Am I wrong for having an affair with a married man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nah, Ho, you good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a lot of cases, the husband would be cheating with someone. It's not like one woman declining his offer is going to change his mind.

Sleeping with someone else's husband isn't something I thought I'd ever do. Once the line was crossed, I realized it's not as bad as I thought. We have amazing sex and a friendship, but that's about it. We don't want to marry each other. We don't want to cause any trouble in the other one's life. We get together a few times per year and have sex.

I'm certain it would be someone else if it wasn't me. We both understand what we have, and what we don't have. The risk is very low and the sex is off the charts.

That's an astonishingly cowardly comment. You could apply this twisted logic to all sorts of things. "Gee, if I'm not to one who (insert any shitty action here) then someone else will, so what's the difference?"

The difference is you can choose not to do shitty things. If you choose the low road then at least accept who you are without the lame rationalizations.

At this point, it's a victimless crime. We are both very careful. The odds of him getting caught are slim with me. The only way his wife would find out is if he told her. I'd feel guilty if it affected his family, but I think we've found the balance that makes that almost impossible. It works for us.

You're clearly a sociopath. No remorse or shame. Lacking empathy. Live by a pleasure principle (if it feels good and there are no consequences to you, then why not?). Disregard for societal norms. Lying.

It's one thing to have an affair. But to completely rationalize that you're doing nothing wrong takes some sort of mental deficiency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a lot of cases, the husband would be cheating with someone. It's not like one woman declining his offer is going to change his mind.

Sleeping with someone else's husband isn't something I thought I'd ever do. Once the line was crossed, I realized it's not as bad as I thought. We have amazing sex and a friendship, but that's about it. We don't want to marry each other. We don't want to cause any trouble in the other one's life. We get together a few times per year and have sex.

I'm certain it would be someone else if it wasn't me. We both understand what we have, and what we don't have. The risk is very low and the sex is off the charts.

That's an astonishingly cowardly comment. You could apply this twisted logic to all sorts of things. "Gee, if I'm not to one who (insert any shitty action here) then someone else will, so what's the difference?"

The difference is you can choose not to do shitty things. If you choose the low road then at least accept who you are without the lame rationalizations.

At this point, it's a victimless crime. We are both very careful. The odds of him getting caught are slim with me. The only way his wife would find out is if he told her. I'd feel guilty if it affected his family, but I think we've found the balance that makes that almost impossible. It works for us.

OP, why did you post this question on here? At every turn, you've defended your actions, made up your mind that you did nothing wrong. So, what was the point of this post?

She's bragging (in a passive aggressive way). She wants to brag in real life but knows she can't. She wants validation that this affair is "real" and this confessional is her only outlet. It's pathetic, really.

What's there to brag about? Middle-aged single woman having an affair with a Grandpa-aged guy who will never leave his wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a lot of cases, the husband would be cheating with someone. It's not like one woman declining his offer is going to change his mind.

Sleeping with someone else's husband isn't something I thought I'd ever do. Once the line was crossed, I realized it's not as bad as I thought. We have amazing sex and a friendship, but that's about it. We don't want to marry each other. We don't want to cause any trouble in the other one's life. We get together a few times per year and have sex.

I'm certain it would be someone else if it wasn't me. We both understand what we have, and what we don't have. The risk is very low and the sex is off the charts.

That's an astonishingly cowardly comment. You could apply this twisted logic to all sorts of things. "Gee, if I'm not to one who (insert any shitty action here) then someone else will, so what's the difference?"

The difference is you can choose not to do shitty things. If you choose the low road then at least accept who you are without the lame rationalizations.

At this point, it's a victimless crime. We are both very careful. The odds of him getting caught are slim with me. The only way his wife would find out is if he told her. I'd feel guilty if it affected his family, but I think we've found the balance that makes that almost impossible. It works for us.

OP, why did you post this question on here? At every turn, you've defended your actions, made up your mind that you did nothing wrong. So, what was the point of this post?

She's bragging (in a passive aggressive way). She wants to brag in real life but knows she can't. She wants validation that this affair is "real" and this confessional is her only outlet. It's pathetic, really.

What's there to brag about? Middle-aged single woman having an affair with a Grandpa-aged guy who will never leave his wife?

