Husband had a baby with assistant update

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women stupid enough to have babies with married men should get absolutely nothing. It is contributory negligence. Married Men who can't keep their pants zipped should be given a public vasectomy and a damn good public flogging!

Amen

-1

It's not about the mom. It's about the child. The child didn't choose to have pathetic people for parents. The child deserves to be cared for. The child's father is equally responsible for the child's care.

Despite what you want to believe allowing your husband to neglect the child he made "to get back at" the OW will not make you feel better or make your husband's affair any less real.

Step dad wants child support so he can stay in the house they bought a mile from us. He wants to be dad in every other way. I have to messages to prove he wants to raise the child. If they win in court, he doubles his pay and gets to raise the child every day

OP here - Is this to me? I didn't type Amen. You are right, the child is an innocent victim and my children are just as innocent. I am divorcing my husband so I am not allowing him to "neglect" the child. The child also has a father who is raising him. She is not a single mother. He was there for the baby shower, birth, baptism, etc. Being biologically related to someone is not near as important as being emotionally bonded.

One of our children is adopted, one is biological. I love them both the same. My husband is our adopted child's father 100%. I don't consider the woman who gave up my daughter for adoption as neglecting her. My two kids share zero DNA and are really close. This would be my son's half brother technically but nothing to my daughter. I am not trying to "get back" at the other woman. What is in the best interest of all the children? I really don't know.

This is very different than adoption. Stepfather does not want to be dad or they would not go to court. Your husband is dad, bond or not, he is dad.

I disagree. Is my daughter's birth father in Korea her dad? No. This dad wants to be step dad because it is the only way he can collect money and remain in the house they bought a mile from ours. No one in his family knows the story and even his parents think it his his biological child. He is dad in every sense of the word. He has raised this child for two and a half years. Nothing will change for him except he will get his mortgage paid. My husband is not this child's dad as he really has no bond. He has a huge bond with the child he shares zero DNA with. A dad is someone who raises you regardless of any biological connection.

They are going to court for money. A woman is never forced to be a mom. She has options. She can put the child up for adoption or abort. A man has no reproductive rights. He shouldn't have screwed her in the first place so he is to blame but had he been the pregnant one (sounds ridiculous, I know). He would have aborted. I am all for him supporting this child financially and emotionally if he did not already have a father. He does not want to be a father to this child but will if the woman's husband does not want the responsibility. But HE DOES! He just wants more money to live a lifestyle they can't afford.

I disagree. Is my daughter's birth father in Korea her dad? No. This dad wants to be step dad because it is the only way he can collect money and remain in the house they bought a mile from ours. No one in his family knows the story and even his parents think it his his biological child. He is dad in every sense of the word. He has raised this child for two and a half years. Nothing will change for him except he will get his mortgage paid. My husband is not this child's dad as he really has no bond. He has a huge bond with the child he shares zero DNA with. A dad is someone who raises you regardless of any biological connection.

They are going to court for money. A woman is never forced to be a mom. She has options. She can put the child up for adoption or abort. A man has no reproductive rights. He shouldn't have screwed her in the first place so he is to blame but had he been the pregnant one (sounds ridiculous, I know). He would have aborted. I am all for him supporting this child financially and emotionally if he did not already have a father. He does not want to be a father to this child but will if the woman's husband does not want the responsibility. But HE DOES! He just wants more money to live a lifestyle they can't afford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

Best of luck to you and your family OP.

I would just advise that your husband stop trying to play hardball. The paternity test is inevitable. He needs to simply give it to her instead of waiting on a court order. The attorney simply wants to milk this case for all he can. He's not concerned about the best interest of your family.

It's clear the AP and husband want to have their cake and eat it too. They get to stay together, raise the child, but get financial support from your husband. And I think they'll have it their way. If they decide to stay together, that's on them. But your husband will still have to support his child. Usually the only time a court will refuse to sever paternity ties is if there's no one to step into the role of father. The courts will not legally bastardize a child. They will, however, make changes to acknowledge the true biological father.But you never know. As you said, it depends on the judge and what kind of morning s/he has.

As far as the child support the AP did not get for the past two years, it is very possible he will be forced to pay it. My sister insisted on back child support for the 1st 3 years of her child's life after things were finally addressed in court when he was 3. And she got it. The father could not afford the lump some but was ordered to pay on top of the original amount until the past debt was settled.

