My sister is marrying a non-Jew. Help?
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Anonymous
Loving each other unconditionally means disapproving of a sister’s choices but still celebrating an important life in her day. Don’t compare this situation to ill planned destination weddings. This is way more than that. |
Anonymous
+1 Accepting someone unconditionally means just that - unconditionally. Not attending their wedding because you disapprove of their spouse's religion is the very definition of a condition. |
Anonymous
Yikes That is rude Especially the way you worded it. Religion makes people blind |
Anonymous
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Everything in your post, OP, is about you. Not supporting your sister who you claim to love, goes against the good teachings of love and selflessness in all religions. Not one word about your future brother in law. Is he kind? Does he treat your sister well? He may be an amazing partner and father. Isn't that what you wish for her?
She will marry him, regardless. You disapprove based on religion. It's a controlling, power trip sprinkled with sanctimonious. I'd rather not have you at my wedding, if you were my sister. You'll make it all about you, your disapproval and how you set aside your strict beliefs...blah bla blah. Acceptance, forgiveness, compassion and love are the cornerstones of true faith. This is pure pettiness. You'll forsake your sister in the name of religion. Yeh, too much of that happening in the world with dire consequences. Be nice, attend and carry on. |
Anonymous
| Don’t go. It is one day. She will get over it if she is an adult and loves you. She is also entitled not to come to one of your life cycle events without it being the end of the world. Family doesn’t need to fake it for each other. Trying to make you go is weird and controlling. |
Anonymous
| Is OP the older sister or younger? |
Anonymous
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Go to the wedding.
If you don't go to the wedding you could be creating a wedge between you forever. You are her sister too and she will always remember that you were not there for her on what is an important occasion for her. Your sister doesn't believe/follow your observance of Judaism. How would you feel if the situation was reversed? |
Anonymous
Why does the "she will get over it if she's an adult and loves you" not apply to OP but apparently applies to the sister? Why can't OP get over the intermarriage if she is an adult and loves her sister? |
Anonymous
+100. OP is the definition of self-centered. I assume your sister and your parents didn't disapprove when you became more religious? Why can't you do the same for them? |
Anonymous
+1. It’s all about OP. If she does go to the wedding, though, she’ll choose a back table at the reception and say cr@ppy things about the new husband and his background, so I don’t know which is worse. |
Anonymous
OP doesn’t have to go to the wedding - she’s entitled to live her truth. OP’s sister doesn’t have to wear a wig and come over for Pesach. Neither sibling is right or wrong - and trying to shame OP into going is pretty gross. |
Anonymous
DP here and oh, I bet they did. Not that two wrongs make a right, etc. But it would not be at all unheard of for family to disapprove of someone becoming more religious. |
Anonymous
Shaye I.D. Cohen: Samuel Ungerleider Professor of Judaic Studies and Professor of Religious Studies Brown University Was Jesus Jewish and, if he was, how would that have influenced his experiences as a young man growing up in Galilee? Was Jesus a Jew? Of course, Jesus was a Jew. He was born of a Jewish mother, in Galilee, a Jewish part of the world. All of his friends, associates, colleagues, disciples, all of them were Jews. He regularly worshipped in Jewish communal worship, what we call synagogues. He preached from Jewish text, from the Bible. He celebrated the Jewish festivals. He went on pilgrimage to the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem where he was under the authority of priests.... He lived, was born, lived, died, taught as a Jew. This is obvious to any casual reader of the gospel text. What's striking is not so much that he was a Jew but that the gospels make no pretense that he wasn't. The gospels have no sense yet that Jesus was anything other than a Jew. The gospels don't even have a sense that he came to found a new religion, an idea completely foreign to all the gospel text, and completely foreign to Paul. That is an idea which comes about only later. So, to say that he was a Jew is saying a truism, is simply stating an idea that is so obvious on the face of it, one wonders it even needs to be said. But, of course, it does need to be said because we all know what happens later in the story, where it turns out that Christianity becomes something other than Judaism and as a result, Jesus in retrospect is seen not as a Jew, but as something else, as a founder of Christianity. But, of course, he was a Jew. |
Anonymous
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My cousin's mother is not Jewish. He went on a birthright trip to Israel and he said he felt at home there. At a family gathering he talked about how great it is being more religious, not eating pork, keeping milk and meat separate, not doing anything on Saturdays, etc. Mind you his grandmother (my mom’s aunt) always shunned her Jewish heritage.
My sister and I on the other hand have both Jewish parents. We are not practicing Jews. We both eat pork, celebrate secular Christmas, eat bread on Passover. I am a cultural Jew. I celebrate the secular aspects of Rosh Hashanah and Passover, which is mainly having a party, but that's it. My mom did send us to a Jewish after-school program so we could learn more about Judaism, she goes to the synagogue regularly, and my parents don't eat pork. My grandma always reminded us we're Jewish. I have been to the synagogue a couple of times and my mom has a lot of friends there. Ultimately I decided I am agnostic. I do believe in god but I don't believe in organized religion. I never found anything appealing about practicing or something purely for the sake of religion. My fiancé comes from a Jewish background and is agnostic. We are still cultural Jews so we did the Hava Nagila at our engagement party, but we don't plan to raise our kids Jewish or with any religion for that matter. |
Anonymous
Jesus was a Jewish settler. Gallillee was historically inhabited by the northern tribes. Gad, Naphtali, etc. Jesus's family per the gospels was from the tribe of Judah, a southern tribe. What were they doing in the Galillee? Well the northern tribes were all exiled by the Assyrians, and never came back. In the period of Babylonian and Persian rule the area was inhabited by gentiles. When the Hasmoneans conquered it, they settled Judeans (of the tribe of Judah) in the Gallillee. By modern terms, those folk were "settlers" Now you might point out that Jesus's mother was born in the Gallillee, his family was there for several generations. But in modern political discourse a Jew born in the settlements is still a "settler". |