Did a 180 and decided to redshirt my child- question for parents who decided to do the same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an early September baby and the cutoff is Sept. 30. He's not even near kindergarten, but I'm redshirting 100%. I can afford childcare and there's no reason for my child to be the smallest in their class. Plus, an extra year of childhood. If you want to start your 4-year-old in kindergarten I don't care, but many of us make a different choice.

Here's the difference-- a September baby really is on the bubble, will be the absolute youngest, and really may not be ready-- especially a boy. A May baby SHOULD be older than about 40% of his class, maybe more since there always seem to be a lot of late spring/summer babies. The May baby is average, and the September baby is the outlier. Everybody defending red shirting their August/ September DS is comparing apples and oranges.

The hyperventilating anti-redshirters here on DCUM don't distinguish between people who redshirt a kid on the cusp and people who redshirt a May birthday. Yours is maybe the only comment I've ever read from somebody who seems to oppose redshirting but who nonetheless points out that Aug/Sept is different than May/June.

Then you haven't really been reading this thread. There have been several comments saying as much, here and on the many other threads on this subject.

[Anonymous]

OP, my kid is an August birthday and the youngest in his K class. I can assure you we have enough going on in our own lives, and really don't care all that much about how old your kid is and when his birthday is. If we ask, it is just to be polite and make conversation. So I would worry about your own life, and assume others are doing the same.

[Anonymous]

Wow. One day, he will be 18 and want to date the cute 15 year old in his English class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is how it typically plays out IMO:
Red shirted child does really well in school. Childs parents are very proud. Other parents dismiss these accomplishments, roll their eyes and say "well, of course he is in the highest reading group. His mom had 10-12 more months to prep him"

Red shirted child does well in sports. Childs parents are very proud. Other parents dismiss these accomplishments, roll their eyes and say "well of course he's better than all the other kids. He's had almost another year of growing, coordinating and his dad had another 10-12 months of throwing the ball with him every night in the backyard."
It's almost like these kids accomplishments are put in another category and excused because they are so much older they are expected to be better. And yes, everyone knows who these kids are

LOLOL.

So the lesson is: if you're choosing your child's academic path in order to impress other parents, don't redshirt. Got it.

OP, this is what youl'll have to deal with: the rampant insecurity of parents who didn't redshirt and who are therefore furious and terrified that your child may have some kind of advantage over their snowflakes.

My son just finished first grade (April birthday/not held back)--unlike the redshirted kids in his grade, he's in the highest reading and math groups and very atheletic. The three redshirted kids he knows are all massive violent troublemakers. So, no, not insecure...if anything, I feel bad for the kids who obviously haven't worked through the issues that caused them to be held back.

[Anonymous]

I have a child with a July 22 birthday who entered kindergarten last fall shortly after she turned 5 and honestly, at this point I wish we would have held her back. 6-8 kids in her class were 11-14 months older than her. She passed all the kindergarten benchmarks, is reading at a level C but she is also at the bottom of her class.


Your problem is people like OP. Your July child should not be in a kindergarten with kids 11-14 months older. That is insane.

Parenting has gone off the rails.

But how do you know that she is at the bottom of the class because of her birthday? My son has a July birthday and is in the upper half of his K class. There is only one child who is younger than him, all the rest are older by a good deal. He is, however, more emotionally immature than a lot of the boys in his class. I would have liked to have held him back for that reason, but his preschool would not allow him to repeat, and I had noplace else to put him.

[Anonymous]

I sent my August birthday on time and she is consistently the top of her class. Attended a HGC in MoCo and had straight A's in MS. She has friends that are both older and younger. Yes..op people will know how old your child is. It will come up for b-days , camps, and sport eligibility. Your son will even talk about it himself. If you don;t want people to wonder send him on time. I can't really imagine basing this on a 4 year olds thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is how it typically plays out IMO:
Red shirted child does really well in school. Childs parents are very proud. Other parents dismiss these accomplishments, roll their eyes and say "well, of course he is in the highest reading group. His mom had 10-12 more months to prep him"

Red shirted child does well in sports. Childs parents are very proud. Other parents dismiss these accomplishments, roll their eyes and say "well of course he's better than all the other kids. He's had almost another year of growing, coordinating and his dad had another 10-12 months of throwing the ball with him every night in the backyard."
It's almost like these kids accomplishments are put in another category and excused because they are so much older they are expected to be better. And yes, everyone knows who these kids are

LOLOL.

