Are women constantly being harassed or does the news recently just make it feel that way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to plan my walk routes from school such that I'd have the least chance of walking past men. I'd even cross the street if I saw a group of guys on the next block. We're talking a middle school to high school.

I thought getting married (that is wearing a wedding band) would help but some men don't care. Not long ago when I was 8 months pregnant a man asked me out. I looked at my heavily pregnant belly and looked at him, like he was crazy. I told him I was married and that man happened to be father of my nearly full term baby. He persisted and said we should "run away together". I'm grateful that I haven't had any negative experiences at my place of work and I truly pray that doesn't change.

As a woman I fail to see how did this guy harass you. Did he stalk you, call you, text you, or touch you inappropriately? If yes than we can talk about harassment. What I see is that he is someone who is desperate, sad, immature, and with bad manners. If anything he is a truly sad sap, not someone to be afraid of.

I think you have a different definition of harassment and I suppose many people do. If I were being stalked I wouldn't consider that harassment...that would be, well stalking (it is a distinct crime and subject to criminal charges that are different from harassment).


Bad manners is picking your teeth at dinner and spitting on the floor. Continuing to HARASSS a woman who has told you that your actions are inappropriate is just that: harassment.

I think some of the responses reflect differences in cultural norms and social expectations. There are behaviors I find reprehensible but have dealt with because I am a human female but I certainly don't diminish the fact that such behavior is deeply problematic

Well, I am sure that women who undergo genital mutilation as babies in Somalia, those forced into marriage at 10-years-old in Yemen, those sold into sexual slavery in the Islamic territory, those raped by the decree of a village council in Pakistan, would not agree with you. In the most free country in the world you are trying to redefine normal human behavior into something criminal.
If words offend you, call police. Simple as that.

You think suggesting to a married full-term pregnant women that you should "run away together" is normal behavior?

It indicates that he is super sad and pathetic. It indicates someone who had no role model in his life. It indicates someone who never experienced love or a normal relationship. It indicates someone who lacks morals. It indicates someone lonely and of low IQ.
He used words, right? He suggested things, right?
As far as I understood from the post he did not stalk, force, or touch the married woman. He did not force her to do anything. He did not even force her to listen to him. At all times she could have blocked his number, email, social media, etc. She could have told her husband and other people and ask them to talk to him to leave her alone. At all times she had full freedom to call police and prevent him from speaking.
There are so many options for women not to be offended by words in this most free country in the world.

He approached a clearly pregnant, clearly married woman and tried to convince her to run off with him. He should never have approached her in the first place. Him approaching her is harassment. She was just going about her business, leave her the f*&k alone!

However strange or distasteful, this doesn't seem like harassment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm not the PP, but I think women have this idea that men are constantly observing other men harassing and assaulting women, or bragging about it, and "doing nothing about it." But that has not been the case for me. I've literally never seen anything that looked like a rape, sexual assault, etc., or heard anyone bragging about anything that sounded like it. I'm not saying that it isn't a widespread problem. I'm just saying that the assumption that men are just looking the other way isn't really accurate either.

No, you're saying "I haven't done it, ergo it's not widely done".

I just can't with this logic. It's like arguing over the color of the sky.

Look, ultimately the problem is multi-faceted, and involves a broad cultural shift that likely involves everyone. Yes, everyone. But to be clear, the primary issue is not women's "ideas", or "assumptions", and this is not women's problem to solve with pepper spray and community meetings. Thank you for not being one of these guys. Please encourage your male friends and co-workers to follow your example by: listening to your female colleagues, asking rather than assuming if you want to pursue someone romantically. Being ok with "no". It's a small ask for a step in the right direction.

That is literally the opposite of what was being said.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe it. I'm already tired and bored of the issue.

Bring on the next entertaining cause/terrorist attack/natural disaster!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to plan my walk routes from school such that I'd have the least chance of walking past men. I'd even cross the street if I saw a group of guys on the next block. We're talking a middle school to high school.

I thought getting married (that is wearing a wedding band) would help but some men don't care. Not long ago when I was 8 months pregnant a man asked me out. I looked at my heavily pregnant belly and looked at him, like he was crazy. I told him I was married and that man happened to be father of my nearly full term baby. He persisted and said we should "run away together". I'm grateful that I haven't had any negative experiences at my place of work and I truly pray that doesn't change.

As a woman I fail to see how did this guy harass you. Did he stalk you, call you, text you, or touch you inappropriately? If yes than we can talk about harassment. What I see is that he is someone who is desperate, sad, immature, and with bad manners. If anything he is a truly sad sap, not someone to be afraid of.

