Last year's 'no food in this house' solution

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or just stop stuffing your face constantly.

Karen, some of us need three actual meals a day.
Not coffee with a piece of toast and then wait til 7 a night to have dinner.

And cigs and dexatrim btween toast and dinner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can always tell which side is unhinged on DCUM because they default to hyperbole. Instead of rational reasons, call someone fat, and equate three standard meals to "stuffing your face constantly."

I don't think it's intentional. I think people with bizarre beliefs are often frozen into very black and white thinking, and anything that disagrees with their beliefs must be some caricature of the Worst Interpretation Ever, Hyperbole 1001.

Okay, THAT is hyperbole. Just saying.

Nope. Bizarre goes with black and white thinking. That's what makes it bizarre.

I can't help what words mean. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or just stop stuffing your face constantly.

Karen, some of us need three actual meals a day.
Not coffee with a piece of toast and then wait til 7 a night to have dinner.

And cigs and dexatrim btween toast and dinner

Right??

[Anonymous]

NP and I wish I had family members who actually listened when you were "direct." I actually posted on DCUM about a family member's rude comments on Thanksgivings and when she was told it was rude and inappropriate, she just didn't care. You all act like telling them that you're just going to do it changes their minds... it doesn't.

So because that's probably more common than not, OP has found a way around it so that the holidays aren't filled with confrontation and tension. Win, win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP and I wish I had family members who actually listened when you were "direct." I actually posted on DCUM about a family member's rude comments on Thanksgivings and when she was told it was rude and inappropriate, she just didn't care. You all act like telling them that you're just going to do it changes their minds... it doesn't.

So because that's probably more common than not, OP has found a way around it so that the holidays aren't filled with confrontation and tension. Win, win.

And yet you keep inviting her and letting her in the door. If someone is rude and inappropriate to me, they don't cross the threshold of my home, and I don't go to events where they are in attendance; and I let the host know why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP and I wish I had family members who actually listened when you were "direct." I actually posted on DCUM about a family member's rude comments on Thanksgivings and when she was told it was rude and inappropriate, she just didn't care. You all act like telling them that you're just going to do it changes their minds... it doesn't.

So because that's probably more common than not, OP has found a way around it so that the holidays aren't filled with confrontation and tension. Win, win.

+1

People like this MIL live in their own head, nothing OP says is going to get through that thick, stubborn skull of MIL's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can always tell which side is unhinged on DCUM because they default to hyperbole. Instead of rational reasons, call someone fat, and equate three standard meals to "stuffing your face constantly."

I don't think it's intentional. I think people with bizarre beliefs are often frozen into very black and white thinking, and anything that disagrees with their beliefs must be some caricature of the Worst Interpretation Ever, Hyperbole 1001.

Okay, THAT is hyperbole. Just saying.

Nope. Bizarre goes with black and white thinking. That's what makes it bizarre.

I can't help what words mean. Sorry.

LOL. Yeah, no.

[Anonymous]

I know for a fact that MILs like this underfed their own children. OP, you keep doing what you have to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP and I wish I had family members who actually listened when you were "direct." I actually posted on DCUM about a family member's rude comments on Thanksgivings and when she was told it was rude and inappropriate, she just didn't care. You all act like telling them that you're just going to do it changes their minds... it doesn't.

So because that's probably more common than not, OP has found a way around it so that the holidays aren't filled with confrontation and tension. Win, win.

And yet you keep inviting her and letting her in the door. If someone is rude and inappropriate to me, they don't cross the threshold of my home, and I don't go to events where they are in attendance; and I let the host know why.

I am not this pp, but if I did this, I would have to never go to another family event again. Sometimes the rest of the family members are also bullies and inappropriate, and think it's "fine". I've have never had an interaction where being direct solved anything in my family.

OPs solution is awesome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can always tell which side is unhinged on DCUM because they default to hyperbole. Instead of rational reasons, call someone fat, and equate three standard meals to "stuffing your face constantly."

I don't think it's intentional. I think people with bizarre beliefs are often frozen into very black and white thinking, and anything that disagrees with their beliefs must be some caricature of the Worst Interpretation Ever, Hyperbole 1001.

Okay, THAT is hyperbole. Just saying.

Nope. Bizarre goes with black and white thinking. That's what makes it bizarre.

I can't help what words mean. Sorry.

Agree. It's not hyperbolic to notice that some people are rigid thinkers and rigid thinkers often attribute extremes to their view of the world

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can always tell which side is unhinged on DCUM because they default to hyperbole. Instead of rational reasons, call someone fat, and equate three standard meals to "stuffing your face constantly."

I don't think it's intentional. I think people with bizarre beliefs are often frozen into very black and white thinking, and anything that disagrees with their beliefs must be some caricature of the Worst Interpretation Ever, Hyperbole 1001.

Okay, THAT is hyperbole. Just saying.

Nope. Bizarre goes with black and white thinking. That's what makes it bizarre.

I can't help what words mean. Sorry.

LOL. Yeah, no.

If you don't want to be called out for bizarre beliefs, then don't share them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can always tell which side is unhinged on DCUM because they default to hyperbole. Instead of rational reasons, call someone fat, and equate three standard meals to "stuffing your face constantly."

I don't think it's intentional. I think people with bizarre beliefs are often frozen into very black and white thinking, and anything that disagrees with their beliefs must be some caricature of the Worst Interpretation Ever, Hyperbole 1001.

Okay, THAT is hyperbole. Just saying.

Nope. Bizarre goes with black and white thinking. That's what makes it bizarre.

I can't help what words mean. Sorry.

LOL. Yeah, no.

If you don't want to be called out for bizarre beliefs, then don't share them.

Wut?

[Anonymous]

I didn't read through 11 pages and I don't know what happened last year but did someone go to IL's house and were refused food? And do others run into this? Don't get all crazy DCUM on me, just break it down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not this pp, but if I did this, I would have to never go to another family event again. Sometimes the rest of the family members are also bullies and inappropriate, and think it's "fine". I've have never had an interaction where being direct solved anything in my family.

OPs solution is awesome!

Yup. Some of you think that creating tension and calling people out will change them. It doesn't. Many of these people are as set in their ways as many of you.

The point is that you can choose to do what you need to do with or without calling them out and creating a scene. Some of us love OP's solution because she did what she needed to do for her family without creating all that drama and tension in the family. You aren't going to change them. You can choose to ban them from your house but you'll often find that if you just avoid going to events where these people are, that you will not see your extended family for many events. Most family members are just going to reply "Oh, sorry you can't make it, but the invitation is open if you change your mind," and will go about their business.

I am like OP. I do what I need to do for my spouse and kids without calling out the family members who are hosting. In my case, I always have a car, and I always make sure we stay someplace where we can do what we need for food. If there is no food in the house, we take the kids out to a playground, to go and run errands or to go someplace that the other adult family members won't want to go. I can figure out food options once we're out of the house and out of sight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Awesome! We've done poptarts, granola bars and snack mix and kept it in our room for DH and the kids. Milk is the hardest because my kids just about go through a 1/2 gallon a day. Inlaws don't have room in their fridge and will buy 1/2 gallon for the week.

Ha! So funny! My ILs do this too- with three milk-drinking teenagers, they seem surprised that the half gallon of milk does not last more than a morning. I do think FIL enjoys “the need” to head out to the store. I just am confused about the look of shock and “oh, are we out of milk already?” When it happens every day of the four we are all together. Husband offers to go, but ILs refuse.