Finally, I do vaguely recall a post about you slashing Christmas decorations in front of the AP's dingy $19,000 home. But that's neither here nor there.

Usually child support is retroactive to the date of filing, not birth. But, it really depends on the judge. In this case he knew about the child and refuses to acknowledge paternity. Its going to get very messy.

Yeah, to the date of filing for an unsuspecting guy who had no idea a child existed. In OP's case--as well as my sister's--the father was well aware there was a child that could likely be his.

Was your sister married with her husband raising the child as his own? Providing medical care, food and shelter. This child has a legal father that loves him. If your sister was single, I can understand this but OP's husband's OW has had her own husband supporting the child the entire time.

She was engaged by the time the case made it to court--to a man who had stepped up and been a father figure from the time my nephew was a little over a year old. But the case was between her and the man DNA determined to be the biological father as far as the court was concerned. I advised her to take the support that was ordered and keep it moving, but she insisted the bastid was going to pay for being an ass. And he did. (Although she had a soon-to-be and now husband in the picture, it was important to her that her child knew his real father/heritage. She didn't want family secrets scarring him later. Everyone in the family knew the truth and she didn't want to live under the fear of the truth coming out someday--innocently or maliciously.)

Was the man married that she had the child with?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I agree, they are going to court for the money.
They got an idea, they found a lawyer to try to execute it and it really sucks for you and the general financial situation. If I were your cheating ex husband I would go on the dole or work in the black market. He is really getting take. To the cleaners by his manipulative secretary.

[Anonymous]

Did the OP ever answer if her DH went to the drug store and did a quickie paternity test with the affair partner to determine if all this was necessary?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

Best of luck to you and your family OP.

I would just advise that your husband stop trying to play hardball. The paternity test is inevitable. He needs to simply give it to her instead of waiting on a court order. The attorney simply wants to milk this case for all he can. He's not concerned about the best interest of your family.

It's clear the AP and husband want to have their cake and eat it too. They get to stay together, raise the child, but get financial support from your husband. And I think they'll have it their way. If they decide to stay together, that's on them. But your husband will still have to support his child. Usually the only time a court will refuse to sever paternity ties is if there's no one to step into the role of father. The courts will not legally bastardize a child. They will, however, make changes to acknowledge the true biological father.But you never know. As you said, it depends on the judge and what kind of morning s/he has.

As far as the child support the AP did not get for the past two years, it is very possible he will be forced to pay it. My sister insisted on back child support for the 1st 3 years of her child's life after things were finally addressed in court when he was 3. And she got it. The father could not afford the lump some but was ordered to pay on top of the original amount until the past debt was settled.

Finally, I do vaguely recall a post about you slashing Christmas decorations in front of the AP's dingy $19,000 home. But that's neither here nor there.

Usually child support is retroactive to the date of filing, not birth. But, it really depends on the judge. In this case he knew about the child and refuses to acknowledge paternity. Its going to get very messy.

Yeah, to the date of filing for an unsuspecting guy who had no idea a child existed. In OP's case--as well as my sister's--the father was well aware there was a child that could likely be his.

Was your sister married with her husband raising the child as his own? Providing medical care, food and shelter. This child has a legal father that loves him. If your sister was single, I can understand this but OP's husband's OW has had her own husband supporting the child the entire time.

She was engaged by the time the case made it to court--to a man who had stepped up and been a father figure from the time my nephew was a little over a year old. But the case was between her and the man DNA determined to be the biological father as far as the court was concerned. I advised her to take the support that was ordered and keep it moving, but she insisted the bastid was going to pay for being an ass. And he did. (Although she had a soon-to-be and now husband in the picture, it was important to her that her child knew his real father/heritage. She didn't want family secrets scarring him later. Everyone in the family knew the truth and she didn't want to live under the fear of the truth coming out someday--innocently or maliciously.)

Was the man married that she had the child with?

No, he wasn't. But I don't think that matters when determining whether or not the father owes back support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I agree, they are going to court for the money.
They got an idea, they found a lawyer to try to execute it and it really sucks for you and the general financial situation. If I were your cheating ex husband I would go on the dole or work in the black market. He is really getting take. To the cleaners by his manipulative secretary.

