Coming to terms with your teen being unmotivated and unimpressive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s just average? That’s OK, you know. Is he happy? Does he have friends?

+1. My teen DS plays more videogames than I'd like but I've learned that it's how he and his friends like to socialize. He's not at all competitive, doesn't like to join school teams/ clubs, but does well in class and, most importantly, he's kind and has good friends. He won't go to a college that DCUM finds impressive but I'm confident he'll find his way in life and be happy.

On DCUM a child is “average” because they “only” got a 1300 on the SAT or got a couple more Bs than As or only made district titles rather than state!

Grades are no longer a measure of success. ACT/SAT scores and college readiness rates are sliding, yet 50% of all 12th graders in the US have an A average GPA. Teens are several grade levels behind while maintaining As and Bs.

Do not look at your painfully unmotivated lazy child and pretend everything is ok because they have decent grades — EVERYONE has decent grades now. Nearly half the kids who begin college fail or drop out because they’re so many grade levels behind and have no discipline and no study skills.

NO EVERYONE does not have decent grades. I hate that DCUM perpetuates this lie. Plenty of kids in MCPS still struggle, and are "unimpressive". It's a very tough area to be average.

In 2019 my niece graduated from a half-decent public school district with a 3.33 GPA. Her parents bragged she was an As and Bs student who never had to study. She then decided to take classes at the local two-year community college, which required placement tests. She tested into remedial courses that were on par with 7th grade level material.

Grades are meaningless – especially non-honors and non-AP courses. And really, AP grades mean nothing if the kid can't earn at least a 3 on the AP Exam. Many kids take AP courses, get inflated grades, then totally skip or bomb the exams.

Oh shit.

That must have been a shock to them! I can't even imagine how humiliating that would be to find out. Damn.

It's easy to predict without placement tests. If your 11th grader scores in the teens to sub 23 on the ACT (or equivalent on the SAT), they have the acuity of a 6th to 10th grader. But most non-tiger parents have no idea what an ACT/SAT score actually means and just ignore if since inflated grades appear good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s just average? That’s OK, you know. Is he happy? Does he have friends?

+1. My teen DS plays more videogames than I'd like but I've learned that it's how he and his friends like to socialize. He's not at all competitive, doesn't like to join school teams/ clubs, but does well in class and, most importantly, he's kind and has good friends. He won't go to a college that DCUM finds impressive but I'm confident he'll find his way in life and be happy.

On DCUM a child is “average” because they “only” got a 1300 on the SAT or got a couple more Bs than As or only made district titles rather than state!

Grades are no longer a measure of success. ACT/SAT scores and college readiness rates are sliding, yet 50% of all 12th graders in the US have an A average GPA. Teens are several grade levels behind while maintaining As and Bs.

Do not look at your painfully unmotivated lazy child and pretend everything is ok because they have decent grades — EVERYONE has decent grades now. Nearly half the kids who begin college fail or drop out because they’re so many grade levels behind and have no discipline and no study skills.

NO EVERYONE does not have decent grades. I hate that DCUM perpetuates this lie. Plenty of kids in MCPS still struggle, and are "unimpressive". It's a very tough area to be average.

In 2019 my niece graduated from a half-decent public school district with a 3.33 GPA. Her parents bragged she was an As and Bs student who never had to study. She then decided to take classes at the local two-year community college, which required placement tests. She tested into remedial courses that were on par with 7th grade level material.

Grades are meaningless – especially non-honors and non-AP courses. And really, AP grades mean nothing if the kid can't earn at least a 3 on the AP Exam. Many kids take AP courses, get inflated grades, then totally skip or bomb the exams.

Oh shit.

That must have been a shock to them! I can't even imagine how humiliating that would be to find out. Damn.

It's easy to predict without placement tests. If your 11th grader scores in the teens to sub 23 on the ACT (or equivalent on the SAT), they have the acuity of a 6th to 10th grader. But most non-tiger parents have no idea what an ACT/SAT score actually means and just ignore if since inflated grades appear good.

