ILs sleeping in master while staying to watch kids?

[Anonymous]

I think so much of this is the values you hold / learned growing up.

In our family, the older couple (grandoarents) were always given the most comfortable bed. It was just part of what you did for older guests. You went out of your way to make them comfortable. Part of a respecting your elders type value mindset.

Many people have their worst beds in their guest rooms as they are rarely used. They are pull out sofas, old or hard mattresses, just generally not as comfortable.

[Anonymous]

We have a very nice guest room so it's not an issue. If we didn't the MBR would be fine but I would remove a few things from the night table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a sign of respect to offer your best to your guests, especially your elders. I am having a hard time with all of these narcissistic posts. Who are you people that you won't offer your bed to your parents? Sad, very sad.

So every time your parents visit, you clear off your dresser and night stands for them, and move all your toiletries and stuff to the guest room to use for yourself, and then move it all back again after they leave, instead of just offering them the empty guest bedroom?

YES!

I forgot to add the following. We also: clear space in the closet, pull out three luggage racks, put out a basket of toiletries in the bathroom, put flowers on the nightstands, pull out a basket of little amenities (bottles of water, chocolates, little flashlight, alarm clock, 2-3 books, extra chargers, new ear buds, etc) that we put out on a side table, put the remote control and cable guide where they can find it, … These are just the things I can think off of the top of my head.

They are our parents, for crying out loud!!! Of course, we go the extra mile. Get this: we even do the same thing for my husband's two great-aunts, who are widows who come to visit every few months, and who prefer sleeping together on the larger master bed than the queen in the guest room.

Ummm, maybe it's time for you to just move yourself into the guest bedroom and be done with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think so much of this is the values you hold / learned growing up.

In our family, the older couple (grandoarents) were always given the most comfortable bed. It was just part of what you did for older guests. You went out of your way to make them comfortable. Part of a respecting your elders type value mindset.

Many people have their worst beds in their guest rooms as they are rarely used. They are pull out sofas, old or hard mattresses, just generally not as comfortable.

Why not put a comfortable bed in all of your rooms? Why should anyone in your house being sleeping on truly uncomfortable mattresses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is a sign of respect to offer your best to your guests, especially your elders. I am having a hard time with all of these narcissistic posts. Who are you people that you won't offer your bed to your parents? Sad, very sad.

+1 there’s a lot of people on this thread who weren’t raised to value others...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a sign of respect to offer your best to your guests, especially your elders. I am having a hard time with all of these narcissistic posts. Who are you people that you won't offer your bed to your parents? Sad, very sad.

+1 there’s a lot of people on this thread who weren’t raised to value others...

If someone is booting another person out of their own bedroom so that they can have the comfortable bed....who exactly is that person valuing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you want to stay in someone else’s bedroom instead of a guest room? I don’t even like to go into other people’s bedrooms, it just feels like intruding.

That’s because it is.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

If I offered our bed to our parents we would not be sleeping on the same floor as our very young children and I am just not ok with that. I would not expect our parents to deal with any child issues that come up in the middle of the night and as our guest suite is in the basement, running up two flights of stairs to reach a vomiting child is not something I’m interested in. They are free to not visit if they have a problem with our private guest suite where they have a dedicated space and bathroom that no one else in the house uses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a sign of respect to offer your best to your guests, especially your elders. I am having a hard time with all of these narcissistic posts. Who are you people that you won't offer your bed to your parents? Sad, very sad.

+1 there’s a lot of people on this thread who weren’t raised to value others...

If someone is booting another person out of their own bedroom so that they can have the comfortable bed....who exactly is that person valuing?

oP isn’t being booted out of her bed. She is on vacation with her spouse. Something that is possible because her in-laws are staying at her house and watching her kids for free. Not letting them have the room that they find more comfortable shows that she does not value them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a sign of respect to offer your best to your guests, especially your elders. I am having a hard time with all of these narcissistic posts. Who are you people that you won't offer your bed to your parents? Sad, very sad.