So the lesson is: if you're choosing your child's academic path in order to impress other parents, don't redshirt. Got it.

OP, this is what youl'll have to deal with: the rampant insecurity of parents who didn't redshirt and who are therefore furious and terrified that your child may have some kind of advantage over their snowflakes.

My son just finished first grade (April birthday/not held back)--unlike the redshirted kids in his grade, he's in the highest reading and math groups and very atheletic. The three redshirted kids he knows are all massive violent troublemakers. So, no, not insecure...if anything, I feel bad for the kids who obviously haven't worked through the issues that caused them to be held back.

Scary that people feel comfortable talking about first graders like this -- empathy clearly isn't your strong suit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is how it typically plays out IMO:
Red shirted child does really well in school. Childs parents are very proud. Other parents dismiss these accomplishments, roll their eyes and say "well, of course he is in the highest reading group. His mom had 10-12 more months to prep him"

Red shirted child does well in sports. Childs parents are very proud. Other parents dismiss these accomplishments, roll their eyes and say "well of course he's better than all the other kids. He's had almost another year of growing, coordinating and his dad had another 10-12 months of throwing the ball with him every night in the backyard."
It's almost like these kids accomplishments are put in another category and excused because they are so much older they are expected to be better. And yes, everyone knows who these kids are

LOLOL.

So the lesson is: if you're choosing your child's academic path in order to impress other parents, don't redshirt. Got it.

OP, this is what youl'll have to deal with: the rampant insecurity of parents who didn't redshirt and who are therefore furious and terrified that your child may have some kind of advantage over their snowflakes.

My son just finished first grade (April birthday/not held back)--unlike the redshirted kids in his grade, he's in the highest reading and math groups and very atheletic. The three redshirted kids he knows are all massive violent troublemakers. So, no, not insecure...if anything, I feel bad for the kids who obviously haven't worked through the issues that caused them to be held back.

Uh huh. Sure. Redshirting causes children to be MASSIVE VIOLENT TROUBLEMAKERS, unlike your little genius athletic spawn.

What a peach you are!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't the school's just stop this and say there is a cutoff. Your child will enter with the correct class uses there is a special need? Am I missing something?

If your kid has a special need, even more reason to send them.

Clearly meant "unless" there is a SN

[Anonymous]

I stopped reading when someone said your child would turn 7 in kindergarten. WTF? I was 7 in second grade. Why would you do that to a child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's your choice to pursue and adhd diagnosis. As well as medicating is a choice too. Redshirting is not the solution, parenting is.

I don't know that anyone is saying that redshirting is THE solution to the adhd misdiagnosis. However, i think the fact that tons of kids are diagnosed with ADHD, and the younger they are in class, the more likely they are to get diagnosed, is saying something about whether or not class is age-appropriate for those younger kids.

I did not base my redshirting decision on the possibility of my kid being misdiagnosed, I redshirted because i think K is age-inappropriate even for the children starting on time, so I didn't want my child starting something that isn't working well for his age group. I am so pleased with our decision. He was a late Aug bday though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to understand that you are setting your poor son up to go through puberty a full year and a half ahead of his "peers".


I thin what you have done to your son is truly ridiculous and without merit or reason.

You need better math skills! You should have been red-shirted!

My redshirted son's best friend went to K on time. they're in the same class and 6 weeks apart in age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an early September baby and the cutoff is Sept. 30. He's not even near kindergarten, but I'm redshirting 100%. I can afford childcare and there's no reason for my child to be the smallest in their class. Plus, an extra year of childhood. If you want to start your 4-year-old in kindergarten I don't care, but many of us make a different choice.

I never understand this. Your son will turn 18 years after he was born, regardless of when he starts kindergarten. Or does childhood end when the child (or the no-longer-child, I guess?) enters kindergarten?

[Anonymous]

^^^that is -- Your son will turn 18 18 years after he was born.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an early September baby and the cutoff is Sept. 30. He's not even near kindergarten, but I'm redshirting 100%. I can afford childcare and there's no reason for my child to be the smallest in their class. Plus, an extra year of childhood. If you want to start your 4-year-old in kindergarten I don't care, but many of us make a different choice.

I never understand this. Your son will turn 18 years after he was born, regardless of when he starts kindergarten. Or does childhood end when the child (or the no-longer-child, I guess?) enters kindergarten?

That seems to be the assumption. I'm don't understand it either.