I know plenty of people who got 20-22 on the ACT and are elementary teachers, in communications, etc. Breathe!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm LOLing at all the posters who are saying "it's not Mark Zuckerberg or homeless."

Please, he's got no chance of being Mark Zuckerberg at this point. It's more like can he scrape by with a 50k job and can mom be happy with that OR homeless. And, by the way, it doesn't sound like she can by happy with the average life and that is the real issue.

Who gives a crap whether his mom is “happy” with that when HE IS AN ADULT. I’ve never even told my parents my income.

Because these loser moms have nothing going on in their lives and their job is "raising kids" and if their kids don't cure cancer they are failures.

It's such a mess. I would love to research these people and the damage they are doing to their family.

[Anonymous]

Plumbers and electricians and HVAC people can make good money. The problem is they need business savvy as well. For my less academic kids I would insist they take finance courses whether or not they get a degree, nd do well.
In my husbands family, there's 9 kids. An accountant, a lawyer, a doctor (DCUM approved yay).
There's also a snack machine manager married to a PA
One of them runs camps, married to an occupational therapist
One speech therapist
High school dropout who got VERY lucky and now has a high level management position. Makes the most money of anyone in the family including the ones with degrees. But he was very lucky (met someone while working a low wage job who liked him).
One not working, still finding themselves
A clergy person who works on and off

My point is that success in life doesn't really have much to do with what you're like as a teenager. Make sure your kid has to work to get those video games and they'll be fine, if not DCUM approved level fine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surprised by all the people saying community college or a trade.

That's just not good enough for me and I'm not afraid to be honest about that.

For you? Be honest about it all you want. Prod and pressure him all you want. He’ll be over 18 at at that point. But you probably won’t be able to make him want what you want, and if you want him to ever be able to support himself someday independently you’re going to have to change your expectations. I’m guessing you view your kid as a trophy to be shown to your coworkers and neighbors. Try to think about what’s best for the individual kid rather than status.

I'll never support a child laying on the couch playing video games all day. Future deadbead right there.

PP. Okay, kick me out on the street then. Nobody’s forcing you to raise your teenager. How is a trade or cc graduate a deadbeat?

The successful men I know in trades are macho former athletes who have been working their asses off since their teens. The successful "blue collar" cops (in command positions) I know are ex military and/or have bachelor's and master's degrees.

I don't know any successful blue collar men who are as OP describes. OP's kid sounds like a flunkie who'd be fired from a construction site for showing up late, showing up hung-over or after caught sitting on his ass one too many times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s just average? That’s OK, you know. Is he happy? Does he have friends?

+1. My teen DS plays more videogames than I'd like but I've learned that it's how he and his friends like to socialize. He's not at all competitive, doesn't like to join school teams/ clubs, but does well in class and, most importantly, he's kind and has good friends. He won't go to a college that DCUM finds impressive but I'm confident he'll find his way in life and be happy.

On DCUM a child is “average” because they “only” got a 1300 on the SAT or got a couple more Bs than As or only made district titles rather than state!

Grades are no longer a measure of success. ACT/SAT scores and college readiness rates are sliding, yet 50% of all 12th graders in the US have an A average GPA. Teens are several grade levels behind while maintaining As and Bs.

Do not look at your painfully unmotivated lazy child and pretend everything is ok because they have decent grades — EVERYONE has decent grades now. Nearly half the kids who begin college fail or drop out because they’re so many grade levels behind and have no discipline and no study skills.

NO EVERYONE does not have decent grades. I hate that DCUM perpetuates this lie. Plenty of kids in MCPS still struggle, and are "unimpressive". It's a very tough area to be average.

In 2019 my niece graduated from a half-decent public school district with a 3.33 GPA. Her parents bragged she was an As and Bs student who never had to study. She then decided to take classes at the local two-year community college, which required placement tests. She tested into remedial courses that were on par with 7th grade level material.

Grades are meaningless – especially non-honors and non-AP courses. And really, AP grades mean nothing if the kid can't earn at least a 3 on the AP Exam. Many kids take AP courses, get inflated grades, then totally skip or bomb the exams.

