Are women constantly being harassed or does the news recently just make it feel that way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to plan my walk routes from school such that I'd have the least chance of walking past men. I'd even cross the street if I saw a group of guys on the next block. We're talking a middle school to high school.

I thought getting married (that is wearing a wedding band) would help but some men don't care. Not long ago when I was 8 months pregnant a man asked me out. I looked at my heavily pregnant belly and looked at him, like he was crazy. I told him I was married and that man happened to be father of my nearly full term baby. He persisted and said we should "run away together". I'm grateful that I haven't had any negative experiences at my place of work and I truly pray that doesn't change.

As a woman I fail to see how did this guy harass you. Did he stalk you, call you, text you, or touch you inappropriately? If yes than we can talk about harassment. What I see is that he is someone who is desperate, sad, immature, and with bad manners. If anything he is a truly sad sap, not someone to be afraid of.

I think you have a different definition of harassment and I suppose many people do. If I were being stalked I wouldn't consider that harassment...that would be, well stalking (it is a distinct crime and subject to criminal charges that are different from harassment).

Bad manners is picking your teeth at dinner and spitting on the floor. Continuing to HARASSS a woman who has told you that your actions are inappropriate is just that: harassment.

I think some of the responses reflect differences in cultural norms and social expectations. There are behaviors I find reprehensible but have dealt with because I am a human female but I certainly don't diminish the fact that such behavior is deeply problematic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. It's very wrong to generalize about all men. I think most of us are able to conduct ourselves as gentlemen. That still leaves a LOT of guys who are pigs. Some of them are so lacking in social skills that they can't attract or keep a woman and so they are always on the hunt. They scare most women away or offend them on a daily basis. Their best prospects are a drunk woman at the end of the night. But they also try the shotgun approach during the day, offending large numbers of women in the hopes that maybe one will respond positively.

These guys harass women where they work, where they shop, when they go out, even in traffic. Besides actual physical contact or any other kind of sexual assault-regardless of your definition or legal definitions-women are subjected to constant threats by men who want to treat them as little more than potential sex partners.

As far as the question, are most women constantly harassed, hell yes they are. And it pisses me off. It should really anger any decent guy because it makes women defensive about any encounter with a man she doesn't know and it's happening to our wives, friends, sisters, daughters and mothers. She has to be on guard all the time. Is the random guy going to interpret a friendly smile or conversation for flirting and try to take it to the next level? Or does she need to put up a wall right away limit her interaction with the guy so it hopefully doesn't get to that level?

Have you really talked to any women about this? A woman can barely get through the week without encountering new, or persistent offers from men who are everything from polite, to vulgar or even threatening. Us men really have no idea and the women in our lives probably spare us from hearing about most of it.

We live in a different world where constant concern for our safety is not a thing. I think nothing of going about everyday tasks like, putting gas in my car, walking through a parking lot, walking at night, or everyday interactions with other people.

If I go out with my attractive wife for a fun evening, and she dresses up for the night in a sexy dress or similar outfit, I can barely turn my back on her for a minute without guys hitting on her, if not hitting on her right in front of me. They seriously don't care. Especially as the night progresses and the drinks accumulate. Taking her out dancing is a real eye opener into what women deal with but I 'll never see most of it. At least in that situation, I can have a friendly guy to guy conversation and diffuse the situation.

The current conversations going on, stemming from Weinstein and snowballing from there are good, healthy, and about time. Seriously, this shit needs to stop and decent men are our best bet to make it stop. It's not just a woman's issue and it's not on women to solve alone. It's an issue for all of us.

Men need too talk to other men about this. Stop the boys club, or locker room mentality. It's easy to do, effective and I've done it for years. I'll isolate or even shame a guy in any group I'm a part of who acts that way and ask him to stop.

Thanks for your thoughtful post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

She told him "no," and he kept going. My kids know that if they ask once, it's fine. If they get an answer and they ask again, they're in trouble. The people raising their kids to do otherwise are making this world a shittier place to live.

I always say "no" first. Many of us are. If not for persistent courtship that resulted in a marrige I wouldn't exist (parents are still happily married).

