MIL getting up when baby cried: what would you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh you sound just like my former DIL. We took them on a trip with 6 month old grand baby and what a nightmare! I sleep with door closed, white noise but nothing could drown out the baby crying for not 4 mts but a good hour or more. The two of them would sleep right thru it. I’d end up bringing the baby in bed with me so I could get some sleep. They would put the baby down for the night at 7 and expect her to sleep till their lazy butts got up at 8 in the morning. My DH was livid because I was sleep deprived and upset. He then strategically made sure we all stayed out late each night to ensure grand baby couldn’t be put down too early. It worked beautifully.
I doubt your baby cried for just 4 mts btw. I was 50 at the time.

Some parents choose to sleep train their babies. But this is why traveling with infants is just hard at best and a bad idea at worse. I'm so grateful for my family's patience.

“Sleep train” your baby on your time. Not when you will be disrupting others on a trip. It’s called courtesy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh you sound just like my former DIL. We took them on a trip with 6 month old grand baby and what a nightmare! I sleep with door closed, white noise but nothing could drown out the baby crying for not 4 mts but a good hour or more. The two of them would sleep right thru it. I’d end up bringing the baby in bed with me so I could get some sleep. They would put the baby down for the night at 7 and expect her to sleep till their lazy butts got up at 8 in the morning. My DH was livid because I was sleep deprived and upset. He then strategically made sure we all stayed out late each night to ensure grand baby couldn’t be put down too early. It worked beautifully.
I doubt your baby cried for just 4 mts btw. I was 50 at the time.

Some parents choose to sleep train their babies. But this is why traveling with infants is just hard at best and a bad idea at worse. I'm so grateful for my family's patience.

Lesson learned. Separate Airbnb’s at least a mile apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh you sound just like my former DIL. We took them on a trip with 6 month old grand baby and what a nightmare! I sleep with door closed, white noise but nothing could drown out the baby crying for not 4 mts but a good hour or more. The two of them would sleep right thru it. I’d end up bringing the baby in bed with me so I could get some sleep. They would put the baby down for the night at 7 and expect her to sleep till their lazy butts got up at 8 in the morning. My DH was livid because I was sleep deprived and upset. He then strategically made sure we all stayed out late each night to ensure grand baby couldn’t be put down too early. It worked beautifully.
I doubt your baby cried for just 4 mts btw. I was 50 at the time.

Gosh who taught those parents such egregious manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh you sound just like my former DIL. We took them on a trip with 6 month old grand baby and what a nightmare! I sleep with door closed, white noise but nothing could drown out the baby crying for not 4 mts but a good hour or more. The two of them would sleep right thru it. I’d end up bringing the baby in bed with me so I could get some sleep. They would put the baby down for the night at 7 and expect her to sleep till their lazy butts got up at 8 in the morning. My DH was livid because I was sleep deprived and upset. He then strategically made sure we all stayed out late each night to ensure grand baby couldn’t be put down too early. It worked beautifully.
I doubt your baby cried for just 4 mts btw. I was 50 at the time.

Some parents choose to sleep train their babies. But this is why traveling with infants is just hard at best and a bad idea at worse. I'm so grateful for my family's patience.

“Sleep train” your baby on your time. Not when you will be disrupting others on a trip. It’s called courtesy.

Uhhh. Talk to the son you raised about courtesy…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh you sound just like my former DIL. We took them on a trip with 6 month old grand baby and what a nightmare! I sleep with door closed, white noise but nothing could drown out the baby crying for not 4 mts but a good hour or more. The two of them would sleep right thru it. I’d end up bringing the baby in bed with me so I could get some sleep. They would put the baby down for the night at 7 and expect her to sleep till their lazy butts got up at 8 in the morning. My DH was livid because I was sleep deprived and upset. He then strategically made sure we all stayed out late each night to ensure grand baby couldn’t be put down too early. It worked beautifully.
I doubt your baby cried for just 4 mts btw. I was 50 at the time.

It’s so telling that your blame your DIL for this but not your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As new parents who are trying to establish a STTN routine, I get why OP was flustered (especially in the middle of the night). But it sounds like MIL was just trying to help. I would have just let her do the diaper change and make her feel useful/involved. It may have saved a lot of hassle in the end.