Oh shit.

That must have been a shock to them! I can't even imagine how humiliating that would be to find out. Damn.

It's easy to predict without placement tests. If your 11th grader scores in the teens to sub 23 on the ACT (or equivalent on the SAT), they have the acuity of a 6th to 10th grader. But most non-tiger parents have no idea what an ACT/SAT score actually means and just ignore if since inflated grades appear good.

I know plenty of people who got 20-22 on the ACT and are elementary teachers, in communications, etc. Breathe!

Haha, my son got a 24 and is at a top university. #athlete #communications

Not worried!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s just average? That’s OK, you know. Is he happy? Does he have friends?

+1. My teen DS plays more videogames than I'd like but I've learned that it's how he and his friends like to socialize. He's not at all competitive, doesn't like to join school teams/ clubs, but does well in class and, most importantly, he's kind and has good friends. He won't go to a college that DCUM finds impressive but I'm confident he'll find his way in life and be happy.

On DCUM a child is “average” because they “only” got a 1300 on the SAT or got a couple more Bs than As or only made district titles rather than state!

Grades are no longer a measure of success. ACT/SAT scores and college readiness rates are sliding, yet 50% of all 12th graders in the US have an A average GPA. Teens are several grade levels behind while maintaining As and Bs.

Do not look at your painfully unmotivated lazy child and pretend everything is ok because they have decent grades — EVERYONE has decent grades now. Nearly half the kids who begin college fail or drop out because they’re so many grade levels behind and have no discipline and no study skills.

NO EVERYONE does not have decent grades. I hate that DCUM perpetuates this lie. Plenty of kids in MCPS still struggle, and are "unimpressive". It's a very tough area to be average.

In 2019 my niece graduated from a half-decent public school district with a 3.33 GPA. Her parents bragged she was an As and Bs student who never had to study. She then decided to take classes at the local two-year community college, which required placement tests. She tested into remedial courses that were on par with 7th grade level material.

Grades are meaningless – especially non-honors and non-AP courses. And really, AP grades mean nothing if the kid can't earn at least a 3 on the AP Exam. Many kids take AP courses, get inflated grades, then totally skip or bomb the exams.

Oh shit.

That must have been a shock to them! I can't even imagine how humiliating that would be to find out. Damn.

It's easy to predict without placement tests. If your 11th grader scores in the teens to sub 23 on the ACT (or equivalent on the SAT), they have the acuity of a 6th to 10th grader. But most non-tiger parents have no idea what an ACT/SAT score actually means and just ignore if since inflated grades appear good.

I know plenty of people who got 20-22 on the ACT and are elementary teachers, in communications, etc. Breathe!

Good for you? The college graduation rate of teens with sub 22 or 23 on the ACT is only about 25%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surprised by all the people saying community college or a trade.

That's just not good enough for me and I'm not afraid to be honest about that.

For you? Be honest about it all you want. Prod and pressure him all you want. He’ll be over 18 at at that point. But you probably won’t be able to make him want what you want, and if you want him to ever be able to support himself someday independently you’re going to have to change your expectations. I’m guessing you view your kid as a trophy to be shown to your coworkers and neighbors. Try to think about what’s best for the individual kid rather than status.

I'll never support a child laying on the couch playing video games all day. Future deadbead right there.

PP. Okay, kick me out on the street then. Nobody’s forcing you to raise your teenager. How is a trade or cc graduate a deadbeat?

The successful men I know in trades are macho former athletes who have been working their asses off since their teens. The successful "blue collar" cops (in command positions) I know are ex military and/or have bachelor's and master's degrees.

I don't know any successful blue collar men who are as OP describes. OP's kid sounds like a flunkie who'd be fired from a construction site for showing up late, showing up hung-over or after caught sitting on his ass one too many times.

My brother was a full on slacker, smoked pot starting at 12, skateboarder, long hair, basically stopped his educations at 10th grade... just retired at 50 ... mostly from building houses up-charging Takoma Park and Bethesda people for work.