"Persistent courtship." Now there is a euphemism. I'm not going to say it's the main part of the problem, but saying "no" as a shit-test is at least part of the problem with our current dynamic. Guys will either think they need to push a little harder *or* they'll know they are doing wrong but use the need for "persistent courtship" as a smoke screen to excuse their abusive behavior. Make sure yes means yes and no means no. Try to avoid "maybe" if you know it's yes or no, but also say "maybe" where you legitimately don't know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to plan my walk routes from school such that I'd have the least chance of walking past men. I'd even cross the street if I saw a group of guys on the next block. We're talking a middle school to high school.

I thought getting married (that is wearing a wedding band) would help but some men don't care. Not long ago when I was 8 months pregnant a man asked me out. I looked at my heavily pregnant belly and looked at him, like he was crazy. I told him I was married and that man happened to be father of my nearly full term baby. He persisted and said we should "run away together". I'm grateful that I haven't had any negative experiences at my place of work and I truly pray that doesn't change.

As a woman I fail to see how did this guy harass you. Did he stalk you, call you, text you, or touch you inappropriately? If yes than we can talk about harassment. What I see is that he is someone who is desperate, sad, immature, and with bad manners. If anything he is a truly sad sap, not someone to be afraid of.

I think you have a different definition of harassment and I suppose many people do. If I were being stalked I wouldn't consider that harassment...that would be, well stalking (it is a distinct crime and subject to criminal charges that are different from harassment).

Bad manners is picking your teeth at dinner and spitting on the floor. Continuing to HARASSS a woman who has told you that your actions are inappropriate is just that: harassment.

I think some of the responses reflect differences in cultural norms and social expectations. There are behaviors I find reprehensible but have dealt with because I am a human female but I certainly don't diminish the fact that such behavior is deeply problematic

Well, I am sure that women who undergo genital mutilation as babies in Somalia, those forced into marriage at 10-years-old in Yemen, those sold into sexual slavery in the Islamic territory, those raped by the decree of a village council in Pakistan, would not agree with you. In the most free country in the world you are trying to redefine normal human behavior into something criminal.
If words offend you, call police. Simple as that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to plan my walk routes from school such that I'd have the least chance of walking past men. I'd even cross the street if I saw a group of guys on the next block. We're talking a middle school to high school.

I thought getting married (that is wearing a wedding band) would help but some men don't care. Not long ago when I was 8 months pregnant a man asked me out. I looked at my heavily pregnant belly and looked at him, like he was crazy. I told him I was married and that man happened to be father of my nearly full term baby. He persisted and said we should "run away together". I'm grateful that I haven't had any negative experiences at my place of work and I truly pray that doesn't change.

As a woman I fail to see how did this guy harass you. Did he stalk you, call you, text you, or touch you inappropriately? If yes than we can talk about harassment. What I see is that he is someone who is desperate, sad, immature, and with bad manners. If anything he is a truly sad sap, not someone to be afraid of.

I think you have a different definition of harassment and I suppose many people do. If I were being stalked I wouldn't consider that harassment...that would be, well stalking (it is a distinct crime and subject to criminal charges that are different from harassment).

Bad manners is picking your teeth at dinner and spitting on the floor. Continuing to HARASSS a woman who has told you that your actions are inappropriate is just that: harassment.

I think some of the responses reflect differences in cultural norms and social expectations. There are behaviors I find reprehensible but have dealt with because I am a human female but I certainly don't diminish the fact that such behavior is deeply problematic

Well, I am sure that women who undergo genital mutilation as babies in Somalia, those forced into marriage at 10-years-old in Yemen, those sold into sexual slavery in the Islamic territory, those raped by the decree of a village council in Pakistan, would not agree with you. In the most free country in the world you are trying to redefine normal human behavior into something criminal.
If words offend you, call police. Simple as that.

You think suggesting to a married full-term pregnant women that you should "run away together" is normal behavior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to plan my walk routes from school such that I'd have the least chance of walking past men. I'd even cross the street if I saw a group of guys on the next block. We're talking a middle school to high school.

I thought getting married (that is wearing a wedding band) would help but some men don't care. Not long ago when I was 8 months pregnant a man asked me out. I looked at my heavily pregnant belly and looked at him, like he was crazy. I told him I was married and that man happened to be father of my nearly full term baby. He persisted and said we should "run away together". I'm grateful that I haven't had any negative experiences at my place of work and I truly pray that doesn't change.

As a woman I fail to see how did this guy harass you. Did he stalk you, call you, text you, or touch you inappropriately? If yes than we can talk about harassment. What I see is that he is someone who is desperate, sad, immature, and with bad manners. If anything he is a truly sad sap, not someone to be afraid of.

