MIL getting up when baby cried: what would you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

This. Maybe she wanted to help. She can't nurse but some things my mom did for me during those frequent newborn wakings was rock the baby back to sleep or sit up with me and chat or watch TV so I could have some company and DH could get some sleep.

...DH did go back to sleep. While OP breastfed. Sounds like OP didn't want or need "company" during breastfeeding, as evidenced by her saying for several nights in a row that she didn't want help.

Why are you speaking for OP?

I'm going with the facts. You're writing fiction that what really would have been helpful is...watching TV? Why are you writing fiction?

The facts are DIL and son were thundering around the in-laws house in the middle of the night with a screaming baby and woke everyone up. Sounds like a shitty situation for all, no?

“Thundering?” Are you extremely obese or something? When I quietly walk down a hallway in the middle of the night, I don’t “thunder.” I guess you do…

Are you obese? If they woke the MIL up they weren't being quiet. How else do you explain it?

Um, the sound of a baby crying? In a small house? That seems more likely than the sound of someone walking to the bathroom being the impetus for waking MIL up.

So I take it you’re obese AND lack critical thinking skills.

DP, I am small but I walk hard, someone walking around could wake someone. But no big deal.
MIL May ge a light sleeper and DIL is easily irritated, but it’s all family so they can get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand what a crisis it is to OP that MIL was in the hall, and inquiring if they needed help. Maybe she is trying to keep FIL from being woken up as well? Maybe she was also waiting to use the restroom? Maybe as she was up, she was going to get a tea or something? Maybe she couldn’t go back to sleep and was walking around her home? Why does it have to be awful and meddling, can’t it just be that she is up as well? It doesn’t sound like she complained, she just checked in. This was prowling and being annoying, apparently. MILs can’t do anything right.. next post will be “MIL never helps!”

Yea I do not get it. It’s her house, she kept asking to help, you keep saying no.
It was your being rude that pushed her off, not being awakened. What part of that do you not understand?
You can have them visit in your basement guest suite but if you Continue to be rude you’ll get the same response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

You sound like an idiot. The baby is nursing, the MIL didn’t need to help, she was being annoying af.
I’m sorry OP you were absolutely right and I wouldn’t go back, and I wouldn’t ever left her babysit because trust me she is going to do what she wants to do regardless of your instructions.

What an asinine overreaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh, it does sound mildly irritating, but I would not have made a major issue of it, especially when I was a guest in someone else's home. This is the type of thing you snark to your friends about later rather than having a reaction to at the time.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her house, she can be concerned. Weird to offer her a white noise machine and its not going to drown out the crying. Let her nurture baby.

It’s not her baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand what a crisis it is to OP that MIL was in the hall, and inquiring if they needed help. Maybe she is trying to keep FIL from being woken up as well? Maybe she was also waiting to use the restroom? Maybe as she was up, she was going to get a tea or something? Maybe she couldn’t go back to sleep and was walking around her home? Why does it have to be awful and meddling, can’t it just be that she is up as well? It doesn’t sound like she complained, she just checked in. This was prowling and being annoying, apparently. MILs can’t do anything right.. next post will be “MIL never helps!”

Yea I do not get it. It’s her house, she kept asking to help, you keep saying no.
It was your being rude that pushed her off, not being awakened. What part of that do you not understand?
You can have them visit in your basement guest suite but if you Continue to be rude you’ll get the same response.

MIL was rude for not getting a clue after several days.

[Anonymous]

I would gently ask her if she’s having memory problems, or have DH do so. It honestly is concerning if she can’t remember from one day to the next that she was asked not to get involved at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much drama. Why didn’t you just keep your door closed and not go out in the hallway? You could have waited to use the bathroom once the baby was settled and everyone was back in bed.

Yeah, why did you continue to go out into the hall each night knowing you would meet her there and have to deal with her?

[Anonymous]

Middle of the night insomnia is common will for us over 60. If you get woken up, it’s done for a few hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much drama. Why didn’t you just keep your door closed and not go out in the hallway? You could have waited to use the bathroom once the baby was settled and everyone was back in bed.

Yeah, why did you continue to go out into the hall each night knowing you would meet her there and have to deal with her?

Do you think maybe because OP had to pee and didn’t want to be sitting there uncomfortable, needing to pee for 15 minutes while breastfeeding? -np

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother always woke up and prowled around when we were similarly situated, but she WANTED TO, and never gave us grief for it. What exactly is yours pissed about? The wake-ups or that you seemed annoyed at her presence?

+1 It is HER house. She has a right to walk around in it. OP, you and your husband were the intruders and you don't seem to understand that. OP, you need to learn some manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother always woke up and prowled around when we were similarly situated, but she WANTED TO, and never gave us grief for it. What exactly is yours pissed about? The wake-ups or that you seemed annoyed at her presence?

+1 It is HER house. She has a right to walk around in it. OP, you and your husband were the intruders and you don't seem to understand that. OP, you need to learn some manners.

Seems like the problem has already been solved: OP has already stated they will be staying in a hotel when visiting them until the baby is solidly STTN. If guests in my home told me repeatedly to please leave them to it during baby wake-ups (after I invited them to visit and insisted they not stay in a hotel, by the way), I’d listen to them, respect them, and would stay out of their way.

[Anonymous]

This is not a big deal. You two were creating more communication than needed with BOTH of you getting up and walking the halls and using the bathroom while baby cries. This is a one parent thing to handle. While annoying, when you told her you don’t need help she went back to her room, right? Just move on. Hotel next time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much drama. Why didn’t you just keep your door closed and not go out in the hallway? You could have waited to use the bathroom once the baby was settled and everyone was back in bed.

Yeah, why did you continue to go out into the hall each night knowing you would meet her there and have to deal with her?

Do you think maybe because OP had to pee and didn’t want to be sitting there uncomfortable, needing to pee for 15 minutes while breastfeeding? -np

They both need to use the bathroom every time the baby wakes up? Weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a big deal. You two were creating more communication than needed with BOTH of you getting up and walking the halls and using the bathroom while baby cries. This is a one parent thing to handle. While annoying, when you told her you don’t need help she went back to her room, right? Just move on. Hotel next time

If I wake up in the middle of the night—whether it is because of a baby crying or a car alarm or my FIL rattling around in the kitchen straining turkey stock (a real thing that has happened to me at 4 a.m.)—I need to pee. So OP and DH probably needed to pee. Makes sense that OP would pee first, get back to the room to breastfeed, and then DH would pee.

I didn’t get the sense that they were both “walking the halls while baby cried.” OP peed while DH picked up baby and shushed/changed, then OP popped a boob in baby’s mouth while DH went to pee.

-np