School called me to clean my daughter up because of an accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering if OP comes from a culture where 5 year olds are not considered to be school aged like we do here (in some cultures kids this age can be somewhat infantilized), so she thinks it's typical for a 5 year old in Kindergarten to have accidents like this.

I have kindergarten students whose parents have always pulled their pants up. They will come out of the bathroom with their pants around their ankles and their hands in the air. It definitely is a cultural thing. These are the same students whose moms come in to feed them at lunch (like baby birds, according to my colleague).

Are you talking about redshirting? I am an immigrant and I have only seen it here.

In my culture, kids are potty trained at a very young age and potty accidents are rare. Also, kids are not allowed out of house to begin their day unless they have gone potty, brushed their teeth, taken a shower and had their breakfast.

I worked as a paraeducator at an ES, and I was shocked to see many children who come to school straight from bed, with dirty rumpled clothes, crusty eyes, uncombed hair and hungry. They also had to go and poop after they ate their free breakfast at school because they did not take care of their basic toileting needs before they came to school.

Not everyone can plan when they need to poop and pee. Yes, some kids come into school poorly dressed and umcombed hair but that's on the parents, not kids at ES age. And, not all families can afford food and rely on free breakfasts. Be grateful you don't have to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she being abused or sexually abused at home? Loss of control of bladder and bowel movement in a young ES student is sometimes a symptom of mental, physical or sexual abuse and neglect.

As a teacher, this would be my concern. It is not normal for a kindergarten to pee and poop in her pants.

As a teacher you have serious issues with reading comprehension. She had no accidents before. You are actually jumping to abuse because the kid pooped and peed one time? Sorry, but you suck.

As a teacher, you also don't know your job very well.

Many K students have accidents (that is why you bring in extra clothes) and some are just nervous to do it in a public restroom without their mom or dad. Some hold it in and that is what causes accidents. Some get anxiety, some have diarrhea, some are constipated, and others are so excited or nervous they forget to go. How about food poisoning. Some are told no when they ask one time and never ask again. I could think of at least 100 situations before I jump to getting abused.

I hope your are not in my kid's school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, to OP Mom from a school clinic tech;

We are not allowed to even store changes of clothes, to include new underwear, in our clinics. A potty accident at least at my school is handled through the classroom teacher and front office. So if a student past second grade(lots of teachers in K-1) make students have one extra stored outfit)wets their pants you the parent get a call to bring a change of clothes. Huge waste of time for everyone.

As PPs said techs can’t get involved with cleaning up biohazards, or changing diapers or assisting a child with hanging clothes. It’s a biohazard and we collectively don’t have the training or specialized sterile environment. Privacy and safety issue, too. Think of the litigation if I stripped a child of his clothes (I’m female) in a school bathroom.

Think this through, OP. Parents like you make me angry.

My 1st grader sharted last year in school. I got a courtesy call from the clinic assistant that she had provided my daughter wipes and a new pair of underwear and that she was fine and back in class. I offered to come get my daughter and was told she was fine and that was not necessary. A few days later I dropped off a new pack of target underwear for their "stock" and she was appreciative as she says this is fairly common.

This is a public elementary by the way.

Sounds like your 1st grader wiped herself up and was fine. Maybe OP's daughter had diarrhea or was just too messy to just use a few wipes. Unless the school provided flushable wipes, you can't put baby wpes down the toilet.

[Anonymous]

Gross.

My kids never had an accident in Kindergarten or beyond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would assume that a kid who doesn't usually have accidents but had a poop one probably has a stomach bug and should go home just for that.

+1 Especially if it was loose and messy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This her first year in school, we did not do preschool. She does not have accidents at home, and hasn’t for years. According to to the teacher, she encourages my DD to try and DD refuses. I talked to her tonight about how she has to try when the teacher tells her to, and she said okay. She did mention there is a boy at her table who laughs at her, and then mentioned another girl who rushes/pushes her when walking down the steps(she does not like stairs) So there definitely could be some anxiety.

-OP

So she went straight from a nanny to kindergarten? She didn't even do half day preschool? You did a great disservice by not preparing her for school. Your poor child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:During music class my daughter had a pee and poop accident. The school called and said that she was too messy and they I would need to come clean her up and honestly it might be best if I we just took her home for her a bath. She in K. I’m really upset that I had to leave work to come get her for what is a very normal accident for a 5yr old. And just to be clear, she had extra clothes in her bag. If this happened often, I would understand, but this is the first time she had a poop accident at school.

The accident is not the big issue. The bolded is. This reminds me of my mother. I vividly remember when she was called to come and get me because I was not feeling well in first grade. She bitched me out and complained the whole way home. First grade. She never attended a school event (ever) complained non-stop about having to buy us clothing, school supplies, and food. Fun times. We were upper middle class.

I NEVER went to her if I had problems. I solved them myself, even huge problems. But not always in a great way. Actually, I never went to anyone for help. I figured if my own mother saw me as a pain in the ass, why would anybody else want to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not normal for a NT 5 yo. Do you mean she has had other pee accidents? Really not not normal at all. Is she SN? You might need to add a plan to her IEP if this is a regular occurrence.

