sorry OP! You still sound angry. I wish you luck.

Of course I am angry. It changed the trajectory of my life and limited me from pursuing professional school (law or medicine). I had too much debt. I could not consider more. I had a $800 student loan payment at 21 with a BA. I barely speak to my parents now. I will never, ever do that to my kids (and the reason they cut me off...they are racist and found out about my boyfriend). This is not a forgivable thing. My kids are are on track to have college paid for.

Girl, it's not your parents fault you took out all that money. Tuition at University of Maryland was $3,500 per year in 1995. You could have gone to a community college for much less. Having $70k of student debt in the 90s from just undergrad is no one's fault but your own. Like, you'd specifically have to TRY to have that much debt. Grow up.

Yeah, I don't get this. If your private school was cheaper than state school, and this happened in the 90s, how in the hell did you manage to need to take out $70k in loans? COA of state schools in the 90s was $10k at most. What happened?!

9% interest loans …I did not take out 70k. I took out about 40. State was not cheaper….I had to pay room and board as well as tuition. You do not understand how financial aid works for people whose parents’ income does not allow eligibility for grants.

And adding to this….

Tuition at my institution in 96, 97, 98 was $16,630, $17,635, and $18,525.

Room and board was $10,000 ish.

My academic scholarship covered about 75% of tuition. That made it equal or less that a state school. I went to the nearby financial aid office and they told me point blank transferring was not cheaper and 1 year of credits would not transfer so I would pay more ultimately.

My parents EFC was 12k a year. That means I could only get a small part covered with Stafford loans no matter where I attended. I had to go to chase bank to take out private loans for 6 semesters at 9 percent. Interest accrued immediately while I was in college: it ballooned to about 70k in 1999.

I graduated a semester early finding a loophole to take 24 credits in one semester to save money. I was working 30 hours a week.

Eff off.

NP. You complain too much. You created your own financial issues.

No…I had an almost full scholarship elsewhere and they refused to let me go there. If they were going to do this, they should have let me go where it was cheaper or not go at all until I was older. I wanted to audition for dance companies first and do college later: I had to stop dancing in college to pay for it with working and could not perform or do a double major any more. The EFC is in every financial aid package in the US. The only way to avoid the expected family contribution is to be age 24, married or a veteran. Other kids have parents who don’t make much so the EFC is zero. And loans are low or none. I had to pay what my parents were expected to no matter the institution. Not my fault my parents made that income and the federal aid calculation assumes parents will pay the EFC.

Whine whine whine. You were an adult. Your choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was like this. It was really annoying. They then refused to pay for college but I had to pick up their tab due to the expected family contribution and due to my dad's income, I could not get grants. My dad was not loaded but had enough that I was not grant eligible. I took out private loans at 9% and had 70k in debt from undergrad in 1999.

It really derailed my adult life. I did okay but I could have done better if I did not have that debt because I felt I could not consider professional school. It took all the joy out of my 20s...I worked 3 jobs until 33 to pay it off.

I felt my mom was lazy and had no excuse.

I will never every do that to my kids.

I work full time and have since they were born.

Wait.. YOU picked up THEIR tab? Entitled much?

Yes. I picked up their tab. It is called an expected family contribution. Everyone has this. If your parents make no money, their expectation is $0. My parents had a little so there was no grants for me. I could get some stafford loans but that did not cover the cost of education at even a public school. I went to a private school that was cheaper than public due to a scholarship. I still had the deficit is what the federal govt. says my parents should pay. I could not say they would not pay and redo my financial aid package. I tried. Every student has an EFC. Most kids do not have to go to the bank to take out private loans because their parents refuse to pay. I was not eligible for more aid. It was their tab, according to the government. If my parents were low-income, I could have gotten pell grants and other grants to cover the cost. You do not understand financial aid. The kicker was that I got into a different college that gave me more scholarship money and they refused to let me go there, and then they stopped paying. Transferring would not work because I did not take that scholarship because it had expired because I did not enroll as a freshman. Having to get a 9% loan to cover the cost of what the federal government said they would contribute and would not give me more aid was their tab. Ballooning to 70k in 1999 was unheard of. That is what happens with private loans. Get off my case. They insisted on college and screwed me.

I’m so sorry OP! You still sound angry. I wish you luck.

Of course I am angry. It changed the trajectory of my life and limited me from pursuing professional school (law or medicine). I had too much debt. I could not consider more. I had a $800 student loan payment at 21 with a BA. I barely speak to my parents now. I will never, ever do that to my kids (and the reason they cut me off...they are racist and found out about my boyfriend). This is not a forgivable thing. My kids are are on track to have college paid for.

Girl, it's not your parents fault you took out all that money. Tuition at University of Maryland was $3,500 per year in 1995. You could have gone to a community college for much less. Having $70k of student debt in the 90s from just undergrad is no one's fault but your own. Like, you'd specifically have to TRY to have that much debt. Grow up.

