My sister is marrying a non-Jew. Help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Judaism is about bloodlines
Purity of the bloodlines is more important

Sound a whole lot like the certain dictatorships of the past.

Yes, this is so bizarre to me.

The idea that Jewish identity has a family history component to it was present before Hitler was alive. Just because he and other white supremacists exploited it to justify genocide does not mean it is not part of Jewish identity for SOME Jews.

Well there is something called conversion. Those Jews have bloodlines that aren’t Jewish.

Converts are not always accepted

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Judaism is about bloodlines
Purity of the bloodlines is more important

Sound a whole lot like the certain dictatorships of the past.

Yes, this is so bizarre to me.

The idea that Jewish identity has a family history component to it was present before Hitler was alive. Just because he and other white supremacists exploited it to justify genocide does not mean it is not part of Jewish identity for SOME Jews.

Well there is something called conversion. Those Jews have bloodlines that aren’t Jewish.

Converts are not always accepted


That thinking, in principle, is the same as the slogan yelled by those fine young men holding tiki torches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Judaism is about bloodlines
Purity of the bloodlines is more important

Sound a whole lot like the certain dictatorships of the past.

Yes, this is so bizarre to me.

The idea that Jewish identity has a family history component to it was present before Hitler was alive. Just because he and other white supremacists exploited it to justify genocide does not mean it is not part of Jewish identity for SOME Jews.

Well there is something called conversion. Those Jews have bloodlines that aren’t Jewish.

Converts are not always accepted


That thinking, in principle, is the same as the slogan yelled by those fine young men holding tiki torches.



Again, just because white supremacists have exploited the bloodline aspect of Jewish identity does NOT mean it isn't a legitimate part of what it means to be Jewish for many Jews. The Jewish community is an ethno-religious community. As such, most rabbis consider someone Jewish if they have Jewish ancestry, even if they're not practicing. People can convert (though I don't know if they can convert to being an Orthodox Jew), but the ethnic/familial history part of the identity is there and is cherished by many Jews, despite how Hitler and other hateful people exploited it to justify genocide.

[Anonymous]

Do you only go to Orthodox Jewish weddings? I didn't know you weren't allowed to go to other kinds of weddings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP hasn’t once come back.

This is definitely a troll.

Seems like it.

[Anonymous]

You should rethink this thing you bought into if it makes you foresake your own sister. Sounds cult-like.

[Anonymous]

If you were my sister your invite would be courtesy only.

Your religious beliefs are more important to you tjan your sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Judaism is about bloodlines
Purity of the bloodlines is more important

Sound a whole lot like the certain dictatorships of the past.

Yes, this is so bizarre to me.

The idea that Jewish identity has a family history component to it was present before Hitler was alive. Just because he and other white supremacists exploited it to justify genocide does not mean it is not part of Jewish identity for SOME Jews.

Well there is something called conversion. Those Jews have bloodlines that aren’t Jewish.

Converts are not always accepted

That thinking, in principle, is the same as the slogan yelled by those fine young men holding tiki torches.



Again, just because white supremacists have exploited the bloodline aspect of Jewish identity does NOT mean it isn't a legitimate part of what it means to be Jewish for many Jews. The Jewish community is an ethno-religious community. As such, most rabbis consider someone Jewish if they have Jewish ancestry, even if they're not practicing. People can convert (though I don't know if they can convert to being an Orthodox Jew), but the ethnic/familial history part of the identity is there and is cherished by many Jews, despite how Hitler and other hateful people exploited it to justify genocide.

Um, yes people can convert to being orthodox Jew's. The fact you don't know this, with all due respect, makes your points and focus on bloodlines to be taken with less seriousness (as it should be). Did Judaism start out km a more.clan based culture? Yes. Has there been significant changes since then? Yes, through most of Jewish history.
On a spiritual level, there is a common story/belief that 'all Jews, past present and future' were at mt Sinai for the revealation of the Torah. That is regardless of bloodline.
(there is a focus and pride in one's history but it is really not about bloodline)
Now, in truth, there is a small community of Syrian Jews that don't accept converts and rely only in bloodlones (they only marry within their own community too). But for the rest of the Jewish people, converts are accepted and are not to be reminded of their status/remind others of their status. Now, there r lots of politics about conversion etc. But please take with a grain of salt what this mostly uninformed poster writes.