Isn't that what people pay night nannies to do? I would have loved to be able to nurse the baby then hand it off to someone and go back to sleep. That someone was often my husband if the baby was extra fussy, but I'm sure he would agree that handing a fussy baby to his mom so he could also go back to sleep also, would have been great.

Why would you not just start the diaper change immediately? Why wait for Grandma to also wake up and come down the hallway. Like, make the baby wait longer for the boob so that she can feel helpful? Baby is wet and/or poopy and wants to be fed. Let's not delay that just so grandma can feel useful. That's what daytime is for!

I'm not talking about diaper changes, I'm saying I would have loved a Grandma/Night Nanny to deal with the rocking, soothing and possibly diaper changes as needed after I was done nursing. Night nannies do all of that, it's not a new concept, and people will pay dearly for it. This isn't specifically about OPs hangups regarding her MIL not respecting her authoritay.

It wasn't like grandma was offering to help she was just getting up to hover at the situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh you sound just like my former DIL. We took them on a trip with 6 month old grand baby and what a nightmare! I sleep with door closed, white noise but nothing could drown out the baby crying for not 4 mts but a good hour or more. The two of them would sleep right thru it. I’d end up bringing the baby in bed with me so I could get some sleep. They would put the baby down for the night at 7 and expect her to sleep till their lazy butts got up at 8 in the morning. My DH was livid because I was sleep deprived and upset. He then strategically made sure we all stayed out late each night to ensure grand baby couldn’t be put down too early. It worked beautifully.
I doubt your baby cried for just 4 mts btw. I was 50 at the time.

Some parents choose to sleep train their babies. But this is why traveling with infants is just hard at best and a bad idea at worse. I'm so grateful for my family's patience.

“Sleep train” your baby on your time. Not when you will be disrupting others on a trip. It’s called courtesy.

Assuming you may not fully understand sleep training. Despite the promise that it takes three days of cry it out or whatever some babies are very difficult. A very good friend and I both had kids that we had to sleep train out of desperation. We did NOT want to do it but they were not sleeping at all. And it took months.

oP I know you're not coming back but I am SO confused about her referencing her mom and MiL and saying they are usually helpful, in contrast to her DH's mother. Does she have 2 Mil? Is she referring to a sibling's spouse's mother as a MiL?

I also laughed at the accusations of MiL having a "tiny house" because the bathroom wasn't en suite or bc they could hear baby cry? Yes that's how the world mostly lives
Pretty obvious some of y'all have lived in suburban sprawl always.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh you sound just like my former DIL. We took them on a trip with 6 month old grand baby and what a nightmare! I sleep with door closed, white noise but nothing could drown out the baby crying for not 4 mts but a good hour or more. The two of them would sleep right thru it. I’d end up bringing the baby in bed with me so I could get some sleep. They would put the baby down for the night at 7 and expect her to sleep till their lazy butts got up at 8 in the morning. My DH was livid because I was sleep deprived and upset. He then strategically made sure we all stayed out late each night to ensure grand baby couldn’t be put down too early. It worked beautifully.
I doubt your baby cried for just 4 mts btw. I was 50 at the time.

Some parents choose to sleep train their babies. But this is why traveling with infants is just hard at best and a bad idea at worse. I'm so grateful for my family's patience.

“Sleep train” your baby on your time. Not when you will be disrupting others on a trip. It’s called courtesy.

Assuming you may not fully understand sleep training. Despite the promise that it takes three days of cry it out or whatever some babies are very difficult. A very good friend and I both had kids that we had to sleep train out of desperation. We did NOT want to do it but they were not sleeping at all. And it took months.

oP I know you're not coming back but I am SO confused about her referencing her mom and MiL and saying they are usually helpful, in contrast to her DH's mother. Does she have 2 Mil? Is she referring to a sibling's spouse's mother as a MiL?

I also laughed at the accusations of MiL having a "tiny house" because the bathroom wasn't en suite or bc they could hear baby cry? Yes that's how the world mostly lives
Pretty obvious some of y'all have lived in suburban sprawl always.