I think you have a different definition of harassment and I suppose many people do. If I were being stalked I wouldn't consider that harassment...that would be, well stalking (it is a distinct crime and subject to criminal charges that are different from harassment).


Bad manners is picking your teeth at dinner and spitting on the floor. Continuing to HARASSS a woman who has told you that your actions are inappropriate is just that: harassment.

I think some of the responses reflect differences in cultural norms and social expectations. There are behaviors I find reprehensible but have dealt with because I am a human female but I certainly don't diminish the fact that such behavior is deeply problematic

Well, I am sure that women who undergo genital mutilation as babies in Somalia, those forced into marriage at 10-years-old in Yemen, those sold into sexual slavery in the Islamic territory, those raped by the decree of a village council in Pakistan, would not agree with you. In the most free country in the world you are trying to redefine normal human behavior into something criminal.
If words offend you, call police. Simple as that.

You think suggesting to a married full-term pregnant women that you should "run away together" is normal behavior?

It indicates that he is super sad and pathetic. It indicates someone who had no role model in his life. It indicates someone who never experienced love or a normal relationship. It indicates someone who lacks morals. It indicates someone lonely and of low IQ.
He used words, right? He suggested things, right?
As far as I understood from the post he did not stalk, force, or touch the married woman. He did not force her to do anything. He did not even force her to listen to him. At all times she could have blocked his number, email, social media, etc. She could have told her husband and other people and ask them to talk to him to leave her alone. At all times she had full freedom to call police and prevent him from speaking.
There are so many options for women not to be offended by words in this most free country in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to plan my walk routes from school such that I'd have the least chance of walking past men. I'd even cross the street if I saw a group of guys on the next block. We're talking a middle school to high school.

I thought getting married (that is wearing a wedding band) would help but some men don't care. Not long ago when I was 8 months pregnant a man asked me out. I looked at my heavily pregnant belly and looked at him, like he was crazy. I told him I was married and that man happened to be father of my nearly full term baby. He persisted and said we should "run away together". I'm grateful that I haven't had any negative experiences at my place of work and I truly pray that doesn't change.

As a woman I fail to see how did this guy harass you. Did he stalk you, call you, text you, or touch you inappropriately? If yes than we can talk about harassment. What I see is that he is someone who is desperate, sad, immature, and with bad manners. If anything he is a truly sad sap, not someone to be afraid of.

I think you have a different definition of harassment and I suppose many people do. If I were being stalked I wouldn't consider that harassment...that would be, well stalking (it is a distinct crime and subject to criminal charges that are different from harassment).


Bad manners is picking your teeth at dinner and spitting on the floor. Continuing to HARASSS a woman who has told you that your actions are inappropriate is just that: harassment.

I think some of the responses reflect differences in cultural norms and social expectations. There are behaviors I find reprehensible but have dealt with because I am a human female but I certainly don't diminish the fact that such behavior is deeply problematic

Well, I am sure that women who undergo genital mutilation as babies in Somalia, those forced into marriage at 10-years-old in Yemen, those sold into sexual slavery in the Islamic territory, those raped by the decree of a village council in Pakistan, would not agree with you. In the most free country in the world you are trying to redefine normal human behavior into something criminal.
If words offend you, call police. Simple as that.

You think suggesting to a married full-term pregnant women that you should "run away together" is normal behavior?

It indicates that he is super sad and pathetic. It indicates someone who had no role model in his life. It indicates someone who never experienced love or a normal relationship. It indicates someone who lacks morals. It indicates someone lonely and of low IQ.
He used words, right? He suggested things, right?
As far as I understood from the post he did not stalk, force, or touch the married woman. He did not force her to do anything. He did not even force her to listen to him. At all times she could have blocked his number, email, social media, etc. She could have told her husband and other people and ask them to talk to him to leave her alone. At all times she had full freedom to call police and prevent him from speaking.
There are so many options for women not to be offended by words in this most free country in the world.

He approached a clearly pregnant, clearly married woman and tried to convince her to run off with him. He should never have approached her in the first place. Him approaching her is harassment. She was just going about her business, leave her the f*&k alone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to plan my walk routes from school such that I'd have the least chance of walking past men. I'd even cross the street if I saw a group of guys on the next block. We're talking a middle school to high school.