Just because the child has a couple of accidents in a new environment that just happens be more stressful and more rigid than she's used to doesn't mean that the kid is SN or needs an IEP. Plenty of K kids have pee accidents. Its not that uncommon as many of you are making it out to be. We don't know what the kid was doing when this happened or what transpired during the day that could have led to this situation. Op, that's definitely you need to do. Pooping one's pants at this age does seem a little out of the ordinary.

Some schools restrict when even K kids can go to the bathroom. That can be too restrictive for some kids, particularly ones on the younger end of the spectrum. Specials Teachers don't know kids as well as homeroom teachers do and may not know that certain kids need to go when they say they need to go and they shouldn't be made to wait. My youngest had a Specials Teacher that didn't like him because she thought that he was a class clown. When he told her he had to go pee, according to the teacher, she didn't let him go because they were about to transition to another class. She didn't that he's one of the kids that when they tell that they have to go, they have already waited too long and really have to go. He had an accident because she wouldn't let him go to the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering if OP comes from a culture where 5 year olds are not considered to be school aged like we do here (in some cultures kids this age can be somewhat infantilized), so she thinks it's typical for a 5 year old in Kindergarten to have accidents like this.

I have kindergarten students whose parents have always pulled their pants up. They will come out of the bathroom with their pants around their ankles and their hands in the air. It definitely is a cultural thing. These are the same students whose moms come in to feed them at lunch (like baby birds, according to my colleague).

Are you talking about redshirting? I am an immigrant and I have only seen it here.

In my culture, kids are potty trained at a very young age and potty accidents are rare. Also, kids are not allowed out of house to begin their day unless they have gone potty, brushed their teeth, taken a shower and had their breakfast.

I worked as a paraeducator at an ES, and I was shocked to see many children who come to school straight from bed, with dirty rumpled clothes, crusty eyes, uncombed hair and hungry. They also had to go and poop after they ate their free breakfast at school because they did not take care of their basic toileting needs before they came to school.

Not everyone can plan when they need to poop and pee. Yes, some kids come into school poorly dressed and umcombed hair but that's on the parents, not kids at ES age. And, not all families can afford food and rely on free breakfasts. Be grateful you don't have to.

These were kids who were fairly well to do and did not need the free breakfast. Most of the kids who were in need of free meals were actually parented better and were neatly dressed and clean. The school gave free breakfast to everyone in the classroom and if you did not want to eat, you could turn it down. There were kids there who were clearly neglected and it showed in the care that their parents took in sending them to school.

Unfortunately, those days we could not say anything, but now we can report them for neglect.

[Anonymous]

OP, is this your biological child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she being abused or sexually abused at home? Loss of control of bladder and bowel movement in a young ES student is sometimes a symptom of mental, physical or sexual abuse and neglect.

DID YOU NOT READ THE FIRST POST YOU TWIT? She hasn't had any accidents for years. One pee and poop and you go to abuse? #stopthefearmongering

DP. This is actually more reason to be concerned - She wasn’t having accidents but now is.

[Anonymous]

My DS was very reluctant to use the bathroom away from home or daycare, particularly for bowels (sorry, I have never gotten used to "pee" and "poop" being part of public vocabulary--this did not happen before Dr. House!). I think he had one accident in the early grades, possibly K--but at the time we still had half day K.

OP, might not hurt to talk to the school nurse, assuming one is in the building, for suggestions. I don't think it's the teacher's role to be monitoring kids' bowel movements but if she is very uncomfortable going into the school bathroom this should be explored--and is more the issue that you having to leave work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she being abused or sexually abused at home? Loss of control of bladder and bowel movement in a young ES student is sometimes a symptom of mental, physical or sexual abuse and neglect.

DID YOU NOT READ THE FIRST POST YOU TWIT? She hasn't had any accidents for years. One pee and poop and you go to abuse? #stopthefearmongering

DP. This is actually more reason to be concerned - She wasn’t having accidents but now is.

Or maybe it's about the adjustment to kindergarten. I remember a gusher I had in grade 1 --first year of all day school, we even had bathroom in the classroom (up until grade 3!) but I was too shy to raise hand/ask/get up and walk to the bathroom. Even worse, I was in reading circle in front of the entire class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering if OP comes from a culture where 5 year olds are not considered to be school aged like we do here (in some cultures kids this age can be somewhat infantilized), so she thinks it's typical for a 5 year old in Kindergarten to have accidents like this.

I have kindergarten students whose parents have always pulled their pants up. They will come out of the bathroom with their pants around their ankles and their hands in the air. It definitely is a cultural thing. These are the same students whose moms come in to feed them at lunch (like baby birds, according to my colleague).

It’s a lazy parenting thing. Teach your kid some life skills already! Hang out with more kids if all ages so you don’t mentally normalize infantile behavior for your big kid! Ignorance serves no one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If spouse earns 8-10x whatever then surely he has the clout to step out for a couple hours for a family emergency.

Sheesh, that's why I worked my butt off before having kids. also make 7 figures. Family first, full stop. Clients can wait, team can cover, calls reschedule. BFD. I feel sorry for people who feel they can't move an hour of work around.

DH is a surgeon and his surgeries can last all day so no, he can’t move an hour of work around.

He’s also not shift for many days of the month so should be on the call list, and first call since you work office hours. That’s what we do. See ya at Fairfax innova.