Husband had a baby with assistant update

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My divorce will be final November 4th. We are still living together and managing to co-parent okay. The assistant has sued my husband for child support. He recieved paperwork that lists him and her husband as co-defendants in May. Court date is August 11th. She is suing to take away her husbands paternity and make my soon to be ex-husband the legal father. She also wants the birth certificate changed. She has to prove that this is in the child's best interest. We are in Michigan and she must meet 4 parameters to take away her husbands paternity. I thought that her husband would not willingly give up his parental rights but he has now said that he wants to be "the step parent". Mu husband has hired a very aggressive attorney from a large firm. They are perplexed by this situation. They have never had a case where the man and wife stay married and raise the child together but the husband gives up all parental rights. My husband makes more money and will have to pay child support. A lot of child support. I have access to all correspondence from the two attorneys so no longer feel in the dark.

I know many think I am a troll but I am not. Wish I was. I recieved so many positive, supportive comments that it negated the mean people.

I am marching on, loving my kids and leaning on my crazy, amazing friends. Two years of hell have made me realize how very lucky I really am.

It's because of the child support they want to collect from your husband. What is so perplexing about it?

[Anonymous]

So will your husband get partial custody of this other kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My divorce will be final November 4th. We are still living together and managing to co-parent okay. The assistant has sued my husband for child support. He recieved paperwork that lists him and her husband as co-defendants in May. Court date is August 11th. She is suing to take away her husbands paternity and make my soon to be ex-husband the legal father. She also wants the birth certificate changed. She has to prove that this is in the child's best interest. We are in Michigan and she must meet 4 parameters to take away her husbands paternity. I thought that her husband would not willingly give up his parental rights but he has now said that he wants to be "the step parent". Mu husband has hired a very aggressive attorney from a large firm. They are perplexed by this situation. They have never had a case where the man and wife stay married and raise the child together but the husband gives up all parental rights. My husband makes more money and will have to pay child support. A lot of child support. I have access to all correspondence from the two attorneys so no longer feel in the dark.

I know many think I am a troll but I am not. Wish I was. I recieved so many positive, supportive comments that it negated the mean people.

I am marching on, loving my kids and leaning on my crazy, amazing friends. Two years of hell have made me realize how very lucky I really am.

It's because of the child support they want to collect from your husband. What is so perplexing about it?

+1. Obviously they are in it for the money.

Does your husband even have an established relationship with the child? Has there been a paternity test? Do they want him to have a relationship with the child or do they just want money?

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the update, OP.

It really sounds like they are trying to get money from your STBX-DH. If the affair partner and her DH are still married and raising the kid, I don't see how this is possible.

Good luck. And good for you for getting back on your feet.

[Anonymous]

I hope your ex has a great lawyer.

[Anonymous]

You know, I don't think she's ever answered the question about the paternity test on any of the threads. Does this mean that your husband has just accepted his paternity without a test, OP?

I hope your husband is using some of his money for good lawyers. Also, if he does end up with shared custody, that should reduce his child support obligation, as will his prior family. Yes, he will live very frugally himself, but you should be ok.

Are you going to try to makeup the difference in income yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the update, OP.

It really sounds like they are trying to get money from your STBX-DH. If the affair partner and her DH are still married and raising the kid, I don't see how this is possible.

Good luck. And good for you for getting back on your feet.

I can see how how there could be a legal path to this. They would have to prove to the court that she decided it was in the best interest of the child to know his real bio-dad, and that she had made a mistake in naming her husband as father (due to hormones, fear, anger, who knows what justification she'll use). Now, she has seen the light, and wants to fix what was "really" just a small clerical error back when the child was born.

Anyway, that's what I would argue if I were she and I saw deep pockets ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know, I don't think she's ever answered the question about the paternity test on any of the threads. Does this mean that your husband has just accepted his paternity without a test, OP?

I hope your husband is using some of his money for good lawyers. Also, if he does end up with shared custody, that should reduce his child support obligation, as will his prior family. Yes, he will live very frugally himself, but you should be ok.

Are you going to try to makeup the difference in income yourself?