I thought getting married (that is wearing a wedding band) would help but some men don't care. Not long ago when I was 8 months pregnant a man asked me out. I looked at my heavily pregnant belly and looked at him, like he was crazy. I told him I was married and that man happened to be father of my nearly full term baby. He persisted and said we should "run away together". I'm grateful that I haven't had any negative experiences at my place of work and I truly pray that doesn't change.

As a woman I fail to see how did this guy harass you. Did he stalk you, call you, text you, or touch you inappropriately? If yes than we can talk about harassment. What I see is that he is someone who is desperate, sad, immature, and with bad manners. If anything he is a truly sad sap, not someone to be afraid of.

I think you have a different definition of harassment and I suppose many people do. If I were being stalked I wouldn't consider that harassment...that would be, well stalking (it is a distinct crime and subject to criminal charges that are different from harassment).


Bad manners is picking your teeth at dinner and spitting on the floor. Continuing to HARASSS a woman who has told you that your actions are inappropriate is just that: harassment.

I think some of the responses reflect differences in cultural norms and social expectations. There are behaviors I find reprehensible but have dealt with because I am a human female but I certainly don't diminish the fact that such behavior is deeply problematic

Well, I am sure that women who undergo genital mutilation as babies in Somalia, those forced into marriage at 10-years-old in Yemen, those sold into sexual slavery in the Islamic territory, those raped by the decree of a village council in Pakistan, would not agree with you. In the most free country in the world you are trying to redefine normal human behavior into something criminal.
If words offend you, call police. Simple as that.

You think suggesting to a married full-term pregnant women that you should "run away together" is normal behavior?

It indicates that he is super sad and pathetic. It indicates someone who had no role model in his life. It indicates someone who never experienced love or a normal relationship. It indicates someone who lacks morals. It indicates someone lonely and of low IQ.
He used words, right? He suggested things, right?
As far as I understood from the post he did not stalk, force, or touch the married woman. He did not force her to do anything. He did not even force her to listen to him. At all times she could have blocked his number, email, social media, etc. She could have told her husband and other people and ask them to talk to him to leave her alone. At all times she had full freedom to call police and prevent him from speaking.
There are so many options for women not to be offended by words in this most free country in the world.

He approached a clearly pregnant, clearly married woman and tried to convince her to run off with him. He should never have approached her in the first place. Him approaching her is harassment. She was just going about her business, leave her the f*&k alone!

I absolutely ashore him approaching her. But I also abhor people like you who want to police other people's thoughts and words. Who want to criminalize thoughts, words, and feelings. Who want to expand the definition of harassment to include free thoughts and speech, something that this country was built upon.
Honestly, I am more afraid of people like you than of a homeless guy following me.

[Anonymous]

Oh no, the thought police trope! This thread was asking women whether they were experiencing sexual harassment or whether it was a media creation. With some exceptions, the women here say it's real.

Recognizing that women are being subjected to all manner of inappropriate attention, giving them the benefit of the doubt when they complain about it, and pushing back on guys we see behaving badly is not likely to throw us into an Orwellian hellscape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to plan my walk routes from school such that I'd have the least chance of walking past men. I'd even cross the street if I saw a group of guys on the next block. We're talking a middle school to high school.

I thought getting married (that is wearing a wedding band) would help but some men don't care. Not long ago when I was 8 months pregnant a man asked me out. I looked at my heavily pregnant belly and looked at him, like he was crazy. I told him I was married and that man happened to be father of my nearly full term baby. He persisted and said we should "run away together". I'm grateful that I haven't had any negative experiences at my place of work and I truly pray that doesn't change.

As a woman I fail to see how did this guy harass you. Did he stalk you, call you, text you, or touch you inappropriately? If yes than we can talk about harassment. What I see is that he is someone who is desperate, sad, immature, and with bad manners. If anything he is a truly sad sap, not someone to be afraid of.

I think you have a different definition of harassment and I suppose many people do. If I were being stalked I wouldn't consider that harassment...that would be, well stalking (it is a distinct crime and subject to criminal charges that are different from harassment).


Bad manners is picking your teeth at dinner and spitting on the floor. Continuing to HARASSS a woman who has told you that your actions are inappropriate is just that: harassment.