I think you have a different definition of harassment and I suppose many people do. If I were being stalked I wouldn't consider that harassment...that would be, well stalking (it is a distinct crime and subject to criminal charges that are different from harassment).


Bad manners is picking your teeth at dinner and spitting on the floor. Continuing to HARASSS a woman who has told you that your actions are inappropriate is just that: harassment.

I think some of the responses reflect differences in cultural norms and social expectations. There are behaviors I find reprehensible but have dealt with because I am a human female but I certainly don't diminish the fact that such behavior is deeply problematic

Well, I am sure that women who undergo genital mutilation as babies in Somalia, those forced into marriage at 10-years-old in Yemen, those sold into sexual slavery in the Islamic territory, those raped by the decree of a village council in Pakistan, would not agree with you. In the most free country in the world you are trying to redefine normal human behavior into something criminal.
If words offend you, call police. Simple as that.

You think suggesting to a married full-term pregnant women that you should "run away together" is normal behavior?

It indicates that he is super sad and pathetic. It indicates someone who had no role model in his life. It indicates someone who never experienced love or a normal relationship. It indicates someone who lacks morals. It indicates someone lonely and of low IQ.
He used words, right? He suggested things, right?
As far as I understood from the post he did not stalk, force, or touch the married woman. He did not force her to do anything. He did not even force her to listen to him. At all times she could have blocked his number, email, social media, etc. She could have told her husband and other people and ask them to talk to him to leave her alone. At all times she had full freedom to call police and prevent him from speaking.
There are so many options for women not to be offended by words in this most free country in the world.

He approached a clearly pregnant, clearly married woman and tried to convince her to run off with him. He should never have approached her in the first place. Him approaching her is harassment. She was just going about her business, leave her the f*&k alone!

I absolutely ashore him approaching her. But I also abhor people like you who want to police other people's thoughts and words. Who want to criminalize thoughts, words, and feelings. Who want to expand the definition of harassment to include free thoughts and speech, something that this country was built upon.
Honestly, I am more afraid of people like you than of a homeless guy following me.

Honestly, how difficult is it to leave someone alone? No one has a right to interfere with a person who is going about her day, minding her own business (especially when pregnant!). I am not trying to be the thought police. I dgaf what people THINK, I care about what people SAY and DO. If a married, visably pregnant woman is fair game to be hit on in your free speech and equality for disgusting pig men world, then I am afraid of YOU!

He has a right to express his feelings no matter how ridiculous and immoral they are. That does not make him a criminal. Heck, I have seen my share of people behaving ridiculously but I am not gonna cry victimization because of this.
And this is precisely what's wrong with the society; the constant barge of victimization.
She (or any other woman) has all means at her disposal not to listen to him. Him approaching her and expressing his ridiculous thoughts is not a crime.
A woman is not an innocent bystander who cannot do anything in these situations. You have all the tools at your disposal: not answering, not talking, walking away, blocking numbers and emails, calling the police. You are not a victim!

Does a woman have a right to be left alone? You are inserting yourself into the pregnant woman scenario and saying how you'd react and it's really no big deal. Have you ever been pregnant? Do you remember how exhausting it is? How difficult to manuever a larger body? The hormones? The fact that you're growing and protecting a human? We can't be left alone as girls, nor as young women, nor as older women, why can't pregnancy be the one time of life that women can be left the f*&k alone? Oh yeah, because you're worried about some man's dick and his rights to let us women know all about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to plan my walk routes from school such that I'd have the least chance of walking past men. I'd even cross the street if I saw a group of guys on the next block. We're talking a middle school to high school.

I thought getting married (that is wearing a wedding band) would help but some men don't care. Not long ago when I was 8 months pregnant a man asked me out. I looked at my heavily pregnant belly and looked at him, like he was crazy. I told him I was married and that man happened to be father of my nearly full term baby. He persisted and said we should "run away together". I'm grateful that I haven't had any negative experiences at my place of work and I truly pray that doesn't change.

As a woman I fail to see how did this guy harass you. Did he stalk you, call you, text you, or touch you inappropriately? If yes than we can talk about harassment. What I see is that he is someone who is desperate, sad, immature, and with bad manners. If anything he is a truly sad sap, not someone to be afraid of.

I think you have a different definition of harassment and I suppose many people do. If I were being stalked I wouldn't consider that harassment...that would be, well stalking (it is a distinct crime and subject to criminal charges that are different from harassment).


Bad manners is picking your teeth at dinner and spitting on the floor. Continuing to HARASSS a woman who has told you that your actions are inappropriate is just that: harassment.

