Last year's 'no food in this house' solution

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In case it is helpful as we head into the holidays, here is my solution from last year's "there's never any food in my ILs' house" conundrum:

I bought myself a huge basket of Harry and David treats, said "I won it in a work raffle," and brought it with me "for everyone to enjoy while we're together."

So it was my food, but it was open to all, and it basically couldn't be denied to me or my family. I brought a big stack of paper plates and cocktail napkins. I brought a mini-cooler to keep the sausage and cheese in once those were opened, and kept it on the back porch. It was foolproof and held up against all protests.

So if "the kitchen is closed" or "we're not having lunch today," there was always something around that we had complete access to.

Hope this helps!

Haha great idea, though the “cool, we will go out to lunch” is simple and what we always do.

[Anonymous]

out of curiosity - why is there no food in the house? frugality? control? poor meal planning?

[Anonymous]

Are there no restaurants or grocery stores nearby to just go get some things you’d like for your stay?

[Anonymous]

^^For answers to all these and more questions, READ THE THREAD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In case it is helpful as we head into the holidays, here is my solution from last year's "there's never any food in my ILs' house" conundrum:

I bought myself a huge basket of Harry and David treats, said "I won it in a work raffle," and brought it with me "for everyone to enjoy while we're together."

So it was my food, but it was open to all, and it basically couldn't be denied to me or my family. I brought a big stack of paper plates and cocktail napkins. I brought a mini-cooler to keep the sausage and cheese in once those were opened, and kept it on the back porch. It was foolproof and held up against all protests.

So if "the kitchen is closed" or "we're not having lunch today," there was always something around that we had complete access to.

Hope this helps!

Even meets the healthy piece of fruit in the backyard test. Way to go!

[Anonymous]

Brilliant, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's great, but why can you not just tell them "hey, your schedule doesn't work for us. We are bringing food. We won't make any more work for you -- we'll wash all dishes, etc -- but we are going to eat when we're hungry. You're welcome to join us or not as you prefer."

Why should you have to revert to subterfuge.

First time on DCUM?

No. I just don't understand why people play games and can't be direct (without being rude). My inlaws pulled this once when I was pregnant -- making a small amount of food and then expressing shock when I was still hungry and ate a Kind bar I'd packed. I told them "sorry, I'm pregnant, I need to eat more and I'd appreciate if you don't comment on it. Thanks."

Isn't it amazing for you that they respected the boundary starting there? How nice for you.

Yes, it is. I don't put up with being treated like crap. I stand up for myself whether that's with family, friends, or at work. I'm polite but I'm not afraid to be direct. I'll apologize if I'm in the wrong or if I need to take responsibility for a mistake -- mine or a subordinate's -- but I'm not cringing or servile and I will correct someone who treats me that way. When I worked in biglaw other associates would tell me that they were terrified of partner so-and-so or would vomit from stress in the morning because of so-and-so's demands and attitude. I worked for the same people and I hated working for them but I didn't put up with being demeaned. If you can't tell your family or inlaws that you plan to feed yourself, you need to work on your backbone.

You're kind of buzz-killing the whole fun of this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:out of curiosity - why is there no food in the house? frugality? control? poor meal planning?

It's a control thing

[Anonymous]

Just as a word of warning- I did this one year but mailed it to my inlaws (long cross country try flight and two babies made bringing this in my luggage impossible). It arrived hours before I did, and my anorexic mother in law (under 100 pounds and 5’8, in her mid 50s), THREW IT AWAY.

I found the two bottled of wine I had sent in their fridge. And they don’t live in a neighborhood where packages get stolen.

So remember to mail it the day you leave and receive it yourself so your crazy inlaws don’t get to it first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just as a word of warning- I did this one year but mailed it to my inlaws (long cross country try flight and two babies made bringing this in my luggage impossible). It arrived hours before I did, and my anorexic mother in law (under 100 pounds and 5’8, in her mid 50s), THREW IT AWAY.

I found the two bottled of wine I had sent in their fridge. And they don’t live in a neighborhood where packages get stolen.

So remember to mail it the day you leave and receive it yourself so your crazy inlaws don’t get to it first.

Oh wow, that is unbelievable. Especially not even attempting to hide it because she kept the wine, it sounds like she wasn't even embarrassed by it. Ugh is all I can say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just as a word of warning- I did this one year but mailed it to my inlaws (long cross country try flight and two babies made bringing this in my luggage impossible). It arrived hours before I did, and my anorexic mother in law (under 100 pounds and 5’8, in her mid 50s), THREW IT AWAY.

I found the two bottled of wine I had sent in their fridge. And they don’t live in a neighborhood where packages get stolen.

So remember to mail it the day you leave and receive it yourself so your crazy inlaws don’t get to it first.

OP here. I am heeding this warning! It also feels more "mine" when I bring it into the house myself and say "I brought this for everyone to enjoy."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In case it is helpful as we head into the holidays, here is my solution from last year's "there's never any food in my ILs' house" conundrum:

I bought myself a huge basket of Harry and David treats, said "I won it in a work raffle," and brought it with me "for everyone to enjoy while we're together."

So it was my food, but it was open to all, and it basically couldn't be denied to me or my family. I brought a big stack of paper plates and cocktail napkins. I brought a mini-cooler to keep the sausage and cheese in once those were opened, and kept it on the back porch. It was foolproof and held up against all protests.

So if "the kitchen is closed" or "we're not having lunch today," there was always something around that we had complete access to.

Hope this helps!

Even meets the healthy piece of fruit in the backyard test. Way to go!

Don't forget "delicious" fruit!

[Anonymous]

To the OP: You sound like a great person to be around. You have a great personality that comes out in your writing. Merry Christmas!

[Anonymous]

Great thread. Where there's a will, there's a way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Awesome! We've done poptarts, granola bars and snack mix and kept it in our room for DH and the kids. Milk is the hardest because my kids just about go through a 1/2 gallon a day. Inlaws don't have room in their fridge and will buy 1/2 gallon for the week.

Ha! So funny! My ILs do this too- with three milk-drinking teenagers, they seem surprised that the half gallon of milk does not last more than a morning. I do think FIL enjoys “the need” to head out to the store. I just am confused about the look of shock and “oh, are we out of milk already?” When it happens every day of the four we are all together. Husband offers to go, but ILs refuse.

The milk thing is especially annoying. We have a baby, and last time we went to ILs I had my husband ask in advance if they had milk (there is NEVER any room in my MIL’s refrigerator, so I hate to bring anything unless it’s necessary). “Yes, I have milk”she told him. We get there, and there’s buttermilk, and half of a quart of skim milk. WTF. “I didn’t say I had whole milk” is her response. So fing PA. This time I’m not even asking. I’m bring our own milk. “Find a place in the fridge for it, Karen.”