No he's not. She's not manipulative, she's getting CS. Normal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women stupid enough to have babies with married men should get absolutely nothing. It is contributory negligence. Married Men who can't keep their pants zipped should be given a public vasectomy and a damn good public flogging!

Amen

-1

It's not about the mom. It's about the child. The child didn't choose to have pathetic people for parents. The child deserves to be cared for. The child's father is equally responsible for the child's care.

Despite what you want to believe allowing your husband to neglect the child he made "to get back at" the OW will not make you feel better or make your husband's affair any less real.

Step dad wants child support so he can stay in the house they bought a mile from us. He wants to be dad in every other way. I have to messages to prove he wants to raise the child. If they win in court, he doubles his pay and gets to raise the child every day

OP here - Is this to me? I didn't type Amen. You are right, the child is an innocent victim and my children are just as innocent. I am divorcing my husband so I am not allowing him to "neglect" the child. The child also has a father who is raising him. She is not a single mother. He was there for the baby shower, birth, baptism, etc. Being biologically related to someone is not near as important as being emotionally bonded.

One of our children is adopted, one is biological. I love them both the same. My husband is our adopted child's father 100%. I don't consider the woman who gave up my daughter for adoption as neglecting her. My two kids share zero DNA and are really close. This would be my son's half brother technically but nothing to my daughter. I am not trying to "get back" at the other woman. What is in the best interest of all the children? I really don't know.

This is very different than adoption. Stepfather does not want to be dad or they would not go to court. Your husband is dad, bond or not, he is dad.

I disagree. Is my daughter's birth father in Korea her dad? No. This dad wants to be step dad because it is the only way he can collect money and remain in the house they bought a mile from ours. No one in his family knows the story and even his parents think it his his biological child. He is dad in every sense of the word. He has raised this child for two and a half years. Nothing will change for him except he will get his mortgage paid. My husband is not this child's dad as he really has no bond. He has a huge bond with the child he shares zero DNA with. A dad is someone who raises you regardless of any biological connection.

They are going to court for money. A woman is never forced to be a mom. She has options. She can put the child up for adoption or abort. A man has no reproductive rights. He shouldn't have screwed her in the first place so he is to blame but had he been the pregnant one (sounds ridiculous, I know). He would have aborted. I am all for him supporting this child financially and emotionally if he did not already have a father. He does not want to be a father to this child but will if the woman's husband does not want the responsibility. But HE DOES! He just wants more money to live a lifestyle they can't afford.

You are confusing the issues. Your husband is DAD. Bond or no bond, there has been no adoption so assuming a paternity test confirms it, he IS Dad. There is far more than "bonding" which is a very subjective term. He may be a very good stepfather but he will never be dad in less there is a legal adoption. As a mom through adoption, I find your bonding nonsense very unfortunate. Part of being a parent IS financially providing as well.

No, my husband is the biological father. You said you are an adoptive parent so your child has a biological father and mother as does my daughter. Do you consider these people your kids mom and dad? Don't u provide financially for this child?. Are you saying your husband will never be "dad" to your adoptive child. I hope he/she never hears you say that. There has been no adoption but her husband is the legal father listed on the birth certificate. He has raised the child from birth. He has provided all financial support. He is "dad". My husband is sperm donor.

I would love for my daughter to know her biological mom and dad for her own sake. However, I would never allow weekly visits with her biological family. She is "our " daughter". DNA means nothing. I think we share 99% of DNA with apes.

Even if paternity confirms it, the court will ultimately look at what is in the best interest of the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did the OP ever answer if her DH went to the drug store and did a quickie paternity test with the affair partner to determine if all this was necessary?

OP here- no and not going to. Are you a lawyer practicing in family law? He should probably follow his real lawyers advice and wait for the court order on August 11th.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

Best of luck to you and your family OP.

I would just advise that your husband stop trying to play hardball. The paternity test is inevitable. He needs to simply give it to her instead of waiting on a court order. The attorney simply wants to milk this case for all he can. He's not concerned about the best interest of your family.

It's clear the AP and husband want to have their cake and eat it too. They get to stay together, raise the child, but get financial support from your husband. And I think they'll have it their way. If they decide to stay together, that's on them. But your husband will still have to support his child. Usually the only time a court will refuse to sever paternity ties is if there's no one to step into the role of father. The courts will not legally bastardize a child. They will, however, make changes to acknowledge the true biological father.But you never know. As you said, it depends on the judge and what kind of morning s/he has.