She doesn't ever answer that in any of her 4 threads because the Keyser Soze ending to this long con will be that the DH finally does do one and IT ISN'T HIS BABY! And op lives happily ever after with him. I never ever call troll but none of these threads have ever rung true to me. Let's not forget when she claimed to get a restraining order because she slashed one of the assistant's many blow up Christmas lawn decorations.

[Anonymous]

At least cash in on it. To me it is a toss up between Wendy Williams and Dr. Phil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know, I don't think she's ever answered the question about the paternity test on any of the threads. Does this mean that your husband has just accepted his paternity without a test, OP?

I hope your husband is using some of his money for good lawyers. Also, if he does end up with shared custody, that should reduce his child support obligation, as will his prior family. Yes, he will live very frugally himself, but you should be ok.

Are you going to try to makeup the difference in income yourself?

She doesn't ever answer that in any of her 4 threads because the Keyser Soze ending to this long con will be that the DH finally does do one and IT ISN'T HIS BABY! And op lives happily ever after with him. I never ever call troll but none of these threads have ever rung true to me. Let's not forget when she claimed to get a restraining order because she slashed one of the assistant's many blow up Christmas lawn decorations.

Ha! It has been entertaining for those of us not involved, either way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you cannot give up your rights as a father without an adoption. If they are asking for an adoption, and get it, he would not have to pay child support. Make sure there is a paternity test. They will not reduce your child support and take it from the remaining amount. She can ask for all he wants but it is up to the judge.

Exactly. How in the world is she able to double dip? It's like she is trying to achieve the best of both worlds by having two fathers. One for the emotional support and one for the financial. Crazy

It's called alpha fucks and beta bucks.

Except she is getting the alpha bucks as well. Don't really blame her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope you have your child support in place first. Good luck to you.

i

I do. Thank you. He is paying way more to us than the court would demand considering that child support is a formula based on income differentiation. Guilt is a powerful emotion. Unfortunately, if she gets what she wants including back child support, my husband will have a difficult time meeting both obligations (she makes around 11-12 dollars an hour).

Basically, to pay us and her (and her husband), he will be living with his mom in a two bedroom crummy condo for the next 20 years. My concern is where are my kids going to stay when they are with him, especially if he has this other child 10 days a month.

That is not much incentive to keep working at a high stress job. What happens if he decides to change to a much lower paying job?

The court will impute high income to him and put his ass in prison if he doesn't pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He should have kept his wandering dick in his draws. Now he gets to be poor.

Good luck to you.

His wife and first set of children get to be poor, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know, I don't think she's ever answered the question about the paternity test on any of the threads. Does this mean that your husband has just accepted his paternity without a test, OP?

I hope your husband is using some of his money for good lawyers. Also, if he does end up with shared custody, that should reduce his child support obligation, as will his prior family. Yes, he will live very frugally himself, but you should be ok.

Are you going to try to makeup the difference in income yourself?

She doesn't ever answer that in any of her 4 threads because the Keyser Soze ending to this long con will be that the DH finally does do one and IT ISN'T HIS BABY! And op lives happily ever after with him. I never ever call troll but none of these threads have ever rung true to me. Let's not forget when she claimed to get a restraining order because she slashed one of the assistant's many blow up Christmas lawn decorations.

Ha! It has been entertaining for those of us not involved, either way

Yeah she lost me with the Christmas fiasco. Not bad work she should consider writing Lifetime movies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know, I don't think she's ever answered the question about the paternity test on any of the threads. Does this mean that your husband has just accepted his paternity without a test, OP?

I hope your husband is using some of his money for good lawyers. Also, if he does end up with shared custody, that should reduce his child support obligation, as will his prior family. Yes, he will live very frugally himself, but you should be ok.

Are you going to try to makeup the difference in income yourself?

A paternity test would be standard in a case like this.

As for the OP, I appreciate she doesn't want her kids to be "poor" but like many other divorcing women she fails to see that she is going to provide at least half (and usually much more) of the support and that her ex will not be on the hook for every single child related expense.

In regards to the assistant, if they intend to present the child as their own, and the OP's DH does not ever do any visitation, just pays support, then I could see them pulling this off. My guess would be the DH will in fact ask for visitation if only to reduce his support burden to the child.