She's bragging because she's showing US! that she is banging a MARRIED DUDE, all you clueless pathetic married ladies!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a lot of cases, the husband would be cheating with someone. It's not like one woman declining his offer is going to change his mind.

Sleeping with someone else's husband isn't something I thought I'd ever do. Once the line was crossed, I realized it's not as bad as I thought. We have amazing sex and a friendship, but that's about it. We don't want to marry each other. We don't want to cause any trouble in the other one's life. We get together a few times per year and have sex.

I'm certain it would be someone else if it wasn't me. We both understand what we have, and what we don't have. The risk is very low and the sex is off the charts.

That's an astonishingly cowardly comment. You could apply this twisted logic to all sorts of things. "Gee, if I'm not to one who (insert any shitty action here) then someone else will, so what's the difference?"

The difference is you can choose not to do shitty things. If you choose the low road then at least accept who you are without the lame rationalizations.

At this point, it's a victimless crime. We are both very careful. The odds of him getting caught are slim with me. The only way his wife would find out is if he told her. I'd feel guilty if it affected his family, but I think we've found the balance that makes that almost impossible. It works for us.

You're clearly a sociopath. No remorse or shame. Lacking empathy. Live by a pleasure principle (if it feels good and there are no consequences to you, then why not?). Disregard for societal norms. Lying.

It's one thing to have an affair. But to completely rationalize that you're doing nothing wrong takes some sort of mental deficiency.

No, it isn't. It's just that the victim of the crime doesn't know yet.

Look, if you're happy sleeping with a lying cheater, go for it. Clearly no one here is going to talk you out of it. But you are knowingly choosing to involve yourself in a course of conduct that involves lying and breaking promises, and that will likely result in an innocent person being hurt badly. And just because you didn't make any promises to that person doesn't mean that what you're doing is morally neutral.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's bragging because she's showing US! that she is banging a MARRIED DUDE, all you clueless pathetic married ladies!

Virtually any decent looking 40 year old could bang some married guy any night of the week if they really wanted to. There's no distinction in that. Being some cheaters F buddy is about the lowest one can slink to on the sexual scale. Hardly seems like a brag-worthy accomplishment.

[Anonymous]

These things tend to backfire: a couple of years ago a good friend of mine was having an affair (I didn't know about it) with a married, older man.

Turns out he was perpetuating a massive financial fraud and thousands of people lost their life savings because of him (it made national news) and he's now in prison.

Her name came out in conjunction with it.

Don't be so sure you'll always be hidden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's bragging because she's showing US! that she is banging a MARRIED DUDE, all you clueless pathetic married ladies!

Virtually any decent looking 40 year old could bang some married guy any night of the week if they really wanted to. There's no distinction in that. Being some cheaters F buddy is about the lowest one can slink to on the sexual scale. Hardly seems like a brag-worthy accomplishment.

+1 Most people don't think of a woman banging a married man as someone to be jealous of, unless those people also want to be banging some married man or he looks like some hot celebrity with a fabulous body, which I'm gonna guess is not this guy. But for the most part, I think most people would see OP as a morally bankrupt, pathetic person, someone to feel sorry for and yet at the same time be disgusted by her actions - as evidenced by the posts here.

[Anonymous]

OP - have you ever had a long term, monogomous, relationship? If you've had, and let's say you were cheated on, would you seriously not be angry at the OW, too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a lot of cases, the husband would be cheating with someone. It's not like one woman declining his offer is going to change his mind.

Sleeping with someone else's husband isn't something I thought I'd ever do. Once the line was crossed, I realized it's not as bad as I thought. We have amazing sex and a friendship, but that's about it. We don't want to marry each other. We don't want to cause any trouble in the other one's life. We get together a few times per year and have sex.

I'm certain it would be someone else if it wasn't me. We both understand what we have, and what we don't have. The risk is very low and the sex is off the charts.

That's an astonishingly cowardly comment. You could apply this twisted logic to all sorts of things. "Gee, if I'm not to one who (insert any shitty action here) then someone else will, so what's the difference?"

The difference is you can choose not to do shitty things. If you choose the low road then at least accept who you are without the lame rationalizations.