I think some of the responses reflect differences in cultural norms and social expectations. There are behaviors I find reprehensible but have dealt with because I am a human female but I certainly don't diminish the fact that such behavior is deeply problematic

Well, I am sure that women who undergo genital mutilation as babies in Somalia, those forced into marriage at 10-years-old in Yemen, those sold into sexual slavery in the Islamic territory, those raped by the decree of a village council in Pakistan, would not agree with you. In the most free country in the world you are trying to redefine normal human behavior into something criminal.
If words offend you, call police. Simple as that.

You think suggesting to a married full-term pregnant women that you should "run away together" is normal behavior?

It indicates that he is super sad and pathetic. It indicates someone who had no role model in his life. It indicates someone who never experienced love or a normal relationship. It indicates someone who lacks morals. It indicates someone lonely and of low IQ.
He used words, right? He suggested things, right?
As far as I understood from the post he did not stalk, force, or touch the married woman. He did not force her to do anything. He did not even force her to listen to him. At all times she could have blocked his number, email, social media, etc. She could have told her husband and other people and ask them to talk to him to leave her alone. At all times she had full freedom to call police and prevent him from speaking.
There are so many options for women not to be offended by words in this most free country in the world.

He approached a clearly pregnant, clearly married woman and tried to convince her to run off with him. He should never have approached her in the first place. Him approaching her is harassment. She was just going about her business, leave her the f*&k alone!

I absolutely ashore him approaching her. But I also abhor people like you who want to police other people's thoughts and words. Who want to criminalize thoughts, words, and feelings. Who want to expand the definition of harassment to include free thoughts and speech, something that this country was built upon.
Honestly, I am more afraid of people like you than of a homeless guy following me.

+1 !!!!!

You do not do yourself any favors when you overplay your hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless of course, you want to work. Or shop. Or vacation. Or see the doctor.

You do realize that large portion of sexual harassment happens with men with whom you don't actively choose to engage? Hell I got followed around CVS last night while I was buying toilet paper by a homeless dude in my neighborhood. He likes to stand on the corner licking his lips and staring at me when I drink my coffee outside on the patio after a workout. Any advice on "completely cutting out" this guy? Why is the reality of what women experience so hard for people to accept?

Liberals let the insane out of the nuthouses. Not my problem.

What does that statement even mean? Noted liberal Ronald Reagan did cut funding for mental health care, but that was decades ago.

And to the woman living near the homeless guy: either move or get _your_ neighborhood's problem solved. Why are you whining here about homeless guys?

Hahaha solve the problem of homelessness in DC or buy another home. Super solutions, genius. Also follow the thread if you don't understand the context of my response.

OR call the cops. YOU brought up the subject of a homeless guy.

Now the thread is about harassment of women in general, and unfortunately a running theme is "men need to...". The problem with that is generally speaking, men don't need to do anything. Most of us, most of the time, are going about our lives and not likely to be penalized for harassing anyone. I have no realistic incentive to do anything differently.

So Charlie Rose needs to do something. "Men" don't. There isn't a meeting of all men where we decide how to behave towards women. Women need to do something because women have the problem. Lawsuits, pepper spray, boycotts, something. Now what that something is is a topic to discuss. "Men need to ..." what? Talk to homeless people or Harvey Weinstein? Not realistic.

No one thinks any blanket group needs to change. But suggesting that this is a woman's problem to solve is a cop out of the highest proportion. Do you really think that this nonsense would still exist if we could just snap our fingers and make it go away? So women around the world are staying in bad jobs, bad relationships, and altering our routes home because...we want to? Just stop. Really, stop. "Men" don't need to do anything. Men who harass, encourage harassers directly, encourage harassers with their silence, or are too clueless to understand the problem (looking at you)? You bet your ass they need to do something.

People like you who dig in on issues like this are usually doing so for very personal, very dysfunctional reasons. You're a lost cause, clearly. I don't take it personally. But you're on the wrong side with this one.

I'm not the PP, but I think women have this idea that men are constantly observing other men harassing and assaulting women, or bragging about it, and "doing nothing about it." But that has not been the case for me. I've literally never seen anything that looked like a rape, sexual assault, etc., or heard anyone bragging about anything that sounded like it. I'm not saying that it isn't a widespread problem. I'm just saying that the assumption that men are just looking the other way isn't really accurate either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to plan my walk routes from school such that I'd have the least chance of walking past men. I'd even cross the street if I saw a group of guys on the next block. We're talking a middle school to high school.