Yeah, I don't get this. If your private school was cheaper than state school, and this happened in the 90s, how in the hell did you manage to need to take out $70k in loans? COA of state schools in the 90s was $10k at most. What happened?!

9% interest loans …I did not take out 70k. I took out about 40. State was not cheaper….I had to pay room and board as well as tuition. You do not understand how financial aid works for people whose parents’ income does not allow eligibility for grants.

And adding to this….

Tuition at my institution in 96, 97, 98 was $16,630, $17,635, and $18,525.

Room and board was $10,000 ish.

My academic scholarship covered about 75% of tuition. That made it equal or less that a state school. I went to the nearby financial aid office and they told me point blank transferring was not cheaper and 1 year of credits would not transfer so I would pay more ultimately.

My parents EFC was 12k a year. That means I could only get a small part covered with Stafford loans no matter where I attended. I had to go to chase bank to take out private loans for 6 semesters at 9 percent. Interest accrued immediately while I was in college: it ballooned to about 70k in 1999.

I graduated a semester early finding a loophole to take 24 credits in one semester to save money. I was working 30 hours a week.

Eff off.

what state? There aren't many state universities *2022* where tuition is $16k, let alone in 1996..so....yea, no, you're lying.

the average state school tuition cost $3k in 1996 but nooooo our special girl had to go to a school that cost $16k!

[Anonymous]

"Right now, I like being able to do all my home tasks while the kids are at school so we can all just chill on the weekends, and I like spending after-school time with my kids since they are going to be gone so soon. At this point I'm not going to get a job that wouldn't let me do those things so they can go to a more expensive school. That is just my choice."

But you said you don't even have enough saved for the public school. You can't even cover that, so why are you distracting us with a discussion about whether kids should attend a more expensive school?

I would bet you that if you asked your kids their senior year whether they would rather you had worked and saved enough for them to attend UMD or UVA instead of "chilling on the weekends" or have after-school time together, they'd say they wish they had the college funds. Instead, they'll be hoofing it to Montgomery College for at least two years so that you could get your home tasks done when they were at school. Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

"Yes. I picked up their tab. It is called an expected family contribution. Everyone has this. If your parents make no money, their expectation is $0. My parents had a little so there was no grants for me. I could get some stafford loans but that did not cover the cost of education at even a public school. I went to a private school that was cheaper than public due to a scholarship. I still had the deficit is what the federal govt. says my parents should pay. I could not say they would not pay and redo my financial aid package. I tried. Every student has an EFC. Most kids do not have to go to the bank to take out private loans because their parents refuse to pay. I was not eligible for more aid. It was their tab, according to the government. If my parents were low-income, I could have gotten pell grants and other grants to cover the cost. You do not understand financial aid. The kicker was that I got into a different college that gave me more scholarship money and they refused to let me go there, and then they stopped paying. Transferring would not work because I did not take that scholarship because it had expired because I did not enroll as a freshman. Having to get a 9% loan to cover the cost of what the federal government said they would contribute and would not give me more aid was their tab. Ballooning to 70k in 1999 was unheard of. That is what happens with private loans. Get off my case. They insisted on college and screwed me."

Only clueless idiots would question this. It really pisses me off that so many UMC families screw their kids this way. I hate it when I've seen my friends doing it to their kids and it's made me distance myself from them because I find it to be so selfish and cruel. And yes, these are families with well educated moms who stay at home instead of doing their part over the years to sock away money for college. Their homes don't run any better than mine. In fact, mine is better organized and runs more smoothly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's ok. There's always an alternative way. The thing is the kids need to realize the parents are not always going to be able to financially give you the money you need to do anything. I learned that early when I had to go to college. Notice I said I HAD to go to college. There is no other choice or I would end up to be in the same low income category as my parents. Then, again my parents were refugees so I know how much they sacrifice for us to be here.

I put myself through college since I came from a low income family. It was all about the grants they gave me each semester. There are plenty of money out there. You just have to know where to apply and ask for money. Nowadays, you can research online. In the 80s, I would go to a library and look through books in the reference section to look for organizations that give money for those who can't afford to go to college. I would work part time through out the year to earn a bit of money...really that only covered those expensive text books. In the summer, I would work full time and again save the little money I earned. I ate bologna sandwich often. I took the public bus. I learned to navigate the bus schedules in the rain, snow and 100 degree weather.

So, it is doable.

So, my parents were also refugees and I put myself through school, graduated in 1995. The difference, though, is that income based grants (Pell + my state's) + work study + part time job cleaning houses + foodstamps + being extremely frugal was enough to cover my expenses if I lived at home. These days the instate tuition is $20K at UPitt. The grants did not keep up with that increase. It's a different landscape now.