Kids who dominate adult conversations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the signs of a gifted child is the desire and ability to talk about mature topics with adults. OP don’t be envious because your child isn’t gifted, most people are not. What’s the saying....”It’s lonely at the top” and this applies to many of these kids who desire adult conversation. They are at least highly intelligent, so chances are their peers are unable to relate to them on many levels. We are so quick to judge and label kids, heck even adults, who don’t fit the mold. We shouldn’t stifle and discourage these types of precocious creative children, at least they have personalities unlike so many people these days. Kids like this have potential. Everyone wants to believe that their own child is intelligent, but it’s extremely frustrating when your child truly is gifted and a little quirky and constantly gets rejected by peers and adults alike. No, it’s really not a lack of social skills, it’s because the gifted chid doesn’t fit into the little box that you want them to fit into.

It is a lack of social skills on the parents part not to tell their child to move to another area and let adults talk to each other without having kids interrupt the conversation. Why do you think your child should be allowed to monopolize adult conversations? The OP isn't envious of anyone kid, she doesn't want all her time that she has to talk to adults taken by a kid who won't leave the immediate area where adults are trying to talk about adult subjects. OP isn't talking about a kid who briefly goes over to the adults and spends five or even ten minutes talking. She is talking about the entitled kid who stays by the adults the whole time the adults are gathered which can be two or three hours.

Our group had a parent who thought her child deserved to be in all the adult conversations with equal footing and thought it was so wonderful her child loved to express her opinion. She thought nothing of having her nine year old hang around the adults when we really wanted to discuss topics that included sex, drinking, financial issues, adult humor, complaints, etc. We stopped inviting this family to our group gatherings. We are back to having adult conversations.

Certainly not. It is proof of social skills in the parent that they realize that their child will need experience, just like any other skill, to develop social skills, and one's conversational and social abilities grow with use.

but there are many social outcast types on this board, who may not know this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being gifted is no excuse for being impolite.

Teach your kids to behave in a way that makes them pleasant to be around. More helpful in life than a high SAT

Engaging in conversation is the opposite of being impolite. And kids who engage in conversations with adults with develop high level social skills much faster

Inserting yourself where you are not welcome is being impolite. They can engage in conversations where they are wanted, but should be able to interpret social cues to move away when they aren't.

There is no reason why a child should feel unwelcome in a situation with their parent and a family friend. And if you make your kids feel that way, then YOU are a bad parent. Hope you're creating a therapy fund for the kid to use one day

Your kid is going to struggle when they can't pick up cues from other people who want to be left alone and have a private conversation. It is a very basic social skill and I'm sorry your kids won't have it. You are making your kids life more difficult.

[Anonymous]

Not everyone is welcome in every conversation all the time. The earlier your kids pick this up, the more likely they are to succeed in life. A little humility is a good thing, as is the ability to pick up social cues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being gifted is no excuse for being impolite.

Teach your kids to behave in a way that makes them pleasant to be around. More helpful in life than a high SAT

Engaging in conversation is the opposite of being impolite. And kids who engage in conversations with adults with develop high level social skills much faster

Inserting yourself where you are not welcome is being impolite. They can engage in conversations where they are wanted, but should be able to interpret social cues to move away when they aren't.

There is no reason why a child should feel unwelcome in a situation with their parent and a family friend. And if you make your kids feel that way, then YOU are a bad parent. Hope you're creating a therapy fund for the kid to use one day

Your kid is going to struggle when they can't pick up cues from other people who want to be left alone and have a private conversation. It is a very basic social skill and I'm sorry your kids won't have it. You are making your kids life more difficult.

And your kid is going to struggle when they dont have the same vernacular and vocabulary and conversation ability as kids who were enabled and empowered by their parents to speak with adults from a young age. It is an upper level social skill and you are doing them a great disservice. If you intend for them to achieve much in life, you are doing them a great disservice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone is welcome in every conversation all the time. The earlier your kids pick this up, the more likely they are to succeed in life. A little humility is a good thing, as is the ability to pick up social cues.

And not everyone is a skilled conversationalist or intelligent speaker. The more you let your kids practice these skills, the better they will get. Conversations with adults (with mom there) is great practice. And very valuable to life for high earners and intelligent types.

[Anonymous]

My kids happen to be excellent conversationalists. Even better, they know when to speak, when to be quiet, and how to assert themselves without dominating a conversation.
In other words, the skills they need to get good feedback from other people.

The are plenty of opportunities to speak when they are wanted. But the #1 skill in life is knowing when you are wanted and when you aren't. The world doesn't revolve around your "genius" kid and it never will.

Geniuses are a dime a dozen. Geniuses with good social skills are extremely successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids happen to be excellent conversationalists. Even better, they know when to speak, when to be quiet, and how to assert themselves without dominating a conversation.
In other words, the skills they need to get good feedback from other people.

The are plenty of opportunities to speak when they are wanted. But the #1 skill in life is knowing when you are wanted and when you aren't. The world doesn't revolve around your "genius" kid and it never will.

Geniuses are a dime a dozen. Geniuses with good social skills are extremely successful.