I thought getting married (that is wearing a wedding band) would help but some men don't care. Not long ago when I was 8 months pregnant a man asked me out. I looked at my heavily pregnant belly and looked at him, like he was crazy. I told him I was married and that man happened to be father of my nearly full term baby. He persisted and said we should "run away together". I'm grateful that I haven't had any negative experiences at my place of work and I truly pray that doesn't change.

As a woman I fail to see how did this guy harass you. Did he stalk you, call you, text you, or touch you inappropriately? If yes than we can talk about harassment. What I see is that he is someone who is desperate, sad, immature, and with bad manners. If anything he is a truly sad sap, not someone to be afraid of.

I think you have a different definition of harassment and I suppose many people do. If I were being stalked I wouldn't consider that harassment...that would be, well stalking (it is a distinct crime and subject to criminal charges that are different from harassment).


Bad manners is picking your teeth at dinner and spitting on the floor. Continuing to HARASSS a woman who has told you that your actions are inappropriate is just that: harassment.

I think some of the responses reflect differences in cultural norms and social expectations. There are behaviors I find reprehensible but have dealt with because I am a human female but I certainly don't diminish the fact that such behavior is deeply problematic

Well, I am sure that women who undergo genital mutilation as babies in Somalia, those forced into marriage at 10-years-old in Yemen, those sold into sexual slavery in the Islamic territory, those raped by the decree of a village council in Pakistan, would not agree with you. In the most free country in the world you are trying to redefine normal human behavior into something criminal.
If words offend you, call police. Simple as that.

You think suggesting to a married full-term pregnant women that you should "run away together" is normal behavior?

It indicates that he is super sad and pathetic. It indicates someone who had no role model in his life. It indicates someone who never experienced love or a normal relationship. It indicates someone who lacks morals. It indicates someone lonely and of low IQ.
He used words, right? He suggested things, right?
As far as I understood from the post he did not stalk, force, or touch the married woman. He did not force her to do anything. He did not even force her to listen to him. At all times she could have blocked his number, email, social media, etc. She could have told her husband and other people and ask them to talk to him to leave her alone. At all times she had full freedom to call police and prevent him from speaking.
There are so many options for women not to be offended by words in this most free country in the world.

He approached a clearly pregnant, clearly married woman and tried to convince her to run off with him. He should never have approached her in the first place. Him approaching her is harassment. She was just going about her business, leave her the f*&k alone!

I absolutely ashore him approaching her. But I also abhor people like you who want to police other people's thoughts and words. Who want to criminalize thoughts, words, and feelings. Who want to expand the definition of harassment to include free thoughts and speech, something that this country was built upon.
Honestly, I am more afraid of people like you than of a homeless guy following me.

Honestly, how difficult is it to leave someone alone? No one has a right to interfere with a person who is going about her day, minding her own business (especially when pregnant!). I am not trying to be the thought police. I dgaf what people THINK, I care about what people SAY and DO. If a married, visably pregnant woman is fair game to be hit on in your free speech and equality for disgusting pig men world, then I am afraid of YOU!

[Anonymous]

I'm not the PP, but I think women have this idea that men are constantly observing other men harassing and assaulting women, or bragging about it, and "doing nothing about it." But that has not been the case for me. I've literally never seen anything that looked like a rape, sexual assault, etc., or heard anyone bragging about anything that sounded like it. I'm not saying that it isn't a widespread problem. I'm just saying that the assumption that men are just looking the other way isn't really accurate either."

No, you're saying "I haven't done it, ergo it's not widely done".

I just can't with this logic. It's like arguing over the color of the sky.

Look, ultimately the problem is multi-faceted, and involves a broad cultural shift that likely involves everyone. Yes, everyone. But to be clear, the primary issue is not women's "ideas", or "assumptions", and this is not women's problem to solve with pepper spray and community meetings. Thank you for not being one of these guys. Please encourage your male friends and co-workers to follow your example by: listening to your female colleagues, asking rather than assuming if you want to pursue someone romantically. Being ok with "no". It's a small ask for a step in the right direction.

[Anonymous]

I'm not the PP, but I think women have this idea that men are constantly observing other men harassing and assaulting women, or bragging about it, and "doing nothing about it." But that has not been the case for me. I've literally never seen anything that looked like a rape, sexual assault, etc., or heard anyone bragging about anything that sounded like it. I'm not saying that it isn't a widespread problem. I'm just saying that the assumption that men are just looking the other way isn't really accurate either.