Owns a house with barns and horses on 50 acres and a vacation home. Kids are all in environmental sciences, wife retired too, saves birds.

You guys live in a f'd up bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s just average? That’s OK, you know. Is he happy? Does he have friends?

+1. My teen DS plays more videogames than I'd like but I've learned that it's how he and his friends like to socialize. He's not at all competitive, doesn't like to join school teams/ clubs, but does well in class and, most importantly, he's kind and has good friends. He won't go to a college that DCUM finds impressive but I'm confident he'll find his way in life and be happy.

On DCUM a child is “average” because they “only” got a 1300 on the SAT or got a couple more Bs than As or only made district titles rather than state!

Grades are no longer a measure of success. ACT/SAT scores and college readiness rates are sliding, yet 50% of all 12th graders in the US have an A average GPA. Teens are several grade levels behind while maintaining As and Bs.

Do not look at your painfully unmotivated lazy child and pretend everything is ok because they have decent grades — EVERYONE has decent grades now. Nearly half the kids who begin college fail or drop out because they’re so many grade levels behind and have no discipline and no study skills.

NO EVERYONE does not have decent grades. I hate that DCUM perpetuates this lie. Plenty of kids in MCPS still struggle, and are "unimpressive". It's a very tough area to be average.

In 2019 my niece graduated from a half-decent public school district with a 3.33 GPA. Her parents bragged she was an As and Bs student who never had to study. She then decided to take classes at the local two-year community college, which required placement tests. She tested into remedial courses that were on par with 7th grade level material.

Grades are meaningless – especially non-honors and non-AP courses. And really, AP grades mean nothing if the kid can't earn at least a 3 on the AP Exam. Many kids take AP courses, get inflated grades, then totally skip or bomb the exams.

Oh shit.

That must have been a shock to them! I can't even imagine how humiliating that would be to find out. Damn.

It's easy to predict without placement tests. If your 11th grader scores in the teens to sub 23 on the ACT (or equivalent on the SAT), they have the acuity of a 6th to 10th grader. But most non-tiger parents have no idea what an ACT/SAT score actually means and just ignore if since inflated grades appear good.

I know plenty of people who got 20-22 on the ACT and are elementary teachers, in communications, etc. Breathe!

Good for you? The college graduation rate of teens with sub 22 or 23 on the ACT is only about 25%.

I love how people on DCUM just make up these statistics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s just average? That’s OK, you know. Is he happy? Does he have friends?

+1. My teen DS plays more videogames than I'd like but I've learned that it's how he and his friends like to socialize. He's not at all competitive, doesn't like to join school teams/ clubs, but does well in class and, most importantly, he's kind and has good friends. He won't go to a college that DCUM finds impressive but I'm confident he'll find his way in life and be happy.

On DCUM a child is “average” because they “only” got a 1300 on the SAT or got a couple more Bs than As or only made district titles rather than state!

Grades are no longer a measure of success. ACT/SAT scores and college readiness rates are sliding, yet 50% of all 12th graders in the US have an A average GPA. Teens are several grade levels behind while maintaining As and Bs.

Do not look at your painfully unmotivated lazy child and pretend everything is ok because they have decent grades — EVERYONE has decent grades now. Nearly half the kids who begin college fail or drop out because they’re so many grade levels behind and have no discipline and no study skills.

NO EVERYONE does not have decent grades. I hate that DCUM perpetuates this lie. Plenty of kids in MCPS still struggle, and are "unimpressive". It's a very tough area to be average.

In 2019 my niece graduated from a half-decent public school district with a 3.33 GPA. Her parents bragged she was an As and Bs student who never had to study. She then decided to take classes at the local two-year community college, which required placement tests. She tested into remedial courses that were on par with 7th grade level material.

Grades are meaningless – especially non-honors and non-AP courses. And really, AP grades mean nothing if the kid can't earn at least a 3 on the AP Exam. Many kids take AP courses, get inflated grades, then totally skip or bomb the exams.

Oh shit.