Maybe they are "excellent conversationalists" now, with their schoolgroup. That's a far cry from being excellent conversationalists at, say, a state dinner, or at an elite college, or at a formal dinner with VIPs. If you want to prepare your kid to truly feel comfortable in every social situation, conversing with adults is a great way to do it.

And hey, it's important to remember that kids develop at different rates. Certain kids are happy to play with play-doh and play tag until they're 14. Certain kids can be having conversations about civil war history at 6. Some kids can do both. But there is no need to try to stifle a child's development, and, if you do- you might admit that parenting is not your forte.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids happen to be excellent conversationalists. Even better, they know when to speak, when to be quiet, and how to assert themselves without dominating a conversation.
In other words, the skills they need to get good feedback from other people.

The are plenty of opportunities to speak when they are wanted. But the #1 skill in life is knowing when you are wanted and when you aren't. The world doesn't revolve around your "genius" kid and it never will.

Geniuses are a dime a dozen. Geniuses with good social skills are extremely successful.

This right here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So annoying. Could not really have a conversation with a mom the other day. Child was like a little nosy adult, interrupting, intruding, etc.

Careful now pp, your anxiety is showing. You shouldn't be jealous of an intelligent child.

+1
Or threatened by one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So annoying. Could not really have a conversation with a mom the other day. Child was like a little nosy adult, interrupting, intruding, etc.

Careful now pp, your anxiety is showing. You shouldn't be jealous of an intelligent child.

+1
Or threatened by one

No matter how much you want it to be, your child isn’t THAT intelligent. They’re just annoying. There’s a reason it’s called ADULT conversation.

You want to have “intellectual” one on ones with your kid at home, all day long, have at it. The rest of us aren’t interested. Only you find your kid charming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So annoying. Could not really have a conversation with a mom the other day. Child was like a little nosy adult, interrupting, intruding, etc.

Careful now pp, your anxiety is showing. You shouldn't be jealous of an intelligent child.

+1
Or threatened by one

No matter how much you want it to be, your child isn’t THAT intelligent. They’re just annoying. There’s a reason it’s called ADULT conversation.

You want to have “intellectual” one on ones with your kid at home, all day long, have at it. The rest of us aren’t interested. Only you find your kid charming.

I dont have a child. How about this: YOU are not that intelligent. You're just annoying. You are self centered and childish. And no one is interested in your dislike of children other than yourself. See a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So annoying. Could not really have a conversation with a mom the other day. Child was like a little nosy adult, interrupting, intruding, etc.

Careful now pp, your anxiety is showing. You shouldn't be jealous of an intelligent child.

+1
Or threatened by one

No matter how much you want it to be, your child isn’t THAT intelligent. They’re just annoying. There’s a reason it’s called ADULT conversation.

You want to have “intellectual” one on ones with your kid at home, all day long, have at it. The rest of us aren’t interested. Only you find your kid charming.

I dont have a child. How about this: YOU are not that intelligent. You're just annoying. You are self centered and childish. And no one is interested in your dislike of children other than yourself. See a therapist.

I love kids! I have 2. I just can’t stand the parents who let their kids dominate everything. Can’t you see the difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So annoying. Could not really have a conversation with a mom the other day. Child was like a little nosy adult, interrupting, intruding, etc.

Careful now pp, your anxiety is showing. You shouldn't be jealous of an intelligent child.

+1
Or threatened by one

No matter how much you want it to be, your child isn’t THAT intelligent. They’re just annoying. There’s a reason it’s called ADULT conversation.

You want to have “intellectual” one on ones with your kid at home, all day long, have at it. The rest of us aren’t interested. Only you find your kid charming.

I dont have a child. How about this: YOU are not that intelligent. You're just annoying. You are self centered and childish. And no one is interested in your dislike of children other than yourself. See a therapist.

I love kids! I have 2. I just can’t stand the parents who let their kids dominate everything. Can’t you see the difference?

Not really! You're wanting to punish the kids for being bright and precocious. Sad. I wonder if your kids feel beaten down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So annoying. Could not really have a conversation with a mom the other day. Child was like a little nosy adult, interrupting, intruding, etc.

Careful now pp, your anxiety is showing. You shouldn't be jealous of an intelligent child.

+1
Or threatened by one

No matter how much you want it to be, your child isn’t THAT intelligent. They’re just annoying. There’s a reason it’s called ADULT conversation.

You want to have “intellectual” one on ones with your kid at home, all day long, have at it. The rest of us aren’t interested. Only you find your kid charming.

I dont have a child. How about this: YOU are not that intelligent. You're just annoying. You are self centered and childish. And no one is interested in your dislike of children other than yourself. See a therapist.

Oh gosh. We're all debating a snarky 14 year old who feels annoyed that they aren't the center of attention all the time. Please leave DCUM for the adults. Your points aren't as brilliant as you think they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone is welcome in every conversation all the time. The earlier your kids pick this up, the more likely they are to succeed in life. A little humility is a good thing, as is the ability to pick up social cues.

And not everyone is a skilled conversationalist or intelligent speaker. The more you let your kids practice these skills, the better they will get. Conversations with adults (with mom there) is great practice. And very valuable to life for high earners and intelligent types.

Then mom will have to get used to getting fewer invites from her friends.