Kids who dominate adult conversations

[Anonymous]

I always assume kids like this are on the spectrum. I try to be polite, but redirect.

[Anonymous]

OP, I hate it when adults think it’s ok to ignore kids and act like they aren’t there - which it sounds like you do, and you want everyone else to do, too.

I absolutely teach my kids not to interrupt, but if they politely join a conversation - say, we’re talking about our vacation, and the kid chimes in with their favorite parts or little details and forgot - I’m 100% on board. Kids do not learn how to have polite conversation by talking exclusively with other kids. They need to talk to adults as well.

[Anonymous]

Clarify please. Does this child opt to stay with the adults while the other children are playing on the playground?

[Anonymous]

If the child is actually conversing, not interrupting, I don't see how you have any grounds to correct them. Sure you can be rude yourself and not respond to the child, but this is a part of growing up and learning the skills for conversation. My guess is the child is actually the oldest in the group and doesn't want to play with the younger kids, so they are gravitating to the adults.

Now, if the child is interrupting the conversation, I would politely say, "please remember to speak when the other person finishes, so we aren't talking over each other!" this actually helps them learn, not just dismisses the fact that they want to talk to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:" But for me there is also the extra element of being raised to think it’s rude to chat away with adults unless they talk to you."

Get therapy to unlearn this. It's very backwards and regressive and bad for social skills (as your case proves)

Instead, pp, why don’t you take some parenting classes. No one wants to hear your kids prattle on as much as you let them.

NP. I think some adults get insecure when a kid is smarter than them in a conversation

NP I’m dying laughing at this. Yes Suzy, other parents are INTIMIDATED BY YOUR PRESCHOOLER’S INTELLECT. That’s why they want her to be quiet and go away!

Yes. I know some adults who are as dumb as a bag of rocks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do I gently deal with kids who interrupt and dominate adult conversations? I don’t want to offend the other mom. I often meet up with other moms for some adult conversation but one of the moms’ children always ends up dominating our conversations. After spending the entire day with my kids, I am really just craving talking to other adults, not talking to other kids about kid stuff.

The other mom sort of encourages it and I can kind of see it as a social benefit for the children in getting practice speaking with other adults. But for me there is also the extra element of being raised to think it’s rude to chat away with adults unless they talk to you. And her kids are lovely but I just don’t want to talk with them the entire time, but they just love talking with us instead of playing on their own or with each other.

Suggest meeting up w/o the kids. Invite your kid(s) along so they'll play with hers. Or just meet up with other people, since it sounds like you have options.

[Anonymous]

Start talking about things that are inappropriate around kids, like graphic sex topics.

[Anonymous]

OP to clarify: It's a preschooler and a 4th grader who generally are into talking with us adults. I'd say 20% of their time is spent playing amongst themselves, and the other rest of the time is spent talking with us adults. They are generally polite and say excuse me before interrupting, which I appreciate - but it is done in the middle of our conversations and the maine thing is that it's done persistently, and then they start talking about something totally unrelated. And no, I don't just ignore them when they talk to me. I'd say I'm less "engaging" with the kids than the other moms but they are nicer than me .

I spend all day talking to my children, and maybe I'm introverted, but I have a limit when it comes to chatting away with children and I usually reach it by the end of the day. I just need to talk to grown-ups for a while for my mental health. And unfortunately, we can't just leave the kids at home and meet up without the kids, unless it's after they are in bed. Which rarely happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hate it when adults think it’s ok to ignore kids and act like they aren’t there - which it sounds like you do, and you want everyone else to do, too.

I absolutely teach my kids not to interrupt, but if they politely join a conversation - say, we’re talking about our vacation, and the kid chimes in with their favorite parts or little details and forgot - I’m 100% on board. Kids do not learn how to have polite conversation by talking exclusively with other kids. They need to talk to adults as well.

It’s asking a lot of the other adult especially if they have been around kids all day. You the parent think it’s delightful when little Larlo talks (sooo cute!) but the other person probably longing for adult talk. Too much of that and you won’t be talking with that person any more. Not every interaction is about your kids. It’s something you learn as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:" But for me there is also the extra element of being raised to think it’s rude to chat away with adults unless they talk to you."

Get therapy to unlearn this. It's very backwards and regressive and bad for social skills (as your case proves)

Instead, pp, why don’t you take some parenting classes. No one wants to hear your kids prattle on as much as you let them.

That is not true, NP, you guys sound like you had kids so your facebook page looks good.

[Anonymous]

If the child is actually conversing, not interrupting, I don't see how you have any grounds to correct them.

“I am not interested in the opinions of a child” is a perfectly valid ground for telling the kid to pipe down,

[Anonymous]

How old is the kid? 2 or 3 year old is one thing, school age is another

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would “let’s meet up without the kids next time!”

x100000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hate it when adults think it’s ok to ignore kids and act like they aren’t there - which it sounds like you do, and you want everyone else to do, too.

I absolutely teach my kids not to interrupt, but if they politely join a conversation - say, we’re talking about our vacation, and the kid chimes in with their favorite parts or little details and forgot - I’m 100% on board. Kids do not learn how to have polite conversation by talking exclusively with other kids. They need to talk to adults as well.

It’s asking a lot of the other adult especially if they have been around kids all day. You the parent think it’s delightful when little Larlo talks (sooo cute!) but the other person probably longing for adult talk. Too much of that and you won’t be talking with that person any more. Not every interaction is about your kids. It’s something you learn as a parent.

I think OP needs to understand "everything is not about you" maybe she missed that in her upbringing.

She sounds like she is starving for attention and it's not her friends job to help her with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If the child is actually conversing, not interrupting, I don't see how you have any grounds to correct them.

“I am not interested in the opinions of a child” is a perfectly valid ground for telling the kid to pipe down,

That would be the last time we "got together".