Qualification : doctorate level study in Jewish history and an active member of Jewish communities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Judaism is about bloodlines
Purity of the bloodlines is more important

Sound a whole lot like the certain dictatorships of the past.

Yes, this is so bizarre to me.

The idea that Jewish identity has a family history component to it was present before Hitler was alive. Just because he and other white supremacists exploited it to justify genocide does not mean it is not part of Jewish identity for SOME Jews.

Well there is something called conversion. Those Jews have bloodlines that aren’t Jewish.

Converts are not always accepted

That thinking, in principle, is the same as the slogan yelled by those fine young men holding tiki torches.

Again, just because white supremacists have exploited the bloodline aspect of Jewish identity does NOT mean it isn't a legitimate part of what it means to be Jewish for many Jews. The Jewish community is an ethno-religious community. As such, most rabbis consider someone Jewish if they have Jewish ancestry, even if they're not practicing. People can convert (though I don't know if they can convert to being an Orthodox Jew), but the ethnic/familial history part of the identity is there and is cherished by many Jews, despite how Hitler and other hateful people exploited it to justify genocide.

Um, yes people can convert to being orthodox Jew's. The fact you don't know this, with all due respect, makes your points and focus on bloodlines to be taken with less seriousness (as it should be). Did Judaism start out km a more.clan based culture? Yes. Has there been significant changes since then? Yes, through most of Jewish history.
On a spiritual level, there is a common story/belief that 'all Jews, past present and future' were at mt Sinai for the revealation of the Torah. That is regardless of bloodline.
(there is a focus and pride in one's history but it is really not about bloodline)
Now, in truth, there is a small community of Syrian Jews that don't accept converts and rely only in bloodlones (they only marry within their own community too). But for the rest of the Jewish people, converts are accepted and are not to be reminded of their status/remind others of their status. Now, there r lots of politics about conversion etc. But please take with a grain of salt what this mostly uninformed poster writes.

Qualification : doctorate level study in Jewish history and an active member of Jewish communities

I am wondering how someone can be discussing these matters withot realizing that conversion to Orthodox Judaism is possible (and indeed there are issues and controversies because many Orthodox Jews recognize only Orthodox conversions).

I would point out that the argument behind the Syrians not accepting converts is not that they reject them in principle, but that early in the last century many would be converts were insincere (or so it is claimed) and their leaders decided to simply not recognize any further conversions as valid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Judaism is about bloodlines
Purity of the bloodlines is more important

Sound a whole lot like the certain dictatorships of the past.

Yes, this is so bizarre to me.

The idea that Jewish identity has a family history component to it was present before Hitler was alive. Just because he and other white supremacists exploited it to justify genocide does not mean it is not part of Jewish identity for SOME Jews.

Well there is something called conversion. Those Jews have bloodlines that aren’t Jewish.

Converts are not always accepted

That thinking, in principle, is the same as the slogan yelled by those fine young men holding tiki torches.

Again, just because white supremacists have exploited the bloodline aspect of Jewish identity does NOT mean it isn't a legitimate part of what it means to be Jewish for many Jews. The Jewish community is an ethno-religious community. As such, most rabbis consider someone Jewish if they have Jewish ancestry, even if they're not practicing. People can convert (though I don't know if they can convert to being an Orthodox Jew), but the ethnic/familial history part of the identity is there and is cherished by many Jews, despite how Hitler and other hateful people exploited it to justify genocide.