That must have been a shock to them! I can't even imagine how humiliating that would be to find out. Damn.

It's easy to predict without placement tests. If your 11th grader scores in the teens to sub 23 on the ACT (or equivalent on the SAT), they have the acuity of a 6th to 10th grader. But most non-tiger parents have no idea what an ACT/SAT score actually means and just ignore if since inflated grades appear good.

I know plenty of people who got 20-22 on the ACT and are elementary teachers, in communications, etc. Breathe!

Good for you? The college graduation rate of teens with sub 22 or 23 on the ACT is only about 25%.

Graduation rate for 23 is 60%..

http://www.act.org/content/dam/act/unsecured/documents/Info-Brief-2012-30.pdf

Also, income level is a greater prediction of dropping out... and if you look at who drops out it's #1... money, #2... mental health... not ACT score.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s just average? That’s OK, you know. Is he happy? Does he have friends?

+1. My teen DS plays more videogames than I'd like but I've learned that it's how he and his friends like to socialize. He's not at all competitive, doesn't like to join school teams/ clubs, but does well in class and, most importantly, he's kind and has good friends. He won't go to a college that DCUM finds impressive but I'm confident he'll find his way in life and be happy.

On DCUM a child is “average” because they “only” got a 1300 on the SAT or got a couple more Bs than As or only made district titles rather than state!

Grades are no longer a measure of success. ACT/SAT scores and college readiness rates are sliding, yet 50% of all 12th graders in the US have an A average GPA. Teens are several grade levels behind while maintaining As and Bs.

Do not look at your painfully unmotivated lazy child and pretend everything is ok because they have decent grades — EVERYONE has decent grades now. Nearly half the kids who begin college fail or drop out because they’re so many grade levels behind and have no discipline and no study skills.

NO EVERYONE does not have decent grades. I hate that DCUM perpetuates this lie. Plenty of kids in MCPS still struggle, and are "unimpressive". It's a very tough area to be average.

In 2019 my niece graduated from a half-decent public school district with a 3.33 GPA. Her parents bragged she was an As and Bs student who never had to study. She then decided to take classes at the local two-year community college, which required placement tests. She tested into remedial courses that were on par with 7th grade level material.

Grades are meaningless – especially non-honors and non-AP courses. And really, AP grades mean nothing if the kid can't earn at least a 3 on the AP Exam. Many kids take AP courses, get inflated grades, then totally skip or bomb the exams.

Oh shit.

That must have been a shock to them! I can't even imagine how humiliating that would be to find out. Damn.

It's easy to predict without placement tests. If your 11th grader scores in the teens to sub 23 on the ACT (or equivalent on the SAT), they have the acuity of a 6th to 10th grader. But most non-tiger parents have no idea what an ACT/SAT score actually means and just ignore if since inflated grades appear good.

I know plenty of people who got 20-22 on the ACT and are elementary teachers, in communications, etc. Breathe!

Good for you? The college graduation rate of teens with sub 22 or 23 on the ACT is only about 25%.

Graduation rate for 23 is 60%..

http://www.act.org/content/dam/act/unsecured/documents/Info-Brief-2012-30.pdf

Also, income level is a greater prediction of dropping out... and if you look at who drops out it's #1... money, #2... mental health... not ACT score.

That is also much higher than the average overall college graduation rate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s just average? That’s OK, you know. Is he happy? Does he have friends?

+1. My teen DS plays more videogames than I'd like but I've learned that it's how he and his friends like to socialize. He's not at all competitive, doesn't like to join school teams/ clubs, but does well in class and, most importantly, he's kind and has good friends. He won't go to a college that DCUM finds impressive but I'm confident he'll find his way in life and be happy.

On DCUM a child is “average” because they “only” got a 1300 on the SAT or got a couple more Bs than As or only made district titles rather than state!

Grades are no longer a measure of success. ACT/SAT scores and college readiness rates are sliding, yet 50% of all 12th graders in the US have an A average GPA. Teens are several grade levels behind while maintaining As and Bs.