As far as the child support the AP did not get for the past two years, it is very possible he will be forced to pay it. My sister insisted on back child support for the 1st 3 years of her child's life after things were finally addressed in court when he was 3. And she got it. The father could not afford the lump some but was ordered to pay on top of the original amount until the past debt was settled.

Finally, I do vaguely recall a post about you slashing Christmas decorations in front of the AP's dingy $19,000 home. But that's neither here nor there.

Usually child support is retroactive to the date of filing, not birth. But, it really depends on the judge. In this case he knew about the child and refuses to acknowledge paternity. Its going to get very messy.

Yeah, to the date of filing for an unsuspecting guy who had no idea a child existed. In OP's case--as well as my sister's--the father was well aware there was a child that could likely be his.

Was your sister married with her husband raising the child as his own? Providing medical care, food and shelter. This child has a legal father that loves him. If your sister was single, I can understand this but OP's husband's OW has had her own husband supporting the child the entire time.

She was engaged by the time the case made it to court--to a man who had stepped up and been a father figure from the time my nephew was a little over a year old. But the case was between her and the man DNA determined to be the biological father as far as the court was concerned. I advised her to take the support that was ordered and keep it moving, but she insisted the bastid was going to pay for being an ass. And he did. (Although she had a soon-to-be and now husband in the picture, it was important to her that her child knew his real father/heritage. She didn't want family secrets scarring him later. Everyone in the family knew the truth and she didn't want to live under the fear of the truth coming out someday--innocently or maliciously.)

Was the man married that she had the child with?

No, he wasn't. But I don't think that matters when determining whether or not the father owes back support.

Not OP but it actually does. This child has a legal father. Your sister was reimbursed for all expenses via back child support that she incurred because she was a single parent. A fiancé has no legal rights to support a child of a woman he is going to marry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apart from all the emotions here, I'm curious how this will be settled as a legal matter. The married couple are raising the child as their own (and that seems fine with exH/bio dad?) yet they're seeking to legally sever ties from he only father relationship this child knows. All this for child support. Is that right?

It sounds like it is all about money. He'd being an idiot for paying child support now without a court order and more importantly, a paternity test. They are spending thousands on attorney's when a paternity test is a few hundred dollars. It sounds like "dad" is allowed to be the favorite uncle in exchange for cash. But, OP is saying mixed things such as mom wants dad to have the kid for 10 days a month to he only gets visits 2 weekly at a public park.

OP here- What? He is not paying child support. He has not seen the child in months. If he is required to pay child support, the kid's last name is changed to his and he is determined the legal father, he will have 30/70 custody (around 10 days a month) and 50/50 legal custody. The family court system now gives generous rights to fathers.

There is no DNA at this point. None. I have not wanted him to do DNA until my settlement was complete. She has wanted DNA all along. He did not do it because I asked him to let me get my child support in place first.

Do you really think she would go this far if she wasn't 100% sure it was his? Always a small chance but I doubt it.
My child support is in place. The child support she receives goes off the reduced income from what we get.


DNA away at this point.

So now she wanted Dna all along? When you posted about this originally your husband did and she balked:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/360/419905.page

OP here - I was lied to by my husband. Imagine that.

Convenient! All inconsistencies are his lies. Oh is he the one who came here at Christmas and claimed you attacked her lawn decorations and told all the neighbors she was a whore? Or is he the one lying now when your comments claim you never said that....

Re-read my response. I never denied taking down the Christmas blow ups or telling her neighbors she was a whore. The poster said they lived in a trailer and there was a Christmas party at my house going on at the time. This is completely incorrect. The story is partially true.

Apparently, and lucky for you, you have never been cheated on. There is a term called trickle truth, google it. Rarely, does a cheater disclose all information at once. They do a really great and super painful thing by disclosing more and more info over time. Makes you feel retraumatized with each supposed truth revealed. Cheaters are liars and most only admit to what they think you already know. What I posted the last two years is what I believed to be true at the time. What comment did I claim I never said?

No you reread my Post. I never said a Christmas party was going on at the same time. I said that in the same Christmas season as you did that to her, your husband was at home with your extended family having a good old fashioned Christmas because you asked them to be nice to him. And you did say she lived in a trailer. Why that whole thread got deleted I dont know but I am not the only one who remembered that.