Um, yes people can convert to being orthodox Jew's. The fact you don't know this, with all due respect, makes your points and focus on bloodlines to be taken with less seriousness (as it should be). Did Judaism start out km a more.clan based culture? Yes. Has there been significant changes since then? Yes, through most of Jewish history.
On a spiritual level, there is a common story/belief that 'all Jews, past present and future' were at mt Sinai for the revealation of the Torah. That is regardless of bloodline.
(there is a focus and pride in one's history but it is really not about bloodline)
Now, in truth, there is a small community of Syrian Jews that don't accept converts and rely only in bloodlones (they only marry within their own community too). But for the rest of the Jewish people, converts are accepted and are not to be reminded of their status/remind others of their status. Now, there r lots of politics about conversion etc. But please take with a grain of salt what this mostly uninformed poster writes.

Qualification : doctorate level study in Jewish history and an active member of Jewish communities

I am wondering how someone can be discussing these matters withot realizing that conversion to Orthodox Judaism is possible (and indeed there are issues and controversies because many Orthodox Jews recognize only Orthodox conversions).

I would point out that the argument behind the Syrians not accepting converts is not that they reject them in principle, but that early in the last century many would be converts were insincere (or so it is claimed) and their leaders decided to simply not recognize any further conversions as valid.

NP. Are you the same poster who took a semester or two on Christianity at rabbinical school and now thinks she can tell Christians what they’re supposed to believe? You don’t know anywhere near as much as you think you do, and your demeanor just makes your ignorance more annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Judaism is about bloodlines
Purity of the bloodlines is more important

Sound a whole lot like the certain dictatorships of the past.

Yes, this is so bizarre to me.

The idea that Jewish identity has a family history component to it was present before Hitler was alive. Just because he and other white supremacists exploited it to justify genocide does not mean it is not part of Jewish identity for SOME Jews.

Well there is something called conversion. Those Jews have bloodlines that aren’t Jewish.

Converts are not always accepted

That thinking, in principle, is the same as the slogan yelled by those fine young men holding tiki torches.

Again, just because white supremacists have exploited the bloodline aspect of Jewish identity does NOT mean it isn't a legitimate part of what it means to be Jewish for many Jews. The Jewish community is an ethno-religious community. As such, most rabbis consider someone Jewish if they have Jewish ancestry, even if they're not practicing. People can convert (though I don't know if they can convert to being an Orthodox Jew), but the ethnic/familial history part of the identity is there and is cherished by many Jews, despite how Hitler and other hateful people exploited it to justify genocide.

Um, yes people can convert to being orthodox Jew's. The fact you don't know this, with all due respect, makes your points and focus on bloodlines to be taken with less seriousness (as it should be). Did Judaism start out km a more.clan based culture? Yes. Has there been significant changes since then? Yes, through most of Jewish history.
On a spiritual level, there is a common story/belief that 'all Jews, past present and future' were at mt Sinai for the revealation of the Torah. That is regardless of bloodline.
(there is a focus and pride in one's history but it is really not about bloodline)
Now, in truth, there is a small community of Syrian Jews that don't accept converts and rely only in bloodlones (they only marry within their own community too). But for the rest of the Jewish people, converts are accepted and are not to be reminded of their status/remind others of their status. Now, there r lots of politics about conversion etc. But please take with a grain of salt what this mostly uninformed poster writes.

Qualification : doctorate level study in Jewish history and an active member of Jewish communities

I am wondering how someone can be discussing these matters withot realizing that conversion to Orthodox Judaism is possible (and indeed there are issues and controversies because many Orthodox Jews recognize only Orthodox conversions).

I would point out that the argument behind the Syrians not accepting converts is not that they reject them in principle, but that early in the last century many would be converts were insincere (or so it is claimed) and their leaders decided to simply not recognize any further conversions as valid.

NP. Are you the same poster who took a semester or two on Christianity at rabbinical school and now thinks she can tell Christians what they’re supposed to believe? You don’t know anywhere near as much as you think you do, and your demeanor just makes your ignorance more annoying.

NP again. Was referring to the pp with the “doctoral level studies” (what does that even mean? Apparently not an actual doctorate, so must be like the MA-level classes PhDs do before the dissertation). Not to the immediate pp.

