Am I wrong for having an affair with a married man?

[Anonymous]

It's wrong because you are letting him be a little boy. He gets his side piece of ass without having to deal with your family, annoying friends, annoying habits. you are being used and you are letting it happen.

Ultimately I think affairs are pretty self-destructive. Hopefully you can eventually learn something and find peace. But you sound kind of narcissistic.

[Anonymous]

*right, not "write" obviously ^^

[Anonymous]

Wrong isn't the correct word, in my mind. After all, like you said, you didn't take any vows to his wife. But you're not a kind or compassionate person, that's for sure. If you were, you wouldn't be so comfortable carrying on in a way that could devastate another person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wrong isn't the correct word, in my mind. After all, like you said, you didn't take any vows to his wife. But you're not a kind or compassionate person, that's for sure. If you were, you wouldn't be so comfortable carrying on in a way that could devastate another person.

If I help someone rob a bank or murder another person, but I don't actually pull the gun, am I still "wrong?" Of course I am. And so is OP.

No person is an island. We all live in this world as part of society; people like OP are a cancer in that society.

[Anonymous]

Totally not wrong. Super ethical and you're right/. He definitely loves you. You've nailed this relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a never-been-married 40 year old woman and I've been in an affair with a 55 year old married man for 3 years. I'm happy. I love him, he loves me, sex is great, non-sex time is great. I don't want anything to change. Several of my closest women friends have told me they think I am wrong for being involved with a married guy. I say, "I'm not the one who took the vows. I'm not deceiving anyone." Should I re-think this?

OP, you seem very self-centered ... not surprisingly. "I'm happy, I'm not the one who took vows." I suppose that's how you got to be a 40 year old who never married and thinks nothing of having an affair with a married man.

If you could think past the end of your own little bubble, you would realize the damage this is doing, and your part in keeping it alive. Your shack-up took vows to another woman, establishing a union supported by the state and, possibly, the church. There are reasons that marriage vows are legal contracts, and are in place for the good of society. You really can't see how making that fall apart is destructive to people beyond yourself?

OP here. I don't want to be married. I like my independence. I think many of my married women friends frequently wish they had my freedom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a never-been-married 40 year old woman and I've been in an affair with a 55 year old married man for 3 years. I'm happy. I love him, he loves me, sex is great, non-sex time is great. I don't want anything to change. Several of my closest women friends have told me they think I am wrong for being involved with a married guy. I say, "I'm not the one who took the vows. I'm not deceiving anyone." Should I re-think this?

OP, you seem very self-centered ... not surprisingly. "I'm happy, I'm not the one who took vows." I suppose that's how you got to be a 40 year old who never married and thinks nothing of having an affair with a married man.

If you could think past the end of your own little bubble, you would realize the damage this is doing, and your part in keeping it alive. Your shack-up took vows to another woman, establishing a union supported by the state and, possibly, the church. There are reasons that marriage vows are legal contracts, and are in place for the good of society. You really can't see how making that fall apart is destructive to people beyond yourself?

OP here. I don't want to be married. I like my independence. I think many of my married women friends frequently wish they had my freedom.

OP, I really hope that you are a troll. Frankly, you sound like a miserable, self-absorbed human being. And I promise your married friends do not envy you. Not one bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, love has nothing to do with it and for the record, I am guessing this is NOT the first...am I right? There is something wrong for you to think you are better person for being able to sleep with someone else's husband!!! The mentality is in the wrong place OP.
You still have time to change but until you figure out why you are doing this, nothing is going to change. EVER. You will have trust issues down the road, there is always price to be paid. No free lunches babe.

OP here, this is the first and only married man I've been with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a never-been-married 40 year old woman and I've been in an affair with a 55 year old married man for 3 years. I'm happy. I love him, he loves me, sex is great, non-sex time is great. I don't want anything to change. Several of my closest women friends have told me they think I am wrong for being involved with a married guy. I say, "I'm not the one who took the vows. I'm not deceiving anyone." Should I re-think this?

OP, you seem very self-centered ... not surprisingly. "I'm happy, I'm not the one who took vows." I suppose that's how you got to be a 40 year old who never married and thinks nothing of having an affair with a married man.

If you could think past the end of your own little bubble, you would realize the damage this is doing, and your part in keeping it alive. Your shack-up took vows to another woman, establishing a union supported by the state and, possibly, the church. There are reasons that marriage vows are legal contracts, and are in place for the good of society. You really can't see how making that fall apart is destructive to people beyond yourself?

OP here. I don't want to be married. I like my independence. I think many of my married women friends frequently wish they had my freedom.

Freedom? You're on a married man schedule. Enjoy that "freedom"

[Anonymous]

I have one friend who only dates/hooks up with married men. I personally think she has major intimacy issues. I think she is a mental disaster and her dating married men is just one of the symptoms.

I'm sure his wife isn't perfect and I do agree that she is his problem and he her problem. However I can't help, but think you are serious issues. And foe the record I'm never jealous of single women of any sort...especially not 40hr old ones. I'd hate to be trolling the bars and dating websites for intimacy. I'm happy to leave single life in the rear view mirror.

[Anonymous]

Wow obvious troll is obvious.

[Anonymous]

^ Agree. Obviously a troll....do not feed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow obvious troll is obvious.

It"s Tuesday Troll Day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a never-been-married 40 year old woman and I've been in an affair with a 55 year old married man for 3 years. I'm happy. I love him, he loves me, sex is great, non-sex time is great. I don't want anything to change. Several of my closest women friends have told me they think I am wrong for being involved with a married guy. I say, "I'm not the one who took the vows. I'm not deceiving anyone." Should I re-think this?

OP, you seem very self-centered ... not surprisingly. "I'm happy, I'm not the one who took vows." I suppose that's how you got to be a 40 year old who never married and thinks nothing of having an affair with a married man.

If you could think past the end of your own little bubble, you would realize the damage this is doing, and your part in keeping it alive. Your shack-up took vows to another woman, establishing a union supported by the state and, possibly, the church. There are reasons that marriage vows are legal contracts, and are in place for the good of society. You really can't see how making that fall apart is destructive to people beyond yourself?

OP here. I don't want to be married. I like my independence. I think many of my married women friends frequently wish they had my freedom.

They might once in a while, but when something happens and they need their spouse's support, I'm willing to bet that most of them are glad to have him there. A friend of mine just finished her last round of chemo for breast cancer, and her husband has been there for every doctor's appointment, every scan, every chemo session when she's wanted company. Would your married boyfriend be there for you the same way? I highly doubt it, his wife would get too suspicious, and ultimately she comes first.

I think it's sad you're content to be such a distant second.

[Anonymous]

I think we all know who the real winner is in this relationship...

Eli Lilly and Company.