As for retraumatization I imagine if you hadn't mired yourself in this for 2.5 years and kept posting about it over and over and had instead moved on and let your ex husband clean up his mess you wouldn't constantly feel so traumatized.

[Anonymous]

I remember the Christmas blow ups too. It was memorable!

[Anonymous]

OP - you must not be getting very much sleep with the hours you're posting here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My divorce will be final November 4th. We are still living together and managing to co-parent okay. The assistant has sued my husband for child support. He recieved paperwork that lists him and her husband as co-defendants in May. Court date is August 11th. She is suing to take away her husbands paternity and make my soon to be ex-husband the legal father. She also wants the birth certificate changed. She has to prove that this is in the child's best interest. We are in Michigan and she must meet 4 parameters to take away her husbands paternity. I thought that her husband would not willingly give up his parental rights but he has now said that he wants to be "the step parent". Mu husband has hired a very aggressive attorney from a large firm. They are perplexed by this situation. They have never had a case where the man and wife stay married and raise the child together but the husband gives up all parental rights. My husband makes more money and will have to pay child support. A lot of child support. I have access to all correspondence from the two attorneys so no longer feel in the dark.

I know many think I am a troll but I am not. Wish I was. I recieved so many positive, supportive comments that it negated the mean people.

I am marching on, loving my kids and leaning on my crazy, amazing friends. Two years of hell have made me realize how very lucky I really am.

Of course they have. This is not an unusual case at all. They are going to court to establish custody, support and visitation arrangements. Happens all the time. But the courts can't control what people do on their own time so if this woman and her DH want to pretend your DH doesn't exist and that her DH is the child's father to other people and explain away the child's absence when he is visiting his father away from their home, then that's their choice but the court isn't going to get involved in that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

Best of luck to you and your family OP.

I would just advise that your husband stop trying to play hardball. The paternity test is inevitable. He needs to simply give it to her instead of waiting on a court order. The attorney simply wants to milk this case for all he can. He's not concerned about the best interest of your family.

It's clear the AP and husband want to have their cake and eat it too. They get to stay together, raise the child, but get financial support from your husband. And I think they'll have it their way. If they decide to stay together, that's on them. But your husband will still have to support his child. Usually the only time a court will refuse to sever paternity ties is if there's no one to step into the role of father. The courts will not legally bastardize a child. They will, however, make changes to acknowledge the true biological father.But you never know. As you said, it depends on the judge and what kind of morning s/he has.

As far as the child support the AP did not get for the past two years, it is very possible he will be forced to pay it. My sister insisted on back child support for the 1st 3 years of her child's life after things were finally addressed in court when he was 3. And she got it. The father could not afford the lump some but was ordered to pay on top of the original amount until the past debt was settled.

Finally, I do vaguely recall a post about you slashing Christmas decorations in front of the AP's dingy $19,000 home. But that's neither here nor there.

Usually child support is retroactive to the date of filing, not birth. But, it really depends on the judge. In this case he knew about the child and refuses to acknowledge paternity. Its going to get very messy.

Yeah, to the date of filing for an unsuspecting guy who had no idea a child existed. In OP's case--as well as my sister's--the father was well aware there was a child that could likely be his.

Was your sister married with her husband raising the child as his own? Providing medical care, food and shelter. This child has a legal father that loves him. If your sister was single, I can understand this but OP's husband's OW has had her own husband supporting the child the entire time.

She was engaged by the time the case made it to court--to a man who had stepped up and been a father figure from the time my nephew was a little over a year old. But the case was between her and the man DNA determined to be the biological father as far as the court was concerned. I advised her to take the support that was ordered and keep it moving, but she insisted the bastid was going to pay for being an ass. And he did. (Although she had a soon-to-be and now husband in the picture, it was important to her that her child knew his real father/heritage. She didn't want family secrets scarring him later. Everyone in the family knew the truth and she didn't want to live under the fear of the truth coming out someday--innocently or maliciously.)

Was the man married that she had the child with?

No, he wasn't. But I don't think that matters when determining whether or not the father owes back support.

Not OP but it actually does. This child has a legal father. Your sister was reimbursed for all expenses via back child support that she incurred because she was a single parent. A fiancé has no legal rights to support a child of a woman he is going to marry.