[Anonymous]

I would not go to the wedding, but have an open-door policy if they want to come over for family celebrations and holidays. I would also take my sister on a girl's trip and tell her how much I love her and will always be there for her, but that I am not coming to the wedding. Particularly with American divorce rates, we have this enormous unnecessary build up to weddings which is just ridiculous on many levels. Real family members love and respect family members' boundaries. OP has a boundary. The sister has a boundary. But it's one day in many years together. In the grand scheme of things, it's one day.

[Anonymous]

Orthodox Jews are not supposed to enter Christian Churches. https://www.thejc.com/judaism/rabbi-i-have-a-problem/is-it-forbidden-for-jews-to-enter-a-church-1.4626

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not go to the wedding, but have an open-door policy if they want to come over for family celebrations and holidays. I would also take my sister on a girl's trip and tell her how much I love her and will always be there for her, but that I am not coming to the wedding. Particularly with American divorce rates, we have this enormous unnecessary build up to weddings which is just ridiculous on many levels. Real family members love and respect family members' boundaries. OP has a boundary. The sister has a boundary. But it's one day in many years together. In the grand scheme of things, it's one day.

It’s more than just one day, and if op chooses not to go, she’s essentially terminating their relationship. If that’s her goal, fine, but I’d remind her of the old adage that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Her sister is far more likely to explore a return to her Jewish roots, for both herself and any future children, if op keeps the door of their relationship open. Shut that down, and I doubt the sister will ever want to go back to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(sympathetic C Jew again) To note the kids will be halachically Jewish (lets leave off with the "culturally Jewish" BS - the kids won't be speaking Yiddish, vaguely aware of Judaism is not "culturally Jewish") and at some point may have curiosity about Judaism. If you, OP, are involved in their lives, and can model a happy successful O life, they may be drawn either to O, or at least to some more Torah focused life.

I would also suggest you talk with an Orthodox rabbi familiar with the situation among non O in America (IE a mainstream modern O rabbi, esp one familiar with BT issues) Not sure a rabbi in Israel would be a good source on the sociology, even if you follow them on halacha.

So the kids are only worth being involved with if they are "halachically" Jewish through the mother? Such bullsh*t reasoning is why the numbers of Jews will decrease in the U.S. My son is not "halachically" Jewish because I (the mom) am not, but I make a lot of effort to educate him and expose him to the faith. If what you're intending is to alienate Jews and decrease your numbers, good job.

Good for you. However halachically Jewish kids will find an easier path to traditional Judaism, especially given that in this case the Jewish parent is an atheist so they will not be educated as Jews.

And that matters, why? Being obsessed with the gender of the Jewish parent only makes the child less likely to find their way to traditional Judaism, because it's so arbitrary. The only reason the path is easier for the halachically Jewish kid is because you discriminated against the non-halachic kid based solely on the gender of the Jewish parent.

You are correct. Interfaith marriages are the reason that Reform Judaism is dying out. While I think the OP is wrong if she doesn’t attend her sidter’s wedding, statistics show that there is a significant chance that her future nieces and nephews will not raise Jewish children.

You're ignoring the point: if Jewish congregations (of all types) were more welcoming to intermarriage and half-Jewish children, then numbers would grow.

On the contrary, Reform, reconstructionist and even conservative synagogues have bent over backwards to welcome everyone and anyone to keep their numbers strong to no avail. Interfaith marriages, same sex marriages, adoption without conversion. It’s not lack of acceptance. It’s the fact that these places of worship lack any seblance to actual religion.

+1. When a religion asks literally nothing of you, it gives nothing back. These liberal denominations are not spiritually nourishing. I’ve seen this among Christians, as well. (I’m Christian.). I went to a ridiculously “welcoming” UU congregation and it was a spiritual sh*tshow. I left (quietly and respectfully) and multiple board members kept basically asking me why I left and how they could “improve.” It’s like a Burger King at these places: “Have it your way!” The food still sucks.