I think some of the responses reflect differences in cultural norms and social expectations. There are behaviors I find reprehensible but have dealt with because I am a human female but I certainly don't diminish the fact that such behavior is deeply problematic

Well, I am sure that women who undergo genital mutilation as babies in Somalia, those forced into marriage at 10-years-old in Yemen, those sold into sexual slavery in the Islamic territory, those raped by the decree of a village council in Pakistan, would not agree with you. In the most free country in the world you are trying to redefine normal human behavior into something criminal.
If words offend you, call police. Simple as that.

You think suggesting to a married full-term pregnant women that you should "run away together" is normal behavior?

It indicates that he is super sad and pathetic. It indicates someone who had no role model in his life. It indicates someone who never experienced love or a normal relationship. It indicates someone who lacks morals. It indicates someone lonely and of low IQ.
He used words, right? He suggested things, right?
As far as I understood from the post he did not stalk, force, or touch the married woman. He did not force her to do anything. He did not even force her to listen to him. At all times she could have blocked his number, email, social media, etc. She could have told her husband and other people and ask them to talk to him to leave her alone. At all times she had full freedom to call police and prevent him from speaking.
There are so many options for women not to be offended by words in this most free country in the world.

He approached a clearly pregnant, clearly married woman and tried to convince her to run off with him. He should never have approached her in the first place. Him approaching her is harassment. She was just going about her business, leave her the f*&k alone!

I absolutely ashore him approaching her. But I also abhor people like you who want to police other people's thoughts and words. Who want to criminalize thoughts, words, and feelings. Who want to expand the definition of harassment to include free thoughts and speech, something that this country was built upon.
Honestly, I am more afraid of people like you than of a homeless guy following me.

Honestly, how difficult is it to leave someone alone? No one has a right to interfere with a person who is going about her day, minding her own business (especially when pregnant!). I am not trying to be the thought police. I dgaf what people THINK, I care about what people SAY and DO. If a married, visably pregnant woman is fair game to be hit on in your free speech and equality for disgusting pig men world, then I am afraid of YOU!

He has a right to express his feelings no matter how ridiculous and immoral they are. That does not make him a criminal. Heck, I have seen my share of people behaving ridiculously but I am not gonna cry victimization because of this.
And this is precisely what's wrong with the society; the constant barge of victimization.
She (or any other woman) has all means at her disposal not to listen to him. Him approaching her and expressing his ridiculous thoughts is not a crime.
A woman is not an innocent bystander who cannot do anything in these situations. You have all the tools at your disposal: not answering, not talking, walking away, blocking numbers and emails, calling the police. You are not a victim!

Does a woman have a right to be left alone? You are inserting yourself into the pregnant woman scenario and saying how you'd react and it's really no big deal. Have you ever been pregnant? Do you remember how exhausting it is? How difficult to manuever a larger body? The hormones? The fact that you're growing and protecting a human? We can't be left alone as girls, nor as young women, nor as older women, why can't pregnancy be the one time of life that women can be left the f*&k alone? Oh yeah, because you're worried about some man's dick and his rights to let us women know all about it.

No. No one has a "right to be left alone" in public. If you are out in public, it is possible that someone might talk to you or ask you for a date. As long as they don't get aggressive, or persist after you've declined, that's not harassment. If you want to be left alone, stay inside, or move to a remote place where no one else lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Oh no! the opposite sex finds me too attractive. I have to live with people constantly desiring me and trying to date me!"

- said about 1% of men ever

I acknowledge that men have no perspective on what it means to be a woman constantly fending off suitors and sifting through the dozens of frogs to find their prince charming.

But women need to admit that being so desired and sought after is an entitlement that most men can only dream of. Men are accustomed to being the chaser so they can't begin to understand why women wouldn't love the attention. I'm sure it makes life much harder for women in some ways, but then I'm also sure it is pretty awesome most of the time.

Women have no sense whatsoever of what it means to be a man trying to find a mate only to be rejected at least 8 out of 10 times. Women are aghast when they are rejected, but yet it's men's egos that are mocked as being fragile. You've never seen a fragile ego until you've seen a woman get rejected!

Maybe they wouldn't get rejected so much if they didn't act like creeps with their leers, sexualized comments, and grabbing of women's body parts.

No, it is not awesome to have a stranger grab you crotch on a crowded subway car and hold it tightly.

No, it is not awesome to have men yell at you as you're walking alone down a street, when you don't know if any of them are going to follow you and possibly attack you.

No, it is not awesome when your male boss makes a lewd suggestion to you and then threatenins your promotion when you reject him.

How do you not get that? I am beginning to understand why you are rejected so often.