Do not look at your painfully unmotivated lazy child and pretend everything is ok because they have decent grades — EVERYONE has decent grades now. Nearly half the kids who begin college fail or drop out because they’re so many grade levels behind and have no discipline and no study skills.

NO EVERYONE does not have decent grades. I hate that DCUM perpetuates this lie. Plenty of kids in MCPS still struggle, and are "unimpressive". It's a very tough area to be average.

In 2019 my niece graduated from a half-decent public school district with a 3.33 GPA. Her parents bragged she was an As and Bs student who never had to study. She then decided to take classes at the local two-year community college, which required placement tests. She tested into remedial courses that were on par with 7th grade level material.

Grades are meaningless – especially non-honors and non-AP courses. And really, AP grades mean nothing if the kid can't earn at least a 3 on the AP Exam. Many kids take AP courses, get inflated grades, then totally skip or bomb the exams.

Oh shit.

That must have been a shock to them! I can't even imagine how humiliating that would be to find out. Damn.

It's easy to predict without placement tests. If your 11th grader scores in the teens to sub 23 on the ACT (or equivalent on the SAT), they have the acuity of a 6th to 10th grader. But most non-tiger parents have no idea what an ACT/SAT score actually means and just ignore if since inflated grades appear good.

I know plenty of people who got 20-22 on the ACT and are elementary teachers, in communications, etc. Breathe!

Haha, my son got a 24 and is at a top university. #athlete #communications

Not worried!

Laugh all you want. All the former communication majors I know have good jobs. Communications is more applicable to a job than, say, astrophysics. Shocking, I know!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s just average? That’s OK, you know. Is he happy? Does he have friends?

+1. My teen DS plays more videogames than I'd like but I've learned that it's how he and his friends like to socialize. He's not at all competitive, doesn't like to join school teams/ clubs, but does well in class and, most importantly, he's kind and has good friends. He won't go to a college that DCUM finds impressive but I'm confident he'll find his way in life and be happy.

On DCUM a child is “average” because they “only” got a 1300 on the SAT or got a couple more Bs than As or only made district titles rather than state!

Grades are no longer a measure of success. ACT/SAT scores and college readiness rates are sliding, yet 50% of all 12th graders in the US have an A average GPA. Teens are several grade levels behind while maintaining As and Bs.

Do not look at your painfully unmotivated lazy child and pretend everything is ok because they have decent grades — EVERYONE has decent grades now. Nearly half the kids who begin college fail or drop out because they’re so many grade levels behind and have no discipline and no study skills.

NO EVERYONE does not have decent grades. I hate that DCUM perpetuates this lie. Plenty of kids in MCPS still struggle, and are "unimpressive". It's a very tough area to be average.

In 2019 my niece graduated from a half-decent public school district with a 3.33 GPA. Her parents bragged she was an As and Bs student who never had to study. She then decided to take classes at the local two-year community college, which required placement tests. She tested into remedial courses that were on par with 7th grade level material.

Grades are meaningless – especially non-honors and non-AP courses. And really, AP grades mean nothing if the kid can't earn at least a 3 on the AP Exam. Many kids take AP courses, get inflated grades, then totally skip or bomb the exams.

Oh shit.

That must have been a shock to them! I can't even imagine how humiliating that would be to find out. Damn.

It's easy to predict without placement tests. If your 11th grader scores in the teens to sub 23 on the ACT (or equivalent on the SAT), they have the acuity of a 6th to 10th grader. But most non-tiger parents have no idea what an ACT/SAT score actually means and just ignore if since inflated grades appear good.

I know plenty of people who got 20-22 on the ACT and are elementary teachers, in communications, etc. Breathe!

Good for you? The college graduation rate of teens with sub 22 or 23 on the ACT is only about 25%.

Graduation rate for 23 is 60%..

http://www.act.org/content/dam/act/unsecured/documents/Info-Brief-2012-30.pdf

Also, income level is a greater prediction of dropping out... and if you look at who drops out it's #1... money, #2... mental health... not ACT score.