So OP isn’t poor. So what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh you sound just like my former DIL. We took them on a trip with 6 month old grand baby and what a nightmare! I sleep with door closed, white noise but nothing could drown out the baby crying for not 4 mts but a good hour or more. The two of them would sleep right thru it. I’d end up bringing the baby in bed with me so I could get some sleep. They would put the baby down for the night at 7 and expect her to sleep till their lazy butts got up at 8 in the morning. My DH was livid because I was sleep deprived and upset. He then strategically made sure we all stayed out late each night to ensure grand baby couldn’t be put down too early. It worked beautifully.
I doubt your baby cried for just 4 mts btw. I was 50 at the time.

Some parents choose to sleep train their babies. But this is why traveling with infants is just hard at best and a bad idea at worse. I'm so grateful for my family's patience.

“Sleep train” your baby on your time. Not when you will be disrupting others on a trip. It’s called courtesy.

Assuming you may not fully understand sleep training. Despite the promise that it takes three days of cry it out or whatever some babies are very difficult. A very good friend and I both had kids that we had to sleep train out of desperation. We did NOT want to do it but they were not sleeping at all. And it took months.

oP I know you're not coming back but I am SO confused about her referencing her mom and MiL and saying they are usually helpful, in contrast to her DH's mother. Does she have 2 Mil? Is she referring to a sibling's spouse's mother as a MiL?

I also laughed at the accusations of MiL having a "tiny house" because the bathroom wasn't en suite or bc they could hear baby cry? Yes that's how the world mostly lives
Pretty obvious some of y'all have lived in suburban sprawl always.

So OP isn’t poor. So what?

Genuine question. Do you think someone is poor if they live in a house with no en suite bathroom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh you sound just like my former DIL. We took them on a trip with 6 month old grand baby and what a nightmare! I sleep with door closed, white noise but nothing could drown out the baby crying for not 4 mts but a good hour or more. The two of them would sleep right thru it. I’d end up bringing the baby in bed with me so I could get some sleep. They would put the baby down for the night at 7 and expect her to sleep till their lazy butts got up at 8 in the morning. My DH was livid because I was sleep deprived and upset. He then strategically made sure we all stayed out late each night to ensure grand baby couldn’t be put down too early. It worked beautifully.
I doubt your baby cried for just 4 mts btw. I was 50 at the time.

Some parents choose to sleep train their babies. But this is why traveling with infants is just hard at best and a bad idea at worse. I'm so grateful for my family's patience.

“Sleep train” your baby on your time. Not when you will be disrupting others on a trip. It’s called courtesy.

Assuming you may not fully understand sleep training. Despite the promise that it takes three days of cry it out or whatever some babies are very difficult. A very good friend and I both had kids that we had to sleep train out of desperation. We did NOT want to do it but they were not sleeping at all. And it took months.

oP I know you're not coming back but I am SO confused about her referencing her mom and MiL and saying they are usually helpful, in contrast to her DH's mother. Does she have 2 Mil? Is she referring to a sibling's spouse's mother as a MiL?

I also laughed at the accusations of MiL having a "tiny house" because the bathroom wasn't en suite or bc they could hear baby cry? Yes that's how the world mostly lives
Pretty obvious some of y'all have lived in suburban sprawl always.

So OP isn’t poor. So what?

Genuine question. Do you think someone is poor if they live in a house with no en suite bathroom?

NP. It sounds like it’s one bathroom for the main level of the house—maybe the only bathroom in the house? I don’t think OP was complaining that the guest room/secondary bedroom didn’t have an en-suite bathroom.

I don’t think that means people are “poor,” but if there’s only one full bath in the entire house, I don’t think it’s beyond to call the house “tiny.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh you sound just like my former DIL. We took them on a trip with 6 month old grand baby and what a nightmare! I sleep with door closed, white noise but nothing could drown out the baby crying for not 4 mts but a good hour or more. The two of them would sleep right thru it. I’d end up bringing the baby in bed with me so I could get some sleep. They would put the baby down for the night at 7 and expect her to sleep till their lazy butts got up at 8 in the morning. My DH was livid because I was sleep deprived and upset. He then strategically made sure we all stayed out late each night to ensure grand baby couldn’t be put down too early. It worked beautifully.
I doubt your baby cried for just 4 mts btw. I was 50 at the time.