No, you're saying "I haven't done it, ergo it's not widely done".

I just can't with this logic. It's like arguing over the color of the sky.

Look, ultimately the problem is multi-faceted, and involves a broad cultural shift that likely involves everyone. Yes, everyone. But to be clear, the primary issue is not women's "ideas", or "assumptions", and this is not women's problem to solve with pepper spray and community meetings. Thank you for not being one of these guys. Please encourage your male friends and co-workers to follow your example by: listening to your female colleagues, asking rather than assuming if you want to pursue someone romantically. Being ok with "no". It's a small ask for a step in the right direction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to plan my walk routes from school such that I'd have the least chance of walking past men. I'd even cross the street if I saw a group of guys on the next block. We're talking a middle school to high school.

I thought getting married (that is wearing a wedding band) would help but some men don't care. Not long ago when I was 8 months pregnant a man asked me out. I looked at my heavily pregnant belly and looked at him, like he was crazy. I told him I was married and that man happened to be father of my nearly full term baby. He persisted and said we should "run away together". I'm grateful that I haven't had any negative experiences at my place of work and I truly pray that doesn't change.

As a woman I fail to see how did this guy harass you. Did he stalk you, call you, text you, or touch you inappropriately? If yes than we can talk about harassment. What I see is that he is someone who is desperate, sad, immature, and with bad manners. If anything he is a truly sad sap, not someone to be afraid of.

I think you have a different definition of harassment and I suppose many people do. If I were being stalked I wouldn't consider that harassment...that would be, well stalking (it is a distinct crime and subject to criminal charges that are different from harassment).


Bad manners is picking your teeth at dinner and spitting on the floor. Continuing to HARASSS a woman who has told you that your actions are inappropriate is just that: harassment.

I think some of the responses reflect differences in cultural norms and social expectations. There are behaviors I find reprehensible but have dealt with because I am a human female but I certainly don't diminish the fact that such behavior is deeply problematic

Well, I am sure that women who undergo genital mutilation as babies in Somalia, those forced into marriage at 10-years-old in Yemen, those sold into sexual slavery in the Islamic territory, those raped by the decree of a village council in Pakistan, would not agree with you. In the most free country in the world you are trying to redefine normal human behavior into something criminal.
If words offend you, call police. Simple as that.

You think suggesting to a married full-term pregnant women that you should "run away together" is normal behavior?

It indicates that he is super sad and pathetic. It indicates someone who had no role model in his life. It indicates someone who never experienced love or a normal relationship. It indicates someone who lacks morals. It indicates someone lonely and of low IQ.
He used words, right? He suggested things, right?
As far as I understood from the post he did not stalk, force, or touch the married woman. He did not force her to do anything. He did not even force her to listen to him. At all times she could have blocked his number, email, social media, etc. She could have told her husband and other people and ask them to talk to him to leave her alone. At all times she had full freedom to call police and prevent him from speaking.
There are so many options for women not to be offended by words in this most free country in the world.

He approached a clearly pregnant, clearly married woman and tried to convince her to run off with him. He should never have approached her in the first place. Him approaching her is harassment. She was just going about her business, leave her the f*&k alone!

I absolutely ashore him approaching her. But I also abhor people like you who want to police other people's thoughts and words. Who want to criminalize thoughts, words, and feelings. Who want to expand the definition of harassment to include free thoughts and speech, something that this country was built upon.
Honestly, I am more afraid of people like you than of a homeless guy following me.

Honestly, how difficult is it to leave someone alone? No one has a right to interfere with a person who is going about her day, minding her own business (especially when pregnant!). I am not trying to be the thought police. I dgaf what people THINK, I care about what people SAY and DO. If a married, visably pregnant woman is fair game to be hit on in your free speech and equality for disgusting pig men world, then I am afraid of YOU!

He has a right to express his feelings no matter how ridiculous and immoral they are. That does not make him a criminal. Heck, I have seen my share of people behaving ridiculously but I am not gonna cry victimization because of this.
And this is precisely what's wrong with the society; the constant barge of victimization.
She (or any other woman) has all means at her disposal not to listen to him. Him approaching her and expressing his ridiculous thoughts is not a crime.
A woman is not an innocent bystander who cannot do anything in these situations. You have all the tools at your disposal: not answering, not talking, walking away, blocking numbers and emails, calling the police. You are not a victim!