[Anonymous]

I think that the majority of sexual harassment claims are legit. Unfortunately, you do have the occasional nutcase or opportunist that complains to HR over something that no reasonable person would consider harassment. When this happens, word spreads among men, which tends to make them skeptical of harassment claims.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to plan my walk routes from school such that I'd have the least chance of walking past men. I'd even cross the street if I saw a group of guys on the next block. We're talking a middle school to high school.

I thought getting married (that is wearing a wedding band) would help but some men don't care. Not long ago when I was 8 months pregnant a man asked me out. I looked at my heavily pregnant belly and looked at him, like he was crazy. I told him I was married and that man happened to be father of my nearly full term baby. He persisted and said we should "run away together". I'm grateful that I haven't had any negative experiences at my place of work and I truly pray that doesn't change.

As a woman I fail to see how did this guy harass you. Did he stalk you, call you, text you, or touch you inappropriately? If yes than we can talk about harassment. What I see is that he is someone who is desperate, sad, immature, and with bad manners. If anything he is a truly sad sap, not someone to be afraid of.

I think you have a different definition of harassment and I suppose many people do. If I were being stalked I wouldn't consider that harassment...that would be, well stalking (it is a distinct crime and subject to criminal charges that are different from harassment).


Bad manners is picking your teeth at dinner and spitting on the floor. Continuing to HARASSS a woman who has told you that your actions are inappropriate is just that: harassment.

I think some of the responses reflect differences in cultural norms and social expectations. There are behaviors I find reprehensible but have dealt with because I am a human female but I certainly don't diminish the fact that such behavior is deeply problematic

Well, I am sure that women who undergo genital mutilation as babies in Somalia, those forced into marriage at 10-years-old in Yemen, those sold into sexual slavery in the Islamic territory, those raped by the decree of a village council in Pakistan, would not agree with you. In the most free country in the world you are trying to redefine normal human behavior into something criminal.
If words offend you, call police. Simple as that.

You think suggesting to a married full-term pregnant women that you should "run away together" is normal behavior?

It indicates that he is super sad and pathetic. It indicates someone who had no role model in his life. It indicates someone who never experienced love or a normal relationship. It indicates someone who lacks morals. It indicates someone lonely and of low IQ.
He used words, right? He suggested things, right?
As far as I understood from the post he did not stalk, force, or touch the married woman. He did not force her to do anything. He did not even force her to listen to him. At all times she could have blocked his number, email, social media, etc. She could have told her husband and other people and ask them to talk to him to leave her alone. At all times she had full freedom to call police and prevent him from speaking.
There are so many options for women not to be offended by words in this most free country in the world.

He approached a clearly pregnant, clearly married woman and tried to convince her to run off with him. He should never have approached her in the first place. Him approaching her is harassment. She was just going about her business, leave her the f*&k alone!

I absolutely ashore him approaching her. But I also abhor people like you who want to police other people's thoughts and words. Who want to criminalize thoughts, words, and feelings. Who want to expand the definition of harassment to include free thoughts and speech, something that this country was built upon.
Honestly, I am more afraid of people like you than of a homeless guy following me.

Honestly, how difficult is it to leave someone alone? No one has a right to interfere with a person who is going about her day, minding her own business (especially when pregnant!). I am not trying to be the thought police. I dgaf what people THINK, I care about what people SAY and DO. If a married, visably pregnant woman is fair game to be hit on in your free speech and equality for disgusting pig men world, then I am afraid of YOU!

He has a right to express his feelings no matter how ridiculous and immoral they are. That does not make him a criminal. Heck, I have seen my share of people behaving ridiculously but I am not gonna cry victimization because of this.
And this is precisely what's wrong with the society; the constant barge of victimization.
She (or any other woman) has all means at her disposal not to listen to him. Him approaching her and expressing his ridiculous thoughts is not a crime.
A woman is not an innocent bystander who cannot do anything in these situations. You have all the tools at your disposal: not answering, not talking, walking away, blocking numbers and emails, calling the police. You are not a victim!

Does a woman have a right to be left alone? You are inserting yourself into the pregnant woman scenario and saying how you'd react and it's really no big deal. Have you ever been pregnant? Do you remember how exhausting it is? How difficult to manuever a larger body? The hormones? The fact that you're growing and protecting a human? We can't be left alone as girls, nor as young women, nor as older women, why can't pregnancy be the one time of life that women can be left the f*&k alone? Oh yeah, because you're worried about some man's dick and his rights to let us women know all about it.

No. No one has a "right to be left alone" in public. If you are out in public, it is possible that someone might talk to you or ask you for a date. As long as they don't get aggressive, or persist after you've declined, that's not harassment. If you want to be left alone, stay inside, or move to a remote place where no one else lives.