Some parents choose to sleep train their babies. But this is why traveling with infants is just hard at best and a bad idea at worse. I'm so grateful for my family's patience.

PP here. Sleep train? That’s absolutely bs in this situation. The two dopes were putting her down way too early and that’s why she would start crying at 5am! When my DH strategically kept us out late and she was put to bed at 9 or 10pm she slept perfectly till 7am. It’s just common sense and courtesy that millennials lack. Fyi it’s my DHs son. If it were my son I would’ve taken him aside and told him if they insist on putting the baby down at 7pm and ignore her wailing at 5, they need to move to a hotel!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh you sound just like my former DIL. We took them on a trip with 6 month old grand baby and what a nightmare! I sleep with door closed, white noise but nothing could drown out the baby crying for not 4 mts but a good hour or more. The two of them would sleep right thru it. I’d end up bringing the baby in bed with me so I could get some sleep. They would put the baby down for the night at 7 and expect her to sleep till their lazy butts got up at 8 in the morning. My DH was livid because I was sleep deprived and upset. He then strategically made sure we all stayed out late each night to ensure grand baby couldn’t be put down too early. It worked beautifully.
I doubt your baby cried for just 4 mts btw. I was 50 at the time.

It’s so telling that your blame your DIL for this but not your son.

Obviously everything that’s objectionable in her son’s household is her DIL’s fault. Her baby boy is perfection and he’s the real victim to the decisions of that witch he married.

OBVIOUSLY!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh you sound just like my former DIL. We took them on a trip with 6 month old grand baby and what a nightmare! I sleep with door closed, white noise but nothing could drown out the baby crying for not 4 mts but a good hour or more. The two of them would sleep right thru it. I’d end up bringing the baby in bed with me so I could get some sleep. They would put the baby down for the night at 7 and expect her to sleep till their lazy butts got up at 8 in the morning. My DH was livid because I was sleep deprived and upset. He then strategically made sure we all stayed out late each night to ensure grand baby couldn’t be put down too early. It worked beautifully.
I doubt your baby cried for just 4 mts btw. I was 50 at the time.

Some parents choose to sleep train their babies. But this is why traveling with infants is just hard at best and a bad idea at worse. I'm so grateful for my family's patience.

PP here. Sleep train? That’s absolutely bs in this situation. The two dopes were putting her down way too early and that’s why she would start crying at 5am! When my DH strategically kept us out late and she was put to bed at 9 or 10pm she slept perfectly till 7am. It’s just common sense and courtesy that millennials lack. Fyi it’s my DHs son. If it were my son I would’ve taken him aside and told him if they insist on putting the baby down at 7pm and ignore her wailing at 5, they need to move to a hotel!

I’ve never been more grateful for my MIL then after reading this post. PP, you are a nasty woman. Your tone in speaking about your son and DIL is disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh you sound just like my former DIL. We took them on a trip with 6 month old grand baby and what a nightmare! I sleep with door closed, white noise but nothing could drown out the baby crying for not 4 mts but a good hour or more. The two of them would sleep right thru it. I’d end up bringing the baby in bed with me so I could get some sleep. They would put the baby down for the night at 7 and expect her to sleep till their lazy butts got up at 8 in the morning. My DH was livid because I was sleep deprived and upset. He then strategically made sure we all stayed out late each night to ensure grand baby couldn’t be put down too early. It worked beautifully.
I doubt your baby cried for just 4 mts btw. I was 50 at the time.

Some parents choose to sleep train their babies. But this is why traveling with infants is just hard at best and a bad idea at worse. I'm so grateful for my family's patience.

PP here. Sleep train? That’s absolutely bs in this situation. The two dopes were putting her down way too early and that’s why she would start crying at 5am! When my DH strategically kept us out late and she was put to bed at 9 or 10pm she slept perfectly till 7am. It’s just common sense and courtesy that millennials lack. Fyi it’s my DHs son. If it were my son I would’ve taken him aside and told him if they insist on putting the baby down at 7pm and ignore her wailing at 5, they need to move to a hotel!

I’ve never been more grateful for my MIL then after reading this post. PP, you are a nasty woman. Your tone in speaking about your son and DIL is disgusting.

Did you catch that PP is the step-mom? She's not talking about her son.