Let's just put it this way. I believe if AP (and her hubby) request child support and make the argument that it was denied for the first two years of the child's life because bio dad was dragging his feet, being an ass or whatever, she/they will get it. Once the court determines he is the father of the child he's known about for two years, he will be responsible for supporting said child and responsible for retro. Once the bio dad is determined, as far as the court is concerned, AP's hubby was never the legal father and under no obligation to support the kid for the first two years.

The bottom line...getting back to the topic at hand...is that this is a terrible, terrible sour pickle for all involved.

But OP, when the dust settles one day, I think it would be wise to bring the children together so they know their siblings. That is a whole 'nuther issue in my sister's story. Let's just say, my nephew (and her) benefitted greatly from him having a relationship with his (half) siblings. They became very, VERY, VERY successful. Even better, they were raised by their father to consider one another siblings; there was no half stuff going on. So when the two (half) siblings became EXTREMELY prosperous, they took care of ALL of their siblings. Their family values were just that way.

There's also just the added benefit of my nephew having a larger family than he would have. I believe the more people a child has in his life to love him, the better. And thanks to his extremely fertile father, my nephew has TONS of love in his life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apart from all the emotions here, I'm curious how this will be settled as a legal matter. The married couple are raising the child as their own (and that seems fine with exH/bio dad?) yet they're seeking to legally sever ties from he only father relationship this child knows. All this for child support. Is that right?

It sounds like it is all about money. He'd being an idiot for paying child support now without a court order and more importantly, a paternity test. They are spending thousands on attorney's when a paternity test is a few hundred dollars. It sounds like "dad" is allowed to be the favorite uncle in exchange for cash. But, OP is saying mixed things such as mom wants dad to have the kid for 10 days a month to he only gets visits 2 weekly at a public park.

OP here- What? He is not paying child support. He has not seen the child in months. If he is required to pay child support, the kid's last name is changed to his and he is determined the legal father, he will have 30/70 custody (around 10 days a month) and 50/50 legal custody. The family court system now gives generous rights to fathers.

There is no DNA at this point. None. I have not wanted him to do DNA until my settlement was complete. She has wanted DNA all along. He did not do it because I asked him to let me get my child support in place first.

Do you really think she would go this far if she wasn't 100% sure it was his? Always a small chance but I doubt it.
My child support is in place. The child support she receives goes off the reduced income from what we get.


DNA away at this point.

So now she wanted Dna all along? When you posted about this originally your husband did and she balked:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/360/419905.page

OP here - I was lied to by my husband. Imagine that.

Convenient! All inconsistencies are his lies. Oh is he the one who came here at Christmas and claimed you attacked her lawn decorations and told all the neighbors she was a whore? Or is he the one lying now when your comments claim you never said that....

Re-read my response. I never denied taking down the Christmas blow ups or telling her neighbors she was a whore. The poster said they lived in a trailer and there was a Christmas party at my house going on at the time. This is completely incorrect. The story is partially true.

Apparently, and lucky for you, you have never been cheated on. There is a term called trickle truth, google it. Rarely, does a cheater disclose all information at once. They do a really great and super painful thing by disclosing more and more info over time. Makes you feel retraumatized with each supposed truth revealed. Cheaters are liars and most only admit to what they think you already know. What I posted the last two years is what I believed to be true at the time. What comment did I claim I never said?

No you reread my Post. I never said a Christmas party was going on at the same time. I said that in the same Christmas season as you did that to her, your husband was at home with your extended family having a good old fashioned Christmas because you asked them to be nice to him. And you did say she lived in a trailer. Why that whole thread got deleted I dont know but I am not the only one who remembered that.

As for retraumatization I imagine if you hadn't mired yourself in this for 2.5 years and kept posting about it over and over and had instead moved on and let your ex husband clean up his mess you wouldn't constantly feel so traumatized.

Says the woman on her high horse. I don't regret staying in my mess for two years. I am now stronger and ready to move on for my kids. Had I left two years ago, it would have been traumatic for my kids because I was a raving lunatic. Now, I am financially secure, have a great support system, fairly amicable with soon to be ex-spouse and we move on.

Never said she lived in a trailer. Called her "trailer trash". Quit trying to quote my past posts and move on. You, are a f$@king pathetic woman who clearly lacks empathy for others. Please move on from my post and go harras someone else, maybe your grandma or your elderly neighbor. Clearly, you are a bully.