Reply to Husband had a baby with assistant update

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Women stupid enough to have babies with married men should get absolutely nothing.  It is contributory negligence.  Married Men who can't keep their pants zipped should be given a public vasectomy and a damn good public flogging![/quote]

Amen[/quote]

-1

It's not about the mom. It's  about the child. The child didn't choose to have  pathetic people for parents. The child deserves to be cared for. The child's father  is equally responsible for the child's care.

Despite what you want to believe allowing your husband to neglect the child he made  "to get back at" the OW will not make you feel better or make your husband's affair  any less real.[/quote]

Step dad wants child support so he can stay in the house they bought a mile from us.  He wants to be dad in every other way.  I have to messages to prove he wants to raise the child.  If they win in court, he doubles his pay and gets to raise the child every day

OP here - Is this to me?  I didn't type Amen.  You are right, the child is an innocent victim and my children are just as innocent.  I am divorcing my husband so I am not allowing him to "neglect" the child.  The child also has a father who is raising him. She is not a single mother.  He was there for the baby shower, birth, baptism, etc.  Being biologically related to someone is not near as important as being emotionally bonded.

One of our children is adopted, one is biological.  I love them both the same. My husband is our adopted child's father 100%.  I don't consider the woman who gave up my daughter for adoption as neglecting her.   My two kids share zero DNA and are really close. This would be my son's half brother technically but nothing to my daughter.   I am not trying to "get back" at the other woman.  What is in the best interest of all the children?  I really don't know.[/quote]

This is very different than adoption.  Stepfather does not want to be dad or they would not go to court.  Your husband is dad, bond or not, he is dad.

I disagree.  Is my daughter's birth father in Korea her dad? No.   This dad wants to be step dad because it is the only way he can collect money and remain in the house they bought a mile from ours. No one in his family knows the story and even his parents think it his his biological child.  He is dad in every sense of the word.  He has raised this child for two and a half years.  Nothing will change for him except he will get his mortgage paid.  My husband is not this child's dad as he really has no bond. He has a huge bond with the child he shares zero DNA with.  A dad is someone who raises you regardless of any biological connection.

They are going to court for money.  A woman is never forced to be a mom. She has options.  She can put the child up for adoption or abort.  A man has no reproductive rights.  He shouldn't have screwed her in the first place so he is to blame but had he been the pregnant one (sounds ridiculous, I know).  He would have aborted.  I am all for him supporting this child financially and emotionally if he did not already have a father.  He does not want to be a father to this child but will if the woman's husband does not want the responsibility.  But HE DOES!  He just wants more money to live a lifestyle they can't afford.[/quote]

You are confusing the issues.  Your husband is DAD.  Bond or no bond, there has been no adoption so assuming a paternity test confirms it, he IS Dad.  There is far more than "bonding" which is a very subjective term. He may be a very good stepfather but he will never be dad in less there is a legal adoption.  As a mom through adoption, I find your bonding nonsense very unfortunate.  Part of being a parent IS financially providing as well.[/quote]

No, my husband is the biological father.  You said you are an adoptive parent so your child has a biological father and mother as does my daughter.   Do you consider these people your kids mom and dad?  Don't u provide financially for this child?.  Are you saying your husband will never be "dad" to your adoptive child.  I hope he/she never hears you say that.  There has been no adoption but her husband is the legal father listed on the birth certificate.  He has raised the child from birth. He has provided all financial support.  He is "dad".  My husband is sperm donor.

I would love for my daughter to know her biological mom and dad for her own  sake.  However, I would never allow weekly visits with her biological family.  She is "our " daughter". DNA means nothing.  I think we share 99% of DNA with apes.

Even if paternity confirms it, the court will ultimately look at what is in the best interest of the child.   [/quote]

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