At this point, it's a victimless crime. We are both very careful. The odds of him getting caught are slim with me. The only way his wife would find out is if he told her. I'd feel guilty if it affected his family, but I think we've found the balance that makes that almost impossible. It works for us.

OP, why did you post this question on here? At every turn, you've defended your actions, made up your mind that you did nothing wrong. So, what was the point of this post?

Are you perhaps looking for validation? If you know in your heart you are not doing anything wrong, or questioning yourself, you would not have posted on here. But, as you have, I think you have a small part of you that knows this is wrong.

If a person steals something, and then sells it to someone else who also knows it's stolen, then that buyer is just as guilty. The man is stealing what belongs to his wife and giving it to you. As the receiver, yes, you are guilty because you know what he is giving to you is stolen.

I'm not the OP. I have posed no questions, just offered a different point of view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a married man who has cheated with a married woman. Once you get past the guild of it, everything else falls into place. If your spouse doesn't have the same sex drive as you, but everything else about your lives together mesh, then it's a matter of personal opinion if it's right or not.

So, did you ask your wife her personal opinion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a lot of cases, the husband would be cheating with someone. It's not like one woman declining his offer is going to change his mind.

Sleeping with someone else's husband isn't something I thought I'd ever do. Once the line was crossed, I realized it's not as bad as I thought. We have amazing sex and a friendship, but that's about it. We don't want to marry each other. We don't want to cause any trouble in the other one's life. We get together a few times per year and have sex.

I'm certain it would be someone else if it wasn't me. We both understand what we have, and what we don't have. The risk is very low and the sex is off the charts.

That's an astonishingly cowardly comment. You could apply this twisted logic to all sorts of things. "Gee, if I'm not to one who (insert any shitty action here) then someone else will, so what's the difference?"

The difference is you can choose not to do shitty things. If you choose the low road then at least accept who you are without the lame rationalizations.

At this point, it's a victimless crime. We are both very careful. The odds of him getting caught are slim with me. The only way his wife would find out is if he told her. I'd feel guilty if it affected his family, but I think we've found the balance that makes that almost impossible. It works for us.

You're clearly a sociopath. No remorse or shame. Lacking empathy. Live by a pleasure principle (if it feels good and there are no consequences to you, then why not?). Disregard for societal norms. Lying.

It's one thing to have an affair. But to completely rationalize that you're doing nothing wrong takes some sort of mental deficiency.

No its quite a normal, common response and really its not unreasonable. It is the man who is doing the cheating on his family and if not with her, with someone else. She is actually inconsequential in terms of the marriage, she is just a symptom of their problems, not the cause.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a lot of cases, the husband would be cheating with someone. It's not like one woman declining his offer is going to change his mind.

Sleeping with someone else's husband isn't something I thought I'd ever do. Once the line was crossed, I realized it's not as bad as I thought. We have amazing sex and a friendship, but that's about it. We don't want to marry each other. We don't want to cause any trouble in the other one's life. We get together a few times per year and have sex.

I'm certain it would be someone else if it wasn't me. We both understand what we have, and what we don't have. The risk is very low and the sex is off the charts.

That's an astonishingly cowardly comment. You could apply this twisted logic to all sorts of things. "Gee, if I'm not to one who (insert any shitty action here) then someone else will, so what's the difference?"

The difference is you can choose not to do shitty things. If you choose the low road then at least accept who you are without the lame rationalizations.

At this point, it's a victimless crime. We are both very careful. The odds of him getting caught are slim with me. The only way his wife would find out is if he told her. I'd feel guilty if it affected his family, but I think we've found the balance that makes that almost impossible. It works for us.

You're clearly a sociopath. No remorse or shame. Lacking empathy. Live by a pleasure principle (if it feels good and there are no consequences to you, then why not?). Disregard for societal norms. Lying.

It's one thing to have an affair. But to completely rationalize that you're doing nothing wrong takes some sort of mental deficiency.

I'm not a sociopath. That's ridiculous. I'm not a believer in lifelong monogamy. I'm allowed to have a different idea of what's right and wrong. You don't have to agree to make it okay.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe this thread is still ongoing. OP is clearly a troll! Cmon people!

[Anonymous]

My friend was having an affair with a married man, whose wife was pregnant at the time. Turns out, he had done this before, caught an STD and passed it on to my friend and his wife. Just a word of warning.