That is also much higher than the average overall college graduation rate

Don't take the ACT, you will fail the Math section and then you are doomed to be a plumber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s just average? That’s OK, you know. Is he happy? Does he have friends?

+1. My teen DS plays more videogames than I'd like but I've learned that it's how he and his friends like to socialize. He's not at all competitive, doesn't like to join school teams/ clubs, but does well in class and, most importantly, he's kind and has good friends. He won't go to a college that DCUM finds impressive but I'm confident he'll find his way in life and be happy.

On DCUM a child is “average” because they “only” got a 1300 on the SAT or got a couple more Bs than As or only made district titles rather than state!

Grades are no longer a measure of success. ACT/SAT scores and college readiness rates are sliding, yet 50% of all 12th graders in the US have an A average GPA. Teens are several grade levels behind while maintaining As and Bs.

Do not look at your painfully unmotivated lazy child and pretend everything is ok because they have decent grades — EVERYONE has decent grades now. Nearly half the kids who begin college fail or drop out because they’re so many grade levels behind and have no discipline and no study skills.

NO EVERYONE does not have decent grades. I hate that DCUM perpetuates this lie. Plenty of kids in MCPS still struggle, and are "unimpressive". It's a very tough area to be average.

In 2019 my niece graduated from a half-decent public school district with a 3.33 GPA. Her parents bragged she was an As and Bs student who never had to study. She then decided to take classes at the local two-year community college, which required placement tests. She tested into remedial courses that were on par with 7th grade level material.

Grades are meaningless – especially non-honors and non-AP courses. And really, AP grades mean nothing if the kid can't earn at least a 3 on the AP Exam. Many kids take AP courses, get inflated grades, then totally skip or bomb the exams.

Oh shit.

That must have been a shock to them! I can't even imagine how humiliating that would be to find out. Damn.

It's easy to predict without placement tests. If your 11th grader scores in the teens to sub 23 on the ACT (or equivalent on the SAT), they have the acuity of a 6th to 10th grader. But most non-tiger parents have no idea what an ACT/SAT score actually means and just ignore if since inflated grades appear good.

I know plenty of people who got 20-22 on the ACT and are elementary teachers, in communications, etc. Breathe!

Haha, my son got a 24 and is at a top university. #athlete #communications

Not worried!

Laugh all you want. All the former communication majors I know have good jobs. Communications is more applicable to a job than, say, astrophysics. Shocking, I know!

Well that is why I'm laughing and why I'm not worried. except he has COVID right now so im a little worried.

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Anonymous wrote:Surprised by all the people saying community college or a trade.

That's just not good enough for me and I'm not afraid to be honest about that.

For you? Be honest about it all you want. Prod and pressure him all you want. He’ll be over 18 at at that point. But you probably won’t be able to make him want what you want, and if you want him to ever be able to support himself someday independently you’re going to have to change your expectations. I’m guessing you view your kid as a trophy to be shown to your coworkers and neighbors. Try to think about what’s best for the individual kid rather than status.

I'll never support a child laying on the couch playing video games all day. Future deadbead right there.

PP. Okay, kick me out on the street then. Nobody’s forcing you to raise your teenager. How is a trade or cc graduate a deadbeat?

The successful men I know in trades are macho former athletes who have been working their asses off since their teens. The successful "blue collar" cops (in command positions) I know are ex military and/or have bachelor's and master's degrees.

I don't know any successful blue collar men who are as OP describes. OP's kid sounds like a flunkie who'd be fired from a construction site for showing up late, showing up hung-over or after caught sitting on his ass one too many times.

My brother was a full on slacker, smoked pot starting at 12, skateboarder, long hair, basically stopped his educations at 10th grade... just retired at 50 ... mostly from building houses up-charging Takoma Park and Bethesda people for work.

Owns a house with barns and horses on 50 acres and a vacation home. Kids are all in environmental sciences, wife retired too, saves birds.

You guys live in a f'd up bubble.

that's clearly the norm - rejoice, you're drop out will retire early as a rich man