+1 there’s a lot of people on this thread who weren’t raised to value others...

If someone is booting another person out of their own bedroom so that they can have the comfortable bed....who exactly is that person valuing?

oP isn’t being booted out of her bed. She is on vacation with her spouse. Something that is possible because her in-laws are staying at her house and watching her kids for free. Not letting them have the room that they find more comfortable shows that she does not value them.

Providing a nice guest room for her parents does, in fact, show that she cares about their comfort. If something about the room is not pleasing to her parents, they need to communicate what they dislike about it so that Op can fix it. I can totally see why Op and her dh are not happy with idea of someone else staying in their bedroom. Some people value their privacy and an intrusion like that would be very uncomfortable to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a sign of respect to offer your best to your guests, especially your elders. I am having a hard time with all of these narcissistic posts. Who are you people that you won't offer your bed to your parents? Sad, very sad.

+1 there’s a lot of people on this thread who weren’t raised to value others...

If someone is booting another person out of their own bedroom so that they can have the comfortable bed....who exactly is that person valuing?

oP isn’t being booted out of her bed. She is on vacation with her spouse. Something that is possible because her in-laws are staying at her house and watching her kids for free. Not letting them have the room that they find more comfortable shows that she does not value them.

Providing a nice guest room for her parents does, in fact, show that she cares about their comfort. If something about the room is not pleasing to her parents, they need to communicate what they dislike about it so that Op can fix it. I can totally see why Op and her dh are not happy with idea of someone else staying in their bedroom. Some people value their privacy and an intrusion like that would be very uncomfortable to them.

Op already said her ILs don’t find the bedroom comfortable enough. If OP values her privacy over their comfort then she doesn’t have the appropriate value system in place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a nice guest room with a queen bed and attached bath. One spouse thinks it’s weird for ILs, who are coming for a few nights to watch the kids while we go out of town, to sleep in our master bed while we’re gone when we have a perfectly comfortable guest space for them to use. The other spouse thinks it’s ok to let them sleep in their preferred room/bed (the master) and be more comfortable with a big TV, better attached bath, quieter/further from the kids, etc while we’re away and they’re watching the kids. To be fair, these are ILs who generally cross boundaries and make themselves very comfortable in our house, too much so for both of us at times. We are both willing to compromise but the spouse who thinks it’s weird will be annoyed to have them in our bed. Who should give in?

One of you, probably you, is an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I offered our bed to our parents we would not be sleeping on the same floor as our very young children and I am just not ok with that. I would not expect our parents to deal with any child issues that come up in the middle of the night and as our guest suite is in the basement, running up two flights of stairs to reach a vomiting child is not something I’m interested in. They are free to not visit if they have a problem with our private guest suite where they have a dedicated space and bathroom that no one else in the house uses.

Ok, but in Op’s Scenario, you are not home to deal with your children at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I offered our bed to our parents we would not be sleeping on the same floor as our very young children and I am just not ok with that. I would not expect our parents to deal with any child issues that come up in the middle of the night and as our guest suite is in the basement, running up two flights of stairs to reach a vomiting child is not something I’m interested in. They are free to not visit if they have a problem with our private guest suite where they have a dedicated space and bathroom that no one else in the house uses.

So you are on vacation, your parents are staying at your house to look after your kids and you would put them in the basement in the guest room where they can't see or hear the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think so much of this is the values you hold / learned growing up.

In our family, the older couple (grandoarents) were always given the most comfortable bed. It was just part of what you did for older guests. You went out of your way to make them comfortable. Part of a respecting your elders type value mindset.

Many people have their worst beds in their guest rooms as they are rarely used. They are pull out sofas, old or hard mattresses, just generally not as comfortable.

Why not put a comfortable bed in all of your rooms? Why should anyone in your house being sleeping on truly uncomfortable mattresses?

Please tell this to my MIL. We sleep on a bed that my SIL had in middle and high school. She’s now 45.