The PP said that he PERSISTED after she DECLINED, ie by your definition it is harassment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Oh no! the opposite sex finds me too attractive. I have to live with people constantly desiring me and trying to date me!"

- said about 1% of men ever

I acknowledge that men have no perspective on what it means to be a woman constantly fending off suitors and sifting through the dozens of frogs to find their prince charming.

But women need to admit that being so desired and sought after is an entitlement that most men can only dream of. Men are accustomed to being the chaser so they can't begin to understand why women wouldn't love the attention. I'm sure it makes life much harder for women in some ways, but then I'm also sure it is pretty awesome most of the time.

Women have no sense whatsoever of what it means to be a man trying to find a mate only to be rejected at least 8 out of 10 times. Women are aghast when they are rejected, but yet it's men's egos that are mocked as being fragile. You've never seen a fragile ego until you've seen a woman get rejected!

Maybe they wouldn't get rejected so much if they didn't act like creeps with their leers, sexualized comments, and grabbing of women's body parts. - Call 911

No, it is not awesome to have a stranger grab you crotch on a crowded subway car and hold it tightly. - Call 911

No, it is not awesome to have men yell at you as you're walking alone down a street, when you don't know if any of them are going to follow you and possibly attack you. - Call 911

No, it is not awesome when your male boss makes a lewd suggestion to you and then threatenins your promotion when you reject him. - Complain to HR and/or call 911

How do you not get that? I am beginning to understand why you are rejected so often.

There, I solved it for you.

[Anonymous]

Ladies, it's useless arguing with these clowns. They're vested in maintaining denial regarding this issue. Attitudes like theirs have created the status quo. It's OK though, I do believe it's changing. Oh, and dudes? We see you. We avoid you at work, move when you get on the subway, and yep turn you down for dates. Tragedy, I know. You're having to deal with romantic rejection while we deal with missed promotions and fears for our safety. We do feel bad for you. Just not for the reasons you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No one cares about humiliating you or wielding any power over you. Unless you are a daughter of a billionaire you are simply insignificant. No one will spend their time and energy to wield anything over you because you simply don't matter.
And you will be even more insignificant when AI takes over. Get out of the false narrative, if you are capable of it.

Here's a study showing that female-initiated disruption of a male hierarchy incites hostile behavior from poor performing males towards females. The study was done anonymously with on-line gamers. Poorly performing males stand to lose status and as a result are hostile toward a female teammates.

http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0131613

I am not the PP, but I will chime and ask, why do you think that is?

It's because women, often inadvertently, use their sexual power to get perks in society.

The solution is for high status men to be disciplined about showering attractive females with any kind of attention that is not 100% based on their performance and non-sexual contribution to the group. That is the only way for other lower status or even medium status men not to be rightly annoyed by sexual-power wielding females.

I am a woman, by the way. And I don't think that women manipulatively use their sexual power in many cases. I blame the retarded men (Harvey Weinstein types) who make everything awkward for everyone by pandering to attractive women to either try to get laid or simply for an ego boost.

It’s much more complicated than that. In matriarchal societies women don’t need to use their “sexual powers to get perks”.

In this study, they tried to control for sexuality by choosing the game Halo 3 where “the players are covered head-to-toe with armor and identified by armor color, rather than facial features or body type”. The only thing identifying the female players was their voices.

Other studies have looked at the confidence of girls and women in matriarchal societies and found that they have equal confidence in their decision making as males. By contrast, the more patriarchal the society, the less confidence females had in their decisions compared to males.

I can see how in a society where women have less power, they would use their sexuality to influence the males that do. It would also make sense that lower status males would try to elevate their status by putting females down below them.

I’m not saying there’s one easy solution to the sexual harassment problem (eg that men need to step up or women need to fight back). It’s a complex societal problem that many people don’t even see as a problem (take the Eastern European poster) and will not be resolved overnight.

[Anonymous]

Men are afraid that women will humiliate them. Women are afraid that men will hurt them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are afraid that women will humiliate them. Women are afraid that men will hurt them.

Yes. One has to wonder why the powers to be use media circus to sew the division between the two genders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are afraid that women will humiliate them. Women are afraid that men will hurt them.

This reminds me of the Margaret Atwood quote, "Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that the majority of sexual harassment claims are legit. Unfortunately, you do have the occasional nutcase or opportunist that complains to HR over something that no reasonable person would consider harassment. When this happens, word spreads among men, which tends to make them skeptical of harassment claims.

A study I read from a few years ago estimated that 97% of sexual assault claims are true and 3% are fabricated.